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Ladies Who Lunch

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Ladies Who Lunch lets you sit at the table and explore topics often left out of polite conversation with YouTubers Ingrid Nilsen and Cat Valdes. Write in to join their dialogue about sex, relationships, social phobias and more as they approach life's dilemmas with compassion and a sense of humor. New episodes every week.

Ladies Who Lunch lets you sit at the table and explore topics often left out of polite conversation with YouTubers Ingrid Nilsen and Cat Valdes. Write in to join their dialogue about sex, relationships, social phobias and more as they approach life's dilemmas with compassion and a sense of humor. New episodes every week.
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Ladies Who Lunch lets you sit at the table and explore topics often left out of polite conversation with YouTubers Ingrid Nilsen and Cat Valdes. Write in to join their dialogue about sex, relationships, social phobias and more as they approach life's dilemmas with compassion and a sense of humor. New episodes every week.




New Beginnings

We're back! We're filling you guys in on what we've been up to and why we've been gone for so long. We're in brand new places with both the podcast and in our own lives! Cat shares what it's been like for her to go back to school in her late 20s. Why did she decide to go back and what's different this time around? We're also discussing our experiences when we moved away from home and what it was like to start again.

Duration: 00:39:03

Color in the Queer Community (with Melantha Hodge)

As Pride Month comes to an end, we chat with our friend Melantha Hodge about working in the music industry as a gay woman of color. How has it affected the way she's been treated by men in the business? Why do certain cultures react differently to members of the gay community? We also debate whether or not the LGBTQ flag should also represent race, and help a listener who doesn't feel the need to come out about her sexuality. Society's constant need for labels can pressure you to publicize...

Duration: 00:55:40

Overcome Your Eating Disorder

To continue Mental Health Awareness Month, Kati Morton is back to help us address the biggest questions on eating disorders. What causes people to have anorexia, binge eating, or bulimia? How can you get treatment for your ED? How can you support someone who is in the recovery process? We also discuss the dangers of going into starvation mode, how we can use positive language about our bodies, how to tell your parents that you have an eating disorder, and how to fight through the anxiety...

Duration: 01:29:21

What Is OCD?

This week, licensed therapist and professional mental health expert Kati Morton helps us answer your questions about obsessive compulsive disorder. What are the symptoms of OCD? How can you treat it? Is self-diagnosing reliable? We also dive into your letters about overcoming the stigma around mental health, differentiating intrusive thoughts vs. homosexual thoughts, and telling your therapist that their methods aren't working. Taking care of yourself is your number one priority, so get...

Duration: 01:17:53

Trying Out Therapy

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, we take an exploration through therapy. What should you expect from a therapist? Why do people go to therapy? Do you always have to talk about your deep emotional issues? We also compare different types of therapy, psychologists vs. psychiatrists, and the ways we interact with our own therapists. Meeting with a mental health professional can be like dating - it's a little awkward at first, and it might take a few tries before you discover a type...

Duration: 01:14:49

Forgiving Your Parents

Our journey through reconciliation finishes up with the difficulties of forgiving our parents. How can you move past the inevitable pain that enters this relationship? If you forgive them, are you condoning their behavior? We also help a listener who resents her mother for creating an unstable childhood, and answer a letter about receiving an apology - but still feeling unheard. Parents aren't perfect, and they're going to affect us whether we like it or not. How will you leave the wounded...

Duration: 01:01:25

When Women Say "I'm Sorry"

Apologizing is an important step towards reconciliation, but sometimes we say "sorry" too much. Why do women typically apologize more than men? Can you still be a feminist and use these undermining words? How can you be more aware of them in your everyday speech? We also investigate the issues of assuming girls are "more difficult," the dilemma of policing how women speak, and a letter from a listener who wants to stop over-apologizing at work. Language is one of the essential ways we...

Duration: 01:04:22

Releasing Resentment Towards Ourselves

Our reconciliation theme continues with forgiveness towards ourselves and our past. How do you transition from bitterness towards compassion? Can you take too much responsibility for painful events in your life? As adults, how can we help younger generations recognize when they aren't accountable for difficult times? We also discuss a listener's guilt for unintentionally hurting her ex, another listener's choice to not reconcile with her absent father, and a letter from a victim who hates...

Duration: 01:06:23

Reconciling With An Ex

To start this month's theme of reconciliation, we dive into the process of amending past romantic relationships. How do you know if you should let an ex re-enter your life? What red flags indicate that getting back together is a bad idea? We also debate the ways we show forgiveness, and read three letters about reconciling with past partners - all which end in very different ways. You're entitled to the feelings of pain and bitterness from a breakup, but replaying the past can prevent you...

Duration: 00:56:53

A Wrap Up on Honesty

Now that we've thoroughly explored this month's theme of honesty, we wrap it up by sharing your responses and experiences with this incredibly complex topic. When should someone seek professional help for their compulsion to lie? How do you come clean about your past false claims? We also read a listener's story about the consequences of over sharing, and reflect on the biggest takeaways we learned from this month's discussions with each other and of course - all of you. P.S. Thanks to...

Duration: 00:40:56

When Silence Becomes Lying

We wrap up our honesty series with the murky grey topic of lying by omission. Is a white lie just as bad as a straight out lie? When is it okay not to share all the information? Should you tell your partner about harmless flirting and all your exes? We also read a letter about the consequences of hiding your past from your kids, and help another listener who fears that being honest will ruin a relationship that has already survived so much. You might think that withholding details from...

Duration: 00:53:00

Being Honest with Yourself

Our journey through honesty travels into the difficulties of being truthful with ourselves. How can you be more aware of your shortcomings? Are you necessarily a bad person for lying about who you are? Should we always strive for self-improvement, or is there a point when we should just accept our faults? We also determine why we lie to ourselves, explore the fear of judgment for revealing our raw identity, and help a listener who is finally comfortable with her sexuality - but now she has...

Duration: 01:10:14

The Bitter Feeling of Being Betrayed

To continue this month's theme of honesty, we travel through the frustrating process of being betrayed. How do you overcome trust issues after a friend or partner has lied to you? Why do we gaslight other people? We also share a letter from a victim who can't hold a grudge against his betrayers, and help another listener whose boyfriend became far from the man she once loved. We're often deceived by those we love most, which makes the experience so painful to bear. But their redemption is...

Duration: 00:59:39

When Fake News Becomes a Real Problem

We launch our new, month-long honesty series by sifting through the issue of fake news. How do you know which news stories and sources are trustworthy? Should social media sites be responsible for news accuracy and neutrality? How can you avoid getting trapped in your own echo chamber? We also discuss the dangers of Drumpf's war with the press, the appeal of clickbait titles, and a letter from a listener who is a minority, a feminist, and a Drumpf supporter - but hasn't felt discrimination...

Duration: 01:15:06

Dealing with Depression

This week, we sink into the isolating, yet common experience of depression. What causes depression? What are the symptoms? Why are women more likely than men to suffer from this mental disorder? We also share Cat's journey with antidepressants, different ways to treat depression, and a listener letter about helping a loved one who won't take the initiative to get better. These negative emotions can be completely random, or born out of crisis - but either way, you're not alone in this...

Duration: 00:55:18

Embracing Insecurities

This week, we dive into the universal experience of feeling insecure. How can you break the cycle of self-hatred and accept yourself? Can your poor self-esteem ruin a relationship? How can you stop comparing your life to what you see on social media? We also explore insecurities between women and men, discuss ways to deal with high school and workplace bullies, and help a listener who fears she'll stay single forever if she can't change her negative inner dialogue. No one is perfect, but...

Duration: 01:05:18

Can Guys and Girls Be Just Friends?

The platonic friendship is a subject of much debate - and this week, we attempt to find the answer. Can men and women really have a close, but non-romantic relationship? Should you talk to your "just friend" about the sexual attraction and sexual tension? Why do most guys seek these friendships, and what makes them stay in it? We also discuss what this friendship looks like in the LGBTQ+ community and the YouTube community, how to respond to the doubters, and how to deal with jealous...

Duration: 00:49:26

When to Let Go of Your Dreams

This week, we determine when it's time to set aside your dreams. How do you move on after you say goodbye to your aspirations? Why is failure and rejection good for us? How do you find out what really fulfills you? We also compare self-confidence vs. entitlement, explain why we should approach goals with a healthy dose of pessimism, and help a listener who thinks perseverance is taking her nowhere. Although we should all have dreams, the harsh truth of reality is that we can't always get...

Duration: 00:46:02

The Different Ways We Fall In Love

Finding that perfect partner is a fantasy that's been spoon-fed to us since we were born. This week, we take a realistic look at the different ways we fall in love. How do you know when you're in love? How long does it take? Are we more likely to stay in a relationship without the idea of "til death do us part"? We also compare emotional vs. rational love, explain why we hate grand romantic gestures, and help a listener who is considering a passionless arranged marriage. Falling in love...

Duration: 00:44:02

Seeking Social Acceptance

In this week's episode, we cope with the feeling of not being accepted by your friends and family. How do you climb out of the pit of self-hatred? How has the internet affected our self-acceptance? We also determine when the need for approval becomes unhealthy, why a comment about Miley Cyrus sparked an argument between Cat and her mom, and whether you can change someone whose values don't align with your identity. Sometimes we don't make the most popular decision, and it steers us away...

Duration: 01:02:33

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