Neuroshambles

This week, Mark is joined once again by the brilliant Kieran Rose, AKA The Autistic Advocate – writer, educator, and parent of three neurodivergent children. Together, they take a deep (and sometimes uncomfortable) dive into one of the most contentious topics in neurodiversity parenting: labels. What do we mean when we describe someone as “severely autistic”? Why is it so hard to explain what being autistic actually means? And how useful (or harmful) are terms like high-functioning, low-functioning, profound autism, or even Asperger’s? In a wide-ranging and compassionate chat, Mark and Kieran explore how complex, deeply personal and often contradictory this topic is - both for parents and for autistic people themselves. What starts as a provocative question ends up as a fascinating conversation about diagnosis, co-occurring conditions, identity, education, eugenics, power, and prejudice. Not one to miss. Make a cuppa, maybe two - this one’s long. But worth it. 📍 CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro: Meet Kieran Rose 04:30 - Life in a Fully Neurodivergent Household 08:00 - Topic of the Week: How Autistic Is Your Child? 12:00 - Labels, Bias, and the Stigma Around Autism 18:00 - High vs Low Functioning: Where It Comes From 23:00 - What Even Is Autism? 28:30 - The Flawed Legacy of Asperger’s 35:00 - Identity vs Diagnosis 42:00 - DSM-5 Levels of Autism: Why They Don’t Work 49:00 - Profound Autism and The New York Times Article 55:00 - A Counterpoint: The Voices We Don’t Hear 1:00:00 - Co-occurring Conditions and the Real Source of Needs 1:07:00 - Clinical Labels vs Lived Experience 1:14:00 - Mark’s Imposter Syndrome as an Autism Parent 1:18:00 - What’s the Alternative? 1:23:00 - Final Thoughts: Humanising, Not Diagnosing 1:27:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:33:00 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:39:00 - “What the Flip?” Moments 1:43:00 - Wrap-up & Where to Find Us 🔗 LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Kieran Rose website - https://theautisticadvocate.com/ Eugenics - https://www.newscientist.com/definition/eugenics/ Asperger Syndrome - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism/the-history-of-autism/asperger-syndrome Hans Asperger - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Asperger Lorna Wing - https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/news/lorna-wing-an-autism-hero DSM-5 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-5 PDF Download of DSM-5 - https://ia800707.us.archive.org/15/items/info_munsha_DSM5/DSM-5.pdf New York Times article: The Autism Spectrum Is Too Broad - https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/16/opinion/autism-diagnosis-category-stigma.html Greta Thunberg - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-49918719 What is monotropism? - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/what-is-monotropism Ehlers Danlos Syndromes - https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ehlers-danlos-syndromes/ Communication First - https://communicationfirst.org/ Autism Central - https://www.autismcentral.org.uk/ Kieran Rose Animated Guide to Monotropism - https://youtu.be/qUFDAevkd3E?si=diwlbe4AHRcxfjQF Kieran Rose Animated Guide to The Double Empathy Problem - https://youtu.be/qpXwYD9bGyU?si=7bnGR2UsrCgLa_hL KIERAN'S HOMEWORK Kieran Rose Blog: Autism, it’s Labels and the Language of Pathologising Rhetoric - https://theautisticadvocate.com/autism-its-labels-and-the-language-of-pathologising-rhetoric/ Sunday Times article: Extra time in exams ‘unhealthy’ for children with ADHD and autism - https://www.thetimes.com/uk/education/article/extra-time-exams-unhealthy-children-adhd-autism-k820s56zh TES magazine article: Sami Timimi: Why ‘invented’ SEND labels are disabling pupils - https://www.tes.com/magazine/teaching-learning/general/sami-timimi-interview-problems-with-send-diagnosis-adhd-autism Yahoo News: Badenoch says motability cars not for people with ADHD - https://uk.news.yahoo.com/badenoch-motability-cars-not-people-135341300.html?guccounter=1 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website:...

This week, Mark is joined by Michelle Parton – a long-time Neuroshambles listener and parent of two neurodivergent children. They explore one of the more baffling challenges of raising our kids: why do so many of them flat-out refuse medical assistance? From hiding lava lamp injuries to meltdown-inducing blood tests, Mark and Michelle swap tales of their kids’ iron-willed resistance to all forms of treatment – even when they’re clearly in pain, bleeding, or itching uncontrollably. Together, they explore the many reasons this might be happening – from sensory issues and PDA to past trauma, masking, and a fundamental lack of trust in strangers in latex gloves. It’s funny, cathartic, at times heartbreaking – definitely one for anyone who’s ever tried (and failed) to administer Calpol to a deeply suspicious neurodifferent child. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Michelle Parton 03:00 – Topic of the Week: Refusing Medical Help 08:00 – Kids hiding injuries 13:00 – Dysregulation about the prospect of going to the doctor 17:30 – Trust issues with medical professionals 23:00 – Lyme disease and the unholy nightmare of blood tests 29:00 – Trying to administer medication 35:00 – The impact of sensory overwhelm: Plasters, creams & the taste of medication 42:00 – The added complication with PDA kids 47:00 – The role that masking might play 54:00 – How alexithymia and interoception can influence things 59:00 – The impact of past traumatic experiences 1:04:00 – The positives 1:06:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:10:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:14:00 – “What the Flip?” moments 1:18:00 – Wrap-Up & Where to Find Us ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Lyme Disease - https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/lyme-disease/ Alexithymia - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cg4ky5qgrlpo Interoception - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/interoception-wellbeing Beyond Creative Education - https://www.beyondcreativeeducation.org.uk/ ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

In part two of this deep dive into transitions, Mark reunites with author, trainer, and neurodiversity advocate Pete Wharmby to look at more reasons they can cause such a monumental challenge for autistic, ADHD and PDA kids (and adults). From difficulties pulling our kids away from screen-time and replacing a broek fridge, to the regular flashpoint of brushing teeth, Mark and Pete share real-life strategies that can make these transitions more manageable - or at the very least a bit more fun. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Welcome back and reintroducing Pete Wharmby 02:30 - Recap of what we covered in episode 45 and why transitions affect all neurodivergent kids 06:10 - Screen time, flow states and Pete's oil tanker analogy 16:45 - The role that monotropism plays in transitions 27:00 - Strategies: lead-In Times, choice and routines 36:40 - Understanding how PDA affects transitions and why it’s not just defiance 46:00 - Strategies for control-driven transitions (e.g. declarative language) 55:30 - Difficulty throwing stuff away: fridges, crocs and clinging to familiarity 1:04:30 - Schools as the perfect storm of transitional triggers 1:15:20 - The positives 1:18:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:20:40 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:23:15 - "What the flip?" moments 1:26:00 - Wrap-up and thanks ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Pete Wharmby website - https://petewharmby.com/ Untypical by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/8gGK6v4 What I Want to Talk About, by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/6tY0kZQ What is monotropism? - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/what-is-monotropism Last One Laughing - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LOL:_Last_One_Laughing_UK Ausome Training, Cothu course - https://ausometraining.com/cothu-with-pete-wharmby Declarative language - https://lifeskillsadvocate.com/blog/declarative-language-for-neurodivergent-communicators/ Anna Freud - https://www.annafreud.org/ Georgia Pavlopoulou (LinkedIn) - https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-georgia-pavlopoulou-651a042a Neuro Nook Storytime - https://www.neuronookstorytime.com/ Bedknobs and Broomsticks - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedknobs_and_Broomsticks Silksong - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollow_Knight:_Silksong ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay

This episode of Neuroshambles, will resonate will all parents of neurodifferent kids, as Mark discusses difficulties with transition with the wonderful autism advocate, Pete Wharmby. Together, they delve into the messy, stressful, and often misunderstood world of transitions – from seemingly small everyday routines to major life changes. Whether it’s leaving the house, going into school, or prying them away from screen time, transitions can often be a sensory, emotional and logistical nightmare for autistic, ADHD and PDA kids (and adults). But why exactly are they so hard – and what can we do to ease the load? This is a funny, heartfelt, and cathartic episode full of insight, compassion and practical suggestions, as well as a much-needed sense of solidarity for anyone who’s ever dreaded their kids being invited to a birthday party. — CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro and why this is only part one 03:30 – Meet the guest: Pete Wharmby 12:00 – Transitions: What they are and why they’re so difficult 19:00 – Fear of the unknown 25:00 – Why birthday parties can be so anxiety-inducing 32:00 – Strategies for smoother transitions to the unknown 40:00 – School and powerlessness 48:00 – Holidays, Google Earth and visual planning 55:00 – Fear of the Known: Why school can feel like a punishment 1:03:00 – Processing struggles and instruction overload 1:13:00 – Fixable triggers and simple (free) accommodations 1:20:00 – The double-edged sword of hyperfocus 1:24:00 – Neurodiversity Champion: Fight For Ordinary 1:26:30 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:29:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:33:00 – Wrap-up and tease for part 2 — LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION: Pete Wharmby website - https://petewharmby.com/ Untypical by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/8gGK6v4 What I Want to Talk About, by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/6tY0kZQ Fight for Ordinary - https://disabledchildrenspartnership.org.uk/fight-for-ordinary/ Google Maps Street View - https://www.google.com/streetview/ Google Earth - https://earth.google.com/web/ Ordnance Survey Maps - https://shop.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/ Albion In The Community - https://bhafcfoundation.org.uk/ Monotropism and Autism Theory - https://monotropism.org/ Interoception - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/interoception-wellbeing — CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles — CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

In this episode of Neuroshambles, Mark Allen is joined by devoted dad and fellow Neuroshambler Mark Holborow, for a refreshingly honest look at the difficulties of holding down a job, while raising neurodivergent kids and trying (often unsuccessfully) to keep those two worlds from colliding. They discuss naked Zoom call interruptions and the emotional labour of school drop-offs, as well as the guilt, the resilience, and the accidental skillsets parents of ND kids develop. It’s a cathartic, relatable deep dive into the realities of navigating employment when your home life is anything but typical – with plenty of laughs, rants, and candid talk about autism, ADHD, PDA and neurodivergent parenting. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro & Listener Survey Feedback 05:30 – Meet the Guest: Mark Holborough 10:00 – The Challenges of working parents 16:30 – Working from Home with neurodifferent Kids 25:00 – Background chaos, interruptions and client calls 33:00 – The emotional guilt of being the breadwinner 40:00 – Supporting the non-working Parent 53:00 – How open can you be at work? 1:00:00 – Hiding a child at work: Real life stories 1:07:00 – Why parents of neuro-exceptional kids make great employees 1:13:00 – The economic cost of caring 1:26:00 – The Positives 1:29:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:33:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:37:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:41:00 – Wrap-up and thanks ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: https://forms.gle/2wFVupe4HumCYym6Ahttp://lse.ac.uk/cpec/assets/documents/Autismeconomics.pdfhttps://hdsunflower.com/https://www.bupa.co.uk/health/health-insurance-ppc-b ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

To kick off Season 3, Mark welcomes back Neuroshambles favourite Heidi Mavir - bestselling author, speaker, fearless advocate and proud neurodivergent parent - for a lively and cathartic deep dive into swearing. From F-bombs on the trampoline to grandparent-safe alternatives, they explore how language, context, and neurodivergent wiring all shape how (and why) our kids swear. This warm and witty episode unpacks the relationship between swearing and regulation, impulse control, PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), sensory overload, and social context. Expect plenty of laughs, the occasional C-bomb, and a ton of relatable chaos for anyone raising autistic, ADHD, or otherwise differently-wired kids. Whether you’re a proudly sweary household or struggling to police your neurodivergent child's potty-mouth moments, this episode is packed with nuance, honesty, and a surprising amount of empathy - even for those who hate bad language. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Welcome Back & Meet the Guest: Heidi Mavir 03:00 - School Turbulence, Burnout & Finding Your Flow 08:00 - Why Swearing Is This Week’s Topic 12:00 - What Is a Swear Word Anyway? 18:00 - Swearing, Context & Cultural Taboos 25:00 - Family Rules: “Nana Swears” vs “F-Bombs at Home” 33:00 - Parenting Through Swearing: Where Do You Draw the Line? 41:00 - PDA, Equalising Behaviour & Rage Rooms 50:00 - When the Swears Are Aimed at You 58:00 - Swearing as a Self-Regulation Strategy 1:03:00 - Should We Be Policing Swearing at All? 1:12:00 - Swearing and Impulse Control in ADHD 1:17:00 - Teaching Context Without Policing Expression 1:25:00 - Workarounds, Wordplay & Sweary Shenanigans 1:30:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:35:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:40:00 - Wrap-Up & Where to Find Heidi ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: https://www.heidimavir.com/https://amzn.eu/d/cjoih9Whttps://amzn.eu/d/91m7vochttps://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-is-pda/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWXazVhlyxQLindsay McGlone - https://www.instagram.com/rollinwithlindsay_/ https://lindsaymcglone.kartra.com/page/RMB2025 ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

In this season finale, Mark welcomes back the brilliant Lisa Galley (@school_run_mum_autism), who is an autism family consultant, ex-speech and language therapist, and mum of three grown-up autistic humans. Together, they discuss how the summer holidays are a very different experience for parents of neurodifferent kids and why the concept of a “relaxing summer” is more often myth than reality. Touching on the common parental feelings of boredom, guilt and the ever-present FOMO, this is a candid, humorous and occasionally insightful look at what we're going to be experiencing over the summer when it seems like we're house-bound with our autistic, ADHD and PDA kids. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro & Meet the Guest: Lisa Galley 04:00 - Introducing the topic of the week 06:30 - The burden of boredom 10:00 - Dealing with guilt of not providing the "perfect" summer 17:00 - The loss of spontaneity and the rampant FOMO 26:30 - The unspoken impact on working parents 30:00 - Attempting to go on holiday 34:00 - The importance of summer holidays for our kids 38:00 - Q&A: Answering listeners' summer holiday questions 41:00 - Testing out home education in the summer 45:00 - How to help yourself as a parent 47:30 - The challenges of co-parenting in the summer holidays 58:00 - Advice from listeners 1:03:00 - The positives of the summer holidays 1:05:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:08:30 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:11:30 - "What the Flip?" moments 1:16:30 - Outro and Season Wrap-Up ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: https://www.facebook.com/parentcarercheerleadingsquadhttps://www.caa.co.uk/passengers-and-public/special-assistance/accessing-special-assistance/https://were-not-your-typical-podcast-258bbca3.simplecast.com/https://pod.link/1442067009https://www.legoland.co.uk/plan-your-day/before-you-visit/accessibility/https://pod.link/1710455546/episode/2b5dc7973b418c9d6069ced370c409b9https://pod.link/1710455546/episode/19a31193017cd7413d681ff3b36119ebhttps://lisagalley.myflodesk.com/survival ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

In this episode of Neuroshambles, Mark is joined by returning guest Hatty Ashdown - not only a parent of a neurodivergent child, but also a brilliant comedian, writer and host of the Funny Mummies podcast. Together they dive into the deceptively simple but totally chaotic world of swimming. For children with autism, ADHD, PDA, and other forms of neurodivergency, swimming can be simultaneously a magical sensory experience and an absolute logistical nightmare. From the infuriating act of trying to get them to swim in the first place, to negotiating the changing room routine, navigating the lockers and dealing with their antics in the pool, Mark and Hatty share candid and hilarious tales of what it’s like to take your neuro-exceptional brood swimming - and why we keep doing it, despite the enormous faff. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro & Meet the Guest: Hatty Ashdown 06:00 - Topic of the Week: Swimming 09:00 - Why do neurodivergent kids love swimming? 15:00 - The challenge of teaching neurodivergent kids to swim 30:30 - The massive faff of a swimming trip: Hatty's routine 37:00 - The massive faff of a swimming trip: Mark's routine 42:00 - The chaos of changing rooms 46:30 - The stress of the lockers 53:00 - Shenanigans in the pool 59:30 - Losing their goggles 1:04:00 - The Positives: the joy of swimming 1:08:00 - Neurodiversity champions 1:12:00 - Tiny epic wins 1:15:00 - What the Flip? Moments 1:20:00 - Wrap-Up and Where to Find Hatty ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: • Hatty Ashdown’s Website – https://hattyashdown.com/ • Funny Mummies Podcast: Basics – https://pod.link/1451332466 • Funny Mummies Podcast: VIP (Patreon) – https://www.patreon.com/FunnyMummiesPodcast • Bella Ramsey (Neurodiversity Champion) – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bella_Ramsey ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

Following on from part 1, fan favourite Jo Matthews joins Mark once more for another laughter-filled, cathartic rant through the most mind-bogglingly ill-informed things people have said about raising autistic, ADHD, PDA and otherwise neurodivergent kids. This one features a fresh batch of well-meaning nonsense, unsolicited advice, and flat-out offensive comments submitted by Neuroshambles listeners. It’s funny, familiar, and frighteningly relatable. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro & Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews Returns 05:30 - "Have you tried a routine?" 10:30 - "Have you tried a parenting course?" 13:30 - “Have you tried changing their diet?” 17:00 - "Why don't you take their screens away?" 20:00 - "Does he have mild autism?" 25:30 - Good autism v bad autism 29:00 - “We’re all a bit autistic" 34:30 - "ADHD is just an excuse" 37:00 - “It doesn't define him” 41:00 - "There's nothing wrong with him" 43:00 - Medical v Social models of disability 47:30 - "My kid does that" 50:00 - “He'll eat when he's hungry" 52:30 - “He'll grow out of it" 54:30 - “He doesn't look autistic" 56:30 - “But, he can talk, so he can’t be autistic” 59:00 - “ADHD is just for boys” 1:01:30 - "What's wrong with him?" 1:02:30 - "I bet he's good at maths" 1:04:30 - "I don't know how you do it" 1:07:00 - Misguided empathy: "I know how you feel" 1:09:00 - "But I do that and I'm not autistic" 1:14:00 - The completely batshit mental comments 1:20:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:21:30 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:25:00 - "What the flip?" moments 1:27:30 - Wrap-up & contact info ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: The medical vs social models of disability: www.scope.org.uk/about-us/social-model-of-disability/ Autism assessments (AQ Test): www.embrace-autism.com/aq-10/#test www.bowles.rocks ⸻ CONTACT US 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

In this episode, Mark is joined once again by the brilliant Jo Matthews for a cathartic, hilarious, and occasionally sweary dive into the unfiltered reality of parenting autistic, ADHD and PDA kids. From "It's just a label" and "He’s fine with me" to "You just need to push them out of their comfort zone", this is part one of a two-part special on the unsolicited commentary we all get, whether it’s from strangers, family members, or well-meaning-but-utterly-wrong professionals. The kind of comments that pretend to be supportive but are really just dismissive, ignorant, or unhelpfully optimistic. Together, Mark and Jo share personal stories, listener submissions, and a few moments of pure rage-laughter, as they unpack why these statements cut so deep – and how to push back with humour, honesty, and the occasional incredulous raise of the eyebrow. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews 06:00 – “It's just a label” 08:00 - The story of Rube Waddell 16:00 - "Stop Mollycoddling your child" 21:00 - "You let them win too much" 22:30 - "Can't you just make them do it?" 26:00 - "You should make their home life more unpleasant" 28:00 - "Your parenting is wishy washy" 31:00 - "Children just need boundaries" 36:00 - "You need to push them out of their comfort zone" 43:00 - "Are you too afraid to say no?" 48:00 - "How will they manage in the real world?" 52:00 - "Sometimes, it's a choice" 54:00 - "They're just trying to get their own way" 01:02:00 - "They're fine when they're with me" 01:07:00 - The Positives 01:09:30 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:12:00 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:14:30 - What the Flip? 01:17:00 - Wrap-Up & What’s Coming in Part Two ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rube_Waddellhttps://drrossgreene.com/the-explosive-child.htm ⸻ CONTACT US 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

In this episode, Mark takes a typically sideways look at the idea of hobbies – those wholesome after-school activities that see neurotypical kids flourish… but which, for many neurodivergent families, are either a logistical nightmare, a sensory minefield, or a fast track to public meltdown. Joining him is the brilliant Nicole Bateman – podcast host (Conversations with a SEND Mum), former teacher, trainer, and founder of The Friendly SEND Advisor and Super Sensory Squad. Together, they explore the myths, pressures and downright ridiculousness of what “having hobbies” means when your kids are autistic, ADHD or PDA. They cover what actually works, what definitely doesn’t, and the benefits of learning to follow your neurodifferent child's lead, so you can meet them where they're at, rather than where you want them to be. ----more---- STUFF WE COVER: 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Nicole Bateman 03:00 – The fantasy of hobbies vs the reality 08:00 – Issues with trust and accessibility 13:00 – After-school clubs 18:00 – The Summer holiday hobby void 25:00 – Trying to force your neurodivergent children to have a hobby 33:00 – Social disconnect in group settings 39:00 – When your best intentions fail 44:00 - Environmental barriers to adopting a hobby 47:00 – Competitive Sport: Gift or Curse? 53:00 – Caesar-or-Nothing syndrome & hobby avoidance 59:00 – Drop-off disasters 1:07:00 – What *does* work? 1:12:00 – It's not all rubbish: A look at the positives 1:15:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:23:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:26:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:29:00 – Wrap-Up & Where to Find Nicole ----more---- LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: https://nicolebateman.co.uk/https://conversationswithasendmum.buzzsprout.com/https://www.thesupersensorysquad.com/https://www.scouts.org.uk/cubs/being-a-cub/joining-cubs/https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIzCFBxNzxThttps://amzn.eu/d/dSZA4dChttps://minecraftclub.co.uk/https://pressplayfilms.co.uk/https://boogiebeat.co.uk/smsportsolutions@gmail.com ----more---- CONTACT US 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ----more---- CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

This week, Mark dives into the chaotic, absurd and quite often traumatic world of shopping with neurodivergent children. If you’ve ever emerged from a supermarket having to impulse buy paracetamol just to get you through the shop, then this one’s for you. Joining Mark is the brilliant Helen Stuart – a mum of six (four of her own and two step-children - all diagnosed or suspected neurodivergent), home educator, and co-founder of Thrive Together Training. Between them, they dissect the minefield of supermarkets, the unpredictability of meltdowns triggered by automatic doors, sensory overwhelm, the trauma of shopping for clothes, rage waiting, and the unholy panic when you realise the supermarket has unexpectedly moved everything around. This is a laugh-out-loud, painfully relatable episode for anyone who has ever had lofty ambitions to do a quick “top up shop”, before ending up having to negotiate UN-level peace deals with your child in the frozen food aisle. STUFF WE COVER: 00:00 – Intro & Listener Feedback 02:00 – Meet the Guest: Helen Stuart 06:00 – Topic of the Week: Shopping 13:00 – Why Supermarkets Are Sensory Torture 19:00 – The Emotional Toll of Trolleys and Comments 25:00 – PDA Autonomy, Meltdowns, and the Elsa Cup Incident 33:00 – Supermarket Sweep, PDA-Style 39:00 – Self-Checkouts vs Human Interaction 45:00 – Clothing & Footwear Battles 52:00 – Lush, Libraries and Return Rage 59:00 – When Book Tokens Become a Poisoned Chalice 1:04:00 – The Positives (Yes, Really!) 1:10:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:16:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:20:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:23:00 – Wrap-Up & Thrive Together Info LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: PDA Society - Support and resources for families living with a PDA profile: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk Supermarket Sweep - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supermarket_Sweep_(British_game_show) Sunflower Lanyard Scheme - For invisible disabilities: https://hiddendisabilitiesstore.com Waterstones Book Tokens - https://www.waterstones.com/help/gift-cards-and-vouchers/32 H&M - https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/kids.html Skechers - https://www.skechers.co.uk/kids/ Lindsay's Swim School - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063580090089&sk=about Nelson Street Church, Rochdale - https://www.nelsonstreetchurch.org/ Thrive Together Training website – https://thrivetogethertraining.co.uk Thrive Together Training Facebook page – www.facebook.com/thrivetogethertraining Thrive Together Training Instagram account – www.instagram.com/thrivetogethertraining ⸻ CONTACT US 🎧 Do you have a “What the flip?” moment or a tiny epic win to share? 📧 Email us: hello@neuroshambles.com ⸻ FOLLOW US 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme tune by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

In this long-overdue episode, Mark is joined by the brilliant Helen Daniel, who is a qualified teacher, sensory mentor, public speaker and founder of Outside the Box Sensory, as they dig into the myriad challenges of early years education and what it means for our neurodivergent kids. Helen brings a unique perspective not only as a parent of an autistic child (diagnosed autistic, suspected ADHD), but also as a late-diagnosed autistic ADHD-er herself, and a former teacher who’s seen the system from the inside out. Together, she and Mark pick apart the weird rituals, unrealistic milestones and baffling expectations of primary school - and why it often ends up being a really poor fit for neurodivergent kids. From sensory overload and academic gaslighting to the slow-burning isolation that builds in the school playground (for kids and parents alike), this one is jam-packed with insight, shared experiences and the usual healthy dose of humorous venting. ⸻ STUFF WE COVER: 00:00 – Intro & Listener Message 01:45 – Meet the Guest: Helen Daniel 06:00 – Topic of the Week: Early Years & School 21:00 – Sensory Profiles and Unrealistic Expectations 34:00 – ND Communication Styles & Social Hierarchies 47:00 – Parent Isolation and Drop-Off Struggles 56:30 – School Pickup Dread & Neurodivergent Burnout 1:03:00 – What Needs to Change in Education 1:04:45 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:09:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:14:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:17:00 – Wrap-Up & Helen’s Book Plug ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Outside the Box Sensory (Helen’s website for talks, training and resources) - https://outsidetheboxsensory.com Follow Helen on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/otbsensory Follow Helen on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/outsidetheboxsensory Helen’s book – Neurosensory Divergence: Autistic Languages and Inclusion (Amazon): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CV4PSMH7 The Double Empathy Problem – Dr. Damian Milton: https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academics Heidi Mavir Neuroshambles Empathy Episode - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-avrx7-17af07c Pete Wharmby Neuroshambles Masking Episode - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-cke9u-18156f6 Progressive Education – Resources for alternative provision and inclusive practice: https://www.progressiveeducation.org Grove Neurodivergent Mentoring & Education – Interest-based communities for ND kids: https://www.gr0ve.org/ Silent Disco - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_disco ⸻ CONTACT US 🎧 Got a “What the flip?” moment or a tiny epic win to share? 📧 Email us: hello@neuroshambles.com ⸻ FOLLOW US 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme tune by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

Have you ever felt like the odd one out in your own family? In this episode, Mark chats with Kirsty Hockenhull, a fellow self-diagnosed neurotypical in the midst of a chaotic, neurodivergent household. They discuss how it feels to be the lone neurotypical in a family teeming with autism, ADHD, and PDA - touching on everything from helping them navigate everyday social conventions to how to cope when your emotional needs are the only ones not being accommodated for. They discuss the challenges of bridging two worlds - interpreting “neurotypical” rules for neurodivergent loved ones, while also learning where those same social norms should be thrown out of the window altogether. There are candid insights into parenting styles, navigating brutal honesty (“Mum, why are you so old?” or “Dad, you should iron your face!”), and the realisation that sometimes your greatest strength is simply having enough “spoons” to hold it all together. Finally, there’s a celebration of the positive side: how being the lone neurotypical can be a privilege in its own right, helping you see the world from an entirely new perspective and become a better parent—and person—along the way. ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Pizza Express - https://www.pizzaexpress.com/ The Great Escape - https://greatescapefestival.com/ Wife Swap - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife_Swap_(British_TV_series) Gorilla Gym - https://amzn.eu/d/bpK6C0G Angela Barnes – https://www.angelabarnescomedy.co.uk/ The Stimming Pool - https://www.thestimmingpool.com/ Electric Palace Cinema, Hastings - https://www.electricpalacecinema.com/ Lucy Bronze – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xriJ8wZm1w4 ⸻ CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions, or any “What the flip?” moments you’d like to share, feel free to email us: hello@neuroshambles.com ⸻ FOLLOW US Instagram: instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: threads.net/@neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ Thank you for listening and being part of the Neuroshambles community. If you enjoyed this episode, please tell a friend, leave a review, or share it on social media. Have a nice life!

This episode shines a light on the tricky subject of parental burnout, which isn't widely discussed in relation to the challenges of raising neurodifferent kids. Mark chats with the magnificent Liz Evans of "The Untypical OT Talks" podcast, who is a parent of a 14-year old boy (undiagnosed neurotypical) and a 13-year old boy (diagnosed autistic, with sensory processing difficulties and suspected Ehlers Danlos Syndrome). Liz discusses her own experiences of parental burnout, and shares her knowledge of how to spot the signs of impending burnout, before offering guidance on strategies we can implement to avoid it happening to us - because let's face it, many parents of neurodivergent kids are constantly dancing around the edges of it. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Together For Send Conference, Bristol - https://www.bristolparentcarers.org.uk/events/togetherforsend2025/ The Untypical OT website - https://the-untypical-ot.co.uk/ The Untypical OT podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/0L6K6RwcErY5Z9tggI40F3?si=d32fc06ab7ca4c60 The Untypical OT podcast (Heidi Mavir episode) - https://open.spotify.com/episode/49CtSzTKt8WStCL6bo8d5h?si=gVjZWlSgSj23eHJoMIGxWA Workplace Burnout - https://www.who.int/news/item/28-05-2019-burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon-international-classification-of-diseases Brené Brown short film on Empathy - https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw?si=nRHnjrN2pb4jZ-W7 Super Good Bikers For Autism - https://www.supergoodbikersforautism.com/ The Stimming Pool - https://www.thestimmingpool.com/ CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/

In this special episode, Mark speaks to Tam, who is his former partner, current co-parent and long time friend. They discuss the long and arduous diagnosis journeys of their three neuro-exceptional kids, who each followed completely different routes in the UK - from NHS/CAMHS and private diagnosis, to the "Right to Choose" pathway. This is a uniquely intimate and candid episode, where both parents reflect on the emotional rollercoaster of seeking diagnoses for Jay (11, diagnosed autistic/ADHD), Otto (9, diagnosed autistic/ADHD) and India (suspected autistic/ADHD... until now). By a strange quirk of fate, the recording date of this episode fell on the same day they received the results of India's autism assessment, so you can hear their reaction to this, just moments after receiving the news, as they consider what it now means for their family. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: CAMHS - https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/your-guide-to-support/guide-to-camhs/ The Effra Clinic - https://www.effraclinic.co.uk/ Right To Choose - https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/about-the-nhs/your-choices-in-the-nhs/ All Dogs Have ADHD - https://amzn.eu/d/8Tzq6dj All Cats Are on the Autism Spectrum - https://amzn.eu/d/byZg2mQ ADHDUK - https://adhduk.co.uk/ Heba App (formerly Hibi) - https://www.heba.care/ CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/

This episode takes a deep dive into why so many of our neurodivergent children feel the need to mask their autistic traits in social situations. Mark chats to fabulous guest, Pete Wharmby, who, as well as being a parent of a 10 year old girl (suspected autistic, but if anyone's going to be able to spot one, it's Pete), is also an author, a tutor, a conference speaker and a prolific advocate for the neurodivergent community. As an autistic/ADHD adult, he offers some frank and honest insights into some of the masking behaviours he employed when he was a child. This fascinating and wide ranging conversation looks at what masking is, why our kids do it and the many strategies they use to hide their autistic traits in many staunchly neurotypical environments. They also discuss some masking strategies used by people with ADHD, before looking at the harmful impact masking can have in the long term if accommodations aren't made. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Pete Wharmby's website - https://petewharmby.com/ "Untypical" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/35cWwBh Alexis Quinn - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/stories/stories-from-the-spectrum-alexis-quinn University of Edinburgh study in autistic communication with other autistics - https://salvesen-research.ed.ac.uk/our-projects/autistic-autistic-communication Autistic code switching - https://myautismmind.com/autism-masking/ Autistic Girls Network - https://autisticgirlsnetwork.org/ Lego hidden disabilities sunflower - https://hdsunflower.com/uk/insights/post/the-lego-group-joins-hidden-disabilities-sunflower "What I Want To Talk About" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/3HoKSt9 CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/

This episode deals with the familiar frustration of having to deal with the experts who are gatekeepers to the accommodations our neurodifferent kids need. From teachers, whose evidence you have to seek in order to get a diagnosis, to CAMHS specialists, GPs, occupational therapists and paediatricians - the list of professionals we need to interact with is dizzying. Mark talks to wonderful guest Charlotte Mountford, parent to three neurodivergent boys: a 17-year old (suspected autistic), a 14-year old (diagnosed autistic) and a 13-year old (diagnosed autistic, suspected ADHD). Mark and Charlotte swap stories of their own experiences with experts - both good and bad, and discuss how to react when you realise that you actually know more than the professional in front of you. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: "Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell - https://amzn.eu/d/91hZpN4 Dean Beadle Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/deanbeadlespeaker/ Dean Beadle Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/dean.beadlespeaker Dan Beadle YouTube - https://youtube.com/@deanbeadleuk Eliza Fricker - https://missingthemark.co.uk/ Kieran Rose - https://theautisticadvocate.com/ "Bilal's Bad Day" by Neelum Khan - https://amzn.eu/d/5amH9zO "Neurotypicals don't juggle chainsaws" podcast - https://neurotypicalsdontjugglechainsaws.co.uk/ Liz Evans: The Untypical OT - https://the-untypical-ot.co.uk/ Badger Education Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/badger.education Badger Education Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Badger.Education.Inclusive.Supports Badger Education Free PDF - https://badger-education.co.uk/reasonable-adjustments-opt-in-2893 CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/

Mark talks to the tremendous Rebecca Huseyin, who is a blogger, trainer, neurodiversity advocate and Mum of a neurodifferent son (13, diagnosed autistic with a PDA profile and suspected ADHD). They swap tales of the ludicrous lengths they go to when trying to navigate personal hygiene tasks, such as cleaning hands, wiping faces, brushing teeth, having baths, cutting fingernails and wiping bums. There are some hilarious anecdotes of the lengths to which Mark and Rebecca go to encourage their kids to engage in hygiene tasks - from fake drowning them in the bath, cleaning their teeth like a Victorian ghost and introducing the concept of "special dry". LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: The Lighter Side of PDA Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/LighterPDA/ Rebecca Huseyin blog (A Boy Less Ordinary) - https://aboylessordinary.com/ SENDIASS - (Google for your local county SENDIASS details) PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ Proprioception and Interoception: https://www.autismspeaks.org/sensory-issues Oranurse unflavoured toothpaste - https://oranurse.co.uk/unflavoured-toothpaste/ Little teeth toothpaste - https://www.aquafresh.com/en-gb/our-products/kids-oral-care/little-teeth-toothpaste/ Big teeth toothpaste - https://www.aquafresh.com/en-gb/our-products/kids-oral-care/big-teeth-toothpaste/ The Prism Cat - https://linktr.ee/KyraChambers Tesco Mobile Sensory Box - https://bettersociety.net/tesco-mobile-sensory-box.php Insanity Arcade, Poole - https://www.insanityarcade.com/home CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/

Mark welcomes back the phenomenal Heidi Mavir, who is an author, a neurodivergent advocate, activist, public speaker and Mum of a neurodifferent son (20, diagnosed autistic with a tic disorder, as well as suspected dyslexia and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome). They pick up on a topic they very briefly touched on in the previous episode they recorded, which is whether there's any truth to the commonly-held belief that autistics don't feel empathy (spoiler alert - that view is abject nonsense). They dissect the very concept of empathy to try and understand why it's viewed as so important to neurotypicals, what "the double empathy problem" is and why our kids' way of displaying and responding to empathy is so varied. This is a genuinely insightful episode that gives a lot of food for thought when considering whether our own kids are able to feel empathy. LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Heidi Mavir EOTAS Matters website - https://www.heidimavir.com/ "Your Child Is Not Broken" by Heidi Mavir - https://amzn.eu/d/8di4y0X "Why Can't I Just Enjoy Things?" by Pierre Novellie - https://amzn.eu/d/fd51tDR "How To Win Friends and Influence People" - https://amzn.eu/d/fd51tDR The Double Empathy Problem - https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academics/ "I Didn't See You There" by Charlotte Gail - [Available end of January. Link will be added here later] Sesame Street Introduce Autistic Character - https://youtu.be/dKCdV20zLMs Muppet Christmas Carol - https://youtu.be/JXaVI60BFJM Heidi Mavir on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@heidimavir CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com FOLLOW US Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/