It's Best If You Don't Reach Out

https://youtu.be/HsGtSuS26YE My girlfriend and I grapple with the knowledge that our beautiful relationship has a fixed end date: May 31st or the last day of the last month I am an unqualified post-COVID teacher. I have a young son, and I need to stake a claim up north before climate change gets us. She’s going to stay behind and continue her awesome life. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

There are 17 school days and 23 regular days left on my sentence. Every day, I wake up imbued with the spirit of movie version William Wallace. FREEDOM!!!!! IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

She’s currently on an expedition at one of the globe’s poles, and I greatly miss her. Will I stay under the heat dome of climate change for true love or follow through with my plans to escape this dusty hellhole? IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

“Why did I let this happen?” I said to myself in a face-palm, the second I saw a full blown bag lady. She was wearing some kind of sheet-like dress, green crocs, and sporting stringy weird-looking hair. Her lumpy face (heavily filtered in the photos I had seen) was in fact missing an eye. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

The funny thing about taking tighty whities into battle, the couple of times I’ve tried, is that women don’t quite know how to unwrap the goods. White briefs are almost a chastity belt more so than their colored compatriots. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

I grapple with the ethics of stealing $5 from my dad's wallet. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

I can't bring myself to accept an offer. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

I let my friend down at a pivotal moment. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

I met a 25yo Tiki goddess who fetishized me for being old. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

The new year brings new challenges. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

I will never forgive McDonald’s. Capitalism. COVID. And a muscle-mommy. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

She called off a pizza porno, but why? IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

Scotia Group delivers. I upset Target team members. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

Scotia Group screws me again. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

I met a woman who works at a grocery store, and as a sex worker, and she stealthed me! Wtf. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

Fifty adults were asked to find a partner and play Rock, Paper, Scissors. The loser of every pair was supposed to fall in line behind the winner, and begin chanting the winner’s name. This continues until two winners meet, both leading a human centipede of 24 losers chanting their name, for the final Rock, Paper, Scissors. Well, I accidentally won. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

I met the ultimate Manic Pixie Dream Girl during spring break while she was vacationing in Arizona. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

New policies make my current foster care job unsafe, so I leave without a plan. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

I want to blow the whistle on that Arizona charter high school. Seriously email me if you’re a reporter, and I’ll tell you which school I worked at that still commits an egregious amount of credit fraud while abusing its teachers. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com

I revisit getting picked on for wearing tighty whities and being a virgin. IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T REACH OUT The unexceptional late thirties male against COVID-19, genital herpes, and $18 an hour employment http://bestifyoudont.com