The Sweeper - A World Football Podcast

Having just visited Malta and witnessed an historic weekend of football, Lee tells Paul all about the key events in Europe’s only island micro-state in Part 1. Who came out on top in the title-decider between Ħamrun Spartans & Floriana? Why do Valletta hold a funeral parade through the streets when they win the league? How has the island reacted to the capital club’s first relegation? And what is it like to accidentally get caught up in a bus parade? Part 2 is dedicated to three big stories on three different continents: Africa, Europe & South America. Two teams think they have won the Republic Youth League in Egypt – but why? Who was allegedly behind the poisoning of Sochi’s players before their recent game against Akhmat Grozny in Russia? And what unique tribute did Brazilians Cariri pay to their owner after gaining promotion to the Campeanato Cearense Série A last week? Tune in to The Sweeper to find out the answers – and join us on Patreon at patreon.com/SweeperPod for a bonus segment as we answer some big questions from across Europe. Which is the only top-30 UEFA nation to have rejected VAR? What was the unlikely resting place for a shot in the third tier of French football? And did a former Port Vale player really get a pilot’s license just to mock his old club’s relegation? RUNNING ORDER: 00:00 - Intro 00:51 - Ħamrun Spartans vs. Floriana live 10:05 - Promoted Melita's bus parade 11:34 - Valletta’s first-ever relegation 15:31 - Football on Gozo & Comino 20:11 - Title confusion in Egypt’s Youth League 29:27 - An alleged poisoning in Chechnya 34:22 - A funeral home tribute in Brazil

Part 1 is all about Africa, where a kit controversy has escalated into a geopolitical dispute between Algeria & Morocco ahead of the CAF Confederations Cup semi-final between USM Alger & RS Berkane. Elsewhere on the continent, Rising FC from Rodrigues Island in the Indian Ocean have made the long voyage to mainland Mauritius to take part in the cup, winning their last-32 tie! It's back to Europe - or at least, UEFA - in Part 2 as Paul & Lee discuss the 'Isolation Derby' between SKA Khabarovsk & Yenisay Krasnoyarsk in the Russian second division and look at some of the lower-league clubs on track for cup success - including Transylvanian outfit Corvinul, who have made it to next month's final against Oțelul Galați with an all-Romanian squad. On the bonus segment, there's talk of Harry Redknapp & Romario returning from retirement, a look at some goal-laden games in the ninth tiers of Italian and English football & the story of a Polish goalkeeper presented with a Zimmer frame as a birthday present by his Portuguese club. To listen to that, simply join us over at patreon.com/sweeperpod. RUNNING ORDER: 00:00 - Intro 00:59 - Algerian airport anger 09:12 - Russ Cook's Africa run 10:52 - From Rodrigues Island to Mauritius 18:32 - The 'Isolation Derby' in Russia 21:12 - The Niue Island listener 23:11 - Corvinul & other second-tier cup runs 30:10 - Champions League fallen giants

The latest Sweeper starts off in windy Wales with our visit to the game between Llantwit Major & Enfield Town in the Fenix Trophy and a wider look at the tournament regarded as the Champions League of non league. Then we're off to Scandinavia for some goalkeeper heroics, cupsets & geographical extremes, before finishing Part 1 in little Liechtenstein, where FC Vaduz will likely set a world record next month. With Bayer Leverkusen having claimed the first league title in their 120-year history, Part 2 is dedicated to seven other European clubs gunning for their first-ever title and the longest ongoing title-winning streaks across the continent now that Bayern Munich's 11-year stranglehold on the Bundesliga is over. Finally, we look at the Moldovan Clasico, where two twins recently scored for opposing teams, and read some listener e-mails. To win a unique Llantwit Major shirt and get access to the bonus segment of this podcast, where we chat about a Japanese side rising rapidly through the ranks, an unusual Portuguese on-pitch protest, an English team playing two games in two days and a truly bizarre Man of the Match award in the USA, join us at patreon.com/sweeperpod. We are entirely self-funded and your support makes a huge difference. RUNNING ORDER: 00:00 - Intro 01:11 - A Fenix Trophy game in windy Wales 10:38 - Nonsense in the Nordic nations 17:13 - Liechtenstein's ludicrously quirky cup 23:15 - Potential first-time champs across Europe 31:00 - The longest ongoing title-winning runs 37:48 - Listener e-mails

This episode of The Sweeper begins with a focus on South American domestic cup competitions. We hear about the Juan Fernández Islands – 670km off the coast of Chile – taking part in the Copa Chile as a special invitee and the unusual journey opponents Santiago Wanderers must take to reach them. Up next is Ecuador’s non-existent cup competition and the story of a team called Bonita Banana ('Beautiful Banana'), followed by some terrible pitches and hideously named players in Peru. With Sudan’s Al-Hilal set to join the Tanzanian Premier League to escape the conflict in their homeland, we look at teams playing in other country’s football leagues in Part 2, including the likes of Liechtenstein's FC Vaduz and their uniquely tough path to the Champions League. Finally, we have an update on The Sweeper’s competition in conjunction with Icarus, which will send one lucky fan to Bhutan to watch Thimphu City in action. To hear the bonus segment of this podcast, Sweeper Xtra, which is an extended Q&A session with Lee Wingate and Paul Watson touching on their best and worst football experiences, culinary treats, animal encounters and aspirations for the future, join us at patreon.com/sweeperpod. RUNNING ORDER: 00:00 - Intro 01:20 - The Juan Fernández Islands in the Copa Chile 09:00 - The non-existent Copa Ecuador 12:36 - Horrendous pitches & player names in Peru 20:04 - Al-Hilal of Sudan to play in Tanzania 23:43 - Clubs playing in leagues of other countries 33:19 - Update on the Bhutan competition by Icarus

First up on this episode of The Sweeper, we delve deeper into North Korea’s mysterious cancellation of their World Cup qualifier against Japan and look back at memorable moments in the hermit kingdom’s football history. Then we’re off to Georgia to hear about the nation’s maiden qualification for a major tournament, before we chat through Austria's Rangnick resurgence as they shape up to be EURO 2024 dark horses. After the break it’s time to show some love for groundhoppers and to hear some amazing stories from our patrons in pursuit of the joy of ticking off new stadiums. Then we announce an exciting new competition from Thimphu City and shirt manufacturer Icarus that will see someone win a trip of a lifetime to Bhutan, plus there's a San Marino shirt giveaway too! To hear the bonus segment of this podcast where we chat about Estonia’s U21 side playing a friendly against the wrong team, a Romanian player who was sacked for turning up to training drunk and then appointed sporting director, and a Bosnian giant in decline, join us at patreon.com/sweeperpod. RUNNING ORDER: 00:00 Intro 01:15 North Korea's mysterious no-show 08:33 Georgia's EURO jubilation 11:57 Austria's Rangnick resurgence 16:22 Glorious groundhoppers 33:25 Thimphu City/Icarus competition 38:29 San Marino shirt giveaway Browse the Icarus website: icarusfc.com Read the Thimphu City-Icarus competition details: icarusfc.com/pages/thimphu-city-sweepstakes

Fresh from his trip to San Marino, Paul reflects on the attempt by FIFA’s lowest ranked country to break a 20-year winless streak against Saint Kitts & Nevis, before Lee rounds up the other international news - from the Basque Country's draw with Uruguay to the 'End of the Alphabet Derby - and Producer Tom chips in with a live report as Austria break an all-time record. After the break, we hop on over to the USA to hear about New York City vs. Toronto at Yankee Stadium - there are few fixtures that could have been more Sweeper than two clubs from different countries meeting in a league match at a baseball stadium - and dissect some of the madness of the US Open Cup, including burrito-based heroics and a rare case of lacrosse stopping play. To hear the bonus segment of this podcast with the ex-Shanghai Shenhua president banging in goals in the Chinese cup aged 58, arguably the most disastrous debut in football history and the Channel Island of Alderney trying to break their 104-year losing run, join us over at patreon.com/sweeperpod. RUNNING ORDER 00:00 - Intro 01:05 - San Marino's double-header with St. Kitts 15:17 - International round-up 16:39 - The fastest-ever international goal 21:39 - New York City FC vs. Toronto FC 29:47 - US Open Cup madness 33:20 - Patreon episode teaser Ellis Platten's Away Days video in San Marino: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56buY8H9Bd0&t=445s&ab_channel=AwayDays

This episode of The Sweeper begins by looking at the Virgin Derby between the British Virgin Islands and U.S. Virgin Islands in 2026 World Cup qualification. Meanwhile, a non-FIFA team, the Basque Country face Uruguay and may harbour UEFA aspirations. The Danish Superligaen strikes a huge blow to the European Super League, which might now be forced to rebrand, a Romanian coach returns to the same club for a 10th spell int the dugout and we play a Sweeper version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? RUNNING ORDER 00:00 - Intro 01:15 - The Virgin Derby 10:36 - Basque Country v Uruguay 17:17 - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 28:30 - Danish Superliga strikes a blow 33:57 - Coach in Romania returns for 10th time 40:04 - Preview of upcoming Sweeper trips

The latest episode of The Sweeper kicks off with a tour of Oceania and the incredible story of two French journalists with an American (Samoan) Dream, before moving on to Pacific neighbours Micronesia & Nauru and their new coaches. David Johnson & Charlie Pomroy, who both partly credit the pod for their appointments, have sent us voice notes from their respective islands. Sticking with the island theme but moving back over to Europe, Part 2 starts in the Scilly Isles: the British archipelago is famed for having the smallest league in the world, but rarely is the title race as close as it is this season. In Sweden, meanwhile, a group of Ultras have managed to smuggle a kayak into a cup tie - but it's by no means the strangest item ever to end up in the stands at a football match… To hear the bonus segment of this podcast about Africa’s hottest derbies, chaos in Cambodian football and a player on the run from his club in the Dominican Republic, join us at patreon.com/sweeperpod. Sign up before Wednesday 20 March to enter our competition for the Pago Pago Youth shirt courtesy of Stingz ProWear! RUNNING ORDER: 00:00 - Intro 00:56 - The American (Samoan) Dream 10:12 - Pago Youth shirt giveaway 12:50 - Micronesia's new coach David Johnson 18:40 - Nauru's new boss Charlie Pomroy 25:25 - The Scilly Isles showdown 31:22 - Smuggled kayaks in Sweden 37:10 - Old Boys vs. Young Boys 38:52 - Bonus segment teaser Videos Swedish kayak video: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1b65lc2/daniel_kristoffersson_aik_supporters_somehow_got/ Italian moped video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_Nu6HKVSmk&ab_channel=RuthlessReviews

On this episode of The Sweeper, we discuss our trip to Prague along with Patreon competition winner Joe McTaggart to watch the derby between Slavia and Sparta in the Czech Cup and enjoy a 24-hour whirlwind of Ultra-brewed beer, pyro and tifos. VAR controversies have rocked Croatia, where the head of referees Bruno Maric has resigned, derbies both real and mock have excited Argentina and there’s a strange case in Mongolia of a club who changed identity halfway through the season. To hear the bonus segment of this podcast about a derby in Lithuania dubbed ‘El Logistico’ and take a trip around the world to find clubs who have either been living up to or failing to live up to their names, join us at patreon.com/sweeperpod. RUNNING ORDER 00:00 - Intro 00:52 - The Prague Derby 17:25 - A word from our competition winner 21:35 - Match-worn Slavia shirt giveaway 23:04 - Argentina's mock derby in the park 29:08 - A VAR scandal in Croatia 33:52 - A mid-season takeover in Mongolia Apologies for the expletives in this episode: we chose to include them as they were actual restaurant and football club names! We have marked the episode as 'Explicit content' accordingly.

The Premier League and the rest of Europe’s top five divisions totally dominate the football headlines, but have you ever wondered what other interesting news and stories the rest of European football and world football have to offer? If so, The Sweeper is the football podcast for you! On this episode, Turkish footballer Emirhan Delibaş is sacked by his club Beşiktaş for his profile on the dating app Bumble and Irishman Dylan Connolly receives a Facebook invitation to play in the OFC Champions League preliminary round in Tonga, where he meets the Queen at church. Elsewhere, the draw for this summer’s CONIFA World Football Cup in Kurdistan – a tournament for unrecognised nations, states and peoples – has thrown up some interesting groups and the Seychelles have mysteriously been ruled out of AFCON 2025 ahead of the start of qualifying in March. To hear the bonus segment of this podcast all about our live experience at the 342nd Vienna Derby, the octogenarian Italian superfan who went viral and the Uzbek club that could soon be put out of business by former player Rivaldo, join us at patreon.com/sweeperpod. RUNNING ORDER: 00:00 - Intro 01:24 - Beşiktaş dismiss Emirhan Delibaş for Bumble profile 04:55 - Funny footballer sackings 08:15 - Dylan Connolly invited to play in OFC Champions League via Facebook 13:10 - Round-up of the preliminary round action in Tonga 16:35 - The draw for the CONIFA World Football Cup in Kurdistan 24:22 - Eritrea & Seychelles already out of AFCON 2025 27:28 - Paul accused of butchering the Icelandic language 28:50 - Football groundhop recommendations across Europe 32:24 - Bonus pod teaser

We kick off the podcast by announcing the news that we have moved to a shorter weekly format with a longer third segment available to patrons only. Then we’re straight to the familiar backdrop of San Marino and lowest ranked national football team in the world’s loss of two goalkeepers in two days. We then analyse San Marino’s chances of breaking their 20-year winless run in 2024 – as they have a double-header against St. Kitts and Nevis and Nations League clashes with Liechtenstein and Gibraltar on the horizon – before turning our attentions to the new FIFA Series tournaments that will pit teams from different confederations against each other in March, throwing up some unusual and mouth-watering clashes. In Part Two we hear about a Football Manager addict who has been put in charge of fourth-tier Icelandic club, KV. This leads onto a debate about whether a video game simulation can ever translate into a successful real-life coaching career, a chat about our own areas of expertise and a look at managers who didn’t have a playing background. We then examine another club in free-fall, Omija Ardija in Japan, and their potential solution to their situation: becoming part of the Red Bull stable. We finish off with a chat about the pros and cons of multi-club ownership and give the listeners a chance to win some excellent football books and magazines. RUNNING ORDER Part 1: Podcast format change, San Marino’s goalie crisis, the 2024/25 Nations League draw & the brand-new FIFA series (00:52) Part 2: The Football Manager nerd-turned-coach in Iceland, the 10,000-hour rule & Red Bull’s interest in Omija Ardija in Japan (16:34) ‘Wings of Change’ by Karan Tejwani: https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Karan-Tejwani/dp/1785317296 ‘Copa Club’ by Nathan Joyes: https://www.thecopaclub.co.uk/ ‘Up Pohnpei’ by Paul Watson: https://www.amazon.com/Up-Pohnpei-Captain-Paul-Watson/dp/1846685028

Part 1 of this Sweeper podcast kicks off with an alternative look at the transfer window and Arturo Vidal’s dramatic helicopter & horseback unveiling at Colo Colo, before moving onto some of the best, worst & oddest transfer announcements in history. Continuing the transfer theme, we hear about a strange signing by Vilaverdense in Portugal's second tier and then go to Italy for the bizarre story of a young player who stole a team-mate’s car and got caught up in a high-speed police chase! We then finish off with some memorable soundbites and antics from players past & present – including, of course, Mario Balotelli. In Part 2, we're off to some British overseas territories. We first speak to Louis Jones of mystery football shirt company Surprise Shirts about his involvement with Anguillan outfit Uprising FC and hear about his recent trip to the Caribbean island, where he even made an appearance for the team. We then move on to Gibraltar and club team Hound Dogs’ unique status in UEFA's smallest member state, before taking a look at the English influences that have shaped the histories of clubs on the Rock. The final segment starts with an update on Mongolian footballer Ochiroo Batbold, who is cycling from his home in Ulaanbaatar to Old Trafford and has now reached Austria. We then talk about Schalke, a once great side in Germany now teetering dangerously on the brink of disaster in the second tier and get insight from German YouTuber Fiago on where things have gone wrong. There are details of a very special prize on offer to one lucky Sweeper patron, before we round off the episode with a typically eclectic selection of listener emails. RUNNING ORDER: Part 1: Unique transfer announcements, celebrity signings and high-speed car chases (00:44) Part 2: An amazing Anguillan adventure and Gibraltar's last remaining amateur club (16:43) Part 3: Ochiroo's odyssey, a German giant in decline and a cool Czech competition (33:44) Join us on Patreon at patreon.com/sweeperpod.

The opening segment of this Sweeper episode is all about our first trip of 2024 - to the Portuguese island of Madeira, where we took in the derby between local teams Marítimo and Nacional. We also delve a little bit deeper into the unique football culture on the island with the help of some supporters and try to answer the big question that has been on our minds since the end of last season in Portugal's Primeira Liga: why are there no island clubs in the top flight for the first time since 1984/85? Part 2 is all about the wonderful world of AFCON. First up, Cape Verde’s miraculous start to the tournament comes under the microscope and we speak to defender Roberto Lopes, who was recruited to play for the nation via LinkedIn. There are other unlikely recruits at AFCON for Tanzania, who have five non-league UK players whose stories we explore. We also chat about Tanzania’s mid-tournament coach sacking and the near-disaster that took place on the Gambia's flight to the host nation. Finally, in Part 3, the conversation turns to Ivan Perisic’s €1-a-month contract at his boyhood club Hajduk Split and other bizarre football contract clauses. We then look at the trials and tribulations of Charlie Pomroy, the British coach of Cambodian crisis club Angkor City FC who had a weekend to forget. The pod is then rounded off with a look at the world’s most southerly game of football between HMS Protector and research staff at Rothera in Antarctica. RUNNING ORDER: Part 1: The Funchal derby, the absence of island clubs from Portugal's top flight & Madeiran football culture (00:43) Part 2: Stories from AFCON: Cape Verde's LinkedIn recruit, Tanzanian turbulence & Gambia's near disaster (16:49) Part 3: Ivan Perisic's €1 wages, the Cambodian club in crisis and the world's southernmost football match (36:51)

The first Sweeper episode of 2024 kicks off with some Azerbaijan anecdotes in Part 1. We discuss Adrian Mutu’s harsh sacking and some tasty treats from Turan Tovuz. From Mutu we switch to another ex-Premier League player in Pascal Chimbonda and his antics in charge of ninth-tier English side Skelmersdale. Finally, we talk about the Vatican City where registration is open for the league season in the world’s smallest country - but not just anyone can take part. In Part 2 we go remote and delve into the story of Nauru’s newly launched Football Association trying to bring the beautiful game to one of the last countries on Earth without a football team. Relative neighbours, Federated States of Micronesia are trying to fund a match in 2024 by selling football shirts and we explain how you can get hold of one and how some lucky Sweeper patrons can win one. We then stay remote as we look at Anders Hofman, the star of Project Iceman who completed an Ironman-style triathlon in Antarctica, and his next crazy quest to try and play for Denmark at the 2026 World Cup. Part 3 is all about cup competitions. We investigate the new Livonian League - a pre-season winter tournament for teams from Latvia and Estonia. Then we look at how underdogs have fared in the Copa del Rey, Coupe de France and FA Cup, plus we hear the greatest herring-related football story of all time. You can download the Momento app for free on iOS or Android via the link below and follow us @SweeperPod: ⁠acmomento.onelink.me/ckkf/SweeperPod RUNNING ORDER: Part 1: Cakes and coach sackings in Azerbaijan, the English club both top and bottom & the Vatican's player requirements (00:43) Part 2: Football's final frontier in Nauru and Micronesia & the Iceman of Antarctica targeting World Cup 2026 (18:28) Part 3: The Livonian League, Arandina's shirt request, herring-based goal bonuses in France & our trip to Madeira (36:21)

The final Sweeper episode of 2023 starts off with a look at continental competitions across the world in Part 1. We talk about the CONCACAF Champions Cup with its incredible away trips and interesting array of clubs – from Lionel Messi’s Inter Miami to Robinhood of Suriname, who have won a Caribbean double this year – and the AFC Champions League, where Ventforet Kofu of Japan have sensationally become the first second-division club to ever reach the knockout stages. Part 2 kicks off with a chat about Welsh club Pontypridd United’s unprecedented 141-point deduction and the heaviest punishments in football history, before taking a look at Ajax’s historic elimination from the KNVB Cup at the hands of fourth-tier amateurs Hercules. Finally, we finish off the segment by talking about the biggest cupsets we have seen personally – Bristol City for Paul & FC Vaduz for Lee – and our brilliant sponsor Momento. You can download the Momento app for free via the link below and follow us @SweeperPod. It’s all about winter weather in Part 3. The first item on the agenda is Greenland’s traditional New Year’s Eve football match, which is played in temperatures of -15 degrees, followed by the unique story of FC Santa Claus, the Christmas-themed club based in Lapland whose motto is ‘Don’t stop believing’. Finally, there’s yet another mention for Sicilians Trapani and a thank-you message from the team to all the lovely listeners and patrons who have joined the Sweeper party since we relaunched the podcast in early 2023. Download Momento for free on iOS and Android: ⁠acmomento.onelink.me/ckkf/SweeperPod RUNNING ORDER: Part 1: The CONCACAF Champions Cup, Robinhood’s Caribbean double & Ventforet Kofu’s run to the knockouts (00:40) Part 2: Pontypridd United’s 141-point deduction, a Herculean effort against Ajax & our biggest cupsets (17:29) Part 3: Greenland’s New Year’s Eve football match, the Christmas-themed club in Lapland & some windy weather in Sicily (36:07)

Download Momento: acmomento.onelink.me/ckkf/SweeperPod Once we found out that the draw for the Belgian Cup quarter-finals was conducted using a former footballer and an arcade claw machine, there was nowhere else we were going to start this episode. But domestic cup competitions across Europe have produced plenty of other notable stories over the past fortnight too, including another Bundesliga scalp for third-tier Saarbrücken in the DFB-Pokal, Copa del Rey elimination at the hands of fourth-division sides for Almería and Cadíz, and some unlikely Coupe de France victories for Caribbean clubs. And there’s also some love for our brand-new sponsor Momento to round off Part 1. Part 2 begins in Costa Rica, where the women’s team claimed an unlikely 19-0 victory over St. Kitts & Nevis to beat Haiti to qualification for the Gold Cup, before moving onto Monday night’s controversial incident in Türkiye, where a brutal assault on referee Halil Umut Meler by the Ankaragücü president Faruk Koca has led to all football in the country being suspended indefinitely. We then turn our attentions to Saudi Arabia, where an unfortunate defender gave away one of the weirdest penalties you will ever see when he tried to high-five his goalkeeper but ended up touching the ball instead. Finally, in Part 3, we discuss a team in Turkmenistan that won the league but probably shouldn’t have and a Brazilian club that probably should have won the championship but did not. That’s right: it’s the stories of Arkadag, the team newly founded by former dictator Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov that have won the title without dropping a point in their debut season, and Botafogo, who have completed one of the most spectacular bottle jobs in football history to throw away what would have been their first Serie A title since 1995. There’s also a mention for Pele, our Patreon and some of the stupidest Guinness world records in existence. RUNNING ORDER: Part 1: The Croky Cup arcade claw draw, Rod Stewart’s legendary Scottish Cup cameo and Caribbean success stories in the Coupe de France (00:48) Part 2: Goals galore for the Costa Rican women, a Turkish football meltdown in the Süper Lig and the weirdest penalty of all time in Saudi Arabia (17:18) Part 3: The brand-new club from a brand-new city, Turkmenistan’s bizarre world records and Botafogo’s spectacular bottle job (35:18) The Croky Cup arcade claw draw: www.youtube.com/live/KAbc8zn_BqI?si=gDtsalyNRrnpSkUR John Oliver on Turkmenistan: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9QYu8LtH2E&t=1088s

With overseas territories from all over the world taking part, the Coupe de France is one of the world’s most intriguing domestic football competitions. But who funds it? How do they decide who plays home and away? And could an overseas side play in a UEFA competition if they won the tournament. In Part 1, co-hosts Lee Wingate and Paul Watson answer all the key questions about the French Cup and reflect on their recent journey to the sleepy rural town of Saint-Mesmin to watch sixth-tier Saint-Méziéry play host to Tahitian cup winners AS Pirae in the seventh round of the tournament. Next up in Part 2: the world’s most isolated clubs! There’s a mention for Rapa Nui FC of Easter Island, who hosted the mighty Colo Colo in a 2009 Chilean Cup clash, Khabarovsk, who travel around 100,000km per season to fulfil their away fixtures in the Russian second tier, and Perth Glory, who cut an isolated figure in the Australian A-League. That’s followed by the remarkable story of Papua New Guinea’s exit from the Pacific Games and a look back at some other harsh tournament eliminations, including the coin toss at EURO 1968 and the madness of the 1994 Caribbean Cup, where goals briefly counted double! In the third and final segment, it’s time for a round-up of the remaining stories. Erling Haaland paid for 200 fans of his first club, Bryne, to travel to Kristiansand for a play-off match, only for the Start groundsman to fail to turn on the undersoil heating and the game to be cancelled. There’s cucumber throwing and so much more besides at the Mascot Olympics in Spain, which was won by Valencia’s representative Amunt the Bat. And finally, two Tiktokers have bought and relocated Latvian second-division club Leevon Saldus with the aim of getting them promoted to the Virslīga. We hope you enjoy the show! *Correction: AS Pirae qualified for the 2023/24 Coupe de France by winning the Coupe de Polynésie. RUNNING ORDER: Part 1: The magic & madness of the Coupe de France and our trip to watch Saint Méziéry vs. AS Pirae of Tahiti in the seventh round (00:47) Part 2: The world's most isolated clubs and Papua New Guinea's incredibly harsh elimination from the Pacific Games (22:27) Part 3: The undersoil heating fiasco in Norway, the Mascot Olympics in Spain & the Latvian club bought by Tiktokers (44:12)

The Nordic nations served up tension, drama and excitement in abundance at the weekend as several titles were decided by the narrowest of margins. The Swedish men’s and women’s titles came down to goal difference, as did a bonkers goal-laden battle for promotion in the Norwegian third tier. That got co-hosts Lee Wingate and Paul Watson racking their brains about the closest title races in history in Part 1, with England, Azerbaijan and Austria all getting a mention. As do Sexy Pants, who have unfortunately been relegated in Finland! There is a venture outside of Europe in Part 2 as Paul talks in-depth about the Te Runga Games, a quadrennial sports competition held in Kiribati – one of the most remote places in the world. There’s also a word for Afghanistan, whose new coach Ashley Westwood faces a full-scale rebellion before the World Cup qualifier against Qatar, and Eritrea, who have pulled out of the tournament entirely because the country’s authoritarian regime deems the players to be a flight risk. And finally there’s a listener email from Ian, who was treated like a royal on a football trip to Tajikistan. It is back to Europe in Part 3 as Lee pays a visit to Austrian club Blau-Weiss Linz, whose former player Raphael Dwamena sadly passed away after collapsing during a match in Albania on Saturday. That story is followed by the news of the penalty shootout that took place in North Ireland between Coleraine and Ballymena, and is the third-longest in football history. To finish off, we talk about our upcoming trip to Paris to watch Tahitian champions AS Pirae take on sixth-tier Saint Meziery in the Coupe de France at the weekend. RUNNING ORDER: Part 1: Frantic finales in the Nordic nations, the closest title races of all time & a roundup of the remaining Scandinavian football headlines (00:44) Part 2: The Te Runga Games in Kiribati, Eritrea’s withdrawal from World Cup qualification and Ashley Westwood’s mutiny in Afghanistan (17:48) Part 3: Completing the Austrian Bundesliga’s 12 stadia, the third-longest penalty shootout ever & a preview of our Coupe de France trip (35:36)

KÍ Klaksvík have been the European football story of the season since they became the first club from the Faroe Islands to reach the group stages of a UEFA competition. But they didn’t stop there and have since followed up a draw at home to 2021 Ligue 1 winners Lille with a famous victory over Olimpija Ljubljana. Daniel Storey, the chief football writer at the i and a regular panelist on The Totally Football Show, was in the Faroes to witness the historic moment and joins us in Part 1 to tell us about his trip and reflect on the KÍ Klaksvík miracle. Part 2 kicks off with a chat about domestic cups across the continent: Balzers have an all-Vaduz cup run in Liechtenstein, Jeanfield Swifts record the biggest Scottish Cup win for a non-league team since 1896, Trencin are knocked out of the Slovak Cup by a fifth-division team and seventh-tier Deportivo Murcia are preparing for their Copa del Rey tie with La Liga side Alaves. The segment concludes with Lee telling Paul all about his trip to Czechia at the weekend to watch the team that recently lost 9-5 and re-living the awful birthday he spent at a concrete factory in Ostrava. The third and final segment of the podcast is dedicated to some stories beyond Europe’s borders: a Tongan team has completed a perfect season with two 62-year-olds in their ranks, a 27-year-old former bricklayer has led an Ecuadorian team from the third division to the top flight and two fans of Thai second-division side Suphanburi FC recently made the 850km journey to Krabi to watch their team play. Last but not least, we read out some e-mails from listeners who have tuned into the pod from multiple different countries around the world. RUNNING ORDER: Part 1 - The KÍ Klaksvík miracle & the rise of Faroese football with Daniel Storey (00:39) Part 2 - Quirks and cupsets, a trip to Czechia to see the team that lost 9-5 & a terrible birthday surprise (24:39) Part 3 - A perfect season in Tonga, two away fans in Thailand & a 27-year-old coach in Ecuador (42:04)

With another week packed full of international action in Europe, Asia and beyond, plus a selection of splendid club football stories and some superb listener emails, co-hosts Lee Wingate and Paul Watson once again had plenty of niche football talking points to dig their teeth into on the latest episode of the Sweeper Podcast. And that was before San Marino sent Football Twitter into meltdown by scoring their first competitive goal in more than two years against 18th-ranked Denmark, forcing the pod team to do an emergency 'The world's worst team just scored a goal!' segment to insert at the start of the show. The early Asian World Cup qualifying action is the starting point in Part 2. Paul tells us all about Guam, the first country to be eliminated from 2026 World Cup qualifying, Curtis Davies’ unlikely debut for Sierra Leone at the ripe old age of 38 and Otis Khan’s struggles to prove his Pakistani heritage to the powers-that-be. Lee then chips in with some headlines from the European continent, including the Polish squad getting stuck in the Faroe Islands, some bizarre records set by Georgia and Croatia, and Thailand’s improbable stop at McDonald's on their journey to Estonia. It's all about club football in Part 3 and there was only one place to start: Norway, where YMCA club and waffle impostors KFUM are on the cusp of an historic promotion to the Eliteserien, the country’s top flight. That’s followed by a chat about Deportivo Murcia, the first seventh-tier club to win a Copa del Rey tie in the competition’s 120-year history and also a contender for the unwanted prize of the worst badge in football. Plus, we read out some lovely listener emails sent from far-flung countries and territories across the globe, such as Hong Kong, Gibraltar and Myanmar. RUNNING ORDER: Part 1 - Emergency 'San Marino scored a goal' section (00:48) Part 2 - Full international round-up: First World Cup eliminations, Afghanistan's coaching chaos & Thailand's trip to McDonald's (10:14) Part 3 - Club stories & emails: The Norwegian YMCA fairytale, Deportivo Murcia's Copa del Rey magic & messages from far-flung lands (33:47)