Decoding Narcissism, Manipulation And Toxic Ideas, with Frederik Ribersson

I read the introduction to my upcoming book regarding common mistakes people make about narcissism, which prevent them from healing and getting their lives back on track. I share a bit of my backstory and some thoughts about why this is important.

Narcissists love to infiltrate and take over groups. It's less effort than creating a group. There are certain patterns they follow. I observe 6 stages of the takeover. Hopefully this will make you less vulnerable.

Narcissists will claim to know a lot. They will appear certain. And yet, many of the things they claim to know are... unknowable. Or it is not possible for them to be as certain as they are. In this episode, I share some thoughts to avoid falling for the "certainty = credibility" trap.

I just came across an article "what words can destroy a narcissist" on some website. I think it was generated by AI. And it was full of really toxic ideas and thought structures. I recorded my debunking of these ideas that WILL backfire on anyone who tries them. I really dislike when people take advantage of others. And it's important to recognise bad and unhelpful ideas.

Cults and Narcissists use nearly identical manipulation tricks that are very effective - until we recognise them and debunk them. In this episode I share 6 of these tricks they play and make some suggestions to make yourself less vulnerable.

Here is a sneak preview of some ideas I explore in the book I am writing on narcissism. I finally found an angle I think is relevant and would love to hear what you think. I list the 11 mistakes below. And if you'd like to accelerate your healing process, why not see if the Healing After Narcissists course might be helpful? It comes with a money back guarantee: https://healingafternarcissists.ribersson.com The mistakes are: 1. Wanting to diagnose 2. Wanting to understand 3. Wanting to fix them 4. Wanting to not see the obvious 5. Wanting to believe it's our fault, i.e. it's fixable and it's something we did 6. Wanting to always learn more (become obsessed) 7. Wanting to not let go 8. Wanting to believe someone has the answers 9. Wanting a simplistic answer (worldview) 10. Wanting to be validated 11. Wanting a distraction

Narcissists use convoluted / stupid thinking to manipulate others and defend low quality ideas. Once we recognise HOW narcissists think, it becomes easier to avoid being manipulated and to avoid embracing low quality ideas. In this episode I share 11 of these ideas and debunk the.

Is therapy helpful after being with a narcissist? Is all therapy equal? What are some things to look out for? What was my experience working with a therapist through a breakup WITHOUT being aware of narcissism? I share some thoughts on this topic. In short, I recommend working with licensed therapists who have experience dealing with personality disorders, otherwise you run the risk of the "both people contributed to the problems". This usually is true, and it is very different when one person is pretending to be someone else.

When a friend's new partner starts employing Isolation Tactics, or Loyalty Challenge, when they are trying to create conflict between the friend and their Support Group, what is really going on? And if you put down boundaries, are you being unreasonable or… Doing the right thing? Tune in to find out!

Narcissists use Rupars to gaslight us. The technique is obnoxious, and effective, and can make us hallucinate they are right, and we are wrong. So what is a Rupar, how does it work, and how can we avoid getting rupared by #narcissists?

Why don't narcissists admit when they get something wrong? There are two reasons. Until we understand them, we are likely to try to get them to see things from our point of view. That is exhausting and frustrating. But once we understand why we can't work through things with them, it becomes easier to stop wasting our time and energy.

When you first realise that someone matches the profile of a narcissist, and you tell your friends, many people will not believe you. There are some common sentences they will use to express. What basically is cognitive dissonance. In this episode, I run through 10 sentences and I share some perspectives and how to approach them.

Narcissists and cults use similar manipulation tactics to wear people down. In this livestream from YouTube, I share some thoughts.

What is the first sign of a toxic dynamic? We often look for behaviours and patterns, but maybe the first sign is a feeling we have, a sinking feeling, not feeling good enough. And maybe the first symptom of that is when we stop doing things that we love and that are good for us. The nice "focus boosting" drink called Magic Mind I mentioned, with many healthy ingredients, has a special offer in January, which you can find here: https://www.magicmind.com/JANfrederikribersson And if you use the code RIBERSSON20, you'll get another 20% off your order. I tried and enjoy this drink (who are kindly sponsoring this episode), so am happy to mention it to my audience.

Narcissists wear us down. It's the same tactics cults use. And their programming will stay with us for years, until we undo it. So the abuse continues. Why do they do they? And what can we do? The episode is kindly sponsored by Magic Mind, a drink that blends some well recognised mental stimulants to help increase clarity and focus, without overdoing caffeine. This is relevant because the incessant "too little sleep, too much coffee, being awake but jittery, too wound up to sleep, drinking alcohol, too little sleep" cycle makes us far more vulnerable to manipulation from narcissists - as well as just being bad for our health. They have a special offer in January 2024, if you subscribe for 3 months, you get one month free here: ⁠https://www.magicmind.com/JANfrederikribersson⁠ And if you use code RIBERSSON20, you'll get an extra 20% off.

Relationships with narcissists can't work out. And the reason is obvious, once we see it. A client was asking if things failed because of what she did, or didn't do, or say, or wear, or some other random detail. No, obviously not. But she was looked at the wrong level. In this episode, I share a simple model and question that help see the big picture and give us much needed perspective. On a different topic, a nice "focus boosting" drink called Magic Mind with many healthy ingredients has a special offer in January, which you can find here: https://www.magicmind.com/JANfrederikribersson And if you use the code RIBERSSON20, you'll get another 20% off your order. I tried and enjoy this drink (who are kindly sponsoring some episodes, though not this one), so am happy to mention it to my audience.

Relationships with narcissists can't work out. And the reason is obvious, once we see it. A client was asking if things failed because of what she did, or didn't do, or say, or wear, or some other random detail. No, obviously not. But she was looked at the wrong level. In this episode, I share a simple model and question that help see the big picture and give us much needed perspective. On a different topic, a nice "focus boosting" drink called Magic Mind with many healthy ingredients has a special offer in January, which you can find here: https://www.magicmind.com/JANfrederikribersson And if you use the code RIBERSSON20, you'll get another 20% off your order. I tried and enjoy this drink (who are kindly sponsoring some episodes, though not this one), so am happy to mention it to my audience.

Though we don't control 100% of our lives, we control more than 0.0% of them. Getting away (and staying away) from narcissists is easier when we make some changes that seem small, but add up. Even in the the worst situations, there are some things we can do. In this episode I share 10 of these tips. The episode is kindly sponsored by Magic Mind, a drink that blends some well recognised mental stimulants to help increase clarity and focus, without overdoing caffeine. This is relevant because the incessant "too little sleep, too much coffee, being awake but jittery, too wound up to sleep, drinking alcohol, too little sleep" cycle makes us far more vulnerable to manipulation from narcissists - as well as just being bad for our health. They have a special offer in January 2024, if you subscribe for 3 months, you get one month free here: https://www.magicmind.com/JANfrederikribersson And if you use code RIBERSSON20, you'll get an extra 20% off.

Dr Heidi Brocke realised she was married to a narcissist. They had children. She took the incredibly difficult decision to leave, and leave her children with their father. Why? And what happened? (Spoiler: things turned out well). Now she helps people identify and escape toxic relationships. In this conversation, we discuss our observations around dynamics, share helpful ideas, and more. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed interviewing Heidi. You can find more information about her here: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/ And listen to her podcast here: https://open.spotify.com/show/0Fu2MfK3dA7lb21IngEJyc And a nice "focus boosting" drink called Magic Mind with many healthy incredients has a special offer in January, which you can find here: https://www.magicmind.com/JANfrederikribersson And if you use the code RIBERSSON20, you'll get another 20% off your order. I tried and enjoy this drink (who are kindly sponsoring some episodes, though not this one), so am happy to mention it to my audience.

How can a simple 0 to 10 scale help us have a better Christmas, even with narcissists? How can it help us manage our expectations, get less wound up, and maybe even make things better? Tune in to find out. And a Very Merry Christmas to you!