Listen, You Beautiful Bitch

Braces, Pimples, Emotions, weird smells.....yes, we are talking about PUBERTY. Today we're discussing when we started puberty, our cringe worthy stories and how we got through it!

We’re continuing with our podcast blackout this week in an effort to amplify the black voices speaking out against racial injustice in our country. In the meantime, we’re working to bring more diverse perspectives into our regular content — stay tuned in the coming weeks for more advice for our younger selves with several special guests who can add their own experiences into the mix, which may be completely different (or surprisingly similar) to our own. We recognize that there is still so much work to be done in this fight for equality, and we’re committed to continue fighting for equality, liberty, and justice. Today, we want to take a moment to recognize just a few of the names of the black folx whose lives have been cut short by police since 2014. We say their names to remember and honor their lives, and to remind ourselves and others just how far we still have to go.

Due to the recent protests against racial violence and police brutality in the United States, we (alongside other podcasts) will be participating in the Podcast Blackout and will not be releasing our regularly scheduled episode for today. We have chosen to use this platform to help spread awareness about the issues our country is facing, and encourage you to do the same! Whatever platform you have to make your voice heard, we ask that you take the time to speak out. Instead of listening to us ramble for the next 60-90 minutes, check out some of the podcasts and radio shows we've listed below to help educate yourself and others on race in America. We encourage you to do what you can to fight against racial injustice. Support, protest, donate, and educate yourselves — we will be doing the same. To our black listeners, although we can never truly understand what you're going through (and have gone through in the past), we will stand with you and fight to end racism. Your lives matter....they always have and they always will. Anti-Racist Podcasts & Radio Shows: Momentum: A Race Forward PodcastSeeing White SeriesUncivilCode Switch1619 (New York Times)About RaceCode Switch (NPR)Intersectionality Matters!, a podcast hosted by Kimberlé CrenshawPod For The Cause (from The Leadership Conference on Civil & Human Rights)Identity Politics For a list of even more anti-racist resources, including books, movies, coursework, & social media accounts, check out this great article from Medium & the Female Founders Fund. Looking for a 1-stop link for petitions, donations, and other resources? We gotchu! https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ #BlackLivesMatter #BLM

Today we're keeping it light with questions from Sandra's "girl's night" questions game! We also have a special guest appearance from two of our lovely mothers. Also, have any of you ever fried an uncrustable?

Life is full of hard decisions...but hopefully none as hard as some of these questions 😧 Play along as we take another brain break from the serious stuff and instead decide if we would rather be mermaids or bird-people, subs or doms, and just how awkward we're willing to get during sex! ⁣

Welcome back everyone!! This will be a fun episode to play along with while you're quarantined! Each of us will list out three nouns and YOU must choose which one you'd marry, murder or fuck.

It's Sandra's 30th and we're drinkin' margaritas. Grab your favorite alcoholic (or non-alcoholic) beverage and play a game of Never Have I Ever with us! Warning: do not play while driving.

Pap Shmears, am I right?? If you have a vagina, you may have let an OBGYN look up there time to time. Have you ever spent an hour talking about it with some cool lady friends? If not, then come on over! Today we are talking all about our first visits, preferences, weird experiences and advice.

Quarantine finally managed to jack up our recording schedule, so we're coming in hot this week with a throwback to our most popular episode of the podcast, What Makes Men Sexy! In this episode we invited listeners to share what qualities make a man attractive, and which ones leave them as dry as the Sahara. PSA: We got too drunk to edit this one, so it's uncut, raw, and sometimes incoherent...but apparently y'all are into that so enjoy! 🤷‍♀️

Welcome back to another quarantine edition: SEXTING! Today we learned a lot about each other and our listeners. The consensus was: NO UNWARRANTED DICK PICS!

We've all had to present our "best selves" in a job interview, but what if we could be 100% honest? In tonight's episode, we give our honest-to-god answers to some common interview questions — and to be real, we would totally hire ourselves 😂 Listen in to meet "Business Hannah," learn how Katy's RBF has gotten her every job she's gotten (that's grammar, folks), and remind Sandra that dinosaurs aren't a hoax, no matter what some of her family says 🦖

Welcome back ladies and gents! We definitely all have 1 thing in common at the moment, which is COVID-19. Listen in as we discuss what its like to be quarantined and how we are all getting through!

We all have songs that have turned into the soundtracks of our lives — this special quarantine episode we all unite via Skype to dive into the top five songs that have defined who we are up to this point, from the shameful to the nostalgic, and everything in between. This episode also comes with a special YouTube video of our recording session...so if you've been wanting to put our faces with our voices, here's your chance! We hope everyone is staying safe, isolated, and sanitary during this weird fucking time. We love you and can't wait to see you on the other side of all this craziness 💕🧼 YouTube: https://youtu.be/MdD0me2E0o0 Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/1270136267/playlist/5gEy8zOmQp3cDM6Ah7jiOb?si=9-agz-FHR6q_1zaZb5ooSg

We're celebrating our own fashion queen Suzie's 30th birthday by talking all things clothes, style, and shopping. Listen along as we share our favorite styles, the challenges we run into, and different ways we use our clothes to boost our moods. Also in this episode: Katy joins us from Quarantine Corner, Blackout Hannah is back on her bullshit, and all of Sandra's salt lamp dreams come true! Extras: 16 Batshit Historical Fashion Facts That'll Blow Your Damn Mind

Change of plans! Hannah and Sandra are both traveling, and Katy is avoiding both of them for epidemic safety reasons — so this week we're giving our new listeners a chance to get to know us a little better and throwing it back to the episode where we talk about a few of those weird-ass things that make us unreasonably happy. Plus we dive into a little dirty talk...can you guess which of us is the giggler? 🚽😂

Aunt Flow, the Red Wedding, Shark Week, Code Red....yep, we are talking PERIODS! 🩸 We get into the science, sex, history, and middle school traumas that go along with Riding the Cotton Pony, so buckle up bitches (and be brave, boys...you might learn something).

Who ARE we?!? Don't worry, the Meyers-Briggs test knows even better than we do 🤯 This week we take a deep dive into our personality types and how they affect everything from our careers to our sex lives — and yes, each of us feels personally seen (and attacked) on a spiritual level. We also get REAL personal about our buttholes and test our psychic abilities to reach Suzie from beyond the grave ☠️ Take your own (free, fun, and easy!) personality test on CrystalKnows.com and then nerd out along with us about the different MBTI types on Truity.com! 🤓

We were always told not to discuss religion with friends...but where's the fun in that?? In this episode, we're discussing our own experiences, perspectives, and theories on religion and spirituality. Plus we share what our 5 y/o selves would do with 30 y/o privileges, and Hannah loses her keys, but we find Jesus between Jamie Lee Curtis' legs 🙏 Cheers, bitches!

We’re taking a week off to recover from our wild Fancy Dress weekend and to celebrate Katy passing her real estate exam! This week we’re throwing it back to one of our favorite episodes — the one where y’all sent in your own kinky delights for us to read on the show. We love this episode because it reminds us that our listeners are just as weird and raunchy as we are! So...thank y’all for being the best! We’ll be back next week with some brand new content. In the meantime, here are a few fellow podcasts we’re super into right now — go show them some love! Sword & ScaleYou're Wrong AboutTapes From the DarksideBeach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

Flickin' the bean, chokin' the chicken, jerkin' off, jackin' off, dj diddlin'. That's right, we're talking masturbation. You do it, your partner does it, your parents, grandparents and even your bag boy...especially the bag boy. Listen in as we discuss our experiences and advice!