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Ladies Who Lunch

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Ladies Who Lunch lets you sit at the table and explore topics often left out of polite conversation with YouTubers Ingrid Nilsen and Cat Valdes. Write in to join their dialogue about sex, relationships, social phobias and more as they approach life's dilemmas with compassion and a sense of humor. New episodes every week.




Color in the Queer Community (with Melantha Hodge)

As Pride Month comes to an end, we chat with our friend Melantha Hodge about working in the music industry as a gay woman of color. How has it affected the way she's been treated by men in the business? Why do certain cultures react differently to members of the gay community? We also debate whether or not the LGBTQ flag should also represent race, and help a listener who doesn't feel the need to come out about her sexuality. Society's constant need for labels can pressure you to publicize...

Duration: 00:55:40

The Journey of Gender Fluidity

We continue Pride Month with special guest Connor Manning, who shares the experience of identifying as gender fluid. What is gender fluidity? How do you know if you're non-binary? We also ask Connor about which pronouns are preferred, how to deal with frustration when you're misunderstood, and how to identify as a male even if you don't relate to society's idea of masculinity. It could take a while for others to fully accept your gender fluidity, but all that matters is that you accept...

Duration: 00:58:45

Taking Pride in Your Bisexuality (with Alayna Fender)

This week, our friend Alayna Fender shares her personal story of being bisexual. What are the ways we define bisexuality? Why does the LGBTQ community scrutinize people who are bisexual? We also explore the negative stereotypes surrounding this identity, and help a listener who fears that she'll be deemed "not queer enough" for having a boyfriend. Although it's common to feel these insecurities, just know that you are always worthy of your sexual identity. How will you own up to it and...

Duration: 01:00:33

Being a Gay Woman (with Cammie Scott and Alexis G. Zall)

We start our LGBTQ+ month with special guests Cammie Scott and Alexis G. Zall to talk about all things lesbian. Is there more pressure to look or behave a certain way after coming out? How can you deal with people who don't believe that you're gay? We also debate our feelings on the term "lesbian," investigate the stereotype that gay women hate men, and help a listener who is struggling with internal homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality. We all tend to label ourselves and consequently...

Duration: 01:03:43

Reflecting on Mental Health Month

As May comes to an end, we review our conversations focused on mental health. What were the biggest surprises we learned? Did we change our opinions about "13 Reasons Why"? We also share a listener's new journey with antidepressants after moving to a foreign country, and read a letter about dealing with a bipolar relative whose behavior has taken a complete 180 for the worse. Mental illness doesn't discriminate, and it affects more people than you might think. The pain and shame is often...

Duration: 00:54:03

The "13 Reasons Why" Controversy

This week, we share our "13 Reasons Why" debate from Playlist Live with special guests Kati Morton and Lisa Filipelli. Where did the show succeed, but also fail? Was the graphic visual of Hannah Baker's suicide just a ploy to get attention? We also explain why we're frustrated with the depiction of mental health treatment and school counselors, why this show panders to vulnerable teens, and where to get help if you're struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. There are resources...

Duration: 00:48:15

Overcome Your Eating Disorder

To continue Mental Health Awareness Month, Kati Morton is back to help us address the biggest questions on eating disorders. What causes people to have anorexia, binge eating, or bulimia? How can you get treatment for your ED? How can you support someone who is in the recovery process? We also discuss the dangers of going into starvation mode, how we can use positive language about our bodies, how to tell your parents that you have an eating disorder, and how to fight through the anxiety...

Duration: 01:29:21

What Is OCD?

This week, licensed therapist and professional mental health expert Kati Morton helps us answer your questions about obsessive compulsive disorder. What are the symptoms of OCD? How can you treat it? Is self-diagnosing reliable? We also dive into your letters about overcoming the stigma around mental health, differentiating intrusive thoughts vs. homosexual thoughts, and telling your therapist that their methods aren't working. Taking care of yourself is your number one priority, so get...

Duration: 01:17:53

Trying Out Therapy

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, we take an exploration through therapy. What should you expect from a therapist? Why do people go to therapy? Do you always have to talk about your deep emotional issues? We also compare different types of therapy, psychologists vs. psychiatrists, and the ways we interact with our own therapists. Meeting with a mental health professional can be like dating - it's a little awkward at first, and it might take a few tries before you discover a type...

Duration: 01:14:49

Forgiving Your Parents

Our journey through reconciliation finishes up with the difficulties of forgiving our parents. How can you move past the inevitable pain that enters this relationship? If you forgive them, are you condoning their behavior? We also help a listener who resents her mother for creating an unstable childhood, and answer a letter about receiving an apology - but still feeling unheard. Parents aren't perfect, and they're going to affect us whether we like it or not. How will you leave the wounded...

Duration: 01:01:25

When Women Say "I'm Sorry"

Apologizing is an important step towards reconciliation, but sometimes we say "sorry" too much. Why do women typically apologize more than men? Can you still be a feminist and use these undermining words? How can you be more aware of them in your everyday speech? We also investigate the issues of assuming girls are "more difficult," the dilemma of policing how women speak, and a letter from a listener who wants to stop over-apologizing at work. Language is one of the essential ways we...

Duration: 01:04:22

Releasing Resentment Towards Ourselves

Our reconciliation theme continues with forgiveness towards ourselves and our past. How do you transition from bitterness towards compassion? Can you take too much responsibility for painful events in your life? As adults, how can we help younger generations recognize when they aren't accountable for difficult times? We also discuss a listener's guilt for unintentionally hurting her ex, another listener's choice to not reconcile with her absent father, and a letter from a victim who hates...

Duration: 01:06:23

Reconciling With An Ex

To start this month's theme of reconciliation, we dive into the process of amending past romantic relationships. How do you know if you should let an ex re-enter your life? What red flags indicate that getting back together is a bad idea? We also debate the ways we show forgiveness, and read three letters about reconciling with past partners - all which end in very different ways. You're entitled to the feelings of pain and bitterness from a breakup, but replaying the past can prevent you...

Duration: 00:56:53

A Wrap Up on Honesty

Now that we've thoroughly explored this month's theme of honesty, we wrap it up by sharing your responses and experiences with this incredibly complex topic. When should someone seek professional help for their compulsion to lie? How do you come clean about your past false claims? We also read a listener's story about the consequences of over sharing, and reflect on the biggest takeaways we learned from this month's discussions with each other and of course - all of you. P.S. Thanks to...

Duration: 00:40:56

When Silence Becomes Lying

We wrap up our honesty series with the murky grey topic of lying by omission. Is a white lie just as bad as a straight out lie? When is it okay not to share all the information? Should you tell your partner about harmless flirting and all your exes? We also read a letter about the consequences of hiding your past from your kids, and help another listener who fears that being honest will ruin a relationship that has already survived so much. You might think that withholding details from...

Duration: 00:53:00

Being Honest with Yourself

Our journey through honesty travels into the difficulties of being truthful with ourselves. How can you be more aware of your shortcomings? Are you necessarily a bad person for lying about who you are? Should we always strive for self-improvement, or is there a point when we should just accept our faults? We also determine why we lie to ourselves, explore the fear of judgment for revealing our raw identity, and help a listener who is finally comfortable with her sexuality - but now she has...

Duration: 01:10:14

The Bitter Feeling of Being Betrayed

To continue this month's theme of honesty, we travel through the frustrating process of being betrayed. How do you overcome trust issues after a friend or partner has lied to you? Why do we gaslight other people? We also share a letter from a victim who can't hold a grudge against his betrayers, and help another listener whose boyfriend became far from the man she once loved. We're often deceived by those we love most, which makes the experience so painful to bear. But their redemption is...

Duration: 00:59:39

When Fake News Becomes a Real Problem

We launch our new, month-long honesty series by sifting through the issue of fake news. How do you know which news stories and sources are trustworthy? Should social media sites be responsible for news accuracy and neutrality? How can you avoid getting trapped in your own echo chamber? We also discuss the dangers of Drumpf's war with the press, the appeal of clickbait titles, and a letter from a listener who is a minority, a feminist, and a Drumpf supporter - but hasn't felt discrimination...

Duration: 01:15:06

Dealing with Depression

This week, we sink into the isolating, yet common experience of depression. What causes depression? What are the symptoms? Why are women more likely than men to suffer from this mental disorder? We also share Cat's journey with antidepressants, different ways to treat depression, and a listener letter about helping a loved one who won't take the initiative to get better. These negative emotions can be completely random, or born out of crisis - but either way, you're not alone in this...

Duration: 00:55:18

Embracing Insecurities

This week, we dive into the universal experience of feeling insecure. How can you break the cycle of self-hatred and accept yourself? Can your poor self-esteem ruin a relationship? How can you stop comparing your life to what you see on social media? We also explore insecurities between women and men, discuss ways to deal with high school and workplace bullies, and help a listener who fears she'll stay single forever if she can't change her negative inner dialogue. No one is perfect, but...

Duration: 01:05:18

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