Communication Untangled

Stacie wraps up this season of Communication Untangled! She shares how she'll be spending her summer, what she's learning from her business, and where she's heading with it, as well as what she plans to accomplish between seasons. She finishes off the series by reinforcing the power of good communication skills, and leaves us with a fond farewell! More Stacie www.staciespeaker.com

In this episode, Stacie welcomes Elena Deutsch to the Communication Untangled podcast! Elena works with attorney's in order to help them figure out their next step, kick that inner nay-sayer to the curb, and to take action on their dreams. The funny thing: Elena is not, and has never been a lawyer, but she has a massive passion for helping women in law. In This Episode How and why she decided to work with lawyers The core concept that Elena goes through with her clients Saying no and created a desired life Questioning your thought process using 4 simple questions “This idea of helping women lawyers kept waking me up” “She's saying yes to sleep and recuperation” “They are a generation of change agents” “When you're not taking other people's inventory, there's a lot more space for you to take your own” More Elena www.womeninterestedinleavinglaw.com More Stacie www.staciespeaker.com

Stacie is excited to welcome Ellen Fields onto this episode of Communication Untangle. Ellen has over 30 years in Corporate America to draw from, first in the consumer healthcare industry, and now she's a communication executive. She started off wanting to make the world better, ad now she helps leaders communicate in a better way! In This Episode Growing within an industry as a woman, and an executive The power of perception Being yourself is important, but so are your goals. Things Ellen would say to her younger self Communicating during the interview process “In the early part of my career, gender wasn't as big of an issue” “I couldn't take that comment personally” “What is your goal, and what does it take for you to do that?” “What types of things do you want to be doing?” “It was delivered poorly, but he gave me excellent advice” More Ellen www.ellenfields.com More Stacie www.staciespeaker.com

Stacie Speaker is unbelievably thrilled to welcome Rick Sharpe to the show to discuss mental health, and how Men are being more outwardly communicative about their emotions and feelings. Rick has written an awesome book called The Price of Heartbreak. Rick is a man on a mission and he is here to help us raise awareness about emotional struggle and the importance of communication within that struggle. In This Episode Heartbreak, Patterns and how the book came to be Why men tend to avoid the deep emotional conversations. How men like to be received in conversation in order to open up more Why men will die on their white horse before risking a fall off of it Finding someone you would die for, and living for them. “I had to go places in my past in order to figure out why this was happening” “I had to look at myself in the mirror and say 'you're an idiot'” “When you lie to yourself, that's a huge betrayal” “If those open conversations take place, we actually enhance each other” More Rick www.rick-sharpe.com More Stacie www.staciespeaker.com

In this episode of Communication Untangled, Stacie is totally stoked to welcome her husband Raymond Lee to the show! Ray is a football coach, and he sees it as a way to help a great many people, and he finds enjoyment in a lot of aspects of it. Although he doesn't consider himself a master communicator, he enjoys the challenge and often finds that the hardest young people to get through to often create the biggest rewards in life. In This Episode Communicating with high school students to steer them in a productive and successful direction Ray explains that men do express their feelings, they're typically just not public about it Communication between men and women doesn't have to differ or be tougher than other types of communication How to create a positive team environment and foster a positive group relationship The challenges in communication between Ray and Stacie “You have to have a multi-pronged communication approach” “You have to spend a good amount of time getting to know the kids” “It's a misconception that men don't have those emotions flowing through them and express them” “Just find what their passion is and get them to relay that” “I think that's the key to anything is just knowing someone” “Some things take time to open up to” “The more we understand who we're communicating with, the better” More Stacie! www.staciespeaker.com

On this episode of Communication Untangled, Stacie Speaker welcomes Tiana Sanchez in a #1 best selling author on Amazon, as well as a corporate trainer who serves innovative companies throughout the U.S. Tiana also hosts an awesome podcast called Like A Real Boss. In This Episode Management at 17 years old, and learning the complexities of people. Why focusing on communication can mess things up for people One of the best things you can do when you find yourself in a new environment Navigating conflict, and how to deal with people who are frustrated or upset. What is an empathy statement, and why you may want to start using them. “People are complex and we are all uniquely different” “The best part of my career was developing others” “There's nothing soft about the soft skills” “If you don't have trust first, you're not going to communicate effectively” “Seek to understand, not seek to judge” To find out more about Tiana www.nolimit2yoursucess.com More Stacie www.staciespeaker.com

Stop. Communicate and Listen, Stacie's back with a brand new mission (admit it, you read that in the style of Vanilla Ice). But Seriously! Stacie is back and talking about the skill of active listening, and how it can improve your communication skills and help you have better conversations with the people in your life. In This Episode Objective Listening Subjective Listening Intuitive Listening How Sympathy and Empathy differ “It's unbelievably imperative that not only do we talk to each other, but we listen to each other” “You want to be genuinely interested” “You notice their tone of voice, you notice their body language” “You're empathizing with the person, you're putting yourself into their situation” “There's a difference between sympathy and empathy” “You have to listen because you don't know what that other person is experiencing” Courageous Conversations www.staciespeaker.com

In this episode of Communication Untangled, Stacie Speaker reunites with Alison Deutsch . Alison is a certified positive psychology practitioner and professional coach who has experienced the challenge of relocating with her young family 4 times over a period of 10 years both domestically and overseas. Stacie first welcomed Alison as a guest on Reignite Your Light, and is thrilled to speak with her again! In this episode Stress and how the body responds to it. The 3 Super Powers and how they keep you calm. The cuddle hormone, and hugging yourself. Shining light on the issue, and feeling powerful. Taking power away from yourself and subtle self sabotage. “That moment when you're up in front of the room, or the mic goes live... it's like a free fall” “The breath is a way of calming down that fear” “We all need a chance to breathe” Here is the link to Alison: http://www.alisondeutsch.com/ Here are the links to the Ted Talks we mention: https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend

Stacie is excited to welcome Michael O'Brien to the Communication Untangled Podcast. Michael helps sales and marketing leaders who are juggling it all slay the internal feelings of worry and doubt so they can accomplish complete success. In this episode: Comparison, and the “Do Have Be” way of life Life and Death From Victim to Victor Doing less in order to have better conversations Asking Why “If I got that new car, I'd be happy” “I caught happiness for a bit, but then it flew away, like any good vapor finish line” “I didn't have to put on the brave face anymore, but I was scared to death” “The conversation I was having with myself wasn't fueling me” “I want to be present with my family as opposed to just doing all the time” For Michael www.michaelobrienshift.com

Anastasia Netri is a coach and guide and has been for nearly a decade. She works with people who wish to live a self realized life awake and free. In this episode, Stacie and Anastasia: Discuss self-realization, what it feels like, and why it's so important. Personal and Professional conversations, and how Anastasia navigates them. Values and where they fit into personal and professional relationships “We form these identities and we don't know who we are” “Knowing who you are has everything to do with good communication” “This person I am as a coach doesn't really get turned off when I'm in relationships.” “How is it that they see the world from their point of view?” “What we value dictates how we see the world” www.anastasianetri.com More Stacie www.staciespeaker.com/communicationuntangled Communication Untangled Group

Stacie welcomes her podcast producer, Scott Doucet of Podcast Bay to the show to discuss the results of a quiz he took in order to determine his communication archetype! Scott leads a production team, and runs a community of podcasters and aspiring podcasters online, ans so communication is a massive part of his day to day. He wanted to learn more about his archetype, but more importantly, how he can communicate more easily with others. In this episode: Scott shares his Communication Archetype with Stacie He shares the challenges that come along with his communication style The role of empathy in communication Men and Women communicating with each other How Scott can communicate better with the people in his life Quotes “My archetype is almost counter-productive at times” “The phone is my nightmare” “Everybody has to have the willingness to put themselves in someone else's shoes” “Everyone needs their moment” “You don't understand. You don't get it” “You are just there to listen, and not fix” “Listening is not just letting someone speak” “You have to listen in order to be heard” “People leave bosses, people don't leave jobs” Take the Quiz! www.staciespeaker.com

Stacie welcomes back Luke Iorio!! Stacie interviewed Luke on her last Podcast, Reignite Your Light, and had a great time speaking with him. He's the President of IPEC, and hosts his own podcast as well! Stacie brings him back to the Communication Untangled podcast as a result of a post he posted on social media #notokay. He made a large point about how distorted our communication is, and how little we actually try to understand one another. Luke and Stacie talk about how to have those difficult conversations, or if opinions greatly differ: how do you stop it from turning into a shouting match? Luke shares various questions you can ask yourself during a conversation that can help you build a strong connection and great conversations. He gets excited over one of Stacie's question about how to teach children to listen in order for generational improvement. Luke gives great examples of things that parents can do to encourage empathy and understanding within our children. Luke also brings some profound insights around compassion and kindness, and the impacts they have on us neurologically. So much depth and intelligence, so many reasons to do the right thing and seek to understand one another. Quotes “We're not spending enough time really truly understanding the other” “it's the most connected and disconnected we've been” “What are the roots of happiness?” “The most important and under utilized aspect of communication is listening” “In many ways, teaching or relating some of this to children is so much easier than teaching adults” “How does it feel when you're truly accepted?” More Stacie www.staciespeaker.com/communicationuntangled Communication Untangled Group

In this episode, Stacie goes over the 4 Communication Archetypes that she's talked about on the last 4 episodes of the Communication Untangled podcast! Director Driven by the need to get things done, and the need to be in control Most comfortable in managing others and taking control Focused on results and achieving success They love autonomy and freedom Skip the small talk and give them the details Strategist Systematic people who enjoy problem solving They are very detail oriented Proud of great work and willing to jump in without extra coaxing. Be sensitive to their time and allow them to talk in great detail. Let them now if something isn't going to get done. Influencer Friendly an enthusiastic They thrive on compliments and acknowledgment They want work to be fun for everyone. They have a tendency to tease people They are very talkative and open about themselves. Connector Excellent listeners Friendly and approachable disposition Tend to strive for strong relationships Consistent and reliable once given responsibilities They require security and won't take big risks They can appear to be stubborn, but often just want the best for the team. Be patient and show sincere interest in them. Quotes “Communication is everything” More Stacie www.staciespeaker.com/communicationuntangled Communication Untangled Group

Stacie dives into the 4th communication archetype this week: The Connector. She explains why it's so crucial to understand the style of communicator you're dealing with, as well as the one that you are, in order to have smooth, effective conversations that leave you feeling great and getting results. She also summarizes the 3 types previously discussed on the show!~ If you missed out on them, go check out the last 3 episodes! Stacie describes the connector as being very open, and easy to relate to, as they are always striving to find that way to connect with the person they are speaking to. They tend to have a relaxed disposition, making them very relaxed, warm and approachable. A common fear among connectors is sudden change, they're not a fan of when things suddenly take a turn without time to prepare. They can appear stubborn, but that could be a result of wanting things to remain the same. They can also seem overly sensitive, because they want to ensure the boat doesn't get rocked. Connectors are amazing planners, being able to share responsibilities and being amazing at follow through gives them an edge in forming solid relationships. They don't readily give opinions, although that doesn't mean they don't have any, and they often know the most about how work is getting done. Quotes “Why is it that I can talk to some people better than others?” “The more prepared you are, the better” “You really can do an awesome service by connecting with them on a deeper level.” “They need things to be stable” “Social media has a way of sharing all the happy stuff” Links www.staciespeaker.com/communicationuntangled Communication Untangled Group

This week is week 3 of the Communication Archetypes series! Which means we'll be uncovering the talents and style of the Influencer today. We've already discussed the task oriented and fact driven Director's and Strategists, and Stacie summarizes what we've learn about them so far, but now it's time to take a walk on the social side and see what the Influencer is all about hand how they can make their biggest splash on the world. Stacie is actually an Influencer when it comers to being a communicator, so this one is a little near and dear to her heart. Some of their strengths include being great at breaking the ice and getting conversations started. They have a gift for persuasion and interacting with others. Influencers have very little trouble making connections with people, and actually crave it. Influencer have their weaknesses. They have a tendency to be impatient, and don't like to be kept waiting. They sometimes have an aversion to being alone, and prefer to have at least one other person around, if not a while group. They don't the longest attention span and can often be disorganized. How to connect with an Influencer: Encourage their gifts rather than stifle them. In a professional setting, be clear on who is going to do what, by when. You're going to want to show interest in their opinions and big ideas. Their goals are often about getting proper recognition and applause. They like being popular and fear losing that prestige. Quotes “This is the charmer of the group” “They really do thrive on admiration and acknowledgment” “How do you leave people?”

Stacie lifts the curtain and gives us a tiny peek into her life before Communication Untangles and coaching. She reveals that she grew up professionally in Hollywood, and got the chance to work on quite a few Television shows and movies. During that time, she was involved in, and witnessed, a ton of examples of good communications, and bad communication. She also recaps last week's archetype: The Director. Much like the director, the strategist is focused on tasks. They are logical and methodical in their thinking, as well as their approach. Often they let things simmer until the entire idea is planned out, before bringing it up at all. Strategists tend to enjoy communicating with people who want to hear details on how to get things done, and can sometimes require a lot of time before coming to a decision on some topics. If you do make plans with a strategist, be sure that they've got the date marked. Do the same. Also, they enjoy being recognized for their knowledge, help, or effort. A little acknowledgment can go along way. Stacie refers to men and women, and the differences they tend to exhibit in the world. She then goes on to talk about her relationship, and what living life married to a strategist is really like. She explains where it's helpful, and where she may clash with his meticulous nature a bit. Quotes “We can have the conversations that make us happy” “No problem really is too big to ponder” “Make good on your promises” Links ks Communication Untangled Group

This episode kicks off a 4 part series about the communication archetypes, and which category you fall into! She describes various communication issues that people can find themselves running into as a result of not knowing the archetypes of the people who surround them, and talks about how just being aware can shift these conversations to make them more meaningful, productive and effective. She also has a quiz you can take! Stacie references personality tests, and explains that communication archetypes are similar in a way to the personality tests, but there are also differences. She lists out the 4 major communication archetypes as The Director, Strategist, Influencer and Connector. While the Director and Strategist are more task oriented, the Influencer and Connectors of the world are relationship focused. She breaks down the Director for our listening pleasure. She begins by stating that Directors are often C.E.O's, and tend to live in the realm of fact. They like to get in, get the conversation over quickly, and get back to accomplishing things. She describes that they are very focused, and driven people, and can often come off as insensitive, or impatient. They like to make quick, calculated decisions and make things happen, and can get a lot accomplished in a short conversation. Some points to note when communicating with a Director: Be efficient, be brief, remain fact oriented and be willing to say “I don't know, but I'll find out”. Director's have very little time for tall tales or guesses. It's always good to lend yourself to their vision, and ask often how they'd like things to be, or what they need help with. When you need something from them: be upfront, and ask them directly. Quotes “You just have to recognize what drives people” “Be ready to provide solutions.” “Argue with facts, don't argue with feelings” Links Communication Untangled Group

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Communication Untangled! In this episode, Stacie is joined by Calvin Chen. Calvin is an executive life coach who specializes in emotional intelligence for high performance, leadership and happiness. His coaching is based on the same values he lives his life by: Love and truth, possibility and practicality. Stacie kicks off asking Calvin about his path to coaching Calvin explains that he started off pursuing a science degree, but ended up not wanting to continue, and being sold the entrepreneurial dream through a book. He began cold calling, and learning the skills he needed to thrive within the cold calling environment. He began cold calling for Tony Robbins, and within 7 months got the opportunity to sell coaching for Tony. Stacie asks a few questions about what had happened, and Calvin shares the exact moment that he talked his way into the position. Stacie congratulates Calvin on finding his calling at a young age, and Calvin shares his thought process surrounding age, learning and money. He also describes how he uses communication to build relationships with his clients, as well as find out where they are, what they're wanting, and to help them build relationships of their own. Calvin tells Stacie what he feels his role as a coach is, and how it's important to him to be able to give input in a way that is safe to the recipient. Stacie then Asks Calvin what he would do in a situation where the client were to get defensive or even argumentative. He explains that he would pause and listen, because people tend to get that way when they feel they're not being heard, and it's crucial to hear where the other person is coming from in order to move forward toward a positive result. He tells the story of the elephant and the blind men, and gives insights about the differences we all have in perspective. He says that he wishes more people would consider different people's perspectives in order to become better leaders, husbands, wives or even just better people. Stacie asks Calvin about communication within his marriage, and how he navigates difficult conversations, she also offers a piece of her own wisdom and shares that sometimes problems don't need to be solved, so much as listened to. Quotes “He said 'I'm not going to hire you, go work on something else' and I said no” “This is making the best use of all the BS I've been through in my life” “I'm definitely in my learning phase right now” “The communication is to achieve relationship and not just some sort of a transaction” “Direct communication is a very important component to coaching” “Let me see what you see” “If I'm not careful, I can get too in my head and too analytical” Link www.calvinvchen.com Stacie www.staciespeaker.com/communicationuntangled

Welcome back to Communication Untangled! On this episode Stacie greets Jessica Lorimer with open arms to discuss the topic of Sales, and how to have sales conversations more effectively. Jessica is a sales coach who helps clients sell with more ease an integrity, while adding revenue to their business each month without spending all of their time on FB. Jess describes her journey into sales as a result of enjoyment, rather than a purpose from birth. She got a job at a jewelry store at a young age and really enjoyed the journey of getting to know customers and building relationships while learning their taste. After school, she was headhunted into sales in the fashion industry and excelled in that field by building genuine connections with people and communicating in a way the built solid foundations with her customers, and realized that she could dominate the sale niche with ease. Jess talks about the lifetime value of a client or customer and tells the story of one of her clients, and the relationship they've developed. She also explains long term relationships and how they continuously benefit both parties through repeat business and referrals, rather than just a one and done sale. Stacie asks why Jess chose to work specifically with women. Jess loves the question, and laughs that in 3 years, no one has asked her that. She describes the issues women face when communicating their value to the outside world. She talks about women aren't taught to be in the spotlight, but rather nurturing others, and Jess wishes to change that dynamic in order to help female entrepreneurs state their value, sell themselves proudly and with confidence, and make the money they wish to make. Jess and Stacie talk about the difference between men and women and the ways that they communicate their issues, their objectives and their desires. Jess also talks about how much more personally women take rejection in a business environment, and how they take it as a personal affront to their own self worth, instead of considering that the other party might not be ready yet. Jess talks buyer psychology, and sales styles, and how 3 major types of sellers exist: Aspiration, Emotion, and Fear Of Missing Out. She briefly describes them, and how we as people fit all of them at different times. She also talks about Facebook, and shares the role it plays in building community and establishing a healthy business. Finally, Stacie asks Jess why she decided to start a podcast and why she continues to do so Jess explains that Podcasts are more intimate than other platforms she's used, and she feels like a podcast is equivalent to sitting down to tea with a friend. Quotes “It's about how you position the conversation, but also how you position the relationship” “You need to be very clear from the outset what the relationship is about” “The lifetime value of a customer isn't just one sale” “Wealthy women can change the world” “Women don't like confrontation” “Reputations take years to build and moments to crash” “A rise in tides lifts all boats” Links www.smartleaderssell.com Stacie www.staciespeaker.com/communicationuntangled

Alexa is a sex coach and a mentor on a mission to reform sex education and sexual expression across the globe. She was born in the deep south of Louisiana, and experienced an “abstinence only” style of sexual education growing up. After spending the majority of her adult life on aboard a cruise ship, and enduring a relationship that seemed perfect from the outside, but in reality was very disconnected, she decided to explore the world of sex, love and relationships. After meeting tons of people, having a lot of different experiences, and helping solve sexual disconnect within others, she found her life's purpose in her sex positive brand: The Violet Butterfly. Stacie talks about sex, and it's purpose being for reproduction, and Alexa is more than happy to debunk that myth. She shares various insights that show we as humans, have sex for pleasure, and that our connection to our sexuality is vital to our health and well being overall. She describes the relationship most people have with sex, and how we're taught not to prioritize it, or it's significance. Alexa and Stacie go on to discuss how to openly talk about sex and fantasies within your relationship in order to open up exploration in the bedroom and beyond. She shares ways to keep the sexy in the room while trying new things, and how to set up a fun and introduce new things into the bedroom without having the expectation that sex is going to happen. She goes on to describe sexual energy, and how play and flirtation can be just as exciting, and that sexual energy can manifest itself in many creative places as well. Alexa talks non verbal cues, and gives a few examples that you can use to set a sexy tone without using so much as a word, and how to tell is someone is giving off a sexual vibe. She explains how body language can play a huge part in attraction, and how both women and men use body language to show who they are attracted to, from their neck to their shoes. She also talks about the biological perspective where sex is concerned, and how everything from a woman's voice to a man's anatomy lends itself to the sexual nature of human kind. Stacie asks about boundaries, and how to set the framework in order to not only have boundaries, but have the other person respect them. Alexa clarifies that you need to have that conversation with yourself first of all. She tells a story about a time someone crossed a line and stepped beyond her boundaries by touching her without invitation, and how that was not okay within that particular situation. Had he checked in and found out where her boundaries were, things would have gone in a much better direction. Alexa shares an exercise called Want Will and Won't. She explains how the exercise works in order to express what you truly want, what you're okay with, and what you will not do. Quotes “To everyone on the outside looking in, it was literally the coolest life.” “When you question the box instead of yourself, then things shift and they change” “There's only one other species of primate that has sex almost as much as we do” “A big part of a human's life is their sexuality and their connection to self.” “We are built for sex” “Your views on your body and your sexuality: how were they shaped and who shaped them?” “It all comes down communication” “Once you get comfortable, you can't go back” Links www.thevioletbutterfly.com