Mind the Gape

This week, Geep's and Reece's Land Cruiser is racing full throttle and ass naked through this bushy jungle safari of an episode. They spot giraffes, monkey(pox), and many other beautiful creators—of the Kama Sutra, of the night— in this absolutely feral—and potentially thematically insensitive—adventure.

It's getting HOT and Geep and Reec are starting to perspire—in the loins. From clubbing to fucking, from where to when, our hosts tackle everything in the sick and salty world of sweat. Grab your towels and deodorant because sweaty or not, here they come!

Geep and Reece are back and better than ever in this first episode of Mind the Gape's sophomore season! Amidst prostrating over their European dalliances and other excuses for Gape en absentia, the two dig their heels and honkers into manscaping and transcaping, hatfishing, bald rights, and all the hairy (or not-so-hairy) scuz between them. They know you've missed them and they've missed you, so tune in for the aural orgasm for which your three-month-long blue balls have been so eagerly edged.

There was a great opener for this little description but it seems I've... forgotten. Digging deep into the cramped quarters of their minds, Geep and Reece unearth forgotten tales and tails in this episode. Moving from the forgotten to forgetting, our hosts touch on namelessness, unshaven back hair, and moving on from an ex. Fried by weed and trauma, Geep and Reece are prone to forgetting; this episode, however, will be one to remember!

Pussies are red, balls are blue, if you're reading this, then Geep and Reece love you! Our hosts couldn't miss the opportunity to celebrate the holiday most germane to their content generation and have celebrated by talking all things sexy and intimate that fall under the arc of Cupid's bow. From middle school carnations to worst possible Valentine's gifts, Geep and Reece rehash trauma and trials alike in the hopes that they can help you ensure a Valentine's Day riddled with nothing but romance.

Splayed over the imagined chaise lounge of their phantasmagoric mid-century modern sex dens, Geep and Reece wax poetic about the most Arch Digest worthy sex they've had to date. From dapper to derelict, our hosts' design-inspired sex stories run the gamut of breeding on furniture and breedable furniture (in hindsight, they should have touched on the axiomatic childhood curiosity that is fucking your couch cushions). Find the sexiest seat around and keep your pants zipped—they don't want you cumming on the velour!

Ahoy, gapekeepers! Baked and bronzed after an unforeseen trip to Miami, Geep and Reece plunge deep into the mystic oceans of watersports and other splashy sexcapades to find out who has plundered the biggest booty. Water dries you out, lesbians are topical, and other paradoxes prevail in Mind the Gape's saltiest episode to date.

Though tardy to the party, Geep and Reece are nonetheless back with their predictions for what's in and what's out for 2022. Unlock your personal tech; toss your leather; yank it; keep your asshole one dilation from passé; and yank it. If you're not sure what any of this means, don't worry—we aren't, either. Listen away and see if you can help us figure it out (or... in)!

In 2021’s final episode of Mind the Gape, hosts Geep and Reece hold Best in Show, announcing their respective best-of’s across the Noah’s Arc of Cock. Winners for each breed lead up to our hosts’ big reveal has to who laid the best pipe in 2021 with Tracey recaps and psychotic side-stories interwoven along the way.

It's the most wonderful time to be queer—Geep's and Reece's Mind the Gape holiday special! It's giving season, that double entente broke their brains, and our hosts are shelling out advice about the best of dating and intimacy in Winter Wonderland. If you're in need of ideas—be they for how to fuck or how to give—this holiday season, look no further than our host's gift guide; should you wish to return their favor, Geep and Reece have had the audacity to actually write their own Holiday Hoe-down Wishlist.

Welcome to Gape LLC! We’re so excited to have you joining our team and can’t wait to onboard you onto our BIG FAT COCKS!!! First, our hosts Geep and Reece will begin with a training module on how to take dick in the office, leveraging their personal experience as empirical evidence. That will be followed by a brief seminar on The Office (the TV show), queerness in the workplace, and girlbossing before we break for lunch. Make sure to come prepared with plenty of supplies—you never know what our hosts will ask you to shove up your ass!

Inspired by a blown fuse in Geep's apartment this past week, literal sparks are flying in this episode as Geep and Reece discuss their most electric sexual encounters. Discussing shockers, electric nipple play, Geep's ex's bizarre fetishization of lightning, and much more, our hosts delve into stories about sexual proclivities and interpersonal mishaps that will keep your hairs on end!

Leaves are falling and holes are dilating here in NYC and Geep and Reece are celebrating with a salaciously seasonal episode. Tryptophan conspiracies, horny holiday escapades, and sexy autumnal date ideas fill this episode to the brim of this bobbing-for-apples tank (which is hot!). Dawn your coziest flannel and widest brim hat because Christian Girl Bautumn is upon us.

Did a gapekeeper call 9-1-1? Because hosts Geep and Reece are heading straight to the ER in this saucily clinical episode. Are we supposed to be fucking ugly people? Is sex with a hospital patient ethical? Would you walk away with a prescription pad from a rendezvous with a sexy ER doc if he offered it to you? The sirens of the philosophical ambulance are blaring as our hosts rip their way through the comedy and cunilingus of these pressing medical ethical queries in this installment of Mind the Gape.

This episode was so scary it took Geep and Reece several days to upload it. In celebration of Halloween, the two gabbed about some of their spookiest sexual encounters. Ghosts haunt the halls and holes... vampires suck our blood and balls... creatures and cunts of the night beware because this episode is so gruesome (seriously, they talk about fucking dead people) that it may just haunt you for the rest of your life.

Shhhhhhhh!!! Keep quiet, as this is Geep's and Reece's most secretive episode yet. Talking cheating, voyeurism, heist play, and more, our hosts hash out if (and how) spying and secrets should make their way into the bedroom. They're still working on a James Bondage/0069 joke for y'all.

Following a hiatus all but predictable in today's emotional and motivational economy of austerity, Geep and Reece are finally back with a long, saucy update and everything gassy: Be it interpersonal gaslighting, farting induced by weird aerial shots of orgasm from within some queer's asshole, or the way our friends should (or shouldn't) gas us up, the metaphysical and literal gasses endemic to romantic and sexual relationships dominate this week's episode of Mind the Gape.

Geep and Reece turn to the stars to answer their biggest questions: What is the meaning of life? Will I ever know true love? Is there a critical number of dick-downs at which prostate cancer is all but guaranteed? Talking about typecasting, our hosts explore how personality identifiers like Meyers-Briggs and Grindr tags do and do not help us understand one another and the intimacies these can or cannot build.

Perennially shocked by the ways in which gay men manage to aesthetically debase themselves in the Great Wide Web of Porn, Geep and Reece felt it was time to reflect on screentime—and not the kind your iPhone tracks with insidious and unsolicited precision (the goal is to read others, not themselves). Turning from twinks to TV and arcades to the arctic circle, our hosts' attempt at topicality is spliced with insinuations about how life on the big screen bleeds into life everywhere else.

Much like sexuality or desire, this episode was less a choice than an unfortunate reality: Dragged to the second layer by the devils raging within them, our hosts don't just grapple with heterosexuality and its intransigence in their otherwise super-queer lives. From Clinton Hill to Murray Hill, Geep and Reece grapple with the spatial, interpersonal, and sexual geographies of breeders in an effort at commentary and catharsis alike.