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The Relationship Help Show - Handling Hijackal™ Havoc

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Expert guests & tips for getting along with the humans you care about. Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor offers a wide range of advice on improving the way you navigate life with others. Whether at home, work or play, dealing with humans can be tricky. Learn how to do it well and increase your love, trust and emotional intimacy for more fulfilling relationships.

Expert guests & tips for getting along with the humans you care about. Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor offers a wide range of advice on improving the way you navigate life with others. Whether at home, work or play, dealing with humans can be tricky. Learn how to do it well and increase your love, trust and emotional intimacy for more fulfilling relationships.
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Expert guests & tips for getting along with the humans you care about. Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor offers a wide range of advice on improving the way you navigate life with others. Whether at home, work or play, dealing with humans can be tricky. Learn how to do it well and increase your love, trust and emotional intimacy for more fulfilling relationships.






Why You Won't Find the Intimacy You Long for If You're Needy GUEST: Rabbi Manis Friedman

What allows for growth of intimacy? You want an emotionally rich, intimate relationship. You'll never find it--in any healthy fashion--if you're needy. That's why you need to do your own work first! You know I talk about "doing your own work" first frequently. It's because you need to be the healthiest you can be to attract--and sustain--a healthy, emotionally intimate relationship. You simply cannot do it if you are needy! (If you want to work on this, I can help.) Today, I'm talking once...


How to Help Schools Be Safer for Kids in Tough Situations GUEST: Aaron L. Smith

TOO MUCH BULLYING! TOO MANY TEEN SUICIDES! This needs to stop, and we need to do whatever we can to stop bullying now, and intervene with bullying victims immediately. Did you ever imagine that the internet would be so full of stories of bullying? And, then, did you think that the next thing would be too many teen suicides? Yes, it's a natural progression, but what a nasty one! And, hey, parents! Are you teaching your children not to bully others? Are you validating your child's...


How To Make Lemonade From Lemons a Hijackal Left Behind GUEST: Stepahni Roberts

Escaping the Hijackal Trap! That's the name of one of my books, AND the focus of today's interview with Stephani Roberts. First, you have to recognize you're in a #Hijackal trap, right? Then, you have to move on to find your best next steps. Today, Stephani Roberts shares her journey from first recognition that she was in an emotionally abusive relationship--and the red flags she originally overlooked--to the realization that for the emotional safety of herself and her girls, she needed to...


Easing Out of Our Clutter & What Our Parents Left Behind GUEST: Sharon McRill

Any chance you have "stuff?" Or, whatever you prefer to call it! Maybe, you've had it for awhile, and you're attached to it. Maybe, you are always saying you're going to deal with it. Maybe, you just inherited it from parents who have passed. Maybe, it's a HUGE energy leak, and every time you think about it, you want to run away! Maybe, today is the day it will all make sense how to go about deciding what stays and what goes, what you keep and what you release. >>>>>> Don't miss all...


What is Emotional Savvy & Using it to Heal Relationships Energetically GUEST: Kerri Hummingbird

Wow! Seventy three episodes and I'm finally talking about what Emotional Savvy means. You know that "to be savvy" means that you know what's up and what's going on. You're awake, aware, and alert. You're "with it!" Great! You may have the practical knowledge, but it's not much use if it's not applied. Relationships require emotional savvy. Otherwise, you don't make good judgments. You don't see what's really going on, and maybe prefer denial. Not much emotional savvy there,...


Why We're Reluctant to Call It Abuse: One Woman's Story of Escape GUEST: April Giaque

Why are we so reluctant to call it abuse? Today's episode starts with my response to this question. Of course, no one wants to think of themselves as being abused. So, you justify it, rationalize, and make excuses for it. Sometimes, you even decide it's your own fault! WRONG! And, I'll explain why today. Verbal abuse and emotional abuse start small, usually. You write it off as someone "having a bad day" or "going through a rough patch." Then, you want to avoid looking at the overall...


Is There a Right Way or Wrong Way to Divorce? GUEST: Jennifer Hurvitz

DIVORCE! Many people fear that process. Others welcome it. Where are you on this spectrum? Is there really a right to divorce? Is there a wrong way to divorce? What makes the difference? WHO makes the difference? My guest, Jennifer Hurvitz, is the best selling author of the novella, One Happy Divorce, and winner of the Best Television Episode Screenplay Aware at the Atlanta Comedy Film Festival for her TV pilot based off her blog, The Truth Hurvitz. Jennifer's readers describe her as...


Is There a Growing Chasm Between Men & Women? GUEST: Robert Manni

Men and Women. How different are men and women from one another? What about the research on the differences between men's and women's brains? How does this play out in behavior? What you need to know first! You'll hear fascinating perspectives from today's guest, so I've opened this episode with some actual, researched facts about the differences in the brains of men and women. You might be surprised what this high-level, long-term research from Stanford University. When you look at all...


How to Prevent Others from Stealing Your Peace of Mind. GUEST - Shanthi Yogini

Would you like more peace of mind? Do you let other people steal your peace of mind? Then, today's episode will be of great interest to you! Do you feel badly when you think you're judging? Do you catch yourself judging other people's motives? Do you know the difference between judgment, discernment, and observation? In today's episode, those are the things I talk about before the interview. So worthwhile thinking about! You may be beating yourself up for no good reasons, and that's...


What About Men...and Those Confused By Them? GUEST: Robert Kandell

Is life confusing for men these days? Are men confusing to you these days? So, what's this all about? Why are men and women confused about the roles of men? Or, are they? My guest thinks they are! Personally, I think that there is much confusion over roles, and that they are fluid in each family. It's a BIG, IMPORTANT conversation for every couple to have before they get married: to learn about each other, talk about values, vision for life, beliefs, and goals. Talk about how those values...


Dating? How to Spot Men Who'll Only Waste Your Time GUEST Ronnie Ann Ryan

Are you dating? Have you kissed more than your fair share of frogs? Today's episode will help you stop doing that. Really! Although it's addressed to women, MEN, you need to listen in, too. You need to know this! Women, are you with a man who won't protect your name and won't protect the relationship, either. Any chance that he won't profess you to his friends, proudly tell his friends about you? Yes? Believe me, then: HE'S NOT SERIOUS. And, don't believe he is! That's what I'm taking...


The Mindset Shift It Takes To Live the Life You Want GUEST Ashley Logndon

Wow! It's 2019. Happy New Year! Did you make New Year's Resolutions? Are any the same as last year? Oops! Why is that? Why do we make resolutions and let them drop? Or, say we want something to happen in our lives, and do little to get it? Or, say we believe something, and not demonstrate it by living it? Today's show is about actually taking the steps necessary to live the life you most want. Yes, really! Whether you call them goals, intentions, desires, or purposes doesn't really...


What You Need First If You Want to Have Great Relationships. Host Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Today's episode is so important: a required ingredient for a great relationship! And, it may not be what you think. We all live, work, or play with other humans, and we know it sometimes takes more skills than at other times. Some people are more work. Some people are toxic and you need to recognize that right away, and steer clear! And, you may think that your past relationships define you. They can, but I hope they do not! It's not rocket science to understand that your early training...


How to Have the Best Divorce From a Narcissistic Hijackal GUEST: Jason LeVoy

Best divorce possible from a narcissistic Hijackal? Does such a thing exist? Stay tuned. Yes, divorce is often messy, and definitely messier when there is a difficult person, or a toxic person involved, those people I call Hijackals®! All divorces--in my opinion--go in two clear ways: one end is a Divisive Divorce, and the other end is the Collaborative Divorce. There is a third that takes in the benign, neutral space in the middle that some people wander in, too. If you're divorcing--or,...


What's the Relationship Between Autoimmune Conditions & Emotional Well-being GUEST: Sharon Sayler

Do you think that there is a connection between what goes on in your emotional life and what goes on in your body? You betcha! Today's episode starts with me giving you some insights into the hows, whys, and benefits of creating uninterrupted time in your life frequently. Do you do that? Most people don't, so take this in. It can make a HUGE difference in your feeling of well-being! When you have difficulties--especially chronic stress and anxiety--from being raised by, living with, or...


How to Create the Intimacy You Crave Without the Fear GUEST: Allana Pratt

In today's episode, I'm talking about what it takes to get past the fear of intimacy that a past relationship has taught you. It happens so often, doesn't it? You fall in love, and really trust someone. You are tell them your secrets, and share your vulnerabilities. You so want to have that one person you can share life with, warts and all. You want to believe you are safe. Sometimes, you are safe, and it all works beautifully. It deepens, grows, and enriches over your time...


Great Relationships Require Trust. How Can You Build & Rebuild it? GUEST: Scott Schilling

In today's episode, I'm talking about what you really need to have if you want a great relationship. If you have the ingredients, you can put them into the relationship. If you're missing them within yourself, and you go looking for them in another, you won't be able to have the relationship you know you want. You've heard me say many times that you cannot give a gift you do not have. That applies to relationships, too. What you put into it is so important. How have your past relationships...


Speaking Up! Escaping Domestic Abuse: What It Takes & Why It Takes So Long GUEST: Mickie Zada

In today's episode, I give you some new perspectives--and effective words to say--when people treat you in ways you do not appreciate. For many listeners, "ways I do not appreciate" usually come from one particular person, a #Hijackal®. Whether that is true for you or not, you want to feel and be confident that you can trust yourself to speak up when someone says something rude, wrong, or abusive, without concern that you will turn into a blaming, shaming, or abusive person yourself. That's...


What About Mediation? And, Debunking Divorce As Failing or Not Good For the Kids GUEST: Anthony Diaz

In today's episode, I give you five solid reasons why mediation is a good choice...and, why it may not work well with a #Hijackal! There are several important things to know about mediation. Some folks don't know about them, and I wanted to be sure you did. It's important when deciding how to proceed to resolve differences in partnerships of any kind, and relationships of all kinds. I've mediated in workplace settings, in primary family relationships, with estranged sisters in two parts of...


Finding Yourself Again After Trauma, Grief & Loss GUEST: Dr. Sherry Cormier

In today's episode, I talk about steps you can take to manage the pain of trauma or loss. You've experienced these things, no matter when in your life they occurred. Until you work them through, they will interfere with your health and the health of your current relationships, as well as with your perspective on life. You don't want to be carrying past issues into current relationships. That's often a primary cause of marriages not working: partners bring the pains of previous...