Two Packs: Trading Card Comedy presented by Meltdown Comics

The series finale of Two Packs is a massive Pack Attack battle royale! Guest Asterios Kokkinos (Something Awful) and host Geoffrey Golden open packs of Zero Heroes and Pukeymon cards, then combine them to make a collectable card game. Who’s the more mighty urinator: Power Baby or Starpee? Will Burple get indigestion from eating the Great Gobbler? Which is uglier: Captain Ugly or the art on the Pukeymon cards? All these important questions might very well be answered on the puketabulous final...

Guest R. Sikoryak (Terms and Conditions graphic novel) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! On this special behind-the-cards episode, Geoffrey interviews Bob about his time at Topps in the 1980s writing gags for Garbage Pail Kids and Toxic High. They discuss how Garbage Pail Kids were made, the now famous indie cartoonists who all relied on Topps for a paycheck at the time, and Bob’s new use of illustrated parodies: to take on Trump. All this on this Adam...

Guest Jamie Loftus (Comedy Central) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of lawbreaking trading cards – Wanted By FBI (1993) and True Crime II (1992). While opening the packs, they discuss hot cigarette peddler Joe Doto, computer criminal “slash” murder attempter John Aleshe, and the love of Jamie’s life, Robert Durst. All this on this incarcerated episode of Two Packs presented by Meltdown Comics! Follow us on Twitter!...

Guest Danny Lacy (Crack-Duck) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of ooze-covered cards – Gruesome Greetings (1992) and TMNT 3 (1993). While opening the packs, they discuss why the best Pokemon were the trash Pokemon, how a pig’s butt can launch a woman into space, and why the Ninja Turtles looked more disgusting than usual in their third movie. All this on this gross-out episode of Two Packs presented by Meltdown Comics! Follow...

Guest Grant Pardee (Vice) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of sports-ish cards – American Gladiators (1991) and Comic Ball IV: Comic Bowl (1992). While opening the packs, they discuss how little they remembered about American Gladiators vs. how crazy it was, the perennial sadness of being a Buffalo Bills fan, and the cultural inevitability of Space Jam. All this on this tennis ball shooting episode of Two Packs presented by...

Guest Bennie Arthur (Drunk History) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of early 90s SNL cards – Saturday Night Live (1992) and Coneheads: The Movie (1993). While opening the packs, they discuss how America needs Stewart Smalley more than ever, the brilliant decision to make a Coneheads movie 16 years after the characters were popular, plus Bennie and Geoffrey bust out their flawless impressions of Keith Richards and Mick Jagger....

Guest Danielle Radford (Screen Junkies) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of early 90s superhero cards – X-Force (1991) and Plasm (1993). While opening the packs, they discuss casting Sabretooth in a production of Cats, whether “side abs” are a thing, and the ogling of alien dudes’ butts. All on this mechanical limbed episode of Two Packs presented by Meltdown Comics! Follow us on Twitter! @twopackspodcast @danielleradford...

Guest Julia Prescott (Cartoon Network) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of Fox TV cards – Sliders (1997) and Fox Kids Network (1995). While opening the packs, they discuss their high school moneymaking schemes, the worst part of Sliders (Kromaggs) and the best part of Sliders (episodes without Kromaggs), and how early 90s CG was a bad look for a beloved X-Man. All this on this dimension-hopping episode of Two Packs presented...

Guest Erin Mallory Long (Cracked) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of cool teen cards – Archie Comics Cards (1992) and Beverly Hills 90210 (1991). While opening the packs, they discuss how everyone in Riverdale is constantly ogling Veronica in her bikinis, how the male characters on 90210 are physically indistinguishable, and they try to solve the mystery of what’s up with Jughead. All this on the love triangle that is Two...

Guest Aaron Sparrow (Darkwing Duck Comics) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of looney, toony cards – MAD Magazine (1992) and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1987). While opening the packs, they discuss the versatility of the word “Booooiiiing!”, how to bring MAD Magazine into this century, and the drop-dead sexiness of shirtless Bob Hoskins. All on “the lighter side” of Two Packs presented by Meltdown Comics! Follow us on Twitter!...

Guest Ryan Sandoval (Amazon Studios) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of Urkel-riffic cards – LAFFS (1991) and Growing Pains (1988). While opening the packs, they discuss why so many sitcom characters get race horses, children so awful you want to punch them in the face, and how Perfect Strangers, Full House and Family Matters take place in the same shared universe. All on this heartwarming episode of Two Packs presented by...

Guest Stephen Perlstein (Cartoon Network’s Wabbit) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of disturbing high school cards – Grossville High (1986) and Toxic High School (1991). While opening the packs, they discuss the most effective ways to bribe a teacher, how Pretty Boy Roy does NOT live up to his nickname, and one trading card wins the yearbook award for “Most Racist.” All on this barely passing episode of Two Packs presented by...

Recorded LIVE at Los Angeles Comic Con 2016! From Anime to Zines, the Meltdown Podcast Network has a show for every type of geek and nerd out there. Join us as the Meltdown hosts collide in this one-of-a-kind geek podcast crossover. Hosted by Geoffrey Golden (Two Packs) and featuring Matt Kennedy (Pod Sequentialism), Mason Booker (Anime Attic), Aristotle Acevedo (It's Pronounced Zine), Natasha Chandel (Kinda Dating) and Dan Brozo (Battlecast). Follow us on Twitter! @twopackspodcast...

Guest Jenny Jaffe (Big Hero 6: The Series) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs’ all-holiday special! This week, they open packs of cards loosely themed around December holidays – Gremlins (1984) and Universal Party Monsters (1992). While opening the packs, they discuss the grossness of Gizmo’s screaming mouth, the sausage party that is the Universal Monsters, and the unspoken rule of Mogwai: poke air holes into their containers. All on this gift wrapped episode of Two Packs presented by...

Guest Hana Michels (Funny or Die) joins host Geoffrey Golden for a pre-historic episode of Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of dino cards – Disney’s Dinosaurs (1991) and Wacko-Saurs (1987). While opening the packs, they discuss Baby Dinosaur’s vacant/menacing expression, uncover absolute worst dinosaur jokes ever written, and they perform a rousing rendition of the Was Not Was classic “Walk the Dinosaur.” All on this T-Rex-cellent episode of Two Packs...

Guest Gail Golden (“Mrs. Claus” in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade) joins her son (!) Geoffrey Golden for an enchanted episode of Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of fairy tale cards – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1994) and The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996) trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss Pepe the Knockoff Cricket, the attempted murder of Snow White by the dwarfs, and actress Gail’s many roles, including Mrs. Claus, a...

Guest Joey Clift (The Nerdist) joins host Geoffrey Golden for a soapy episode of Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of ABC drama cards – All My Children (1991) and Lost (2006) trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss helicopter prison breaks, the paperwork involved in selling a child, and Geoffrey tries to remember anything about Lost. All on this episode of Two Packs presented by Meltdown Comics (and the Dharma Initiative)! Follow us on Twitter!...

Pack Attack is back baby, yeah! Guest Asterios Kokkinos (Something Awful) and host Geoffrey Golden open packs from the 24 and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me collectible card games, then make up and play a game combining both cards. Will Austin Powers be-have when teaming with Jack Bauer? Can Fat Bastard successfully put Terrorist Kal Penn into his belly? Will someone throw President Charles Logan a frickin’ bone? All these important questions will be answered on this shagadellic...

Guest Yehudi Mercado (Rocket Salvage) joins host Geoffrey Golden for a spooktacular episode of Two Packs, the trading card comedy show, just in time for the scariest day of the year... Election Day! Live at Los Angeles Comic-Con, they open packs of Fright Flicks (1988) and You Slay Me (1992) trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss whether it's PC to assume all ghouls drive hearses, Jeff Goldblum's grossest role, and whether Freddy Krueger would be a viable presidential...

Guest Brandon Bird (Astonishing World of Art) joins host Geoffrey Golden for an ape blasting episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of Sears Legends (2014) and Congo: the Movie (1995) trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss hippo attacks, Brandon’s cross-country journey immortalizing Sears stores, and the magical Kathleen Kennedy trading card portal. All on this softer sided episode of Two Packs a Week presented by Meltdown Comics!...