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How Not To Sail Podcast

Arts & Culture Podcasts

"What could possibly go wrong?" Host Bradford Rogers learns some things NOT to do—and the occasional life lesson—while sailing the Gulf Coast of Florida and meeting salty characters. "Screwing up is part of cruising. Let me show you how!"

Location:

Atlanta, GA

Description:

"What could possibly go wrong?" Host Bradford Rogers learns some things NOT to do—and the occasional life lesson—while sailing the Gulf Coast of Florida and meeting salty characters. "Screwing up is part of cruising. Let me show you how!"

Language:

English

Contact:

7704583838


Episodes
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Ep. 68: Finding Jacie Sails

10/10/2025
After our first Atlanta How Not To Sail meetup (a month after losing the vessel), I get a voicemail that changes everything. And Big News... I've just launched The How Not To Sail Minute, a daily (weekdays) dose of How Not To Sail. Let me know what you think! HowNotToSail.com/minute

Duration:00:14:35

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Annapolis Meetup Friday 5pm at Davis’ Pub!

10/4/2025
Join me in Annapolis at Davis' Pub on Friday, Oct. 10 at 5pm! More info at HowNotToSail.com

Duration:00:02:13

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Ep. 67: A Compliant Individual (Losing Jacie Sails Finale)

6/27/2025
In which I finally decide to abandon ship prior to Hurricane Milton's arrival. Show Notes: HowNotToSail.com/67 Thank You, USCG! I want to thank the United States Coast Guard—particularly USCG Sector Key West and Station Key West. Thanks to BM2 Anthony Diggle and BM2 Ethan Kast for sitting down for a thorough interview in the hot sun amongst the roosters, bikers, tourists and children. (Apparently, Bosun's Mate 2 is a rating and Petty Officer is a rank…so I hope I didn't do any disservice by going with whichever appelation sounded best on the voiceover.) And of course, Major Thanks to the rest of the crew on the RBM45 who came out to get me: BM3 Billy Stone (Coxswain) BM3 Gianna Bracone (Boarding Officer/ Navigator) FN Reilly McCarthy (Engineer) Also, a hearty shout out to Petty Officer Nicholas Strasburg in Public Relations for letting me interview Anthony and Ethan. And to Ensign Jack Agar and OS3 Zachary Aparo over at SECTOR Key West...for reasons we can't disclose in this episode. Please remember, the Coast Guard is not out there to ruin your fun. They're out there to save your ass…which with proper seamanship and preparedness, you can hopefully avoid them having to do! Patreon Yes, you can join the Patreon crew and help keep How Not To Sail afloat (plus get way cool perks) for as little as $3 a month. Help Spread The Word! Looking for a way to help spread the gospel of How Not To Sail? (First of all, THANK YOU!) You can find a number of easy ways to help spread the word—many of them 100% free—at HowNotToSail.com/help How Not To Sail Email Newsletter Join the How Not To Sail email list and get the almost-sorta-biweekly newsletter at HowNotToSail.com/email Get The Book Want to enjoy your boat, visit awesome destinations, and skip the stress? Then be sure NOT to use any of the "handy tips" mentioned here. Author, sailor, and host of the How Not To Sail Podcast Bradford Rogers shares with you some of his easily-won but hard to forget advice with equal measures of wide-eyed befuddlement and extra-dry humor. (Shaken AND stirred.) Buy How Not To Sail at HowNotToSail.com/book Music What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor? (Traditional) - performed by Bradford Rogers and Peter Suarez ⚓️

Duration:00:31:57

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Ep. 66: Losing Jacie Sails, Pt. 2

3/25/2025
Wherein I engage in a pre-Milton Diesel Scavenger Hunt™, suffer an unpleasant evening, and finally run out of a critical item. Show Notes I don’t really have many—okay, any—photos from this episode, since I was, first of all, running around Venice and Sarasota like a madman, trying to find diesel and something to put it in; and after that it was as very long night and following morning. New for Patrons: Original Episode Scripts and Notes! Just FYI, I am now adding another perk for Patrons: Scripts from my wacky and detailed episode prep. (Okay, fine. Maybe it’s more like sadism. But hey, some folks seem to like it. The scripts, I mean.) Episode 66 involved many iterations, so I decided I should upload the salient bits to Patreon. Where I noticed there’s now a “Collections” area. So I thought to my alleged self, “Self, we should make a Scripts collection here!” And that’s exactly what I’m doing. I also uploaded scripts for Eps. 1, 5, and 6 (they will bubble up over the next few days), and aim to upload as many of the prior scripts as are available..as well as future ones…along with my various scribblings, comments, and edit/mix notes. If you wanna join the Patreon Crew, HERE’S THE LINK. In case yer not into the Patreon thing, I’ll also be making the “Scripts” collection available separately for purchase by curious HowNotToSailers for about the price of an adult beverage, once I get enough of ’em in the Collection. (Hey, it ain’t cheap owning a floating saltwater collector!) What could possibly go wrong? The Lees Are Killing Me (Check out Sondra’s blog!) I mean, in a good way. LOL. No, seriously…Jimmy and Sondra have been doing exactly what I want to be doing—namely, cruising! You may remember the Lees and s/v Utopia from Episode 34, “Not Always Utopia”…which is actually still one of the best podcast episodes. They have been “well seasoned” and have planned, prepared and sacrificed to get to this point, and I couldn’t be happier for them. Well played!!! If you want to see what awesome things they’re up to (or returning from) now (think “Bahamas”) just check out their blog, In The Lee. 🙂 Thanks to the United States Coast Guard So…we finally get a little more familiar with our Coastie friends in this episode, particularly BM2 Anthony Diggle. And there’s more to come in the next episode, as you can tell from the teaser at the end. I was tickled stinkless to get official permission to interview Anthony, and also BM2 Ethan Kast, while I was in Key West…and, um, also rather chagrined that as of yet, I haven’t been able to include any of Ethan’s audio in the podcast. :-/ But, well, first of all… I hope we can bring in some of Ethan’s audio a couple of episodes from now. (After all, he was an integral part of events you’re about to hear.) But also, I’m going to make all of Ethan (and Anthony)’s interview audio available for the Patreon Crew. Minus, perhaps, some of the shuffling around we did to avoid audio contamination from roosters, children, and/or airplanes. (You wouldn’t believe how many roosters there are in Key West, unless you’ve been there.) Thanks, Jim! Special thanks to Our Friend Jim, who…well, since we’re still in the “Losing Jacie Sails” part of the program, has been doing important things for How Not To Sail. Patreon Yes, you can join the Patreon crew and help keep How Not To Sail afloat (plus get way cool perks) for as little as $3 a month. Help Spread The Word! Looking for a way to help spread the gospel of How Not To Sail? (First of all, THANK YOU!) You can find a number of easy ways to help spread the word—many of them 100% free—at HowNotToSail.com/help How Not To Sail Email Newsletter Join the How Not To Sail email list and get the almost-sorta-biweekly newsletter at HowNotToSail.com/email Get The Book Want to enjoy your boat, visit awesome destinations, and skip the stress? Then be sure NOT to use any of the "handy tips" mentioned here. Author, sailor, and host of the How Not To...

Duration:00:24:57

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So How's Your New Year's Eve Going?

12/31/2024
Happy New Year's Eve! (And don't drop the phone like I did.)

Duration:00:03:31

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Update...and St. Pete Meetup Saturday!

11/26/2024
No, that wasn't a fart at the beginning. That was the boat. AND...be sure, if you're in the St. Pete area on Saturday, to join the "Jacie Sails Return" party at Chattaway in St. Pete from 4:00 to 6:00 p.m. Stay tuned to the audio podcast, any change will be posted here!

Duration:00:04:09

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We FOUND Her!

11/14/2024
Just sharing the good news... Thanks as always to our How Not To Sail Patreon Crew...! Your support (as you can imagine) is more important than ever right now.

Duration:00:01:04

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Ep. 65: Losing Jacie Sails, Pt. 1

11/7/2024
Wherein I decide I need to do something to save the boat, and...maybe it's not gonna work out. Show Notes The Latest on Jacie Sails Sadly, no news is…no news. There have been no confirmed sightings. However, I will post updates whenever there are any to hownottosail.com/update. (That link will always point to the page with the latest info.) Atlanta Meetup This Saturday Okay, the Atlanta meetup will be this Saturday, from 1-3pm ET at: 57th Fighter Group 3829 Clairmont Road Atlanta, GA 30341 (770) 234-0057 Everybody is invited. Special swag for Patrons. And something for everybody. Bring a friend…hey, I’m not buying! Help Keep How Not To Sail Afloat As I said in the midroll, How Not To Sail ain’t going anywhere any time soon. But obviously the work is gonna be even more challenging. So if you want to help keep the podcast on the air, you can do that for as little as $3 a month. I appreciate ya! Thanks to Able Seaman Dave from the Dumbing It Down With Dave podcast…and (breaking news!) our newest-minted Sailing Master Tal! (Who just leveled up from Boatswain: not necessary, but much appreciated, Cap’n!) And wait…wait! Just now: also a big thanks to our newest Boatswain Steve! Thank You, USCG! Speaking of appreciation, I want to take a minute to thank the awesome folks who serve in the United States Coast Guard. It is they who have given me the confidence to sail around South Florida this last decade. We’ll be hearing from a couple of the crew probably in the next episode (unless this is a three-parter…I’m not sure yet); but meanwhile, a special thanks to: BM2 Ethan Kast (OOD) BM2 Anthony Diggle (Boarding Officer) BM3 Billy Stone (Coxswain) BM3 Gianna Bracone (Boarding Officer/ Navigator) FN Reilly McCarthy (Engineer) Also, a shout out to Petty Officer Nicholas Strasburg in Public Relations, for allowing me to interview BM2 Anthony Diggle and BM2 Ethan Kast. Thank you! Were you a Patron at the Annapolis meetup? Send me your address! If you’re a Patron who was at the Annapolis meetup while I was out looking for my vessel a couple of weeks ago, please email me your mailing address (at bradford@hownottosail.com or via the contact page, so I can send you your t-shirt. All Episodes Now On YouTube So, besides optimizing the RSS feed, I’ve caught up all the episodes on the How Not To Sail YouTube channel. (I think!) Unless I’m having a senior moment, all future episodes will automatically be posted to YouTube as audio with a static image. But if I have an episode where there’s video content as well, of course I’ll post that one. It’s like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates. And of course, I may have some video-only content on YouTube, like the live update I did recently. How Not To Sail on Mastodon How Not To Sail is now on Mastodon…Check it out! How Not To Sail on RSS And for any of my fellow nerds who use an RSS reader to check out the news and blogs and such, you can follow How Not To Sail that way as well. More info at HowNotToSail.com/rss.

Duration:00:20:54

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Coming Soon: Losing Jacie Sails

10/18/2024
Trailer for upcoming podcast episode(s) about losing sailing vessel Jacie Sails while trying to protect her from Hurricane Milton.

Duration:00:01:16

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Ep. 64: I'm safe, but... (Milton, Pt. 2)

10/9/2024
I will NOT be at the Annapolis meetup…for reasons I think you’ll excuse. More to follow…but host a pint for me and for the vessel…!

Duration:00:01:23

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Ep. 63: Milton

10/6/2024
I’m on the way to move my vessel…and hope to see you on the other side, in Annapolis. (Where we’ll be having a meetup with ALL listeners.)

Duration:00:06:00

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Ep. 62: I Forgot The Grand Prize!

7/29/2024
Season 3 Party recap and Grand Prize drawing. “Live”…ish. Show Notes (and Python code for the raffle, in case you're a nerd) at HowNotToSail.com/62 Patreon Yes, you can join the Patreon crew and help keep How Not To Sail afloat (plus get way cool perks) for as little as $3 a month. Help Spread The Word! Looking for a way to help spread the gospel of How Not To Sail? (First of all, THANK YOU!) You can find a number of easy ways to help spread the word—many of them 100% free—at HowNotToSail.com/help How Not To Sail Email Newsletter Join the How Not To Sail email list and get the almost-sorta-biweekly newsletter at HowNotToSail.com/email Get The Book Want to enjoy your boat, visit awesome destinations, and skip the stress? Then be sure NOT to use any of the "handy tips" mentioned here. Author, sailor, and host of the How Not To Sail Podcast Bradford Rogers shares with you some of his easily-won but hard to forget advice with equal measures of wide-eyed befuddlement and extra-dry humor. (Shaken AND stirred.) Buy How Not To Sail at HowNotToSail.com/book Music What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor? (Traditional) - performed by Bradford Rogers and Peter Suarez ⚓️

Duration:00:06:27

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Ep. 61: Tour of the Boat (and Party Info!)

7/7/2024
Because what could be better than an *audio* tour of the boat? Party RSVP Link: https://hownottosail.com//party Patreon Yes, you can join the Patreon crew and help keep How Not To Sail afloat (plus get way cool perks) for as little as $3 a month. Help Spread The Word! Looking for a way to help spread the gospel of How Not To Sail? (First of all, THANK YOU!) You can find a number of easy ways to help spread the word—many of them 100% free—at HowNotToSail.com/help How Not To Sail Email Newsletter Join the How Not To Sail email list and get the almost-sorta-biweekly newsletter at HowNotToSail.com/email Get The Book Want to enjoy your boat, visit awesome destinations, and skip the stress? Then be sure NOT to use any of the "handy tips" mentioned here. Author, sailor, and host of the How Not To Sail Podcast Bradford Rogers shares with you some of his easily-won but hard to forget advice with equal measures of wide-eyed befuddlement and extra-dry humor. (Shaken AND stirred.) Buy How Not To Sail at HowNotToSail.com/book Music What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor? (Traditional) - performed by Bradford Rogers and Peter Suarez ⚓️

Duration:00:22:57

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Ep. 60: A New Way To Sail (Season Finale)

6/5/2024
Wherein we discover our prop has fallen off, search for said propeller, and discover a fun new method of travel upon the water. Show Notes at https://hownottosail.com/60 Patreon Yes, you can join the Patreon crew and help keep How Not To Sail afloat (plus get way cool perks) for as little as $3 a month. Help Spread The Word! Looking for a way to help spread the gospel of How Not To Sail? (First of all, THANK YOU!) You can find a number of easy ways to help spread the word—many of them 100% free—at HowNotToSail.com/help How Not To Sail Email Newsletter Join the How Not To Sail email list and get the almost-sorta-biweekly newsletter at HowNotToSail.com/email Get The Book Want to enjoy your boat, visit awesome destinations, and skip the stress? Then be sure NOT to use any of the "handy tips" mentioned here. Author, sailor, and host of the How Not To Sail Podcast Bradford Rogers shares with you some of his easily-won but hard to forget advice with equal measures of wide-eyed befuddlement and extra-dry humor. (Shaken AND stirred.) Buy How Not To Sail at HowNotToSail.com/book Music What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor? (Traditional) - performed by Bradford Rogers and Peter Suarez ⚓️

Duration:00:19:42

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Not The Droid You're Looking For (Announcement)

5/17/2024
An announcement.

Duration:00:01:59

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Ep. 59: Sarasota to Bradenton

5/6/2024
Wherein I have another senior moment about how long it takes to get somewhere in a sailboat; learn a How Not To Sail 101 lesson about using my eyes; and I may or may not have bumped into the dock in Bradenton. With good reason. With me are “The Admiral” and Jay Elmore, who provides the color commentary. See the Show Notes at HowNotToSail.com/59 ...we got photos from this episode, a craptastic map, and more! Patreon Yes, you can join the Patreon crew and help keep How Not To Sail afloat (plus get way cool perks) for as little as $3 a month. Help Spread The Word! Looking for a way to help spread the gospel of How Not To Sail? (First of all, THANK YOU!) You can find a number of easy ways to help spread the word—many of them 100% free—at HowNotToSail.com/help How Not To Sail Email Newsletter Join the How Not To Sail email list and get the almost-sorta-biweekly newsletter at HowNotToSail.com/email Get The Book Want to enjoy your boat, visit awesome destinations, and skip the stress? Then be sure NOT to use any of the "handy tips" mentioned here. Author, sailor, and host of the How Not To Sail Podcast Bradford Rogers shares with you some of his easily-won but hard to forget advice with equal measures of wide-eyed befuddlement and extra-dry humor. (Shaken AND stirred.) Buy How Not To Sail at HowNotToSail.com/book Music What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor? (Traditional) - performed by Bradford Rogers and Peter Suarez ⚓️

Duration:00:21:05

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Ep. 58: Southbound, Headed North

4/19/2024
In this episode, we finally get the boat out of the marina, have a bizarre interaction at a drawbridge, worry about a loose alternator belt, wonder if there's any oil in the engine...and maybe go aground in the Intracoastal Waterway (ICW). Patreon Yes, you can join the Patreon crew and help keep How Not To Sail afloat (plus get way cool perks) for as little as $3 a month. Help Spread The Word! Looking for a way to help spread the gospel of How Not To Sail? (First of all, THANK YOU!) You can find a number of easy ways to help spread the word—many of them 100% free—at HowNotToSail.com/help How Not To Sail Email Newsletter Join the How Not To Sail email list and get the almost-sorta-biweekly newsletter at HowNotToSail.com/email Get The Book Want to enjoy your boat, visit awesome destinations, and skip the stress? Then be sure NOT to use any of the "handy tips" mentioned here. Author, sailor, and host of the How Not To Sail Podcast Bradford Rogers shares with you some of his easily-won but hard to forget advice with equal measures of wide-eyed befuddlement and extra-dry humor. (Shaken AND stirred.) Buy How Not To Sail at HowNotToSail.com/book Music What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor? (Traditional) - performed by Bradford Rogers and Peter Suarez ⚓️

Duration:00:16:00

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Ep. 57: Who needs an engine?

4/5/2024
In this episode I prepare to go on a cruise down the coast...but a new wrinkle threatens not only the cruise, but also the future of the boat. Show notes: https://hownottosail.com/57 Patreon Yes, you can join the Patreon crew and help keep How Not To Sail afloat (plus get way cool perks) for as little as $3 a month. Help Spread The Word! Looking for a way to help spread the gospel of How Not To Sail? (First of all, THANK YOU!) You can find a number of easy ways to help spread the word—many of them 100% free—at HowNotToSail.com/help How Not To Sail Email Newsletter Join the How Not To Sail email list and get the almost-sorta-biweekly newsletter at HowNotToSail.com/email Get The Book Want to enjoy your boat, visit awesome destinations, and skip the stress? Then be sure NOT to use any of the "handy tips" mentioned here. Author, sailor, and host of the How Not To Sail Podcast Bradford Rogers shares with you some of his easily-won but hard to forget advice with equal measures of wide-eyed befuddlement and extra-dry humor. (Shaken AND stirred.) Buy How Not To Sail at HowNotToSail.com/book Music What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor? (Traditional) - performed by Bradford Rogers and Peter Suarez ⚓️

Duration:00:15:46

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Ep. 56: A Sh*tty Situation

3/22/2024
Wherein I finally get back to the boat...and discover some "wrinkles." Get The Book Want to enjoy your boat, visit awesome destinations, and skip the stress? Then be sure NOT to use any of the "handy tips" mentioned here. Author, sailor, and host of the How Not To Sail Podcast Bradford Rogers shares with you some of his easily-won but hard to forget advice with equal measures of wide-eyed befuddlement and extra-dry humor. (Shaken AND stirred.) Buy How Not To Sail at HowNotToSail.com/book How Not To Sail Email Newsletter Join the How Not To Sail email list and get the almost-sorta-biweekly newsletter at HowNotToSail.com/email Patreon Yes, you can join the Patreon crew and help keep How Not To Sail afloat (plus get way cool perks) for as little as $3 a month. Help Spread The Word! I’d love it if you could please share How Not To Sail with your Twitter followers. Click here to post a tweet! If you dug this episode, head over to Podchaser and kindly leave a review and follow the show! ...or as always, just tell a friend! Thanks!!! Music What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor? (Traditional) - performed by Bradford Rogers and Peter Suarez ⚓️

Duration:00:13:30

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Ep. 55: The Bulkhead (Is she alive, Doctor?)

3/1/2024
I found someone to make the insurance-mandated repairs in the slip. But did it work out? Get The Book Want to enjoy your boat, visit awesome destinations, and skip the stress? Then be sure NOT to use any of the "handy tips" mentioned here. Author, sailor, and host of the How Not To Sail Podcast Bradford Rogers shares with you some of his easily-won but hard to forget advice with equal measures of wide-eyed befuddlement and extra-dry humor. (Shaken AND stirred.) Buy How Not To Sail at HowNotToSail.com/book How Not To Sail Email Newsletter Join the How Not To Sail email list and get the almost-sorta-biweekly newsletter at HowNotToSail.com/email Patreon Yes, you can join the Patreon crew and help keep How Not To Sail afloat (plus get way cool perks) for as little as $3 a month. Help Spread The Word! I’d love it if you could please share How Not To Sail with your Twitter followers. Click here to post a tweet! If you dug this episode, head over to Podchaser and kindly leave a review and follow the show! ...or as always, just tell a friend! Thanks!!! Music What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor? (Traditional) - performed by Bradford Rogers and Peter Suarez ⚓️

Duration:00:14:37