10 Things We Hate About Your Movie

Cuz of May the fifth be with you or something. Anyway, we're doing 5ths in a franchise. Starting with the greatest 5 of all time with the exception of the Jacksons. Whatever happened to the family music groups? The partridge family, the Osmonds, Gladys and her pips, Hanson.... The Skywalkers!? See.. I brought it back. Imagine DV, Leia, Luke in a singing trio? Just listen, please.

Fear? More like Smear? Am i right? This movie... I'm glad Reesepril is over with this abandoned rotting leprosatic limb of a movie. nailed it. At least Reese finally gets called out for her slutty makeup. Who hasn't had that conversation before? Also, Marky Mark is this for some reason and you get to see the origins of films like "the happening", "three kings", "planet of the apes"... you get it. he's bad. Oh he was also in the Lovely Bones.. Don't get me started on that gross terrible film.

Aprispoon month continues. You know, the month of Reese Witherspoon movies. This one is gross. A lot of Epstein vibes. A Dan Schneider joint.. am i right? Why is Selma Blair special needs? Doesn't make sense. Makes everything so much worse. Plenty to hate.

April is Reese Witherspoon month.. Obviously. Reesepril or Apreese? Maybe Aprilspoon? It doesn't matter. We'll run a contest to name the month or something. Probably not though. We're not really engaged like that. Anyway, listen to the last hates. We troll Justin. Enjoy!

The name says it all.. Ninjas ninjaing on the surf. It tells the story of Ernie Reyes Jr's early life, his search for his origins, and his clairvoyant brother's struggle with dyslexia. Its a fun one with a young Rob Schneider and a 20-something Tone Loc battling wits. High kicks and high laughs highlight this coming of age. Listen, won't you?

This one is oozing with action, adventure, thrilling moments, teenage sexual exploitation, sci-fi goodness, and laughs... Not the movie; this podcast. Chaseface is not back from his sabbatical in Central South Carolina, but the show must go on... with leather-clad teenage ninja world travelers. A lot of repurposing of sets, dialogue, story, characters.. pretty much the movie. Listen to it. it won't kill you.

Marchial Arts month continues with Kiss of the Dragon. Just a few months before 9/11, the movie, Kiss of the Dragon, graced the silver screen. Jet Li plays an agent for the CCP to help stop heroin smuggling in France, and saves a midwestern american and her daughter from a life of prostitution. Also, acupuncture needles that paralyze and kill. Almost had a real fun movie. Justin hated it because of his issues with the french. Listen and you'll like it.

It's Marchial Arts! We combined the month of March with Martial Arts. Its a play-on-words. So we're watching movies with Martial Arts in them. Now that we've established the theme, here's a description: The Orient God of Thunder is french, the 4-armed alien speaks like he's an urban american, a slave skeleton ninja annunciates like Michael Buffer, and EDM. Good Ol' fashion american/french/asian martial arts fun. It takes a planet.

A marvel movie to round out Shane Black History Month. Also, the resident marvel fan, Chaseface, not available.. So, Justin and Nick gut through this one the best they can... This movie's audience is very unclear. Is it for 12 year olds who like comic book movies or 20-somethings looking for a role model that's a bigger douche than they are? No one knows.. But one thing is clear, they made 3 of these movies not including all the MCU movies that included Iron Man. Thats what you get by constantly shelling out money for these things.. Stop it. Anyway, enjoy.

Shane Black History Month continues with Monster Squad. A feel good romp for the whole family. Because the monsters are very inadequate as monsters. But good ol' fashioned 80s dialogue and teenage horniness. Chase has a zinger. worth a listen. Also, for some reasons Nazis come up... And for the record Nazis are bad. I know how sensitive people are to Nazi talk.

Continuing Shane Black history month with a classic Christmas story about a man down on his luck (his wife died). The only thing that keeps him going is an older black man and his weird family. We're still having technical challenges, but at least Chaseface showed up at the end to add nothing. This is all we have.. Enjoy!

Nick is back! Arnold is back! Shane is Black! We are celebrating Shane Black History month with a movie he’s barely in. Be prepared for f bombs, a bombs, and hot takes from one member in particular. We bleed and we are ugly and by the end of this we will get to the choppa!

Johnwooary ends with Face/Off. Puck/Drop. Blue/Line. High/Sticking. According to John Woo the slash turned away all of the hockey enthusiasts because as we all know, hockey enthusiasts go into all movies ice cold… Chase and Justin tackle the dick and teeth conundrum as we take in one of Nick Cage’s most unhinged performances. Justin’s mic failed him but Nick will be back next week to improve our audio outputs. Enjoy another convoWOOted classic!

Jonhwooary fights on without Nicolas! We finally caved in under the amount of Nick related hate mail and he’s not part of this show. So listen to Chase explain nuclear bomb logistics and Justin get heated over the lady under the tarp.

It's John-Woo-ary. Its like January but with an asian... JCVD classic. The muscles from Brussels with a leg that's registered as a lethal weapon. The diabetes guy is in this.. Also, unions are a big fat scam. If it wasn't for the union, JCVD would have had work and wouldn't have had to help a random lady with his fighting and motorcycle skills. Justin tries his best in this one.. and its not good. Remember kids, shoot first and roundhouse kick later.... Chase hates included. Enjoy!

A special guest for a mediocre (at best) Christmas movie. Its not as good as you remember... But its Christmas, so whatever..

A Justin request. Justin's home in the 1990's exclusively played TBS. TBS played a lot of Saved by the Bell i.e. Justin loves Saved by the bell... Its fun but plenty to hate!

A holiday classic... Too good to hate? Maybe a little..

The absolute worst movie in ever... No redeeming qualities. Justin's idea... This movie is a sham. Seriously, why would this ever have been made? Who is this for? a 9 year old could write a better script.. But, we figured it out. We know the answers. Listen to find out.

Another one for Rapsgiving. This time its the classic Eminem vehicle, 8 mile. Awkward sex scenes, brittany murphy sucking hard, and some good music. Justin explores the uncomfortable truth about life in detroit. Enjoy!