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This Is Not What I Ordered

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11: Being Yourself in Community with Leo Newman

Leo Newman is a licensed professional health counselor living in Travelers Rest, South Carolina with his wife and son. He's worked in the mental health field for a decade and currently splits his time between private practice and the local community health center. His primary focus is helping individuals and their loved ones learn to live beyond the challenges of their chronic health concerns. Leo began his own journey with chronic health issues in 2005 after being diagnosed with Crohn's...


10: Body-Positive Chronic Love with Krista Niles

Krista Niles is a therapist and body positive coach. She specializes in helping plus-size women live full, happy lives and navigate the complicated world of health at every size. She also created the Curvy Cupid Course, an e-course on dating at any size, and a new project called the Body Positive Therapist, which is a hub for body-positive mental health resources that launches later this year. She asks us to reconsider our attitudes toward fat and beauty standards and interrogate the...


09: Diabetes + Poetry with Nichole Acosta

Nichole Acosta is a vegan Type-1 diabetic, spoken-word poet and digital assets manager at Jumo Health, which offers authentic, relatable health education for children and families. She has been performing poetry since she was 11 years old and was diagnosed with diabetes during her freshman year of college. Since then, she has come to recognize that highs and lows are part of a diabetic's life. In all of her work, she lives to inspire and inspires people to live, recognizing that her poetry...


Mindfulness and Life's Mystery with Bob Stahl

Bob Stahl has founded 8 Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) programs in medical centers throughout the San Francisco Bay Area. He is a long time practitioner of mindfulness meditation, having lived and practiced for over eight years in a Buddhist monastery, and is the guiding teacher at Insight Santa Cruz and a visiting teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. Bob is moved by the Buddha's teachings about impermanence and the body. At one point, he needed to re-learn how to walk due...


07: Stress Baking with Leslie Haasch

Leslie Haasch runs Stress Baking, a blog where she shares easy-to-follow homemade recipes as well as details about her struggles with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and endometriosis. She likes to put all the highs and lows of her condition out there with a sense of humor because she believes you have to be able to laugh in the face of frustration. For Leslie, a fulfilling life is waking up and not dreading the day ahead. She believes in setting realistic expectations, setting herself up...


06: When Scars Connect Us with Romina Pacheco

Born in Venezuela, Romina Pacheco is a social justice educator currently based in New Mexico. She is also a wife, mother and thyroid cancer survivor who has been living with chronic fatigue since 2012. She's determined to live life to the fullest, even if it means taking time out to recuperate. She feels blessed for having a supportive community and takes pride in her ability to be assertive, advocate for herself, and seize the opportunities afforded to her. In this episode, she discusses...


05: Knowing Your Emotions with Brian Tohana

Brian Tohana envisions a world of belonging where most people are healed, feel whole, and are accepted for who they truly are. A transformational coach based in Ottawa, Ontario, Brian seeks meaning beyond chronic pain and guides people in aligning their actions with their beliefs. In this interview, he discusses his body's natural inclination to heal, how he was moved to work through all barriers to connections in his relationships, and how his coaching practice is intended to facilitate...


04: You Are More Than Just Your Skin with Tara Cameron

Tara Cameron is a practitioner of East Asian medicine, functional nutritionist and licensed massage therapist based in Kirkland Washington, and is also a doctoral candidate for acupuncture and herbal medicine. Tara struggled with eczema from early childhood, later developing chronic pain and anxiety. More recently, she has had to contend with Red Skin Syndrome, a form of withdrawal from the topical steroids she'd long used to treat her eczema. In this interview, she discusses how her...


03: Cancer + Comedy with Nick P. Ross

Nick P. Ross is a writer, producer, and director in Los Angeles, and he's a super fun guy to chat with. He creates a lot of content for Soul Pancake, a YouTube channel and creative agency known for asking life’s BIG questions. Nick also had cancer (Hodgkin’s Lymphoma) when he was 26. He's ten years post-treatment this year. In this episode, we talk about the comedy that came from one of life's biggest challenges, and think together about some of his poignant and funny moments along the...


02: Meet The Host with Lauren Selfridge

In the spirit of vulnerability and trust, I cannot think of a better way to kick off This Is Not What I Ordered than with my own story of chronic illness. That’s right—I’m the first interviewee on the podcast. My dear friend and fellow therapist Jessica is joining me in my living room in San Francisco to ask questions and share memories. Along the way, I want to open up my life a bit and share what I have experienced and where I have grown. For your ears today is my ongoing journey with...


01: Introducing This Is Not What I Ordered

Living with chronic illness or health challenges can be overwhelming and isolating. It can also be an incredible opportunity for beauty, growth, and connection with our deepest selves. I created this podcast because our journeys are enriched when we share wisdom and support with an understanding community around us. You can read the full show notes at


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