Remarkability Institute with Bart Queen

Bart: Hey guys, it is so great to be with you. And I'm so excited for you to meet our guests today. Now you all know that I love to share quotes. And when I think about this young woman, two quotes definitely come to my mind. The first one is this. If you believe in yourself and believe in your mission, People will believe in you and your mission and follow you. [00:02:07] And the second quote is if one, someone, once someone believes in you, you can not fail both of those quotes, really just highlight. Who Kara is and what Kara is all about, and what she does with the young people that she mentors and leads and works with at Virginia Tech, I met. Kara several years ago when I was working for a client in the outer banks of North Carolina. [00:02:42] And since then, she and I have walked a similar path. We've grown together. We've experienced the ups and downs that life has brought us. So it is with great joy and an absolute treat to have her with us today. If there's one thing that Kara and I have in common, it's the fact that we believe our youth are our future. [00:03:05] We would also believe that our youth are our future voice and that our youth are our future change. So as we spend our short amount of time together, what I'd like you to do is begin to see a share as Cara shares, how inner confidence in these young people change the complete trajectory of where their lives have come. [00:03:32] I want you to begin to see how, when they found their voice and they exercise their voice, they were on the right path. They were in the right direction, and they were able to lead change. Kara. And I timed came to know each other as a result of an initiative that I took in 2008 and reaching out to an organization in Kenya. [00:03:54] Now, many of you may have heard this story. There was a woman in my class who said that her parents owned an orphanage. And I said, if you find any value, I'm happy to come to that orphanage. Now that was in 2008. I had the privilege and the honor of working with 60 young people. 60 young people in an orphanage. [00:04:15] Most of them with only one set of clothes, very few of them with any shoes. And they got one meal a day. But at the end of that experience, I saw lives transformed because they gained inner confidence. Not because of anything that I necessarily did, but because they began to believe in themselves. And some people reinforced that idea that they were worth something. [00:04:43] Kara. I am so excited to have you with us today to be a part of our guests and share your story. Welcome wall. [00:04:53] Cara: Thanks, Bart. I'm excited to be here and excited to be talking to you as always. It's always a pleasure. [00:04:59] Bart: Now I know you're known at work as the boss lady, but could you tell us a little bit about what your title is? [00:05:07] Outside of the boss lady, of course, [00:05:10] Cara: outside of the boss lady, that's at home and pers at personally and professionally, I should note, [00:05:19] Bart: we need to get your husband on here then. Cause we need to probably talk about that [00:05:24] Cara: conveniently. He is working on a sidewalk for his grandparents, but we'll say that's [00:05:30] Bart: my fault. [00:05:32] Cara: I'm an academic advisor at an institution, a higher education institution. So I do a lot of coaching and mentoring. That means that I. Usually, the bread and butter of what I do is plans of study. If you think about an academic advisor, the reality of what I do is really the coaching and mentoring and leading and guiding portion of my job. [00:05:57] So I fell into academic advising and a bit of an unconventional way. Originally I wanted to be a wedding planner. There's a. Long string of events between wedding planning and academic advising, but I have always had a passion for helping and mentoring, and guiding people. [00:06:16] Bart: Tell us just a little bit more about this path that you just shared. [00:06:21] What was the catalyst...

In preparation for today's interview, Bart was digging into Gary Keller's book called "One Thing" which highlighted three things for Bart: Communication takes a lifetime to master. Thomas has seen his journey with mastering communication as an opportunity to focus on the path and not the destination. He is part of the theological program at the Shepherds Institute. He was involved in an organization called Send international and spent a year in Russia and we dive into his experience in this episode. They were teaching English in a summer camp format during their time in Russia. Thomas shares about what the three biggest challenges to overcome. 1. The cultural differences 2. How to show people we love them without words, but through emotions and body language 3. Working with the church about logistics without a shared language and vocabulary. We discuss overcoming the often negative stereotypes of Americans in Russia which Thomas described as an uphill battle. We discussed how in any communication there is a difference between perception and reality. That gap is called disparity. When addressing a group of people the perception of how you might perceive it is going as the communication may be different than the way the listeners are perceiving. The goal of successful communication is learning to close that gap. Thomas described hurdles he faced when trying to close that disparity gap during his time in Russia. Understanding what they needed and what they were looking for when they attended class versus what he thought they needed. This fits perfectly into an idea often discussed in classes by Bart which is being listener focused instead of teacher-focused. Thomas also discussed how cultural differences communicated more than he intended. For example, when offered tea, he may have refused because he preferred water or not wanting people to go through the trouble of preparing tea, but in Russian culture sharing tea was a staple and often people would be offended by his refusal of tea. Thomas also shared about his wife's experience as a woman in Russia, which is a largely patriarchal society. We discussed the power of a woman's voice in effective communication and transforming lives. When asked about what's next, Thomas shared some potential plans they have for their future. We spent time talking about the cultural differences between churches in Russia to churches in America. For example, there is less influence of consumerism, mostly smaller, there are small changes in government restrictions.

Nelson Mandella said, "Education is the most powerful weapon that you can use to change the world." Tina is a great example of the idea of taking education and using it as a weapon to produce change. Giving students the power to communicate helps them with college interviews, presentations, and sets a foundation for key relationships in their lives. In 2008, Bart was able to travel to Kenya to work with juniors and seniors in an orphanage. It was during this trip that Bart felt called to give a million people their voice. It was during this time that Tina asked Bart to consider coming to her high school and working with her students. Tina is a dedicated teacher who goes above and beyond with her students. Bart has worked on and off with Tina and her students over a six-year period and they talk about the effects of investing in the communication skills of these young people. "It has been transformational both for the students and in my life to see these young people that have struggles beyond what we could imagine walking into your class and in three days walk out transformed." - Tina Tina shares examples of students who experienced transformation in their confidence to speak and engage with others and share their beliefs as they learn to live their purpose. Guadalupe was a young woman who took the class and went from a young lady with low self-esteem to the next year running for homecoming queen. "I think that's what this class does better than anything, it empowers the student to be their best self." - Tina

Welcome to the remarkability Institute. This is Bart Queen, your host. Today. I am very excited about the program I've been doing around virtual communication. If you're joining us for the very first time today, what I've covered over the last podcasts, you're not going to want to miss. So make sure you go back. [00:01:24] the very first one, I gave a high-level overview of what a virtual meeting really needs to look like. That there were three major buckets to that. There's the pre virtual meeting. There's the actual virtual meeting. And then there's the post virtual meeting. And in my first podcast, I spent a fair amount of time on each one of those. [00:01:48] On the last podcast, I began to dive into the actual virtual meeting's actual content structure. Now guys, one of the things I shared was that most people think that 90% of the struggle is actually doing the meeting. It's actually now me interacting with the technology, and the student it's wrong. [00:02:10] It's really only 10%. 90% of the struggle is getting them to come to your meeting, getting them there, and then number two, driving them to action. Once it's done, it's not the actual meeting itself. It's getting them there, getting them to commit. And then how do I drive them? What's the action to take them forward. [00:02:34]The third piece that I shared was that idea around the actual content structure. And I shared several pins principles that are the foundation for us to build from today's podcast is actually getting into the content structure components, the actual components, as you began to craft content. So now, if you are at home, you're in your office, your listing, you have a place where you can have pen and paper. [00:03:05] I will definitely be able to take some notes, guys. I think you'll find some interesting things you can use immediately. And if you happen to be driving in your car, maybe, you can relisten to this again. You can turn your phone on record and listen from that perspective. That way you'll have some notes, guys. [00:03:23] All right. So the versed very first key component that we want to look at in content structure is what I call your three teas. Now, your three teas are your topic, your theme, and your title. When I'm coaching someone. And I ask them, do me a favor and write down your topic. Most people will give me a title. [00:03:49] Guys, what's the number one purpose of a title, whether you're writing or you're speaking, [00:03:54]most of you will say something to give the listener or the reader a sense of what you're talking about. Incorrect. The number one purpose of a title is to grab someone's attention period. I want you to start getting creative with your titles. Now with the title, you're allowed two subtitles, one subtitle, clarity to the topic. [00:04:21] the Second subtitle benefits the listener or the reader, depending on what you're trying to accomplish. I want you the next time. You're. Going to spend a Sunday at a Barnes and Noble or a bookstore. You're just going to hang out, drink coffee, look at magazines and look at a couple of books. Look at how that principle is lived out on almost every single book that you pick up. [00:04:44] What makes you pick up the book? It's either the title or the picture of the book. And then you look at the subtitles, which give you clarity into that title. A topic is the bull's eye center of what you're trying to talk about. So let's say the topic is just, it could be XYZ solution. It could be risk. It could be security. [00:05:10] It could be happiness. It could be humor. It could be anything, but you've pinpointed that topic down to something, boil that as simple as you can make it. Your theme is a common thread that you run through your content, a mountain climbing theme. A gardening thing, a physical fitness theme, any type of theme that you feel like you'd like to run through it. [00:05:38] Guys, this is a tremendous opportunity for you to share a little bit...

Welcome to the remarkability Institute. This is Bart Queen, your host. If you joined us last week, I began a series on virtual communication. And last week, I spent the majority of our time together giving you the structure of what the meeting needed to look like. I shared with you that there were three key pieces to do it, doing something virtually successfully. [00:01:29] Number one, there's the pre virtual meeting, getting all the logistics set up there is the actual meeting itself. Whether you're on Microsoft teams, you're on WebEx; you're on zoom, whatever kind of a platform you're using. And then there's the post virtual. Meeting critical to drive the listener forward the organization forward, get them to take the action steps that you so desire. [00:01:58] This is the second major piece of that, and this is around the actual virtual meeting. But within that virtual meeting, you must have some type of structure that you can work with then. And all the world travel that I've had an opportunity to do in my 30 years of working with this skillset and helping organizations. [00:02:26] One of the key things that I always enjoy is the architectural structures of things that I've had the privilege of seeing walking on the great wall of China, seeing. No true Dom seeing sacred heart, seeing things in the United States, seeing buildings and architecture all over the world. Now having spent most of my life in the Bay area as my home, that part of the world had two structures that I always admired. [00:03:01] One is the golden gate bridge and the other. It is the Hoover dam. Both of those structures to me are just mind-boggling about how they were built, how they've created, how they have been timely and timeless, and what they brought to you. And I not only visually, but to get from one side of the bay to the other and in the Hoover dam to produce electricity and just the visual sight of such a structure. [00:03:36] Most people. When we talk about structure, they want to fight me on this idea around content. They will say, Bart, that's not me. It constricts me. It makes me feel like it's too tight. I'm just one of those guys. That's gotta be pure freestyle. I love those people. Whether you want to be freestyle or you, want to work within a structure that you are authentic to who you are, but I want you to realize that in my example of. [00:04:05] The golden gate bridge and the Hoover dam that structure, the structure that they use gives the bridge and the dam strength. It allows it to be continuous. It allows it to be consistent. It allows it to be timely and timeless and what it brings to us. I want your content, whether you're talking personally or professionally. [00:04:31] To be timely and timeless with the people that you're sharing it with. One of the key things that will help you be successful in any communication situation is having a content structure that you work with them. Now today, guys are I dive into that second aspect around virtual communication. [00:04:57] What I want you to do is walk away with the elements of the content structure that you can use anywhere. Why it is so important in the virtual world is because the level of complexity, intensity, and confusion can skyrocket purely because of the mode that we're communicating in. When it's face to face, we can reduce some of those things. [00:05:22] But if we take these exponential factors that we have to deal with, we have to think of ways to make it seamless, effortless, make it so a listener can retain the information and, more importantly, in my mind so that they remember it. Remember, if you spend any time with me at all, you've heard me say, it's not about how do I tell them more. It's how do I get them to remember more? [00:05:47] That becomes so critical. I want to make sure that your content, whether it's five minutes, 50 minutes, or five hours, you're doing a whole day kind of an event that people walk out the door, absorbing what you said,...

But remember, in the virtual world, everything is compounded. It's compounded more difficult and the challenges that you're facing. So how do I counterbalance and find all that? Now those are just some principles that are the foundation to you being successful virtually. Now let me mention some communications statistics, I think, are always important to keep in front of you. [00:01:24] Don't let go of these. In a face to face situation, you have 30 seconds to engage that audience. That's all you get is 30 seconds. Anything after that far more difficult in the virtual world. You have eight seconds, so if you have not said something in the first eight seconds in this virtual meeting that you're doing on your podcast, on your conference call, that engages the audience more difficult. [00:01:52] So you don't have the time to say, good afternoon, guys. Let's give everybody a chance to settle in. You've already lost because now I'm doing my email. I'm trying to catch up on what I need to get done. [00:02:02]The second statistic I want you to become aware of is what I call the four to six-minute kind of a rule. Every four to six minutes, you have got to change it up. Now in the face-to-face world, guys that could mean stand up, sit down. If you're doing something up on a big stage, move from the left to the right of the right to the left move forward or backward, depending on what you're trying to accomplish and our virtual world, it could mean stop and ask a question. [00:02:30] It could mean change slides. Anything that you can do now, this principle is based on a typical 30-minute American sitcom. If you study one of those guys, you'll see that every four to six minutes, you typically get an advertisement. The producers are brilliant at keeping you involved in that 30-minute story. [00:02:55] So I want you to have that same type of brilliance and say every 46 minutes, I change. I need to change it up. I'll get systems engineers who will come in and say to me, Bart; we are going to do a. Demo. It's a four-hour demo with a customer. My response is you're crazy. Who's going to be looking at a demo seated in front of a computer for four hours. [00:03:20] This is just not going to happen. It's hard to keep a focus for an hour 30 minutes. You're pushing it. So if that's the case, how do I create that kind of interaction and banter? Keep them focused and change it up every four to six minutes. [00:03:37] The other thing I want you to remember, and this goes across the board. I find this statistic fascinating. Our face to face communication really takes up. People will argue anywhere from 70 to about 95% of what you do on a day to day basis. A very small percentage is what you and I would call public speaking or presenting. [00:04:01] That's not the number I want you to remember. The number I want you to remember is that all of that 78 to 95%, 40 to 60% of what you communicate, gets forgotten. So let's just take a look at this podcast, guys. Now, this is roughly going to be 30 minutes. I'm going to have to face the fact that 50% of what I tell you will forget. [00:04:30] So the question for me is not, how do I slam dunk more information into this podcast for you? I could speak so fast that you could not keep up. That doesn't serve me. It doesn't serve you. So the question is, how do I communicate in this 30 minutes with you so that you walk out the door and share a principle or two with someone else? [00:04:55] If you're driving in your car on your way to work and you got to work and say, I just listened to a podcast from Bart, and he talked about this one principle. I think we should try to integrate that into what we're doing. Then we both win. That's what I want for you. [00:05:10]Now, I've laid out some challenges that we've got to overcome. And I laid out some statistics that give us a foundation to build from. So now, let's really take a look at the virtual meeting structure. Now, when I say that, most of you will think...

Welcome to the remarkability Institute. This is Bart Queen, your host. I am especially excited for the four-part series that I will run over the next couple of weeks on virtual communication guys. I think we're in the absolute perfect storm. So let's take a look at what's happening right now. [00:01:27] Number one technology is constantly improving, and the competitive advantage is to have the right technology in the right situation. Number two, where we're working really hard, no matter what industry you're in, whether you're with a big company or an entrepreneur, to somehow have that cutting edge, that one thing that inches you above everybody else. [00:01:57] And then, of course, we are currently facing world challenges, both from a health perspective and from other political and business perspectives. When all of those come together in my mind, we're facing really the perfect storm. I believe that you and I have the ability to overcome that perfect storm. [00:02:22] And I believe one of the things that we can do to do that is to be able to master the way we communicate from a virtual perspective. Most of us, especially if you're in sales, especially if you do any type of customer-facing situation, face the importance of being face to face and having a conversation. [00:02:43] But if we look at the challenge that the world is throwing us right now, some of that opportunity is taken from us. So how do we find a place? How do we take what we've normally done face to face, where you feel comfortable, take all that strength. And now somehow put it in this virtual format into this black box into technology, into a computer screen and take your personality and make it come forward through that in this four-part series, I'm going to cover two major buckets bucket. [00:03:24] Number one, I'm going to spend a fair amount of time. On the actual overall look at what this virtual communication should be, meaning that I believe that there are three key pieces. There is pre your virtual meeting. There's the actual meeting, and there's a post virtual meeting. That's the first two segments. [00:03:46] So really looking at what your meeting should look like. And the second piece, two parts. Again, I'm going to break that up into the structure that I believe will help you communicate the most effectively. What I want you to do is not only become virtually literate. I want you to become virtually fluent in how you communicate with your -clients, with your customers, with the people you need to interface with. [00:04:20] What I want you to do today is began to learn at a higher level. Some of the aspects that you need to build awareness around and begin to incorporate them into the way you're communicating virtually. I want to make sure that in these next four sessions, you come across as confident you come across as conversational, no different than if you were having a coffee cup at Starbucks. [00:04:49] And I want to make sure that you have the ability to just connect with the people that you're communicating virtually. Yes. So let's really begin to dive into this, and what it looks like from my perspective, we've got some virtual challenges that we've gotta be able to take a look at and begin to figure out how we're going to handle. [00:05:14] Most people, if you look at the virtual world, are going to say that the biggest challenge is the actual meeting. The biggest challenge is right now; I'm using zoom. I'm using a webcast. I'm using Microsoft teams. I'm using some flop platform to communicate with my customer, my listeners right now; this moment is the biggest challenge. [00:05:39] I don't believe that's true. Correct. The biggest challenge you and I face is getting people to schedule commit to coming to your meeting to your virtual situation, to your virtual training class, to your virtual sales call. I think that's one of the bigger challenges. And the second one is then once you've got them to commit, [00:06:02]...

Jeff shares a heart-wrenching story about the kid's at his son's high school raising money for Josh, whose grandfather was hit and killed by a car while picking him up from the bus. He felt powerless and knew he needed to do something to help make it right. After meeting with a bunch of guys, they decided to build him a house from scratch. Bart met him after hearing this story and brought a camera crew to help tell the story. This led to a lifetime friendship between the two. Later, Jeff introduced him to Yogi. Jeff felt called to serve at the AME church in Birmingham and believed Bart's communication courses could benefit some of the women at his church. So Bart, already committed to the power of story, spent 3 days unpacking some powerful communication tools for Yogi and the women at the AME Church. Although she was currently a performer, she felt it would be important for her to attend. She has gone through many struggles in her life and went into it with the attitude of learning to tell her story with courage and heart. One of her key takeaways was thinking of the audience and what they take away or remember from your story. Yogi shared about the challenges she faced, how she overcame them, and the lessons that she can share with you that can apply to your life. Jeff shares his experience of being a white man in a predominantly black church and what he has learned from his experience. Jeff has learned the lesson of relevant vulnerability. Being able to share our weaknesses and what we have overcome is more impactful. Our words are containers that hold things. They either hold people up or tear them down. Three keys that Yogi hit on: Key takeaways that Jeff hit on: Bart shares his cancer experience and completely losing his voice and the resulting goals he added to his life.

Bart: Welcome to the remarkability Institute. This is Bart Queen your host. Now, if you've been following me over the last couple of weeks, we've really been focusing in on some ideas around trust. In last week's episode, I gave you more of a high level overview of some trust concepts. I talked about the challenges that we face in building trust. [00:02:02] I gave you some ideas around the benefits, the things that will come to us as a result of working through our trust. And then I really looked at it a deep dive in building trust from a visual perspective, as a communicator, from a verbal perspective, meaning more your content. And then from a vocal perspective, the idea on how you say things. [00:02:27] Today's episode is a followup to what I covered last week. Now I come back to this idea that if you Google the number one trusted person in America, you're going to find that the name Tom Hanks comes up. But if you Google, what's the number one authentic person in the world. You will get zero. If you, Google. [00:02:53] Who is the richest person in America. You'll find currently today, or when I Googled it, you'll get Jeff. So what I find interesting is that we can't pinpoint someone around authenticity, but we can pinpoint someone around trust. I come back to the idea that I shared with you last week. That's so very important in my mind that we need to look at trust as a critical factor that we focus in on. [00:03:22] It is not something that you should leave to what I call the whim that you don't really think about. And last week, I gave you a challenge that when you wake up in the morning, before your feet hit the floor that you ask yourself, what's a number, one thing I can do today to build trust lost with my spouse, my child, a family member, or one of my good friends. [00:03:46] And I had you keep it in the context of that close family idea before you start making an application to your customers or your clients, in this session. What I want you to do is begin to learn and understand some ideas around what I call credibility templates. And I want you to take those templates, build with them and begin to build your credibility in the market place differently. [00:04:16] I want you to get rid of what I call, show up and throw up about your credibility. How many times have you heard someone say this good afternoon? My name is Bart. I'm with XYZ company. Our company's been around for 35 years. We've got X number of employees. Our revenue is X. We're a global company, and we're a leader in this. [00:04:41] And you hear these long string of things, and you'll roll your eyes. If you're the customer, especially, and you say, who cares? I thought you came here to help me building your credibility by just giving a list of resume. It is probably not the most effective way to do it. I am saying I don't share that information. [00:05:05] What I am sharing I am saying is don't make that the first thing out of your mouth builds your credibility uniquely stand out so that they can remember you. So I come back to where I started. This is something that you should take a look at critically and not leave to a whim. And what I want you to do is understand these credibility templates and be able to apply them. [00:05:32] Now, here's what I know. You're going to find; you're going to build stronger relationships. You're going to create deeper connections, and you're going to be able to expand and make your ability to influence people far greater. One of my favorite quotes is from John Maxwell. That leadership is nothing more or nothing less than pure influence. Your ability to influence your friends, your family, and your clients is critical to your success. [00:06:02] So, let me come back and just review two pieces of foundational information I shared in the last episode that really the effectiveness of our communication relies more on the character of the message than the content of the message. But most of us feel like it's...

Welcome to the remarkability Institute. This is Bart Queen, your host. I'm incredibly excited today. As we dive into a different communication topic, I was having a conversation with a colleague earlier in the week. We ended up boiling down things into three major kinds of buckets. Again, number one. [00:01:59] Building the conversation, number two, building the connection, and then building your confidence. And as we got into a discussion on each one of those topics, I made the point that the number one thing that every one of us should do in building our confidence is to focus more on building our trust factor. [00:02:24] And when I, when he, when I said that to him, he said, what do you mean by this idea of a trust factor? I had shared with him earlier that we had three major goals of building trust, building relationships, and building engagement and building that trust factor is critical to our success—both personally and professionally. [00:02:45] I also mentioned to him that for most of us, Trust is something that we leave to a whim. It's not something that we strategically look at it and layout a game plan. Most of us don't get up every day and say, Hmm, how do I build trust with my wife or husband? How do I build deeper trust with my children? [00:03:11] I don't know how you'd build a deeper trust with my best buddy or friend. We don't even think about that with the customer. We know that with a customer, it's critical to build trust because they're not going to buy or deal with this or have a relationship with us if we don't come across as trustworthy. [00:03:29] But I come back to the idea. Most of us just look at it more from a whim than from looking at more at a strategic kind of. The focused thing that you're going to think about today. I want you to focus on that, the idea of how do you build your trust factor. And guys, as we discuss this, I would like you to put it in context, more of the people that are immediately around you, your spouse, your significant other, a child, a good friend, a family member. [00:04:06] Or a close client, but I want the circle to be pretty tight as we look at it. I'm asking you to do that because I want you to begin to think of immediate application on some of the ideas that I'm going to share with you now in our time together today, to me, which is a short 30 minutes for today, I want you to understand trust from a different perspective. [00:04:31] I want you to look at it differently, and I want you to begin to pick up tidbits' ideas on how you can build your trust factor and make it stronger. Now, if you'll do that for me in the next 30 minutes, here's what I think you're going to find. Number one, you can strengthen and deepen the relationships that you're in. [00:04:54] Number two, from a business perspective, you can build greater loyalty. So your customer only wants to do business with you. And more importantly, in my mind, in the first two, you get a connection, and you deepen that connection. Today, guys, I'm going to do more of a broad sweep on this idea of trust. [00:05:18] That way, I can just give you tidbits. If you care to go deeper, each one of these will allow you to do that. The first thing I want to look at is what I call trust, foundational concepts, three simple key ideas that I think layout a foundation for us to work with. I believe that the effectiveness of our communication, whether that's face to face, it's virtually it's over the phone, it's a large group or a small group, relies more on the character of the messenger of you and me, then the content of the message. [00:05:55] If you think about it, most of us put all our focus on the message. You'll spend hours and hours trying to craft the perfect PowerPoint slide and not even really think about what do I need to do? What do I need to say to create that trust factor? It's the exact opposite of what we think, where the real effectiveness of our communication lies in our character as the...

Bart Queen: Welcome to the remarkability Institute podcast. This is Bart queen, your host. I'm really glad you're with us today. I recently had someone give me a call and ask me about the fear of public speaking and when I tried to address the issue with them. As I listened to him, he kept talking about all the things that he would naturally not do when he was standing in front of a group of people, and I laid out to him the idea that this is the issue that every single person faces when they think about public speaking. If I can really write the script, I take the word public speaking out of our vocabulary. I really truly believe it puts just fear and uncomfortableness in people's hearts. So the question becomes for all of us who do any type of communicating, whether it's a small group, one-on-one, a large group, 5,050 or 500, how do we come across more naturally? I think the best way to come across and their real natural sense is to take a mind shift from this idea of public speaking to just having a conversation. If you and I went to Starbucks and had a cup of coffee and we sat at one of those cushy kinds of chairs, and we're just going to chit chat and have coffee over something, we wouldn't even think twice about the way we're seated in a chair. We wouldn't think twice about what we do with our hands. We would gesture and just have a conversation. Most likely, we would look at each other as we shared whatever we were talking about. But as soon as you say to someone, Bart, can you get up in front of the group and share with them what your department, your division or company has been doing for the last six months? All of a sudden, people shift in their minds from having a conversation seated to standing to feel like their public speaking and presenting. I think this is the biggest challenge. Every single one of us faces, and to get past that, we've got to do a different mind shift. Here's the first mind shift. Last fall, I had an opportunity to spend six months in the Asia pack. One of the stops on my trip wasn't Singapore. Now, the package that the client put me up with was in a hotel called the Marina sands. I don't know if you've heard of this hotel. It's a beautiful hotel. It's almost a city within a city. It has absolutely everything, from shopping to casinos to a spa. At the very top of this hotel is a platform, and when you're on the ground, and you look up, it looks like Noah's Ark kind of landed up there. Now, this hotel is made up of three towers, and across the towers is this platform. There's a pool; there's a place you can eat. It's just beautiful. Now I'm an early riser, so I like to get up in the morning, go to the very top and enjoy some coffee. Now, as I'm enjoying my coffee, I'm reading USA today on the back page of the very first section, there was a small article about a black market organization, heisting men's kidneys. Now, according to the story, two men are out. They finished up work. They're going to go have a drink, glass of wine, a cup of coffee, whatever it may happen to be that's appropriate, and one says to the other, you know what? I think I need to go up and get some emails done before the end of the day. The other gentlemen say, "Oh, I'm just going to hang out for a little while." According to the article, a beautiful woman approaches him and says, can I buy you a drink? And this guy, being a gentleman, says, why, of course. And they start the conversation. Well, according to the story, the next thing that the man realizes is he wakes up in a bathtub full of ice with a small sign on the top that says, we've harvested one of your kidneys. You need to call nine one one immediately. Now. I had never heard this story before, and when I shared this story with folks, many people will go, well, Bart, I've heard that story before, Bart, I even saw a movie about this kind of an idea. Now, if I were in a classroom situation, I'd say, how many of you have heard this story before? And many...

Bart queen here, and welcome to the remarkability Institute. Now, if you've been following me over the last couple of weeks or so, we've been focused on this idea of how do you physically come across or what I call your delivery mechanics. [00:01:42] Your delivery mechanics are just as important as your content, and many times folks will spend hours and hours and hours on crafting content. You've probably done that. Maybe you even spent all day on a Sunday. You didn't spend time with your family. You locked yourself in your home office, maybe even drove to the office, and said, I've got to get this presentation together. [00:02:05] And you go to the nth degree on what that PowerPoint slide is going to look like, and if you're crunched on time, like the majority of folks, you're doing that kind of twisting and tweaking right up to the very last minute. What just absolutely amazes me. Out of all the years that I've been coaching and helping people is this, they spend hours and hours on making a perfect PowerPoint slide, but they won't spend any time around what does this physical thing, you're you, yourself look like when you're sharing information. [00:02:46] Remember that I've shared with you many times that what you say and how you say it, guys, has to match. Those two things have to be the same, and when they're not the same, people don't buy into what you're saying. People buy what they see before they buy what they hear. It's got to be congruent. You've seen this many, many times. [00:03:07] We can see this from our politicians, our world leaders, many times, maybe a government office where they're sharing information, and you go, I just don't believe what they're telling me. Often, that's because what they say and how they say it just doesn't match. You've also heard me say that if I could give this to every 17 and 18 years old, that I would know guys. [00:03:31] Anytime I have an opportunity to travel internationally, I go overseas. I do my best to find a youth group or a nonprofit that I can give this information to. That's how important I feel like it is. Getting it out to our high school students, I think, is critical. I can sit next to somebody on an airplane, and they'll say, well, Bart, what do you do? [00:03:54] And I'll come back sometimes, and I'll say, I'm in the confidence business. And they'll say, well, what does that mean? And I'll share with them how this skillset, just this vehicle in helping our young people, gives them the confidence to stand up on their feet, articulate their message, what they're passionate about to get out there and make a difference in whatever they want to do in their world. [00:04:20] In my years of working with MBA students, one of the schools that I worked with came back, and they had done some type of a small survey, and they found that the students who went through this program went through this confidence-building program, learn to articulate themselves. If they practiced and showed those things during their internship, they received a 10 to 15% higher. [00:04:45] First-time pay offer than someone who was not giving you. Giving anyone the ability to articulate what they're passionate about, what's important to them to communicate their message is the key competitive advantage that you're looking for. It will set you apart from everybody else. You and I have both heard our ability to communicate verbally, and our ability to communicate from a written perspective are the two things that will set you apart above everybody else. [00:05:20] But it's the two things we spend the least amount of time with. So as we walked through our program today, guys, as we share our time, I want you to become aware of the number one skill. The number one skill that will separate you from everybody else. What I want you to do is not only learn about it, but I want you as soon as this podcast is over, begin to implement it with your family, with your friends, with your colleagues, with...

Hey there. Bart queen here. Welcome to the remarkability Institute today. Guys, I want to take a very strong look at one area around communication in that physical delivery on how you come across, whether you're doing something virtually or doing something face to face. In this particular area. If I could write the script, if I could have my way, if I wave my magic wand, I'd make sure every 17 and 18 years old got this kind of information. [00:02:14] Guys, I truly believe it would change how they do their college presentations, for lack of a better term. I truly believe it would change in that first job interview when someone says to them, why should I hire you over everybody else? And I, I believe it would begin to change how they're going to interact with their spouse or significant other whoever they're going to spend their lives with. [00:02:38] One of my famous sayings, or one of the one of the things I like to repeat, one of the things that are important to me is this very simple concept that people buy what they see before they buy, what they hear, that people buy what they see before they buy what they hear. Now, if we. Embrace that concept. [00:02:59] Then what we say and how we say it has to match. So for those of you who are parents out there, I want you to imagine that you're looking at one of your children, especially when they're younger, and you say, did you do that? And you can envision your son or your daughter putting their head down, kind of scuffing their feet and saying, no mom, no dad, I didn't do that. [00:03:24] And you can look right at them. I know you are guilty. I know you did it. That is a great example of what you say and how you say it has to match. Maybe you've had the experience where you've met someone, and you went up to shake their hand, and you reached out, and you said, very nice to meet you, and they looked at the floor and said, yes, nice to meet you as well. [00:03:52] That's another great example of what you say and how you say it has to match. The challenge here is when they don't match your credibility, and your trust factor goes down. The classic example I see, especially in the corporate world, if someone is in a small group meeting, they've done a presentation, they'll say, now are the, are there any questions? [00:04:19] And when they say, are there any questions? They, too, they take two steps back if you think about it; I'm sure you've seen that situation play over and over and over again. Or maybe by chance, the presentation is over. An executive in the room raises their hand and asks a question, and the person who is about to answer it steps back two or three steps. [00:04:43] I can promise you, even though they don't realize that they're stepping back, the visual that the audience sees says this is what it says to them. They're on the run. They don't believe what they've been telling us, and they're not confident in what they're telling us. This very simple concept of what you say and how you say it has to match is powerful. [00:05:08] People buy what they see before they buy what they hear. Guys, I know you've been in a situation where someone's stepped up front, and you went, Hmm, boy, something about him or her. I'm not trusting. I do not like it. I'm concerned about whether we want to believe that people judge a book by its cover or whether we want to accept that concept. [00:05:30] It's true. As soon as you and I walk into a room to do something, people will begin to look you up and look you down, and they get an assessment about you. They're already going to begin to say, wow, this looks like it's going to be good. I'm a little concerned. I trust them. No, I don't trust them. [00:05:51] They're going to make all those perceptions before you ever start. So if you happen to be at your desk, you happen to be at your house, you're seated. You got a pen and paper in front of you. I want you to write that simple concept down to people by what they see before...

This is Bart queen, and welcome to the remarkability Institute. Great to have you all back. Now, if you've been following in the last series that I've been sharing, we've been focused on this idea of your delivery mechanics. And if you're just joining us, one of the things that I've spoken about many, many times is this idea that what you say and how you say it has to match. [00:02:05] It is the driving principle at looking at what a lot of people may call body language or what I call the delivery mechanics. How you physically come across. Now in our first couple of sessions, the very first one I, I covered this idea of your posture and your movement, bringing those two pieces together. I did one single, separated podcast guys just around eye contact and the power of what that can bring to the table. [00:02:37] Today, I want to focus on a couple more of those pieces. I want to be able to take a look at gestures. I want to be able to discuss facial expressions, what you're doing with your face, and then I want to get into this whole broader concept of vocal variety. So let me come back to this idea that people buy what they see before they buy what they hear, which has to be congruent. [00:03:02] So, as we go through this section today, I want you to realize that these mechanics are kind of the cherry on the top. They don't fall into the bucket of what I call your power skills. Your power skills are your posture. Your eye contact, the power of the pause, and a short to medium sentences. Those four things are the things that give you the greatest confidence and the greatest power when you're communicating the additional mechanics of your facial expressions, and your gestures, your vocal variety of some of the other pieces are cherry on the top. [00:03:42] They continue to enhance what you're doing. But if you said to me, Bart, where should I focus? I'd say focus on the power skills first. Now, I also taught you and shared with you that every single thing counts. So I am not diminishing these. These are important, but if you gave me an opportunity, if you said, Bart, give me a choice. [00:04:07] Go to your power skills first. Now as we walked through these this afternoon, this morning, wherever you happen to be listening, as you're driving to work, whatever you happen to be doing, I want you to take some notes on some of these ideas, whether their mental notes are notes you put on some paper because there are some pieces here that I want to make sure that you can remember. [00:04:32] If you can do that, you'll find that when you go to practice some of these ideas, you go to implement some of these ideas. You can come back to your note, and you can physically implement each of these pieces one by one. Let's dive in this afternoon in this idea of gestures, the number one purpose of a gesture, number one purpose. [00:04:58] Is to enhance your content. Now, when I'm talking about enhancing your content, I mean two things. The number one reason that most people gesture is an emphasis is what you see a lot of. The second reason you gesture is what I call visualization. If by chance, you've ever watched. Drew Carey show, whose line is it? [00:05:26] The next time you're channel surfing and you come across that show, do me a favor, hit the mute button on your TV. Just watch their gestures are so effective that you can tell what they're talking about without even hearing anything. The majority of those gestures are more for that idea of visualization. [00:05:48]Now, there's a couple of components within both of those you want to think about. If you think about this idea that people gesture to add emphasis, that brings us to a couple of dues and does not. I want you to consider you'll find a lot of people who will point. Now, if you're a parent with small children, you'll see them do this often where someone is pointing at you. [00:06:15] How does that get perceived. Most people would say, well, Bart, that gets perceived as...

Welcome to the remarkability Institute. This is Bart Queen, your host. Now, if you were following me last week, I covered an episode around visual AIDS. This is the second piece to last week's episode. So if you missed last week, guys, do me a favor. Go back and pay attention to last week's episode first, and then join me on this one. [00:02:05] We're covering today is the second major bucket on how you use your visuals. In last week's episode, I spent a fair amount of time talking about crafting your sides, not detailed things, but simple ideas that will keep you the center of attention. Everything that I talk about around communication boils up into three major buckets. [00:02:33] How do we build trust? How do we build engagement, and how do we build a relationship? And when it comes to this use of visual AIDS, building that trust and building relationship is critical to your success, whether using PowerPoint, a whiteboard, chalkboard, a flip chart, or you're showing some type of a prop, maybe a piece of equipment that you're showing them. [00:02:59] I want you to remember that you need to be the center of attention, not your visual, not the whiteboard or the chalkboard people buy from people. They buy from people that they like. They're going to buy you first and then get your slides. So everything that you do, you have to keep yourself the center of attention. [00:03:21] Now, on last week's episode, I asked you to take a paradigm shift around how you craft the slides and today's episode. I'm asking you to take a paradigm shift around the way you use your visuals, how you interact with a whiteboard or a chalkboard, how you interact with your PowerPoint, which is the visual itself on the screen, your laptop, that equipment, and your audience. [00:03:48] If you will take that paradigm shift for me if you'll take everything I'm sharing with you and make sure that you are the center of attention, here's what you're going to find. Number one, you're far more engaging. Number two, you're more connected to your audience. And number three, your ability to move the listener forward is exponentially much greater. [00:04:09] As you think about using your visuals, there are three major areas where you interact. If you're taking notes with me today, I want you to note these three major areas where you interact, number one, the way you interact with the audience. Number two is how you interact with the visual itself, what's up on the screen or the whiteboard, or the flip chart itself. [00:04:33] And then how you interact with equipment and a PowerPoint perspective. That's your laptop. Now, if you've been following me through the series of episodes, you have heard me discuss what we called your delivery skills, your eye, contact, your paws, your gestures, your facial expressions. Movement and your posture, when you think about those delivery skills, which three interact in the areas that I just mentioned to you of the audience, of the visual and of the equipment. [00:05:13] Take a moment and think through those just a little bit. If you came back and said, Bart, the number one skill I practice with the audience is eye contact. You are correct. And here's the paradigm shift you're going to take. When the average person presenter brings up a slide, as soon as the slide comes up, what do they do? [00:05:38] You're correct. They begin to talk right off the top of the bat. Now let me ask you this question. What is the listener? What is the audience doing? the audience is trying to consume your slot. Now, you and I are both intelligent. Your audience is intelligent, but guys, they can't read the slide and listen to you simultaneously, they can only do one thing at a time. [00:06:03] They're either reading or listening. They're either reading or listening. A great example of this. If you will think back to when you were in grammar school on the days when you were little, and you came in after recess at lunch, and the teacher read to...

We've been hitting a gamut of communication topics. Now, if you've been following me, there were three major buckets that we would spend time around. The first bucket was around this idea of delivery, physically, how you come across the second bucket was around crafting content, your message, your presentation, your keynote speech, and the third was around interaction. [00:02:05] Today. I want to take us deep into this idea of the way we use our visuals. I am not going to spend a lot of time giving you tips and tricks on how to create your PowerPoint slide. I'm going to give you a high-level overview of that, but where I want to spend the heart of my time with you is how we use our visuals. [00:02:27] Not how do we create our visuals? The University of Illinois did a study on the use of visual AIDS. Guys. They found that someone who uses visual AIDS is 85%. They are 85% more effective than someone who doesn't use their visual AIDS. So the question you and I have to ask ourselves is not whether I can use visuals for my presentation, my meeting, my talk, my virtual webcast, my zoom session. [00:02:58] That's not the question. The question becomes, how do I use them in such a manner that I stay the center of attention. Guys, just from my experience of helping folks for over the last 30 years, it is critical, no matter what communication channel that you're using, that you stay the center of attention. [00:03:20] I want you to remember that people buy you before they buy visual AIDS. I want you to remember that people buy from people that they like, and I want you to remember that people buy from people. They don't buy from companies. So when we slap up a bunch of slides, and you thought you have the ability to sell your company, your solution, tool, or product, you're missing the Mark. [00:03:45] They're going to buy you first. And then they're going to get your visuals. Now, those visuals could be PowerPoint, a whiteboard, a chalkboard, or a handout. It could be a prop, whatever you decide to bring to the table. As we walked through this brief session today, I'd like you to do two things for me. [00:04:03] I want you to take two paradigms shifts, a paradigm shift. Number one, I want you to think differently about how you craft a slide and paradigm shift. Number two, I want you to think differently about how you use the visual. Now, if you'll do those two things for me, here's what I think you're going to find. [00:04:24] Number one, you stay the center of attention. You stay at the focal point. Number two, you're going to find that engagement goes through the ceiling when you make these paradigm shifts. And most importantly, in my mind, you'll increase your ability to influence people. Now want you to remember something. John Maxwell said that leadership is nothing more, nothing less than pure influence, guys. [00:04:50] What we do when we use our visuals when communicating, we are influencing people. We are taking them from point a to point B. We're taking them from a place where they are uncertain to a place where they are searching. And I want you to remember primarily right to sound now for me, that the purpose of the visual aid is to enhance your content period, visual laser, not your notes, but that's how most people end up using their visuals. [00:05:22] Now, in our segment today, I'm going to break it into two major buckets. The first bucket I'm going to cover just some tips and tricks that may help you craft your slides. These are very simple ideas that will keep you the center of attention. Then I'm going to spend the majority of our time together, really talking about how to use those visual AIDS in such a manner that you stay the center of attention. [00:05:46] You keep your audience engaged, and you keep this idea that it's a conversation. Let's look at the first idea that I want to share with you around crafting your slides: idea number one, one idea per visual. So if I'm looking at your slide, if you're...

Welcome to the remarkability Institute. This is Bart queen today. Our whole focus is around content. It is probably the number one question that executive salespeople, engineers, and technical folks ask me, how do I craft my content guys? Nine times out of 10, they come to me with a deck of slides and saying, here's what I've come up with. [00:02:05] And I have to tell them you're doing everything in the wrong order. The never one purpose of any type of visual, whether you're using a whiteboard, a chalkboard, or a flip chart, is to enhance your content. But most people, when they get directed to create some type of a message, go right to their laptop, and they start cranking out PowerPoint slides. [00:02:27] One of my favorite executives once said that if you use PowerPoint, you have no power, and you have no point. I don't have anything. The thing is PowerPoint. I think it's a tremendous tool, but where I have concerns is how we use PowerPoint. So w with that thought in mind, let me just back up a little and let's talk about structure. [00:02:53] On Sunday. I had an opportunity to relax for a little bit, and I caught a national geographic special in this special. They were talking about some of the greater things that have been built in America. The two things they highlighted was the golden gate bridge. And the Hoover dam and they were talking about the importance of the structure and how important that design was to make the bridge viable for a long time and the dam viable for a long time. [00:03:29] And as I was just relaxing and enjoying the special, the ideas of that structure came to my mind when it comes to our content. So let me use the golden gate bridge specifically as an example; that bridge from point a to point B is 1.7 miles. Now, this is a suspension bridge. But the beams that go across one on the left and one on the right that they built the rest of the structure upon is what carries the cars from point a to point B. [00:04:07] Now those beams are suspended. But what I want you to realize is because they had those two beams, one on the left and the one on the right that allowed them to do whatever they wanted to do. On the bridge to build the bridge. You and I, or on vacation or going to work or whatever it may happen to be, can go across it. [00:04:29] And then on top of it, they put the guide rails. There are sidewalks on either side, and then there are small fences to keep people from falling off those fences. And then sometimes they put in a guide rail in the middle. [00:04:45] But [00:04:46] Bart: here's what I want you to realize as it relates to the way you structure your content. [00:04:51] The two major beams that take you from point a to point B give you the most effective way to take your customer, your client, or your listener from where they're currently at or what sometimes I call their current state to point B or that vision state, where you're trying to take them. That adds it is an efficient manner for the listener to go through your content. [00:05:18] The guide rails, once they're put on track or top in my mind, are the things that keep you on track. I want you to realize that there are three things you have to control. Anytime you're sharing a message. Number one, you have to be able to control yourself. Number two, you have to be able to control your content or your conversation. [00:05:43] And number three, you've got to be able to control the situation you're in or the circumstance in which you're communicating. The guide rails allow you to take your listener from point a to point B. The safety rails allow you to stay on track. So here's the principle. I want you to Mark down. Here's a principle. [00:06:05] I don't want you ever to forget. There is freedom in structure. There is freedom in structure. There is freedom in structure. Now I never want you to memorize what you put in the structure. What I want you to memorize is the structure itself. As I walk you through this...

Welcome to the remarkability Institute. This is Bart queen. If you've been following us over the last couple of podcasts, we've been focusing on this idea of around crafting content. Crafting content is probably one of the most difficult things to do well. If you don't do the hard work upfront and keep it simple, the complexity of your content for your listener for the receiver is even more difficult. [00:02:10] Statistically, we are told that we should be crafting our content at an eighth-grade level. Guys, there are some organizations that will tell you it should be fifth-grade level. I'm not talking about your vocabulary; your work with a Ph.D. group of folks use Ph.D. vocabulary. What I'm talking about is sentence structure. [00:02:34] I think the greatest example of this is you say today, those who remember when USA Today launched in the eighties. Everybody made fun of that paper. They said this newspaper would never be successful. They called it "McPaper" because it was written to simply, and they added color. But what I find fascinating is that the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal they followed suit. [00:03:06] They began to add color, and they made it simple to read, and for the listener to consume one of my favorite books, when I talk about content, is why business leaders speak like idiots. [00:03:20] The subtitle is a bullfighters guide, the whole focus. All of that book is creating content to the point that your listener can absorb it and walk away with it. Crafting your content and understanding the structure of your content is foundational to build the message that your listener can walk away with. [00:03:48] So, as we spend our time together today, I want you to walk away with the key components. The structure at a high level so that you can craft that content, fill in the buckets, and then whatever you want to do within them. You can now there are, in essence, three major buckets today that I want to make sure you build your awareness around. [00:04:18] Number one, bucket, number two, the body of what you're sharing, whether that's the body of a keynote speech, the body of a Ted type talk, the body of what you and I would call a presentation or a sales call. The other major bucket that you have to build into or think about is what I call foundational information. [00:04:47] This is foundational information or pieces like the logistics of the meeting. When you're going to take a break where the cocktail party is after the meeting's over those logistical pieces. The second part of that is your credibility, the credibility of your company, and the credibility of yourself. And the third bucket in that foundation is the background. [00:05:14] This is the information you should be pulling forward from a discovery or research piece that gives you the foundation to share your three key points, your four key points, or five key points, whatever you're going to do. Now, the first thing I want to address is what I call the three T's. So if you have a pen and paper, I want you to note these three T's are your topic, your theme. [00:05:44] And your title. Now, I want you to notice the order. I put them in topic, theme, and title. If I'm doing some type of a communication class, and I've got people beginning to work with content, I will ask them to put down their topic. 99% of people will put down the title. That's not what I want you to note first. [00:06:10] It's the last thing I want you to get you to do one purpose of a title. The number one purpose of a title is to grab your listeners' attention. Now, when you're crafting your titles, whether you're doing something more from a written perspective, say you're writing a white paper, writing a book, or you're doing it from what you're going to probably call it more of a presentation type situation. [00:06:37] You're allowed two subtitles. You can do two. You can do just one. One subtitle gives clarity to the topic. The second subtitle is a benefit to...

Welcome to the remarkability Institute. This is Bart Queen, your host today. Now, if you've been following at all over the line, the last couple of sessions, I've been focused on this idea of content structure. And today, I want to take it one more level into actually what I'm going to call building the conversation. [00:01:59] Most people, when they start to dive into this, always, you use the term bar to have to go present, and I have to give a public speech. I have to public speak. I am not fond of either one of those words. If I could write the script, we would take the word presenting and public speaking out of the vocabulary. [00:02:21] I think all that does is put fear in people's hearts. If you look at it, the number one fear in America is public speaking. The fifth fear in America. Is death. Now, if you follow Seinfeld and remember one of his famous quotes, he said most people would prefer to be in the casket than giving the eulogy. [00:02:44] Why do we want to put fear in people's hearts? Because they feel like they have to stand in front of a group of people and share their message. I might toss to you whether you're standing or you are seated. It is a conversation. But here's how people's minds think. If I invited you to go to Starbucks and have a cup of coffee with me, we sat at a table, sat in a cushy chair, and we had a conversation, get to know each other. [00:03:12] We would not take one moment to think about how we're seated in that chair. We would just get comfortable. We would not take one moment to think about what you are doing with your hands? slightly, you got a cup of coffee or whatever you're drinking in one hand, and maybe you're gesturing for the other. [00:03:26] And you're not even going to think twice about it. And most likely, we would look at each other as we have this conversation. What I find interesting is as soon as I say, now, John, can you get up in front and share with us what your division is doing? All of a sudden, John goes from the seated position of having a conversation to a standing position of presenting. [00:03:51] I'm going to challenge you. There should be no difference when you're standing than when you're seated. You just happened to be standing. I don't care whether it's five people, 50 people, or 500 people when you're standing with a coworker after work in your car. And you're talking about the day and bantering about the weekend. [00:04:10] Do you feel like you're presenting when you're at home in the kitchen with your spouse or significant other, your family, whoever you spend time with, do you feel like you're presenting? No. Do you feel like you have your conversation? But because we get into this mindset of presenting in my mind, you let go of all the natural things that you do so nicely. [00:04:36] One of the most important things we can do when we communicate, whether you're standing or seated, is be conversational and be authentic, be who you are naturally. But here's what happens when you put yourself in presenting mode, you put yourself in performance mode, and when you put yourself in performance mode, you put yourself in perfection mode. [00:05:02] And when you put yourself in perfection mode, you feel like it has to be done a certain way, and then you fall apart. But when you just have a conversation, With whoever you're discussing something with, you don't think of any of those other things. You don't put yourself on a performance treadmill. If there's one thing I wish I could get all of us to do, if there were one place that I'd be committed to helping anyone with, it's getting off that performance treadmill and letting you share your heart. [00:05:34] I truly believe that you should let your life speak. And when you let your life speak, you're letting your words speak and your body language, speech in congruency. And when those two things happen, you get power. I remember reading a book called to let your life speak by Parker. And he said, when...

Welcome to the remarkability Institute podcast. This is Bart Queen , your host. I hope all of you are doing well today. [00:01:46] I typically get asked how do I go from feeling confident? To not feeling confident to feeling confident to not feeling confident. And a lot of times, people let their emotions drive them if there's anything that I've found out in my experience of helping and coaching folks. [00:02:07] Is that emotions have no intelligence when it comes to the skillset of communication. Now, as we spend our time together today. What I'd like you to do is open up your mind to the three goals and the five components that will help you become more effective or what I call a more strategic communicator. [00:02:29] I think if you have an open mind around those things, you'll gain some principles and ideas today in our short amount of time together. That you can immediately, make an application to implement into your life and see the effects. The outcomes and the results that happen from it. [00:02:47] I want you to go from this idea of how everything feels to a place where you're relying on the skillset to carry you through every single time. [00:02:59] Now, to lead you to those skill sets, I want to lay one more piece of the foundation that I think is important. And that's the three overall arching goals that each one of us should have in the way that we communicate. [00:03:12] Now, this applies to whether you're giving a keynote speech. You're doing a presentation. You're doing a one-on-one, you're doing a training class. You're having a conversation with your children. I have found that these three goals go all the way across the board. Goal number one is to build trust. This should be the most important thing that we do when we're communicating with our family, our friends, and our clients. [00:03:41] [00:03:41] There's one important principle in this idea of building trust. Something I picked up out of a book called God is a sales person. Now it's not a religious book, but the author drives this point home. He said that people buy trust before they buy a solution tool or product. You also said that people buy trust before they buy the provider, meaning you or me. [00:04:06] The CEO of Pepsi once said that the new global currency, the new global currency, is not going to be money. It's going to be trusted. So the question that you have to face and the question that I have to face every single day is how do we build trust between yourself and the people that you're communicating with. [00:04:29] I think every day before we. Let our feet hit the floor with our families and with our children with our spouses. We should. I ask ourself as a simple question. What's the one thing I can do today to deepen the trust in my relationship with my spouse? I'm up. With my children. How can I deepen that trust between my company and my clients? [00:04:52] How can I deepen that trust between myself, my company, and the marketplace? [00:04:59] Now, I believe that there are four key pillars to building trust and how we communicate. Pillar number one. Is that our content must be clear. It must be clear. [00:05:13] It has to be easy to understand. So here's a principle I want you to make a note. If you happen to be listening or you've got a pen and paper in front of you. I want you to write this down. A confused mind will always say no. A confused mind will always say no. I got that principle out of a book called real leaders. Don't do PowerPoint. [00:05:35] Tremendous book. If you have not read it, I highly recommend you pick it up. But the author drives this idea home that as soon as someone says in their head, I don't get what you're telling me. They stop listening, and then we've lost all the way through. A confused mind will always say no. Pillar number one; your content has to be clear. [00:05:58] Pillar number two, your content has to be concise. [00:06:03] We know for a fact that most people are verbose. You've...