Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

So, this week we’re doing something a little different. Rather than visit a lost space we’re setting out to answer the question ‘is the ancient art of cruising about to be lost?’. I know that's a fairly dramatic question, but there are a number of factors - like hook up apps and the over-gentrification of our cities - that seem to threaten these little discreet woodlands or private beaches from offering a secret place for people to meet and do the things that they do... Anyway, to help me answer this question I am joined by Marcus McCann, who is the writer of the book Park Cruising: What Happens When We Wander Off the Path. And, after writing a whole book about cruising I think he may know a thing or two about the subject. If you've ever wanted: then I think this is the episode for you! If you want to grab a copy of Marcus's book Park Cruising: What Happens When We Wander Off the Path then you can find it: ⁠Amazon UK⁠ ⁠Amazon USA⁠ Bookshop.org Full disclosure - if you buy using any of these links I will get a small commission. Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mmccnn/ X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/mmccnn --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

LA. Los Angeles. City of Angels. It's not really known to be the easiest of towns to live in. But, i think that's part of what makes it so exciting, right? Not to completely plagiarise a popular song, but if you can make it there then... you know the rest... And this is what brought Karl Dunn, who has just released his first book How To Burn A Rainbow: My Gay Marriage Didn't Make Me Whole, My Divorce Did, to town. In amongst all the newness, and networking parties with fellow wannabes, there was a reliable, dependable small gay bar in Venice Beach called Roosterfish where Karl could escape the inanity of tinseltown and just be in a place where (here I am about to steal lyrics again) everybody knew his name.... If you want to grab a copy of Karl's new book 'How To Burn A Rainbow: My Gay Marriage Didn't Make Me Whole, My Divorce Did' then you can find it: Amazon UK Amazon USA Full disclosure - if you buy using any of these links I will get a small commission. Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/karldunn/⁠ Website: ⁠https://www.karldunn.com/⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

So, if you're reading these show notes I'm going to go ahead and make the assumption that you know about the Pulse nightclub shooting that happened in Orlando in 2016. And I'm also going to assume that you've heard some of the stories from survivors and families of victims about the impact of that night. But, now that we're a few years on and people's attention has moved elsewhere what happens to those feelings that are sitting there for people that were impacted by that night? What if Pulse was your safe space? How do you move on whilst never forgetting the importance of that space? Well, for actor / writer JJ Ivey, who turned up to Pulse every Tuesday for karaoke night, there are still a mix of emotions. They're obviously really grateful for what that space facilitated for them, but they're still figuring out how to grieve it properly. What I appreciated most about this week's conversation is that JJ was really open about some of the messiness of their emotions and how they are continuing to make sense of something that will never make sense... Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jjivey_actor/ Website: https://www.jjivey.com/ Takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

I've been thinking a lot lately about how your life can just happen to you. And, if you're not careful you can wake up one day wondering how you ended up there. But then, there are times when we take the bull by the horns and throw caution to the wind (and all the other cliches that you can think of), even if we know we might fail. Anyway, I had a wonderful reminder of that strength and courage that we can summon this week when I spoke to the cabaret performer Rudy Jeevanjee. Rudy found, through the Cocoa Butter Club, (which hosted regular nights at lost London space Her Upstairs), his people AND his purpose. What more could you ask for? Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rudyjeevanjee/ Takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

I love hearing people's stories of places that are close to their hearts - places where they spent tonnes of time, met lots of wonderful people, and figured out things about themselves. But, you know what else I love? When people want to talk about places that they HATED! And hate is maybe too strong a word for this week's guest's experience, but I still enjoyed hearing about how the sticky floors and the dark, dank bar were just not up their alley. And who's alley were we not up? Well, it's Layne the Auctionista, who joined me to talk about Seven, the aforementioned dark bar that was found in London, Ontario, Canada. Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow Layne Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theauctionista/⁠ Website: https://auctionista.ca/⁠ Takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

So, if you were to ask me to overly generalise and boil down the types of experiences that guests on this show have had when first accessing a queer space I'd say they neatly fit in to two categories: 1) there are those who feel instantly at home and like they've arrived. 2) there are those who feel like an outsider, or a 'tourist' in the space. Sometimes that feeling of being an outsider goes away after a few visits when they get the chance to ease in to the space and better understand the culture. But sometimes they remain a tourist... which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Which brings us to this week's guest - author, screenwriter, and producer Abdi Nazemian - who never stopped feeling like a tourist, but still credits his lost space, Disco 2000 at The Limelight in New York City, with inspiring him to be passionate and brave and fun. We talk about the club kid scene in this episode, which was happening in NYC in the early 90s. I don't think you need to know much about the history of the scene to follow the conversation, but if you're so inclined I'd recommend reading this article to find out more (they even have their own Wikipedia page!) Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abdaddy/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/Abdaddy Website: https://www.abdinazemian.com/ Takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

We seem to have, in the last few months, had a lot of religious guests, and through that we've had a lot of conversations about how religiosity can be in direct conflict with queerness, and all the issues that that can create. But what we haven't really talked about are the similarities between religion and queerness. And, to be fair, there probably aren't that many, but what stuck out for me in this week's conversation is that they both offer community and the promise of belonging. And that might not have specifically been what this week's guest, Dr Luke Wilson, was seeking in either, but that's what stood out for me in this conversation. Luke was an Evangelical Christian in his teens and 20s, and though that provided certainty in some aspects of his life, it also threw up a whole host of questions and points of conflict for him. And, it was at an unknown gay bar in Albuquerque, New Mexico (where he happened to be visiting for a conference) that he got a proper peek at what it might mean if he left religion behind and embraced his queerness. Find out more in this week's episode. Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Takeaways Evangelicalism can have a profound impact on personal identity and sexuality, often leading to feelings of anger and frustration. Motivations for embracing evangelicalism can include the desire for community and the need to appease family members. Evangelical beliefs can be intellectually inconsistent and resistant to questioning. Transitioning away from a religious community can involve untangling one's life and finding new sources of support and community. Entering a gay bar for the first time can be an exhilarating and transformative experience, especially for individuals who have repressed their sexuality due to religious or societal pressures. Premeditation and repression often accompany the exploration of one's queerness, as individuals navigate the tension between their desires and their religious or moral beliefs. The queer community can provide a sense of belonging and authenticity that may be lacking in other areas of life, allowing individuals to embrace their true selves. Early encounters and experiences with same-sex attraction can be confusing and awkward, often leaving individuals with feelings of guilt and shame. Living authentically and allowing lived experiences to shape one's beliefs can lead to a more fulfilling and genuine life, even if it means challenging previously held religious or moral frameworks. The process of self-acceptance and embracing one's queer identity can be a profound and transformative experience. Finding a supportive community of like-minded individuals can be instrumental in navigating the challenges of coming out and living authentically. Religious upbringings can create internal conflicts and feelings of shame and guilt for queer individuals. Conversion therapy is a harmful and ineffective practice that can lead to further self-hatred and emotional distress. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

Can you really call yourself queer if you don't have a weird love/hate relationship with your home town? Because even if you love the place that you're from and you had an idyllic childhood there's still that reckoning that you need to have with all of those feelings of isolation and anticipation judgement and scorn when you came to terms with your identity... and, sometimes even experiencing ACTUAL judgement and scorn. Which brings us to today's guest (not that I'm asking you to judge and scorn him, just that this experience of feeling unwanted in his hometown is something that is familiar to him). It's singer/songwriter Matt Fishel. Matt grew up in Nottingham, England in the 90s, and, in this weird pre-internet age (when it wasn't always easy to discover gay bars) he found himself at what he thought was the only gay bar in town, The Mill. Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow my guest Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mattfishel Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.mattfishel.com Takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

How much of yourself do you bring to the spaces that you spend time in? How much of the different sides of yourself do you bring out when you are at work? At dinner with friends? Spending time with your family? Hanging out at the club? Do you dial back your queerness, do you push down your beliefs or censor your thoughts? Or, are you one of those people who is just 100% themselves no matter where they go? I think that there are merits to both approaches, so I'm not necessarily advocating one over the other. But, I find it fascinating to examine our behaviours and understand the reasons behind our approaches. And this is one of the conversations that I had with this week's guest, the host of the Queer News podcast, Anna DeShawn. Anna is a black, masc-of-centre lesbian, and when she was younger she felt that she had to dial up or dial down different parts of herself depending on where she was. But not, as it so happens, at her lost space - the lesbian bar Star Gaze in Chicago. Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow my guest Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/annadeshawn/⁠ Website: ⁠https://annadeshawn.com/⁠ Takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

There's one question that gets asked in this week's episode that’s really stuck with me and that I continued to ponder even after we'd said our goodbyes and turned our microphones off... And that question is: how do you know when you have become the person that you’re supposed to be? By that I mean - at what point do you say 'yes this is the person I was supposed to be' rather than continue to strive and figure that out? Or, do you just kind of like make do with who you presently are and accept that that might change one day? And it's one of those annoying questions where there probably isn't an answer, so it's not worth expending any energy trying to figure it out, but if you have any suggestions do let me know! But for now, let’s focus on our guest for this week’s episode, Amethysta Herrick, writer and host of the Gender Identity Weekly podcast. Amethysta came out as a trans woman in 2022, but if you've ever come out then you know that it takes a lot of mental computation and processing to get to that point and it's usually something that you know about a long time before you're willing to share it with the wider world. But luckily for us we have queer spaces where it's safe to explore these things. And, one of the places that helped Amethysta explore and understand her identity was the Athens, Georgia bar Boneshakers, where, way back in the 90s, she got to try out an alternate identity - she named herself Selina after Catwoman's civilian name - and just got to flirt, hang out, and exist as herself. Do you have any memories of Boneshakers, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/lostspacespod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow my guest Find out more about Amethysta by listening to her podcast, Gender Identity Weekly, or by visiting her website (https://www.amethysta.io/) Takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

Have you ever shown up at the tail-end of a really exciting party just as everything was ending, and you get that overwhelming feeling of having had missed out on something big? Well, that's kinda what happened to illustrator and cartoonist Eric Kostiuk Williams. He had moved to Toronto in 2008, and took a few years to discover the corner of the scene that felt right for him - in his word, the 'art f*g' scene - but just as he was finding his feet he could feel that the scene was shifting and moving on, meaning that he always feels that he missed out on many magical nights in his lost space, The Beaver. But that's not to say that he still didn't have a good time! We caught up to talk about his new book, 2am Eternal, which documents 10 years of Toronto nightlife flyers that he illustrated - along the way we talk about when and how to leave the party, Eric's relationship with the word 'queer', and letting go of your twink-dom. Do you have any memories of The Beaver, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eric.k.w/ Website: https://www.kostiukwilliams.com/ Takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

So, it's well documented on this show that queer spaces are good for many things - they're for dancing, socialising, drinking, falling down, getting back up, losing yourself, finding yourself in the arms of some strange men at 2am in the morning... BUT, they are also for organising and activism, and I think that's something we don't talk about enough on this show. That's all about to change. This week we are joined by activist Dr Syrus Marcus Ware, who joined me to talk about The Red Spot, in Toronto, Canada. This was a space where he unwound, met and connected with many fellow organisers, and planned protests and marches in the late 90s... Oh, yes, you read correctly! We are headed back to the 90s, and our conversation starts with the most 90s conversation ever, where Syrus explains all about how answering machines and pagers worked! Do you have any memories of The Red Spot, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/syrusmarcus Twitter: https://twitter.com/syrusmarcusware Website: https://www.syrusmarcusware.com/ Takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

I know there's always the risk with this show of completely romanticising queer spaces as these glistening oasis' of tolerance and acceptance. But, that's really not the case - despite how wonderful and freeing they can be, they can also be a bit shitty and exclusionary. And I was reminded of that this week when I sat down to talk to talk to Andrew Gurza, who is a disability awareness consultant and activist, as well as being the host of the Disability After Dark podcast. We caught up to discuss The Edge, which was a gay bar in Ottawa, Canada, and held so much promise for Andrew but pretty much failed to deliver. But, that's not to say that this is a totally depressing episode. That Andrew is one horny guy, and he seems to have mastered the art of turning every conversation into one about blow jobs, so penises and giggling come up a lot, as well as the despair we both feel about mainstream gay male culture! So, in other words - something for everyone (?)! Do you have any memories of The Edge, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Andrew by following him on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/andrewgurza6/) or visiting his website (https://www.andrewgurza.com/). Finally, make sure you listen to his podcast Disability After Dark! Takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

I have a fairly straightforward relationship with religion in that... well, I don't have one. I wasn't brought up religious, I've never dabbled in religiousity, and it's never seemed to be something that particularly drew me in. Where it's a bit more fuzzy for me is when talking about the intersection between queerness and religiousness. It'll come as no surprise to you when I say that most religions take a fairly strong stance when it comes to queerness (and that stance isn't one of embrace and love). And, so, I was always so baffled by people who were both religious and queer, and how they found ways to balance both of those identities. I thought they were in denial or trying to please everyone or trying to be a 'respectable' gay. But, my views have changed - as I get older I can understand how useful religion can be (and, on top of that, it's kind of none of my business if someone else wants to be religious). I'm telling you all of this because this week I had a really interesting conversation with Crystal Cheatham, who is the founder and CEO of the OurBible app, an app for progressive Christians that she developed when she got fed-up of the homophobic BS she was encountering on other mainstream apps. We caught up to talk about the lesbian bar Sisters, which was in Philadelphia, USA, that she started going to when she was but a little gay-by. And, I think you're going to enjoy this conversation. I personally got a lot of insight, and a new perspective, on how to hold religious views alongside your rampant queerness (!). Do you have any memories of Sisters?, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Crystal by following her on X (https://twitter.com/crystalcheatham) or visiting her website (https://www.crystalcheatham.me/)/ Or, if it tickles your fancy why not download the Our Bible app, which is a community space for people who identify as spiritual but not religious, progressive Christian, or nothing at all. Key takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

We talk in this episode a little about Lamya's new memoir, Hijab Butch Blues. If you're interested in snagging yourself a copy why not take a look at my Bookshop store? https://uk.bookshop.org/a/13642/9781785788499 Books! Is there anything more inviting and accepting than a good book - one that seems to know you better than you know yourself? Books were my best friend when I was growing up, and they seemed to always provide comfort and solace from whatever shit was happening elsewhere in my life (which was usually the horror of high school). And there's something so magical about going to a library or going to a book shop and just being surrounded by the possibilities and the universes that were inside. And, I have a hunch I'm not the only one who thinks this way - in fact, this week I'm joined by author Lamya H, who found themselves drawn to the queer, trans and sex worker run bookshop Bluestockings when they were a fresh transplant to NYC. (And, for clarity's sake, it's worth saying that Bluestockings still exists, but it's no longer at its original location on Allen St, which is where Lamya first found it) Do you have any memories of Bluestockings, or a queer space from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Lamya H by following them on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/lamyaisangry) or visiting their website (https://www.lamyah.com/) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

It's time to put on your skinny jeans, dig out your studded belt, and apply about a week's worth of black eyeliner, because this week.... we're going emo! Now, if you’re listening to this episode 300 years from now and you’re like ‘what the heck is emo’ let me break it down for you... According to dictionary.com emo is 'a style of rock music resembling punk but having more complex arrangements and lyrics that deal with more emotional subjects'. And, as with every good genre of music there is a scene, a style of dress, and a way of thinking... But, enough of my thinly disguised judgement - this week comedian and podcaster Matt Hey is taking us to Hot Damn, an emo night in Sydney, Australia, in, of course, the most emo of decades - the 00s. And, legitimately, Hot Damn sounds like it was the place to be - different rooms playing different music, live bands, and every month there was a themed party (think 'Spring Break', 'School Graduation') and they would have novelty pop-ups like kissing booths and a mechanical bull in the shape of a giant penis. Growing up on the Central Coast (which is about 1 - 1.5 hours outside of Sydney), the club helped Matt normalise being different and seeing people there just not giving a fuck was liberating. But, listen to the whole episode to find out the full story... Do you have any memories of Hot Damn, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod) or Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Matt by following him on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/alrighthey) or listen to his podcast High Scrollers! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

This study was published at the beginning of 2024, and it talks about the key role of Aunties and 'othermothers' in supporting queer children to flourish by providing emotional and practical support. Admittedly, it's probably one of those studies that confirms what everyone else has known for years, but it's particularly interesting to me because I didn't grow up with any adult female figures in my life other than my mother (and teachers at school, I suppose, but there's a distance and a power dynamic that means that isn't quite the same). So, in order to explore this more (and ask all the stupid questions that are bouncing around in my head) I sat down with writer Barrak Alzaid, who told me all about his grandmother, Mama Latifa, whose house acted as a safe haven and magical space for Barrak when he was growing up in 1980s and 90s Kuwait. Along the way we talk about different cultural understandings of the coming out journey, what happens when that coming out journey doesn't go according to plan, and which of the characters from the 80s cartoon Thundercats is the most shaggable.... Do you have any memories from queer spaces that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod) and Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod). Find out more about Barrak by visiting his website (https://barrakalzaid.com/) or follow him on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/barrakstar) or X (https://twitter.com/barrakstar) Key takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

On this week's show I'm starting to question whether I should be getting in to the world of kink or not. And, who is enticing me over to the kinky side? Why, it's podcaster and well-known kinkster Auntie Vice, who tells me all about what drew her to the world of kink, as well as what was so special about her lost space, Wicked Grounds in San Francisco, USA. Find out more about Auntie Vice by listening to the Fat Girls on Top podcast, following her on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/auntievice) or visiting her website (www.auntievice.com) You can also reach out to me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod) or Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) - I'd love to hear from you! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

On this week's show I'm starting to question whether I should be getting in to the world of kink or not. And, who is enticing me over to the kinky side? Why, it's podcaster and well-known kinkster Auntie Vice, who tells me all about what drew her to the world of kink, as well as what was so special about her lost space, Wicked Grounds in San Francisco, USA. Find out more about Auntie Vice by listening to the Fat Girls on Top podcast, following her on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/auntievice) or visiting her website (www.auntievice.com) You can also reach out to me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod) or Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) - I'd love to hear from you! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

So it's fairly well established that I think queer spaces are really significant and an important way to explore your identity and dip your big toe into the queer lake of fabulosity. But, what we don't talk a lot about on this show is the importance of queer performance spaces, where people who are just starting out - singers, comedians, jugglers - have the chance to perform in front of an understanding audience (even if they do occasionally heckle and objectify you - somehow it's ok when it's a queer audience!). Anyway, that was my way of introducing this week's guest, comedian extraordinaire, Natali Caro, who found a queer comedy night at Giant Dwarf in Sydney early on in their career, and says that it helped them to be brave and try different things that helped them step into their comedic excellence. So much so, in fact, that it inspired them to set up their own night - Gag - that we will find out more about during this episode. Do you have any memories of Giant Dwarf, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod) and Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod). Find out more about Natali by following them on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/nati_daddy_/) Takeaways Performing to a queer audience is often more rewarding and understanding than performing to a non-queer audience. Comedy can be a powerful tool for self-expression and reaching people with important messages. Overcoming shyness and pursuing comedy can be a transformative experience. The first solo performance can be nerve-wracking but can also lead to personal growth and confidence. Queer comedy festivals provide opportunities for performers to showcase their work in a supportive and inclusive environment. Inclusive comedy spaces are important for marginalised communities who often feel excluded from mainstream comedy. Queer clubbing can be challenging for individuals who don't feel like they fit into the traditional party scene or who prefer non-clubbing related entertainment. Creating an inclusive space requires intentional programming, representation, and a welcoming atmosphere set by the host or organiser. The intangible element of 'vibes' plays a role in the overall experience of a comedy night or event. Measuring self-worth based on output can be detrimental and it's important to let go of the need for validation. Living in a cave may sound appealing at times, but human connection and applause can bring joy and fulfillment! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message