How To Cope - with Becky Howard + Lucy Clyde

Just over a year ago, the pandemic felt like a scary new reality that we didn’t want to confront. Now, as we face the prospect of returning to our pre-Covid lives, we’re faced with the bizarre situation of feeling apprehensive about living free of restrictions. Why is this so hard on our mental health? In this episode of How To Cope, we look back at a year of doing the podcast, and how things have changed SO much. We also explore why we’re feeling strange right now, living in the ‘soup of uncertainty’ and why so many of us aren’t feeling that excited about restrictions finally lifting. We talk about how the pandemic has messed with our sense of time, and how we can start to come to terms with what we’ve all been through. This will be our last episode for a little while – thank you SO much for listening so far! 🎧💚 How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As a bestselling author of psychological thrillers He Said/She Said, The Poison Tree and her latest book Watch Her Fall, Erin Kelly had had 20 years of experience in working from home when lockdown hit. But that doesn’t mean it was a straightforward journey: she had to radically adjust her writing life to look after her two children, start homeschooling and also finish her latest novel. Through this challenging time, Erin’s learned a good few things about herself – not least that she was suffering with clinical depression during the first lockdown. She shares her mental health story, how she actually found things harder after the crisis period passed, and how ultimately, the pandemic might have helped her mental health in the long run. We also chat to Erin about how the pandemic has affected our relationships with our children, what positive aspects she’s been able to take from it, and how lockdown meant she was able to glean better, more honest insights from ballet dancers when researching her latest betseller. Erin’s latest book Watch Her Fall is available now: https://www.waterstones.com/book/watch-her-fall/erin-kelly/9781529377293 How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music has always been Simon Raymonde’s life. As a member of seminal band Cocteau Twins during the 80s and 90s, and latterly as the head of Bella Union record label – which looks after artists including Tim Burgess, Fleet Foxes, John Grant and Father John Misty – going to gigs, travelling, and releasing music was everything. But thanks to the Covid-19 shutdown, he’s had to change everything – and through it, has discovered a new way to live his life. We chat to Simon about leaving London for the South coast, the impact of lockdown on him and his artists, and how he sought solace during Lockdown 1 by working on his new Lost Horizons album. But it wasn’t until the start of this year that Simon made some radical changes to his life, afforded by Lockdown 3. Realising he had reached a fork in the road when it came to his own health and wellbeing, he embarked on a totally new approach, and has found the results life-changing. We talk to Simon about how the pandemic provided him with this epiphany, why he feels he’s now a better husband and father, and how he feels about a post-Covid future. We also share some love about his artist Tim Burgess’ Twitter Listening Parties, and why they’ve proved such a hit during Covid times. The new Lost Horizons album In Quiet Moments is out now In Quiet Moments | Lost Horizons losthorizonsband.bandcamp.com › album › in-quiet-m... How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. 🎧💚 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With lockdowns easing, why are many of us feeling worried and fearful about the future, rather than all skipping happily down the road(map)? In this episode, we explore the ways in which we’ve become Covid Conditioned – falling (a little bit) in love with the safety and containment of lockdown life when the world outside has become very risky indeed. We also talk about the unwelcome return of FOMO, and how lockdown has actually given many of us breathing space from the oppressive social pressures of our previous lives – how we can make sure this doesn’t come back again? It’s also all about the collective trauma of living through a global pandemic, and we share some helpful tips about working our way out of this (clue: it’s not all about doing it on your own – and it’s also not our fault we feel like this….) How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. 💚 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Jake Tyler found himself contemplating suicide, his mental health was at rock bottom. He took an unconventional approach to helping himself, and started an epic walk around the entirety of the UK, becoming an accidental campaigner for mental health along the way. Now Jake’s written a book about his experiences – A Walk From The Wild Edge – which details his journey in brilliantly relatable, moving and funny prose. Having moved from a place where he dealt with his life stresses with drink and drugs, he now knows how to truly help his own mental state and why walking is at the heart of this. Jake talks to us about how he coped in lockdown, how he feels about ‘cracking himself open’ through the book, and what people’s reactions might be. We also chat about the moment of epiphany he had that set him on his journey and how we’re still a long way from shedding the shame, and achieving true openness around mental health. Thanks so much to Jake for joining us. His book A Walk From The Wild Edge, is out now: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Walk-Wild-Edge-Jake-Tyler/dp/024140116X How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For author Neema Shah, going into lockdown gave her the chance to embrace living in an introvert’s world. Although often mistaken for an extrovert (like both of us at How To Cope), she found the enforced quiet gave her more energy, allowed her writing to thrive, and discovered it as a form of mindfulness. But it wasn’t all plain sailing. Neema had to come to terms with releasing her heralded debut novel Kololo Hill during a pandemic, and moving all her celebrations onto social media. She talks about coming to terms with a digital launch, and how she manages to get the most out of social media by not letting it dominate her time. We also chat to Neema about what she misses about normal life, how speaking different languages changes your personality, and her top tip for dealing with Covid stress. Kololo Hill is out now: https://www.waterstones.com/book/kololo-hill/neema-shah/9781529030501 How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For those of us with children in the house, being a parent in lockdown can feel like slogging our way through a very dark tunnel. With energy levels much lower than before, and schooling expectations much higher, it’s no wonder that many of us feel as if we’re constantly failing. In this episode, we talk about the crazy difficulties of being a parent now we’re nearly a year into the pandemic, and how we may have lost sight of just how much we’re asking of ourselves. When we’re being asked to tolerate an intolerable situation, parental burnout is a natural conclusion. But what is it and can we do anything at all about it? The answer is YES, and it’s a surprising one… We also chat about being sick of the sound of your own nagging voice (hey, where’s FUN ME gone?) and how the lockdown is affecting kids too. How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rob da Bank has been getting the party started for decades, ever since he first started DJing in the 1990s. But one of the biggest casualties of the Covid-19 crisis has been live music and festivals, and with the 2021 summer festival season now in doubt, we caught up with Rob to found how he has coped with this radical change in his life. We chat to Rob about how he’s managing with homeschooling his four sons at home in the Isle of Wight, and why being able to spend time outdoors and in nature is keeping him going. As the co-founder, along with his wife Josie, of legendary festivals Bestival and Camp Bestival, we also talk about the sense of connection and belonging that people get from festivals, how they’re nourishing for our souls and how we’re all missing those release valves in our lives because of the lockdowns. Rob has moved into meditation teaching in the past few years, and so we also talk to him about how he’s shifted his focus from making people happy through DJing, to helping them discover their true self through meditation. Rob and Josie now run Sleep Retreat, an ‘antidote to 21st century living’ where yoga and meditation provide a calm respite from our over-screened worlds. https://sleepretreat.net Thanks so much to Rob for talking to us – we hope you enjoy it. How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. 🎧😊 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For natural extrovert Damian Barr, lockdown has presented a new set of challenges. Without being able to enjoy unplanned, unscheduled interactions and the layers of connection we have in our normal life, he’s had to learn how to live in the present and slow down. In this brilliantly insightful and honest chat, we speak to Damian about how he has coped with the past year, and how, having lived through the Aids pandemic of the 80s and 90s, and survived a traumatic childhood, he was unusually well equipped to deal with the immediate emergencies thrown at us by Covid. Damian also opens up about his experience of online bullying on social media last summer – and how a forced break from digital platforms has led him to entirely reassess his relationship with social media, consider what he puts online and also rediscover a love of speaking on the phone. He also talks about why he's gone back into therapy and how he’s approaching 2021 (it’s about dreams, not plans). Thanks so much to Damian for talking to us – we hope you enjoy it. Damian’s next Literary Salon Live featuring Russell T Davies and Ruth Coker Burks is February 18th https://www.theliterarysalon.co.uk/get-tickets Damian’s book You Will Be Safe Here is available in paperback now: https://www.waterstones.com/book/you-will-be-safe-here/damian-barr/9781408886052 The second series of the Big Scottish Book Club is on iPlayer: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m000bc3j/the-big-scottish-book-club How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Author and fashion editor of The Times, Harriet Walker, announced her pregnancy to friends and family just as the UK went into lockdown last March. Suddenly she found herself dealing not only with a full-time job and the heightened emotions and physical strains of pregnancy – but also looking after her toddler daughter at home, too. In this episode of #HowToCope, Harriet talks about how she managed with the knife-edge of stress and emotion during that time, and how being viciously trolled for an honest article she wrote was harder to deal with when all our emotions were so close to the surface. She shares the unusual experience of launching her debut novel, The New Girl, during a pandemic, what it was like to give birth and look after her newborn son during these intense and changed times, as well as what she’s learned about herself and her mental health. How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. The New Girl, by Harriet Walker is available in hardback now: https://www.waterstones.com/book/the-new-girl/harriet-walker/9781529304008 and is available for pre-order in paperback: https://www.waterstones.com/book/the-new-girl/harriet-walker/9781529304046 This episode was recorded remotely in December 2020. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Toxic stress is here, and the effects on our mental health are real. Unbelievably, it’s almost been a year since the Covid-19 pandemic took hold in the UK, and the collective stress experienced by us all is very different now to how it was back at the start. Unlike general stress – which tends to follow an up and down pattern – toxic stress is where the stressor doesn’t go away. With all of us on lockdown and unable to find our usual releases from this unending stress, how can we cope? In this episode, we chat through the different types of toxic stress affecting us – from general pandemic awfulness, to adapting to the constantly shifting goalposts and the self-inflicted toxic stress of social media. We look at some solutions to alleviating the toxic stress load on our bodies and minds – what can we do to stop the revving brain? How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. 👍 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'A Christmas like no other' doesn't even begin to cover what we're all dealing with right now. With the festive season upon us, it's hard to feel positive when so many of us can't see our families, are battered by the depressing news landscape, or are just burned out from nearly a year of dealing with toxic pandemic stress. So how can we cope at this particularly tricky time of year and look after our mental health? Despite the fact we've been living with Covid since March, everything feels a bit sharper and more painful right now. In this special seasonal episode, we chat through how we can stop the slide into despair during this time, and find joy in some small rays of sunlight (the vaccine! No catering stress or family rows!). We also look back at 2020, what, if anything we've learned about ourselves and what we can take into the New Year. Our collective mental health has been one of the focuses of this difficult year - let's keep the conversation going to help each other. 👊 How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. *This episode was recorded remotely on Friday 18th December, before the new tier rules were announced on the 19th* Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

TV presenter Scarlette Douglas started off 2020 with a list of goals to achieve – land a new TV show, be on the radio and find love – and incredibly, she ticked off all three of them, despite the chaos wreaked on her career by the pandemic. Scarlette, who presents A Place in the Sun on Channel 4, saw all her work disappear with the arrival of Covid, but this gave her an unexpected opportunity to rest, switch off and work out what was important to her in her life. She realised there were lots of insecurities and anxieties she hadn’t addressed within herself, and began a period of intense self-reflection where she was able to finally ask herself, ‘what are you running from?’ Scarlette shares with us the incredible changes she’s been through this year, and how it’s left her more humble, more true to herself and less self-conscious than ever before. How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. 🎧 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As a travel writer for global publications, Anna Hart’s life was grounded in more ways than one by the pandemic. But she’s found that this year has actually turned out to be the most interesting and fulfilling year to be a travel writer she’s ever known. Anna talks to us about how Covid-19 totally upended her world: from a last-minute return back from the US, to dealing with despair about her work and career, and finding a way through the chaos to continue writing about travel in a totally new way. We also explore the links between travel and mental health, why it’s totally acceptable to miss our holidays and why Anna feels passionately that travel is more than just a privilege, it’s an important way many of us cope. Anna’s book Departures: A Guide to Letting Go, One Adventure at a Time, is out now: https://www.waterstones.com/book/departures/anna-hart/9780751577051 How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Resilience has been a buzzword during the pandemic, but what if you’re feeling like your resources have run totally dry? As Lockdown 2 drags on to the bitter end, we explore this idea of being resilient, and why it’s actually not massively helpful with how to cope. From the way that resilience can feel like a blaming term (if you’re not resilient, it’s somehow all your fault, right?), to why we need our environment to support us for feelings of resilience to flourish, in this episode we explore why resilience really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Oh, and how when it’s in short supply, it’s very easy to make terrible Netflix film choices… How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Thank you so much for listening. Please like, subscribe and share, it makes a real difference and we really appreciate it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Erica Davies is one of the UK’s most influential fashion Instagrammers, with 166k followers. So how did the Covid pandemic impact how she worked, how she coped, and her take on fashion and how it makes us all feel? For the last few years, former newspaper fashion editor Erica has been on a momentous trajectory (we’re not allowed to say the ‘J’ word 😉), building up her personal brand on Instagram. By the start of 2020, she’d amassed hundreds of thousands of followers, had written a style guide Fashion is a Neutral which was about to come out, and had worked out the personal boundaries that made her feel comfortable on social media. But then Covid hit: and Erica had to totally change the sort of content she put out, deal with a full house, and release her book in the midst of a global pandemic. In this episode, Erica shares how she got through all the above, plus the sadness she feels at not being able to help out her parents, and the transformative effect of clothes on our mental health. Thanks so much to Erica for taking part – and thanks so much for listening! Please like, subscribe and share, we really appreciate it. 💚 How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Leopard is a Neutral: A Really Useful Style Guide https://www.amazon.co.uk/Leopard-Neutral-Really-Useful-Style/dp/1529333717 https://www.waterstones.com/book/leopard-is-a-neutral/erica-davies/9781529333718 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lockdown 2 is here for those of us living in England, but you won’t find us out clapping for carers, baking banana bread or manically scheduling social Zoom calls this time around. No, in this lockdown the general mood is a bit bleaker – we’re all dealing with lower energy levels, pessimism and a sense of ‘what’s the point?’ In this episode of How To Cope, psychotherapist Lucy Clyde and writer Becky Howard explore just why our coping mechanisms for the spring lockdown won’t work this time. We talk about why we’re all still psychologically bruised and not fully recovered from the impacts of the first lockdown, and why our faith in being able to control the virus has been battered. With all of us suffering from pandemic fatigue, an unsatisfying lack of visible results from our sacrifices and an utter intolerance for high-level bullshit (hello, government), it’s time to bring out some new ways to look after our mental health. Thanks so much for listening! Please like, subscribe and share 😊 You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In her role as Audience Editor of the publishing site Huff Post UK, Becky Barnes is responsible for helping people make sense of the overwhelming amount of information and news about the global pandemic. But during the first lockdown, she found spending her entire working day immersed in negative information, and living on her own, took its toll on her mental health. In this insightful and honest chat, Becky talks to us about why she experienced her worst mental health ever during 2020, and how her fun and fulfilling life as a busy single woman in London was totally transformed by Covid. Since going through the first lockdown, Becky’s discovered lots about what has helped improve her mental health; from giving up alcohol to tracking her menstrual cycle and learning how to be her own best friend. Becky’s recently launched a weekly roundup of uplifting news to keep us going – because we need joy more than ever. Subscribe to The Brightside here: https://subscribe.huffpost.com/NewsLetter/preference/Subscribe/?list=uk-brightside&src=email& How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Many business have suffered during lockdown, but the opposite has happened to the sex toy industry. Online sales of sex toys of all types have rocketed, but why? And what’s the link between sex toys, self-pleasure and mental health? To answer our questions we’re joined in this episode by Julia Margo, COO of Hot Octopuss. Julia explains the research that links sexual pleasure with improved mental health, and how their focus on marginalised groups left behind by mainstream conversations makes a huge difference to peoples’ self-esteem. We talk about why there needs to be less stigma around using sex toys, and why using them taps into the deep human need for pleasure, especially during times of stress and crisis. We also chat about how Julia coped personally with running a sex toy business with three young children in the house, and why Becky still can’t watch a sex scene on TV without pulling her jumper over her head… How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Hot Octopuss: https://www.hotoctopuss.com/ Thanks so much for listening! 🎧 Please like, subscribe and share - we really appreciate it and it makes a huge difference to the podcast reaching a wide audience 👍 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do you cope when you’ve got a business that’s skyrocketing under Covid, plus three kids at home? That’s what we wanted to find out from Steph Douglas, whose gift-box business Don’t Buy Her Flowers found that sales went through the roof when the shops closed. We chatted to the brilliant Steph about how she found herself working full-on under highly adrenalized conditions, how she coped with the guilt about doing well when other industries suffered, and the intense pressure and responsibility she felt. It wasn’t until she had a break from work that Steph found herself struggling with her mental health – she shares how she managed this and what her plans are to cope with Pandemic: The Return. Plus – the universal experiences of crying in Tescos and dishwasher rows with your partner… How to Cope is hosted by writer Becky Howard and psychotherapist Lucy Clyde. You can follow us on Twitter @_beckyhoward @lucysclyde @cope_podcast Don't Buy Her Flowers: https://www.dontbuyherflowers.com/ Thanks for listening - please like, subscribe and share 🎧 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.