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Fanimorphs: The Dork-Bajir Chronicles

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Live from the Gardens: The Escape

2/19/2018
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This week on Live from the Gardens we talk parrots and hammerhead sharks, the two morphs from Animorphs #15: The Escape! We talk electroreception, parrot marriage, and lots more on this very special episode. What makes it special? Well, there’s been a change to the rules that’ll be sure to keep you on your toes. What change is that, you ask? I’ll never tell! Hypothetical Question of the Week: which animal would you rather be if turning into that animal meant you had to marry the other host...

Duration:00:42:24

Animorphs #15: The Escape

2/12/2018
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The Fanimorphs are at it again, this time with another book by our good good comedy boy: Marco! This week, our wonderful hosts discuss Animorphs #15: The Escape, the one where they have to fight off cyborg sharks! Get ready for a full breakdown of what the hell Ax’s tail is made of, Tessa’s newfound vampirism, and, finally, another Visser Three Morph Minute! For those wondering: yes, Tessa is now fully a vampire and can’t walk through the threshold of a home without being invited.

Duration:00:42:33

Live from the Gardens: The Unknown

2/5/2018
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We’re back with more animal trivia and friendly rivalries in this week’s Live from the Gardens as we discuss the osprey and the horse, the two main morphs from Animorphs #14, the book we read last week (the one with the Andalite toilet). If you’re into backwards talons, closing your nostrils on command, and the intricate and ancient details of a horse culture that predates that of humankind, you’re in the right place! We are ready, willing, and neiiiiighble to tickle your funnybone this...

Duration:00:47:42

Animorphs #14: The Unknown

1/29/2018
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This week the Fanimorphs dig their teeth into Animorphs #14: The Unknown, the one where they infiltrate a secret military base and find an Andalite toilet! If you’re in the mood for poop jokes and us talking over each other, you’re in for a treat! We talk morphing betting rings, how Tessa gets offended for horses, and whether or not horses can give themselves abortions. Strap in!

Duration:00:44:04

The Hork-Bajir Chronicles

1/22/2018
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Jump into an alien invasion this week on Fanimorphs: The Dork-Bajir Chronicles when we talk about The Hork-Bajir Chronicles! We talk everything from Visser Three’s relatability to Dak Hamee’s eight-pack abs to Hork-Bajir teeth. Join us for our first pre-Animorphs adventure! We’re also joined this week by our friend Andrew, curator and memelord of Vissermeme fame! You can find more of his stuff on Tumblr at vissermeme.tumblr.com, on Twitter as @visserfuckin3, and on Instagram as @yeerkfilth.

Duration:01:01:26

Live from the Gardens: The Change

1/15/2018
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We’re once again joined by a gaggle of moths for our Live from the Gardens about Animorphs #13: The Change! He brings the smart as we go over some trivia about raccoons and settle in for a pleasant listening experience as the moths read us a story about the rainforest and what it might be like for Hork-Bajir on their planet. Get ready for some deep dives into raccoon facts like why do raccoons wash their food? How can they climb down trees headfirst? Why are they so damn cute? All this...

Duration:00:32:57

Animorphs #13: The Change

1/8/2018
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We’re joined this week by a genuine character: moths! That’s right, a bunch of moths chime in this week for our discussion of Animorphs #13: The Change, the Tobias book where he gets his morphing powers back! We talk about just about everything this episode, from deep-seated gender role metaphors to Hork-Bajir genitalia to all sort of other delicious tidbits. Mikael tries to ship Rachel and Marco again and everyone hates him for it, as usual. You can find the aforementioned moths on...

Duration:00:45:57

Live from the Gardens: The Reaction

1/1/2018
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We talk crocs and llamas in this week’s Live from the Gardens about Animorphs #12: The Reaction! Get ready for trivia on topics like crocodile wrestling, the softness of llama fur, and what the deal is with llamas spitting all the time. Hypothetical Question of the Week: Which of these two animals would you rather have as your dad?

Duration:00:45:20

Animorphs #12: The Reaction

12/18/2017
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This week we’re talking DNA burps in Animorphs #12: The Reaction, the one where Rachel acquires a croc and saves a kid at the zoo, Harambe-style, then is so allergic to it that she has to barf it out through her back. More importantly, we find out that Jeremy Jason McCole is joining The Sharing! Even more important than that: MARCO MORPHS A LLAMA AND IS AMAZING. Listen in as we marvel at Marco’s amazingness and discuss possible puberty theories. As usual, Brayden and Tessa pile on Mikael...

Duration:00:46:41

Live from the Gardens: The First Journey

12/10/2017
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This week on Live from the Gardens we change things up a bit and play a game of Choose Your Own Trivia! Brayden and Tessa compete in a rapid fire showdown to see who knows the most about the huge variety of animals that show up in Alternamorphs #1: The First Journey, the book we talked about last week. Rivalries flare as we talk bone-chomping, businesses of ferrets, and so much more! Hypothetical Question of the Week: if the Fanimorphs were part of the Animorphs gang, what would their...

Duration:00:43:22

Alternamorphs #1: The First Journey

12/4/2017
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This week we, your esteemed sources of Animorphs discourse, talk about Alternamorphs #1: The First Journey, the first of the Choose Your Own Adventure Animorph books! Our Host and our Newbie both only got one chance to make it through the adventure and, big surprise, they died almost immediately, although Brayden did do some good giraffe kicks before he lost. This book is terrible and Mikael makes it clear that he hates it.

Duration:00:38:45

Live from the Gardens: The Forgotten

11/26/2017
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The Fanimorphs talk spider monkeys and jaguars in this episode of LIve from the Gardens about Animorphs #11: The Forgotten! Monkey genitalia, jaguar spots, and so much more await you on this wild and eye-opening trivia quiz show about the morphs from last week’s book. Also, some surprising facts about monkey thumbs and what makes a black panther black.

Duration:00:39:21

Animorphs #11: The Forgotten

11/18/2017
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We talk jungles and time-warp conundrums in this episode of the Dork-Bajir Chronicles about Animorphs #11: The Forgotten! Ever wondered if Ax would make an attractive monkey? What about if he was paying attention in class when they were talking about plot-critical time-rip mechanics? Ever wondered whether or not there was an Animorphs book in the series that LITERALLY MADE NO DIFFERENCE TO THE PLOT? You’ve come to the right place!

Duration:00:44:07

Live from the Gardens: The Android

11/12/2017
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In this confrontational episode of Live from the Gardens, we talk wolf spiders and bats, the two main morphs from Animorphs #10: The Android. Why do spider eyes shine in the dark? What do bats leave behind after they mate? Who would win in a fight between a spider and a bat (this one gets heated)? The answer to these and many more questions can be found on this week’s episode of Live from the Gardens!

Duration:00:41:57

Animorphs #10: The Android

11/4/2017
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The Fanimorphs are back at it with this week’s discussion of Animorphs #10: The Android, the one where they find out about the Chee for the first time and almost die...again. Get ready for an intellectual take on Marco’s dad, Brayden and Tessa’s origin story, and what it would like when Erek kills a whole bunch of Yeerk warriors in under thirty seconds. Brayden and Mikael annoy Tessa, as per usual. Also, Marco got a haircut.

Duration:00:46:08

Bloopers Part 1

10/28/2017
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Ever wondered which parts of Fanimorphs: The Dork-Bajir Chronicles could be so bad that even WE thought it should be cut from the episode? Well, you’re about to find out! This week we talk pizza pockets, wiping a dog’s bum, and logical fallacies intrinsic to Applegate’s basic science-fiction premises. Also, which Animorphs correspond to which Friend from the hit 90s television series, Friends.

Duration:00:36:16

Animorphs #9: The Secret

10/21/2017
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We’re finally back for a deep, deep dive into another Cassie book: Animorphs #9: The Secret. We talk termite queens, Spiderman versus Batman, and some high-tension Cassie/Jake interactions. Brayden tries to argue that K.A. Applegate was referencing “I Have No Mouth But I Must Scream”...AGAIN. NOTE: Mikael’s audio was lost for this episode so we hired an out-of-work English actor to read his lines for him.

Duration:00:34:06

Live from the Gardens: The Alien

10/8/2017
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In this very special episode of Live from the Gardens, the Fanimorphs talk about rattlesnakes and human beings, the two main morphs from Animorphs #8: The Alien. Did you know not every rattlesnake bite is venomous? Did you know human beings have less bones as adults than they do as babies? Can you name the various ways humans display mating prowess and availability? Find out the answer to these questions and more on this week’s episode of Live from the Gardens!

Duration:00:44:39

Animorphs #8: The Alien

10/1/2017
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Finally, an Ax book! We dive into Animorphs #8: The Alien and find out just what is so fantastic about the cinnamon bun-zah. Get ready for a hot take on Ax’s honor rituals, his relationships with the “real” Animorphs, and his strange desire to eat anything and everything. Also, the answer to the burning question: how do Andalites eat? Warning: the answer is very stupid.

Duration:00:43:20

Live from the Gardens: The Andalite's Gift

9/24/2017
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We are joined once again by Adam Heap in our never-ending quest to quiz everyone about every animal fact under the sun! Since Megamorphs is so prolific with its morphs, we decided to talk about them all in our brand new mega-quiz, mega-showdown format! Lucky us, Adam works in an actual zoo and went to school for animal-learning, so we’re sure to be shown up. You can find more of Adam on Twitter (@AHeapOfGames), Youtube (AHeapOfGames), and, of course, on the Animorphs Discord chat. If you’d...

Duration:00:48:55

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