2 Idiots And Another Idiot

Lucas and Danny talk about the new business model of porn, rich people (Lucas thinks they're all evil), Danny's classically inept comment to a curvy comic ("you're interestingly proportioned"), and more. Lucas can't name a single thing he'd buy if he won the lottery (OK, fine he eventually names "a cool shoe") and then claims the lottery is fake. We go over Lucas' recovery story. Then Lucas' tells a story about him bouldering in Wyoming - and recounting the tale in front of an audience of...

Danny's girlfriend wants to buy a house. Lucas advises a safer investment: heroin. Danny's dad's bizarrely nuanced and weird opinions get mentioned a lot including his classic opinion that gay marriage should consist of all the same rights but just not be called marriage. Lucas describes a documentary saw about an artist whose name he can't remember. They discuss how long Larry The Cable Guy can say, "Get 'Er Done" in a row. Danny talks about the limits of human attention. Kevin got in an...

These dummies all sound alike. Danny, Lucas, and Kevin talk talent acts (spoiler: they have none), nukes (very political!), and the lowest form of comedy (podcasting). Plus: have you ever wanted financial advice from three people who think La Croix is “fancy shmancy?” Well, that and more is all bottled up inside this podcast episode that at least one girlfriend has described as “certainly a disappointment.”

Danny reminisces for the days of CD player faceplates. The gang briefly explores how to have a successful financial future with the power of mortgages. They wonder about a world where Kevin and Lucas actually have jobs - what would they do? Probably just fail differently LMAO. Danny says the "E word" and learns that he needs to stop. Kevin ordered "HelloFresh" and he ruined his meal. After, they get into a distended and extended "serfs" bit. This fades into a bit that frankly, i really enjoy...

Danny tells the gang that he has a 95-year-old aunt that looks 75. You'll never guess why. Kevin and Lucas get sensitive when Danny starts saying he's not clear on why anyone would want to be a gay top. They role play Danny having his first gay encounter. After they talk about porn comments. It only gets awkward at a few parts because this episode is edited.

Lucas establishes himself as an excellent reader. We learn from Danny's awful complaint-driven personality that nitrogen and CO2 aren't the same thing. Lucas devises the world's greatest merit-based Patreon donation system: PAY THE FUNNIEST PERSON. Danny objectifies a woman, and lands a fun Hooters Williamsburg joke that's gonna pay off on his personal Patreon. Lucas mentions animals, believe it or not. And Kevin does a lot of groaning and advocating for those in the service industry.

This pod starts off with Danny getting mad that Kevin and Lucas were funny before the mics got turned on and then he does a bit where he pretends that K&L be f*ckin'. It's a big day for Danny, who shows off the pretentious cinematic taste he picked up at the prestigious Arizona State University of Arizona, finds out what gaslighting is for the first time, and substitutes yelling for jokes upwards of 8 times! Plus, he ends up reading the entire embarrassing email he sent Kevin, begging him to...

After Kevin quit comedy for a month (which Danny took personally), the gang reconvenes to bash each other relentlessly. After an unfortunate tangent into the nature of suicide, Kevin comes out as a “spitter,” one who unintentionally committed assault via saliva but days prior on a man turning a corner in a stairwell. They discuss the solo killer - who even kills one person? It’s zero or all-in! Danny admits he’s in a bad mood bc he didn’t get to masturbate before the show. We take a brief...

Kevin left the pod so that left Lucas and me, Danny, with one choice: play the hits. It's all here folks: girls love BIG cars, wiping with trash, and me being a sociopath at Trader Joe's. We thank everyone who found it in their hearts and apps to listen. The pod will be delisted at some point in the future, namely when I get tired of paying for it LOL. Hope you enjoyed the ride into the abyss. Intro music by Brandon Weinberger.

Lucas discusses his best idea yet: losing an arm as a gimmick for comedy. After poorly explaining why he is hobbling around, we spend an ungodly amount of time discussing Lucas’s pain which is in his foot, everyone. You heard it here first. After we try and figure out what a “suicide girl” is and no one really knows. Lucas confesses he watches animated pornography and then we lose all momentum so he starts singing. It's ok, after one of the worst episodes we've ever recorded, we wrap up on a...

Kevin is a hot pile of garbage and didn't write this description on time so that means Danny is doing it. Hello, listeners! After I make several hilarious jokes involving the characters on Rice Crispy boxes, we decide to explore why Lucas and I are friends. The answer: no one knows. We all know why we're friends with Kevin though, it's because he has an amazing laugh. Seriously, that's why Lucas and I brought him on board. Then we argue about people who use GoFundMe to fund their comedy...

F-Bomb. It's January. It's cold. And the only thing that's good in the world is listening to Lucas rave about just how much he loves Paddington Bear (specifically his Paddington 2 appearance). A strange internet query has Danny's inbox full of Filipino-based Quora questions and, sidenote, Kevin sure has gotten snide in the New Year! Also, btw, if you're the piece of garbage that trolled all of Lucas' shows on Facebook, please listen! You got a big ol' shoutout and also legit look in your...

Well, after a much-needed weeklong hiatus that, let’s be honest, should’ve just been a permanent halt to this thing, the boys are back in town being hacks per usual talking about old sayings and doing inaccurate impressions. Danny thinks all anthropologists are Irish, Kevin makes some sick money off of an Aflack plug, and Lucas thinks the Rainforest Cafe spins (Most likely because he was high last time he went as a young man). Anyway, there are some really terrible accents on this one (fuck,...

Danny likes Trump. Danny likes Trump. Everybody revolt, Danny likes Trump! After some nice historical riffs on the Greeks that were LITTERED with inaccuracies and Lucas walking by us through the plot of “Babe.” Danny says he’d be friends with Trump!!! Da f*ck??! Don’t worry - Kevin and Lucas take him to task and make fun of Hitler (hot unique comedy) in the process. Also, stay tuned for a big reveal from Danny about his grandfather that’ll make you be all like, oh man, c’mon dude, no wonder...

Latina Danny Vega is a year older now and got very nervous about his birthday like a little baby. Haha. Anyway - this is a shitty half an hour of three cis dudes complaining about other cis dudes who spend all their time bragging about how they’re tolerant rather than just, you know, being tolerant. That’s not to say we’re “woke,” but we’re very nice and trying our best! ALSO: If you listen to the whole pod you can even hear the three of us absolutely butcher the close! Very unprofessional!...

Danny ruined a holiday, Lucas had an old man touch his little toesies, and Kevin tells it like is! Just another week in Idiotville. Lucas watched Danny destroy Thanksgiving without even trying to make a turkey. Kevin went to his brother's apartment and felt like he was in a scripted conversation. Danny seriously considered having a lady touch his pee pee. Also, we go on a tangent about POLITICS and FAMILIES and CUBA. DUN DUN DUN. Oh, also, hahahaha - Lucas bombed. Don't listen to this. Plz....

Well, it's a big friggin' week en la vida Vega. Not only did Danny install a soundboard he has no idea how to operate, but he also walked out on his therapist because he felt like he wasn't being 'heard.' Tune in next week to hear Kevin and Lucas ignore DV until he leaves the pod forever! Danny and Lucas argue about how to spend the holidays together (awwww), but Danny f*cked it up and now their marital issues are on full display. How cool is it to have a podcast that broadcasts a divorce...

This trio of numbnuts gets all confused led trying to remember the story of Goldilocks (a feminist ICON) and don't worry Lucas reveals another entry from his book of "bits he shouldn't do." The boys dive deeper into Luke's mind than ever before and then he and Kevin bully Danny for being a freak who doesn't even use mind-altering prescription narcotics on a daily basis. Throw in a couple overdone voices and some terrible restaurant recommendations, and technically this qualifies as a...

Oh boy, this is just what everyone's been looking for: health advice from Kevin and Danny. A fat fuck and a Gollum impersonator, that's who should be telling you how to maintain your body. The Heart Attack Grill gets a fun little plug, bullying restaurants get discussed, and Danny reveals how he treats waitstaffs (not well). Also, these idiots pitch a new CSPAN-themed show for CBS and we argue and analyze an HBO show that's funnier than anything these losers will say, write, or do in their...

Oh, no. Not this shit again. Kevin, Lucas, and Danny argue about the home states they spent their whole lives trying to escape and it's just as tedious as you'd imagine. Idiotville, much? Lucas sets up the podcast's most successful cloud-themed bit (spoiler: it's still not successful). Then these doofuses talk one-athlete sports and ants. Also, Danny likes tennis. Hahaha. What a nerd. He also reads. Lol. Okay, don't listen.