SoL-Mates: Love and MST3K

Boy, oh boy - do we have some grievances for this episode. Host segments: Devori feels this all too much; Jason is now on notice; the unique theology of The Mad Monster; living our lives one beef at a time; Alpo for Algernon; Kevin Murphy can GET IT; Dave's not here, man; this is now a Battle of Blythe Road podcast; wolf serum's street name; don't go in swamps. That's it. That's the podcast.

Is this a classic? We forget. Host segments: Un-Madison my posse; the no-necked monsters hate will continue until morale improves; squaring stuff with cancel culture; ah, yes - a "musical"; WHO IS YOUR AUDIENCE, MOVIE?; excuse us while we bring up the second Armenian diaspora; we're trying to help you out, movie; work with us movie.

What world do we live in when we actually enjoyed The Human Duplicators? Host segments: MiMi wants some upgrades; Devori, once again, was not super-observant or attentive; thinking you cracked the code at the high school reunion; confusing when you use "dupe" in the correct context in the 60s; I made a shaggy a**hole!; we discuss the easiest ways to kidnap humans - take notes; Devori's Time Travel Wish; a simpler time when Lonesome Dove ruined your month.

Try as we could, we couldn't hop over this one successfully. Host segments: Jeff unlocks a new roleplay; flooding the basement; it's just poop; you can't think your way through Rainbow Road; apparently, Battleship is a good film; did Mojo Nixon cry and quit?; Joe's betrayal; will Pete Cambpell get to move offices?.

We're starting off 2026 with Jeff being terrible. As usual. Host segments: having to work at the Chicken Shack; a lesson for amateur filmmakers; we can't care more than the director does; Winterbeast is better, sadly; we've all had drunken nights like this, right?; Joe is not a fan of pranks - even George Clooney's; can Things be improved?

We're revisiting an old favorite in a new format, and we, too, were surprised by the results. Trigger warning: Phil is back. CW: discussion of slurs Host segments: How is it LONGER?; trash crafts return; let's talk about racism, kids!; trying to figure out the socio-economic criticism inherent in Santa Claus and failing; who do I have to bribe to get a Djarum around here?; LSD doesn't fix everything, just most things; Benoit Blanc vs. Pitch.

This minisode, we're reviewing two very similar films - 2009's family drama Everybody's FIne, and Sabrina Carpenter's searing exploration of how horniness can impact the holidays. You might be surprised which one we enjoyed more.

We're still trying to figure out what exactly was "unearthly" here. Host segments: Joe has a real future on OnlyCalves; Joe's sleep-smoochin'; remembering Hooligans; "the less dead;" WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE A DOCTOR ON THIS PODCAST?; how does something so short feel so long?; turning this thing into the Spiderman meme.

The sex-pestery in this film knows no bounds. Keep your hands to yourself, people! Host segments: horny men are the bane of other planets now; Why monster? It's none of our business; RIP Penelope; Jeff's nipple-bud moratorium; boob blindness; when there's more science in Nude on the Moon; Joe gets real.

We're celebrating someone's birthday with something they never asked for, so happy birthday to Alan Jordan, we guess? Host segments: Devori is the cheese, and the cheese stands alone; Hawk is not committed to the bit; Palance-ing all over the place; if not uncle, why uncle-shaped?; the illustrious role of "woman,"; Jeff needs to write down what he watches; Clockwork Orange-ed by the Swamp of Sadness; #AshIsABetterHawk; winsome nums.

We're getting mildly spooky around here with Paranormal Activity! Host segments: Phil won't let us leave; Gen X childhood film trauma; this is a Micah hate podcast now; the entire Paranormal Activity extended universe; Micah's one good point; we declared Katie Featherstone should be a bigger artist; even the demon thinks Katie can do better; our first theatrical horrors; crafty girls; humoring your partner is critical; babe - you're just being too sensitive.

It's almost spoopy time, so you know what that means? It's time for the Spoopy Movie Swap! This year, we're talking about The Final Terror (1983) and The Ritual (2017).

Joe's requested this one for his birthday, so we are here, doing it all for Joe. Host segments: Hogwarts is arugably sh*ttier; Ron's whole vibe; resigning over werewolf allegations; the Pettigrew Plot Hole; evil vs. slimy; your annual Killdozer reminder; Hogwarts CC annex; just keep reading The Silmarillion.

In case your Vitamin Puppet is low this week. Host segments: is MiMi dead or committed to the bit?; Hugo, we hardly knew ye; Devori has bog witch plans; Three-chez; Vorelli knows how to control the options; add Shania Twain to the apology tour; Pehl and Nelson-tier petty; Jeff's late 90s trouble.

When you're wishing you could watch The Sidehackers instead, you know you've gone wrong somewhere. Host segments: Más Funner; Roberty Denby strikes again!; gotta have a woody to crime; it's hip to be square; the lost works of Wang Chung; a brief (and stupid) history of biker gang films; smoochin' pay deduction; one of us!

Apologies to the president of Acapulco. Host segments: the most harmless pervert; ladies who luch; Meet the Mayor; you got Buffy in our Batwoman; fixing the Kinga-Dome; M'hael the fundraiser; the worst collage ever; Reptilicus callback.

So many bat facts. Much wow. The movie, not so much. Host segments: we stopped using those things for a reason; so much midcentury; committing to the bit; a life sketch; the Leonard Cohen of the apocalypse; Jeff's punishment hutch; Joe tests the statute of limitations on cheating confessions; the Sol-Mates have feelings about math classes; host segment world-building; some are not compelled by Pipe Dreams; Devori changes Jeff's world; just Manos it.

We're back to our regular, boring, non-Twilight programming. Boo. But the big take-away is that it's 10:00 PM - do you know where your corpses are? Host segments: toot/Tud/tut-triple threat; just want people to be silky-smooth; Elizabeth Bathory buzzkills; you juiced her, you bought her; are coffins built for comfort?; these glands are drastically under-used; the Hays code and Hirohito did this.

Devori does a war crime against Jeff and makes him watch what surely is the worst film ever watched on this pod. Host segments: existential dread not found; Taylor Lautner is wasted in this one; dying by misadventure vs. murder-bear; it's just shirts and skins; the Twilight to T. Swizzle pipeline.

It's the second part of our Independence Day Rifftrax sandwich - and man, can we talk about Jaws a lot. Host segment: Biffo and the Squeeze; cut the big naturals; Quint's trauma; showing instead of telling; once again, Devori is begging you to watch Duel (1971); the strange history of The Lady of the Dunes; sharks do be biting us sometimes; dissecting a breakfast burrito.