Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell-logo

Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

Adult Content

You're listening to Get Your Marriage On!, the fun & spicy [and clean] podcast bringing you new tools and fresh ideas for your most intimate relationship so that you can be the sexiest couple you know! Strengthen your marriage and feel closer than ever. For more info, visit


United States


You're listening to Get Your Marriage On!, the fun & spicy [and clean] podcast bringing you new tools and fresh ideas for your most intimate relationship so that you can be the sexiest couple you know! Strengthen your marriage and feel closer than ever. For more info, visit




176: Pregnancy & Postpartum Sex, Sexting, Swinging, and Meddlesome Masturbation Habits - Q&A with Dan Purcell

Today we get to talk about some really exciting topics as we answer your questions from the anonymous question form on our website: I really appreciate your willing to open your heart and trust me with some of the difficulties that you're facing when it comes to sex and intimacy in your marriage. I hope you find something helpful in our discussion today. I love and care about you. I think about you're constantly and that prepare these podcasts episodes with you in mind. If there other future topics that you would like me to address, please reach out to me. And if you want to submit an anonymous question, you can do so on our website. I love to hear what's on your mind and how I can help you in your marriage. That's what I love to do. Looking for more? I have something big in the works: a brand new program! It's a way to bring much of what happens at the retreat to a more accessible, self-paced format. So stay tuned for that. Follow us on Instagram Get all our apps and resources on our website:


175: Resurrecting Dead Bedrooms with Amy Langford & Dan Purcell

It's an understatement to say that it's frustrating being in a marriage where sex is non-existent or very infrequent. According to Justin Lee Miller, PhD, who's a sex researcher, about one in seven Americans are in relationships with little to no sex. I believe good sex is healthy for a thriving growing marriage relationship. Sex is bonding, contributes to your overall health, and not to mention really, really fun and exciting. I'm on a mission to eliminate poverty and bedrooms everywhere. I want to help couples overcome their challenges that inhibit them from fully receiving all the goodness that an intimate marriage can provide. Let's stop living beneath our privileges and courageously step into a strong growing thriving marriage. Amy Langford is my co-host today. She has been a guest on my podcast before (see episode number 101). She's a very talented marriage and intimacy coach and she coaches with me in my Next Level Program. And today you're invited to be a fly on the wall as Amy and I discuss an email from John (not his real name). He has a marriage where intimacy is not very frequent. I'm grateful for John to email me so much detail and I can sense his sincere desire for change in his relationship. Remember that intimate marriages are a system. We always co-create the marriage dynamic we have, as they say, there are always two sides to every story. And unfortunately we don't have as wife's perspective. So we'll be focusing today on what John can do. Perhaps in a future episode, we'll be able to focus on what his wife, Julie, can do. Let's dive in!


174: Dirty Talk, Bondage, Masturbation and More - Q&A with Dan Purcell

I'm excited to answer some anonymous questions I have received from listeners. Some topics we cover include the following: If you would like to submit an anonymous question for me to answer on the podcast, on Instagram, or in an email, you can do so on our website. --- We have an exciting new program coming up at the end of March! Watch your email newsletter for more information!


173: How to Initiate Sex Like a Pro, Featuring James Christensen

We recently hit a major milestone with this podcast: 1 million downloads! Thank you for your support! Let's be honest here. Initiating sex is not easy at all. We want the other person to take charge and initiate, right? We worry, how are we going to be received? There's also so much of ourselves wrapped up in what it means to initiate, or not initiate, sex. And past experiences tend to influence our reluctance to initiate as well. Yet, the reality is if one of you doesn't initiate sex, sex is never going to happen in your relationship. So why is initiating sex so hard? What are some common reasons why people, me included, struggle to initiate sex sometimes? How do we get better at this very intimate act of bidding for sexual connection? I've been pondering these questions lately, and I'm grateful to meet up with James Christiansen, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Roseville, California. You'll quickly find out that he has a brilliant sharp mind and quickly cuts right to the heart of the matter. And this episode, we're going to talk about what's at the heart of initiating sex, because it gets a lot deeper than what you're probably thinking. And by the end of this episode, hopefully you'll take more courageous action to cherish your spouse more than before. Links referenced in the episode: ⬇️ Download the Intimately Us and get in on the Sextimacy Challenge before it's over! 🌟 Get info on the DIY Boudoir Date Night Box 🙋 Snag the last spot at our couples retreat coming up in just 5 weeks!


172: Vagina & Pelvic Floor Power with Pauli, Physical Therapist

Do you wish you could have more powerful, more pleasurable orgasms? Or to not need to cross your legs when you sneeze? Or jump on the trampoline like you used to before kids? Studies show only about 30% of women have an orgasm from penetration. But perhaps that number could be higher if your pelvic floor (the muscles in and around your vagina) were in better condition. Research also shows that the stronger and healthier your pelvic floor muscles are, the more pleasure you’ll find from orgasms (the orgasm is the most powerful pelvic floor contraction possible!), and no pain from intercourse too! Our special guest Pauli Hannan is a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist that specializes in helping women have a better life with a healthier pelvic floor. She’s created No Kegel University, where she debunks the idea that you need to do more Kegel exercises or buy vaginal ben-wa balls to strengthen your pelvic floor. This episode is an abridged version of a live 90-minute workshop, and you can watch the full replay on our website. Although this content is directed towards women, men are invited to learn along. After all, men have pelvic floors that need strengthening too!


171: Would You Rather…? Sexy Edition & Embracing Your Eroticism

Today I want to talk about embracing your eroticism. This is a beautiful part of being human; your eroticism is going to be unique to you just as your fingerprints are unique to you! In this episode, we're going to address the following common questions: And, we also give you some fun "would you rather" questions you can use as a spring board to understand your own and your spouse's erotic interests. --- Resources we mentioned in the episode: DIY Boudoir Date Night Box: We've teamed up with EveryLove Intimates to bring you this kit that brings the magic of a professional boudoir photoshoot right to the comfort of your home! Couples Retreat (only 3 spots left!) Picture this: sunny days, red rock landscapes, and outdoor adventures, coupled with a perfect balance of powerful instruction on sex and intimacy, personalized expert coaching, relaxed downtime (wink wink), in a supportive environment. So why not register today before someone else takes your spot? Come join us in March! Just Between Us app: This app is linked directly to your spouse and it encrypts everything so you never have to worry about your intimate photos or conversations accidentally going to someone unintended!


170: Behold Your Beautiful Body Through the Lens of Boudoir Photography!

DIY or professionally done, boudoir photography has the potential to empower women and open their minds and hearts to their own inherent beauty, as well as add an extra spark and intimacy to a marriage. I discuss this and more with my guest today, Sierra Beltran, an experienced photographer from Arizona. In this podcast episode, we talk about the following in our deep dive on boudoir photography: If you're interested in DIY boudoir photography at home, I have two fantastic resources for you! EveryLove Intimated DIY Boudoir Photography Date Night Box.Just Between Us App


169: 8 Reasons Why Sex in Marriage is Hard (But Also Worth the Effort!)

Sex can be hard for couples for many reasons. And if you feel like it's hard for you right now, you're not alone. Sex is so highly personal and it's a very anxious behavior, yet it's also at the core of who we are. So it's like this dichotomy: we want to be close to another person, yet, in order to get there, we have to overcome a lot of nervousness and anxiety in order to enjoy that. And by the way, sex is so much more than just two bodies bumping into each other; our minds and our spirits are highly involved in sex as well. Humans are the only species on earth capable of making meaning in sex. Dogs don't have sex and think, "Oh, he really loves me." Or, "She was really into that." Dogs and other animals don't do that. It's a very human thing to find meaning in sex. And, that's a double-edged sword for a lot of people. The anxiety in sex make sex a horrible experience or a difficult experience to enjoy for some people. But the flip side of that is the transcendent capacity for deep connection that can come through sex. It is one of the most unique human and wonderful things about being a person. So in this episode, we dive deep into why sex can be hard for couples. Understanding our hangups and why we have them is the first step to overcoming them! -- Valentine's Day is coming up, and that means so is our 14-Day Sextimacy Challenge! Watch the Intimately Us app for more details! Our free workshop coming up on January 19 will be all about increasing pelvic floor health. Strong pelvic floors benefit us in so many ways. I hope you'll join us! Details will be hitting your inbox soon. The life-changing Get Your Marriage On! couples retreat is coming up just around the corner. There are only a couple weeks left to sign up before registrations are closed! Grab your spot today!


168: How Your Marital Power Dynamics Are Affecting Your Sexual Relationship

Who in your relationship has more of a say in general, who in your relationship organizes themselves around the other more? Are there any unaddressed resentments that you deal with in your relationship right now, do some things feel just one sided in your marriage? Couples that thrive have a shared sense of power in the relationship power in this context is defined as note shared power shared influence. One person can receive the influence from the other. The moment we start creating hierarchies in our relationship. Meaning one person is more important than the other, or the general order of things goes like, no, God husband, wife, for example. When we create these hierarchies in our relationship, we set ourselves up for power struggles and this often undermines sexual desire and intimacy in the marriage. I work with couples that want to grow their sexual relationship. And that's one of the purposes of this podcast. The reality is you grow the sexual relationship by strengthening the marriage and upgrading the relationship dynamic. One way to quickly improve your sex life is by paying close attention to the power dynamics at play in a relationship. And some of them might be invisible to you or very covert. My guest today is Bonnie Young. She's a licensed marriage and family therapist licensed in Utah in Washington state. She's also currently working on her PhD. She's super smart, caring. And as you'll get to know, very experienced in this topic we're going to talk about today. She's also a mom of two, almost three children and runs a mental health clinic with almost a dozen therapists working for her in two states in her spare time. --- Ready to level up your marriage this year? Check out our romantic and life-changing marriage retreat coming up this March! --- For more fun, connection, and intimacy daily, download our free app: Intimately Us


167: Successful Vacation Sex & Romantic Getaways, According to a Romance Consultant

Five years ago, around the campfire with friends, one man told me about this amazing trip he and his wife made to Thailand where they camped out on the beach in this pristine tropical bay. And another friend told me about his trip to the Dominican Republic at is all inclusive resort, just he and his wife. And another guy talked about this cruise, he and his wife went on and all these fun and exciting trips with just their wives. And I was so, feeling sorry for myself. I had extreme case of FOMO. I wanted to get away with my wife, but I just felt like I couldn't because of the circumstances in my life. Long story short, we finally made that trip happen. We had so much fun and we just really needed this time together, this time away. And that experience of getting away just the two of us really nourished our relationship and boosted us like nothing else. So since that time we've gone at least on one weekend away together every three months, about four times a year, and it's become something we really look forward to doing in our marriage. And it's become a staple for helping our relationship thrive. In this episode, you get to hear a little bit more about this vacation my wife and I finally went on, but you also hear from a Romance Consultant, Joise McEwen, about how to plan your own romantic getaway, how to make vacation sex successful, and hopefully gain inspiration to make a getaway a goal for your marriage. --- If you want to take you getaway up a level, check out our couples retreat coming up in March! Get all the details at And if you're looking for ways to add fun and spice to the bedroom on the regular, on vacation or not, check out the Intimately Us app!


166: 12 Ideas to Make Christmastime Extra Sexy

For a lot of couples, Christmastime is a really stressful time of the year. There's a lot of end of year projects for work and school; there's also gift shopping and preparations for guests and meals and Christmas cards and dinners and parties, and the list just keeps going on and on and on. And if you have children, it just multiplies the complexity by every child that you have in your home. But Christmastime can also be a very special, sexy time of year. Think about it. Think of all the romantic, Christmas-themed movies that we love. Think about the time you get a snuggle by a fire. Think about the fun that you can have with your spouse when the world kind of slows down for a little bit. It can become a very sexy time. In fact, a friend pointed out to me that, in the United States at least, we have the highest birth rate at the end of August, early September. I didn't believe him. So I double checked it. And it's true! In the United States, we have the most births in late August, early September. Which means most people are being conceived around Christmas time. And I want this to be a very sexy time for you too! So I'm going to offer you 12 sexy Christmastime tips in this episode! Helpful links: Intimately Us Get Your Marriage On! Couples Retreat Tammy Hill's book, Replenish


165: How a Marriage Retreat Rescues, Renews, and Revitalizes Your Relationships (5 case studies)

There's something magical about setting aside three to four days away with your spouse, where you can relax and have fun and enjoy working on aspects of your relationship that are going to give you a big boost and forward momentum. And our Get Your Marriage On! retreat next March could be just the thing to help renew and revitalize your marriage like it did for the past attendees you'll hear from in this episode. Find out more about what is included, what the retreat is like, and most importantly, the results for the couples who have come in the past. (Hint: they were transformative!) I hope you'll join us in March 2024 for this life-changing experience! Get all the details here:


164: Creating Space for Moms (and Dads) to Feel Like They Are in Control Again with Ariel Finlinson

Picture this: It's a typical day. You're lying in bed. Snoozing your alarm clock for the third time, your resolve to get to the gym weakening. You were interrupted again last night from a child that needed you. And as you awake the demands of the day, press on you. Lists appear in your mind what shopping needs to be done, which child has which appointment, the field trip that you volunteered to go on, the assignment at church you agreed to do, and so on and so on. You get out of bed already tired to go about your morning routine. But today, a genie appears and grants you a special wish for one day. You can do what you want to do. What would you decide? What would you do? Have you lost yourself? My friend and guest, Ariel Finlinson, years ago was in a situation where her husband and kids are going to be out of town for a few days. And she had an entire weekend to herself. She had no idea what she'd do with her time. That's the day she realized that she had somehow lost herself in motherhood. She had lost touch of herself, lost the relationship with herself in her busy and noble life of mothering. As you know, this podcast is dedicated to helping Christian couples get out of a rut in their sex life. Today's topic isn't sexy, per se, but it's really important and ties into developing a stronger sex life. The relationship with ourselves is crucial to our relationship with others. You can't give from an empty well, and you can't lift others to higher ground if you're not on higher ground yourself. Ariel recently received her master's degree in family life education. She's super fun, sharp. And the host at the Ladies Talking Love podcast. Today, we're going to talk about five ideas for mothers to reconnect with themselves in their life. Click here for Ariel's free download, "Find Yourself After Kids," that we mentioned in the episode. Take Care of Yourself and Your Relationship Something you can do to nourish yourself, get some rest, have fun and connect with your spouse in a deeper, profound way is to get away once in a while together. And there's no better way to do that than to attend our upcoming couples retreat in March. Registration is open and you won't want to miss it. During the retreat, we'll do a deep dive into your relationship and give you real practical tools to help you get out of a rut, do away with resentment and free yourself from the frustrations and limitations you currently face. You'll walk away from this retreat feeling rejuvenated with lots of hope in your relationship and just feeling great together again. And this retreat is also balanced with a lot of fun activities like ATVing in the desert or canyoneering near Zion national park. To make this an unforgettable weekend, sign up today!


163: Overcoming Newlywed Hesitations, Expressing Desires, Premature Ejaculation, Masturbation Views - Q&A

Today is a Q &A episode. I get anonymous questions, which you can send me through my website, and I go through those regularly. And today we're going to address a few of the common questions that I'm getting in this podcast episode. Today, we're going to cover topics such as the following: Now I have a very special invitation for you. You're invited to join us for our next marriage retreat that we will have here in my hometown, St. George Utah. St. George is like a Mecca for outdoor living. It's got red rocks. It's in the desert. It's got world-renowned canyons, like the Zion National Park and Snow Canyon. We're going to spend some of that time outside ATVing in the desert or canyoneering out by the national parks. We'll also have this beautiful location that we've picked out. It's private. We've rented out the entire resort. And you get to have instruction with me and my team. We talk, we do a deep dive in your relationship, taking it apart, putting it back together and upgrading your marriage. Make this time in March, be the thing that would give you forward momentum in your relationship to build a strong you in 2024. We only have 20 spots for this. So the time to act is now you can register at, get your marriage and click on couples retreat. And while you're there, look at some of that testimonials and videos of others that have attended the retreat. So you get an idea for what it's like.


162: How to Keep Your Marriage Hot in the Middle of Raising Little Kids with Kingdom Sexuality

One pernicious thought the often gets in the way of our intimacy is a thought that we can put the romance and desire side of our marriage on the back burner while we raise our children. The reality is the greatest gift we can give our children right now is for us as parents to have a thriving marriage and erotic relationship that feels alive. Prioritizing desire in our relationship, within reason, has done wonders for our marriage. So today I've invited three, yes, three guests onto my podcast. This trio is part of Kingdom Sexuality, where their mission is to help Christian couples see God's design for sex. They also have a great Instagram account, by the way. Alana, Kyle, and Tiera each are married and have children. And we're going to have a frank conversation about practical things to keep strong desire while you're still raising young children. Take some time just for the two of you! And the other thing you can do for your marriage and for your children is to get away once in awhile with your spouse. And there's no better way to do that than attend our next couples retreat in March. Registration is open and you won't want to miss it. We'll do a deep dive into your relationship and give you real practical tools to help you get out of a rut, do away with resentment, and free yourself from the frustrations and limitations you're currently facing in your marriage. We do this by building on top of your strengths and helping you see a clear path forward so that you have hope and excitement in the future of your marriage. This is all, of course, in balance with fun activities to do on the retreat, like ATV in the desert or canyoneering near Zion National Park. To make this an unforgettable weekend, register today on our website.


161: Whole-hearted Lovemaking and Stage 3 Sex, featuring Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

To love and be loved wholeheartedly. It's life's sweetest gift. Marriages thrive when there's two forces working together love and desire. By love, I mean, the qualities like attentiveness, which is like being a good listener, kindness, a feeling of home and belonging in the relationship and loyalty. On the other hand, by desire I mean a sense of passion, excitement, pursuit, adventure, mystery, and fun. We need both of those things in a good marriage. And to really love someone and to really desire someone with all of your heart, it's often a function of how developed and mature we are. Did you know that there are stages of development and romantic and sexual relationships as there are in other aspects of life? And how do you grow from whatever stage you are now to your next stage and become a better lover? I've been podcasting consistently every week without fail for almost three years now. Can you believe it?! And one of my personal most favorite teachers of all time is Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, who you'll get to meet in just a moment. We recorded this podcast a long time ago. And because we have so many new listeners on this podcast, I've gone back to the archives to make sure you all get a chance to hear it! Keep Your Marriage Burning Bright Marriages need more help to stay strong today than ever. And that's why we just opened registration for upcoming marriage retreat in St. George Utah for March, 2024. Retreats are an exciting way to spend some time away and we give you the tools you need to build a stronger sexier marriage and you get to meet other couples, have good food, go on excursions and just have this amazing experience to keep the fires of love and passionate desire burning bright in your relationship for years to come. Register today on our website.


160: I Don't Need You (But I Want You), and Mindful Loving

Oftentimes in our quest to have a deeper, more intimate marriage, it's really not a question of whether you want to be loved or loved more. It's really a question of a capacity to love or be loved more. In my work with couples and individuals, helping them grow intimately in their marriages, one of the very first things I teach them is how to be more mindful. Most of us cruise through the day on autopilot, not quite aware of the thoughts that go through our head. However, when we develop the skill of slowing down and observing our thoughts, we can then shape our thinking to higher levels. In the past, as a Christian, I thought that the whole mindfulness and meditation thing was for Zen Buddhists, but the more I dive into my own beliefs, I see mindfulness built right into my religious practices because what is prayer, the Sabbath, time in God's word, but an invitation for stillness and mindfulness. Higher levels of thinking are required in order to grow one's capacity to love and be loved. And this has nothing to do with IQ. It has everything to do with learning how to be more present and honest with your thoughts. That's why I'm so excited about my guest today. His name is Dr. Ty Mansfield. Ty is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a professor of marriage and family life at Brigham Young University. I first came across Ty's work when I read his book on mindfulness and it changed the way I approached my life in so many aspects. *** COUPLES RETREAT: I am so excited to announce that registration is now open for our next couples retreat March 14-17, 2024 in beautiful, sunny St. George, Utah, which is also my hometown. This retreat is ideal for couples that want to take the intimacy in their marriage to the next level. Watch some testimonials here! *** COACHING: Register any time for our coaching program, Next Level, for coaching resources, and a great community. *** WORKSHOP: Join us for our next workshop all about slow sex on November 22! And remember that all of our guides and workshops are 20% off this month!


159: For the Men: Embracing Your God-given Sexuality for an Intimate Marriage

Are you looking for a big shift in your relationship? The men in my coaching program continually see these shifts in amazing ways. They feel more grounded. They see themselves more clearly. They feel more confident in their own skin. They stand on their own two feet better. They're at more peace with their God-given sexuality and who they are, and their wives take notice and often make changes and adjustments themselves too. I am so excited that we are starting another men's coaching cohort on Sunday, November 8! In this episode, you'll learn all about the program and what kind of things you can expect to learn and ways you can grow to achieve the marriage you've always dreamed of. Register now for the men's only coaching program! You can also hear from other men who have gone through this program. I look forward to seeing you next week!


158: The #1 Limiting Factor in Your Sex Life, According to a Marriage Expert

I have a background in computer science and I love writing code. Nerdy, right? The better the code, the better the program. A program can’t run better than the code it’s written from. The way we express our sexuality is the same way. We can’t out-sex ourselves beyond the thoughts we have about sex. This is one reason why I am a big believer in marriage and sex coaching. I help my clients to recognize their current thoughts about sex and their marriage, and invite them to reprogram their thoughts to elevate and improve their thoughts about sex so that they can live happier, more fulfilling lives. So many marriages can do better if they take the time to think about what they think about sex and their relationship. If more couples did this, we could eliminate poverty from bedrooms everywhere! My guest today is Heather Flake. Heather is a fellow life coach that helps married women love who they are in their marriage more. If you like this content, check out for more: FREE MASTERCLASSNext Level Intimacy ProgramPrivate CoachingWorkshopsAppsGuides


157: 7 Ways To Put the PLAY back in FOREPLAY and Make Sex Fun, Not Work

Today I want to talk about what to do when you want to want to have sex but you don’t feel in the mood for it yet. Although it would be nice to get in the mood, you know that it’s going to take time and energy to get there, and it’s tempting to just postpone sexy time to another time when you’ll have more energy. But when you think about scheduling sex, it feels like yet another thing to add to the to-do list. So there it goes again: sex feels like work rather than play, and it gets put on the back burner. Again. This episode covers reasons that couples struggle with play and foreplay, and then 7 actionable ways to add relaxed playfulness into your relationship and sexual encounters! Remember that if you plan on building an exciting, intimate marriage that lasts a lifetime, it requires healthy doses of newness injected into your marriage regularly. We all go through seasons, but the best way to keep your sex life out of a rut is to keep things fresh and new. Some of the suggestions in this episode are going to take some effort to prepare. But even the preparation can be part of the fun! It builds anticipation! Here are links to some of the resources discussed in today's episode: Episode 89, “Foreplay Throughout the Day”Intimately Us AppSheets and Ladders GameHow to Have Shower Sex Slip & Slide Date Night Tutorial