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Childhood best friends, Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie share the dysfunction in their lives, sexual expertise, and sometimes wacky personal views on current events. Nothing is off limits, and everything is funny.

Childhood best friends, Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie share the dysfunction in their lives, sexual expertise, and sometimes wacky personal views on current events. Nothing is off limits, and everything is funny.
More Information

Location:

United States

Description:

Childhood best friends, Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie share the dysfunction in their lives, sexual expertise, and sometimes wacky personal views on current events. Nothing is off limits, and everything is funny.

Language:

English

Contact:

5102065080


Episodes

16: So Fuckin Majestic

1/15/2019
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The following are Rob the engineers notes (guy notes) 1\. Range rover white girl curves 2\. Pata watched netflix and been on her me 3\. Back page and cryptocurrency 4\. Minimalism 5\. Documentary disagreements 6\. Sexworkers 7\. Good karma moments 8\. Government fuck ups 9\. Face advice 10\. Golden showers and rough sex 11\. Billy's tomatoes weed plants got busted 12\. Pata family crack rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:42:28

16: So Fuckin Majestic

1/14/2019
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The following are Rob's "guy notes." 1\. Range rover white girl curves 2\. Pata watched netflix and been on her meds 3\. Back page and cryptocurrency 4\. Minimalism 5\. Documentary disagreements 6\. Sexworkers 7\. Good karma moments 8\. Government fuck ups 9\. Face advice 10\. Golden showers and rough sex 11\. Billy's tomatoes weed plants got busted 12\. Pata family crack https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:45:29

15: Stay Outta The Creek

1/9/2019
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Dog rescues, R. Kelly's bullshit, disturbing childhood stories, bullying, some parenting tips, and dirty creek rendezvous. Trigger warning- sexual assault, grooming and other sensitive issues are discussed. https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:50:44

14: God's Well

12/31/2018
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It's New Year's Eve and in this final episode of 2018, Pata Fria and Crystal discuss the new year, white parents w mixed children, repairing your credit, being a submissive Christian wife, how Pata Fria got scammed on craigslist and having foul-mouthed children. Have a safe and happy new year. Don't drive drunk. https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:32:05

13: "Cheese Sandwiches"

12/24/2018
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This week the chaos of Christmas, vintage tips on how to snag a husband, Karma and a false birth control method are all discussed. Crystal shares some family dysfunction and we find out why you shouldn't tell Pata Fria you own a restaurant. Happy Holidays xo https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:22:31

12: The Playboy Club

12/18/2018
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Mental health, toxic relationship behavior, and why Crystal should never enter a church, kick off this week's episode. The girls also talk about period sex, shitty celebrities, pervy friends, and Patafria's love of shock sites. The holidays, childhood snitching, and good ol' Florida also make an appearance this episode. As always, enjoy. PS- Patafria is still NOT a doctor. Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:28:43

11: Gramma's Heart Attack

12/11/2018
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This week the dysfunction gets a bit serious. The girls are discussing kaiser's strike, losing virginity, relationship advice, holding grudges, a few very personal stories, and more crying (what's new.) Of course the mood is lightened with some of Patafria's childhood antics, nail shop preferences, and gramma's "heart attack." This episode does require a trigger warning, as sexual assault is discussed. As always, enjoy. Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter...

Duration:01:34:28

10: Parental Advisory

12/4/2018
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This week the dysfunctional duo are offering up parental advice of all sorts. From the Hawaiian Pine-sol event, apologizing to your children, walking the parent/friend line, and teaching your children gratitude. The girls also touch on dick pics, "porn vs. dom" reality, and as always, listener questions. Enjoy. 💦 Get your holiday t-shirt pack at https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:44:51

9: Weird Sex

11/28/2018
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The holidays are here, and so is the dysfunction. This week the duo are talking about weird news, the online attack on sex-workers, favorite porn, a mirror ghost, and penis size. The girls close out with some listener questions, crazy sex, and a few funny stories. As always, enjoy. T-shirt holiday packs available at https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:51:20

8: Curing Rickets

11/19/2018
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Crystal’s father Big Billy is here and the dysfunction is outta control. "I didn't do drugs before I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, I just smoked pot, did acid and rode my motorcycle." Buckle up motherf$^#*s…. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:36:42

7: I'm A Doctor

11/12/2018
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From chemtrails, to California fires, to Patafria's burn unit vagina story, this week the girls are on fire, literally. The duo also goes over premature ejaculation, tampons vs. diva cups, racism, and a ghost story. This episode is packed with self-love, and of course some more crying, lol. As always, enjoy.. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:44:27

6: Gas station salad & Dirty Sanchez

11/6/2018
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The dysfunctional duo is back, and unapologetically unfiltered while discussing sex dolls, g-spot location, open marriages, liars, and prison relationships. They are breaking it down and dissecting. so listen up. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:38:29

5: The Stolen Car

10/30/2018
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It's episode five, and the dysfunction continues. This week the girls are talking about adults that don't do oral, scissoring, pegging, and the time Pata taught Crystal how to drive a stolen car. The girls take some listener questions, give a PSA about trunk junk, and close out with a Dom story. As always, dysfunction at its finest." 😬🙏 Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter...

Duration:01:37:54

4: Grandma Candy & Pocket Cheese

10/22/2018
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This week the deviant duo return with even more dysfunction. Vaginal hygiene, loving people while they're here. The two discuss, Halloween, ghost stories & superstitions & later in the show they answer listener questions, talk about male hygiene, and a Dom story to finish you off 💦… enjoy. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:48:22

3: Tether Ball

10/16/2018
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In this tell all episode Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie open up and share everything about themselves. Secrets are spilled. They discuss mental health, why we (women) settle for the bare minimum, and the difference between pedophiles and cougars. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:48:59

2: Dark Web

10/16/2018
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This episode requires a trigger warning. Serious issues are discussed including domestic violence, sex work/safety, murder, child abusers, and child molestation. The duo also touches on lighthearted subjects; The slut walk, favorite podcasts, birth charts, mental health, and a haunted house story that will definitely change the mood. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Duration:01:36:55

1: Purple Taser

10/10/2018
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For episode one, Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie come out with a bang. The girls start off discussing Pata Fria's recent BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift), crazy Florida stories, the infamous purple taser, mental illness, medications, and Crystal accidentally seeing her dad's package. They also go over Bill Cosby, bullies, raunchy sex stories, and receiving electronics from family members that still contained dick pics. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram...

Duration:01:57:49