The Beer Schnitz Picture Show

Yeah! #hotpodsummer!!! What a season for movies, eh?! This ep is all about summer blockbusters and specifically 4 summer blockbusters that just frickin' ruuuuule! Now, these may not necessarily be the most important or best movies of the Summer (or are they?) but 4 that the boys just really wanted to talk about. One movie in particular that Travis just will not shut up about (#Tcforpatronsaintofcinemahesalreadyperformed7miracleswhichis4morethanyouneedtobecanonizedsoletsjustdoitalready), Mission: Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1! Also, the phenomenon known as Barbenheimer and the crazy grassroots media campaign behind these two seemingly disparate movies that may have a lot more in common than first thought? Maybe? And lastly, of course these idiots covered TMNT: Mutant Mayhem. Heavy spoiler warning for all 4 movies, and probably a whole bunch more. Fair warning, this podcast basically just spoils all movies, so, listener beware! Enjoy! On this episode, the boys are drinking whiskey colas, I think. They didn't really talk about it. Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

On this week’s episode, the boys talk about one of their all-time favorite directors, Guy Ritchie, and his feature debut! Man this guy (ha) rules but are comparisons to Tarantino accurate or fair? What is the worst movie ever made and why is it Swept Away? Is it like Scorsese said, “One for you and sometimes you get bullied into doing one for Madonna”? How many bits and bobs do you need to sell to become Jason Statham? How was Guy so great at discovering tough guys? Stick around because towards the end of the episode, Tom drops something heavy. In this episode, the boys are drinking Western Collective’s Dick Shooter. Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

Hey Schnitzies, this week's ep. freakin' rules! We're talkin' David Arquette's "The Tripper" and **Spoiler Alert** Travis didn't do any research because there was a big release not too long ago and it ate up all of his research time. Also, he's an idiot. So, this episode is "Oops, All Riffs", which is fun! Some of Travis' riffs include, in no particular order: -Travis really doesn't like hippies. Hate gets thrown around a lot. -Some strong feelings about theater protocols. -Travis hates stuff in depth (Maybe a new segment? I dont know. Nobody tells me nothin'): hippies(again), theater sneaks (hypocritically), and MGK switcheroos. Just to be clear, Tom came prepared and dropped a new impression towards the end of the episode. Beware, there are some light spoilers for Scream 5 and Spider-man: Across the Spiderverse in this episode. Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

***SPOILER ALERT*** On this week's episode, the boys are talkin' some Flash! Travis tries to synopsize a movie in two lines again and fails. When will he ever learn? There is some talk about the hierarchy of power that's about to change. And then silence. Followed by uncontrollable laughter. And then, what's this?! The boys try to explain quantum physics?! Uh-oh. Listen in for a great episode about a movie that was definitely in theaters. Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

This week on the show Tom and Travis invite Ian Taylor back to talk all things 80's action! Like, did you know that a $120 million box office was once considered a banger?! Also, is it better to close a decade or open one? The guys also take a hard look at video calls and realize that if you watch enough 80's movies, technology now seems very disappointing. And finally, if the boys have to pay royalty groan fees to Tim Allen, can they be sent electronically to Tallen@bing.com or should they be sent to the less well known ttoolmantaylor@kirkcameron.com? Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

This is a big episode and writing a synopsis for it is like "trying to promote the Mona Lisa." Soooo, I'm just gonna get out of the way of this episode with one recommendation: watch it (again). If you've watched this movie and weren't sure about it, watch it again. If it's been years since you've watched this movie, watch it again. If you love this movie and just watched it, watch it again. Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

On this weeks episode, the boys ask if there is a difference between a rocket cookie and a cock cookie? Are they both made from dil-dough?! Who is this Robert Prosky, and why does Travis keep trying to talk about him? What has he been in? Are stepdad’s mean or are they just adjusting? Is “uh-oh” the best and most underrated last thing you can say before you’re bludgeoned and shot to death? What about "I never saw Venice"? Is that a good thing to say? Why isn't Danny DeVito more respected? Is Hollywood heightist? There are so many questions being asked in this episode, who knows if they'll all get answered in time? Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

In honor of all things science, this week's synopsis is brought to you by Chat GPT, a synopsis in the form of an AI generated poem. I hope you enjoy it! In Twins, a duo quite odd, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a bod Built to perfection, science's aim, On the search for his twin, of the same claim. He tracks him down, in the city so bright, But Danny DeVito’s quite the sight, Small in stature, tough in approach, Their meeting was comical, beyond reproach. But together they travel, on a crazy ride, To find their birth mother, before they collide, With evil forces who wish to use their gift, For sinister plots, they must swiftly sift. With humor and action, the two take on, The baddies who seek to cause the world gone, Their bond tested in ways quite strange, But in the end they prove, twins can change. A twist in the tale, surprises all, A sibling emerges, at last in the hall, United as family, with love quite strong, They knew all along, they didn't quite belong. In Twins, we learn, it's not in the genes, But in the heart, where family gleams, Through the absurd, the love does bloom, In this tale of twins, beyond the womb. Welp, I may be out of a job... I never would have thought to rhyme womb with bloom. Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

Alright, it's time to stuff your delicate sensibilities in a sock, cause a Hobo and his bindle just hopped off the train and landed in Hope Town. Oh, who's this hobo, you ask? Ya know, only frickin' Rutger Hauer? Heard of him?! Who else is in this movie? Oh, I dont know, THE Plague! Heard of THE Plague?! What about the guy from Trailer Park Boys? His name is, er [scratches head rememberingly]... Robb Wells, right guys? Sure! He's there, too! Lets see, what else... Oh, remember when everything was akimbo? Super hero poses? Angry mothers? Guns? This movie unbelievably shoots akimbo. The boys also come up with some ideas for some camera names. What do y'all think? Redp? Orangep? Purplep? Also, should Amazon have carte blanche garage access? And if so, what is the legal amount of this movie that you can show an unwilling person before getting arrested? Asking for some friends... Is the love of a well cut lawn enough to keep you from doing crime? Yes and no. And lastly, if you like monologues, boy oh boy, they're in this very real, very grounded movie! Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

Welcome to Season 2 of the show! What a run season 1 was, right?! Can y'all believe these two made it through 35 episodes?! Welp, they did and are now buried under a mountain of awards. Suck it, Rogan! Ok, now that the boys have made it through a full season, how do they decide to spend that capital?! By talkin Tommy Wiseau's The Room, baby! The BEST worst movie ever made! Now, this is a big movie with a lot of questions. Questions like: If you're an alien who has never had sex before, and you try to put it in a belly button that is an "outie", wouldn't it just look like a little sword fight? Or, are there such things as wolf lessons? Or, is NyQuil an effective acting tool? Or, is Twunderwear a dumb name? Or secretly genius? (I guess it's like a portmanteau of Tommy W's initials and underwear? Right?) and also, How the hell is this a movie and how the hell does this get made?! If you want answers to these questions, fine! I wouldn't hold my breath, though. They're doing the best they can. Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

Get effed, other awards show! This is the only show you’ll need! The boys give their nominations and awards to the best of the best of the 2022 films that they saw. It’s an objective list with spicy, subjective results! Hey, also, y’all look great in your dope tuxes and dresses! Thanks for dressing up for the show! Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

In "Bad Boys II", we find our guys, Mike and Marcus, with guns and lies. Miami's streets, where we lay our scene, 2 cops bustin' dealers where cokeheads feen. While Marcus has his woosah way, Mike shoots some bad guys and says, "don't play". When Hotwater Boys make things go boom, Joe Pantaliano will have a fume. With rats that "do it just like we do". Did we see the prequel to TMNT, too? Will Smith, Gabby Union, and Marty Law, Young Michael Shannon testing trunks for the mob Peter Storemare's dead friend in a bucket Wait, did that one rat tell the other to... get out of here? Michael Bay, the man with a plan To blow up all of the things that he can. Explosions here, explosions there, His movies have them everywhere. Drugs and Bayhem make Kanye say "Cray". Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay Rules! Welp, that coulda been worse. Join the boys on their penultimate episode of Season One (Can you believe it?!) as they discuss Michael Bay's Bad Boys II. Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

On the last episode of Tromuary, the bo--- alright, seriously, what the f*ck is this, you two idiots? I work so hard writing the synopses for this f*cking stupid-ass podcast and this is what you give me?! You guys spent 20 minutes talking about Travis' butthole?! And Tom talking about the dryness level in his pants?! The always wonderful Josh Snodgrass talking about his ------- --------?! The f*ck is this sh*t?! How am I supposed to sum this up? What a stupid way to end a mini series. Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

On our 3rd and penultimate TROMUARY episode, T & T & J (huh, another J guest. This whole month has been full of 'em) ask what happens after Uncle Lloydie passes? Will it stay true to his and Michael Herz's intentions? Or will it die and transition into something new and horrible through a sequence of negative film images? What is Troma's legacy? Is it just poo, pee, and vomit recipes or has Troma taught us something deeper about ourselves? Who is Kabukiman? I am Kabukiman. We are Kabukiman! Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

Troma frickin' rules, you guys, and Tom and Travis frickin' rule for celebrating Tromuary! What a month! What an idea! Has The Beer Schnitz Picture Show just won The People's Choice Award for best podcast in human history?! No?! Well, alright, then... On this week's episode T & T & J talk about the 7 story archetypes and wonder why being irradiated into a monster isn't one of them. Did Mad Max learn his mad ways while making a pit stop in Tromaville? Or, were these high schoolers too mediocre? How important is linear storytelling? Is it a good idea to be drug-free in Tromaville? Is New Jersey the monster or is the monster the monster? If Stephen King comes after you, does he run or does he take Christine? Why can't anyone summarize a Troma flick simply? [shrug] Who cares?! This place frickin' rules! Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

No one asked for this but here it comes: TROMUARY! An entire month dedicated to the studio that’s been disrupting media for 49 years! Tom and Travis spend the next couple of weeks with a new mini series and they're talkin' Troma, baby! Is Rotten.com and Faces of Death a good, real-life analog for any Troma picture? Is Lloyd Kaufman a real person, living in this dimension? Or is he Uncle Lloydie from the Tromaverse, here to gross us out? Is Tromaville really just New Jersey light? Will these questions get answered or just lead to more questions? Come celebrate TROMUARY and find out! Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

Tom and Travis invite some of their favorite guests of 2022 to discuss a big year for movies. John Myers, Josh Snodgrass, Julien McGregor Kristy Lussier, and Lee Vander Boegh all came prepared with their own personal top 10 list of 2022. What they didn't come to do was fuck around. Additional Music: 'Suburban Honeymoon' - Christian Larsen Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/christian-larssen/window-shopping License code: WZEN3KI4UXG4G44T Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

Your boys, Tom and Travis are back for no good reason, except they rule at this! It's been two months since their last episode and these two dummies jump right in and splash around with J.C.'s The Wet One. Is this movie, from the one true J.C., going to crack the Top 5 highest-grossing movies of all time, keeping company with two other James joints?! (now currently, at $2.026 Billion and counting) Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm too excited for words! Come here for the Cameron talk, stay for the Official definition of Ovidio Assonitis. Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

This week Tom, Travis, and special guest Ian Taylor talk about the loss of the mid-budget film, 80's sex comedies and how unproblematic some of them can be (lookin' at you, Night Shift). Additionally, Tom and Travis do not disappoint and in record time get right into butt and fart talk. (Also, my wife and daughter were fighting about TikTok "dabloons" and I lost track of where I was with my real butthole joke.) Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell

This week, the boys are comin' atcha with another late night record where they persist in getting Martin Scorsese's attention. They discuss what makes Brendan Fraser the pinnacle of teenage coolness. Is selling out a real thing, or is that just getting a job? Is "Guys trying to do a thing" a legitimate genre? Is David Arquette just a dumb dog in an "Egger" suit? How complicated is it to bring a word back and why can't that word be "pud"? Are jar farts a viable way to make a living? Why is everyone so interested in selling out and why does Travis really hate money? Some of these questions will be answered! And remember #don'tbeanassholeyafuckinfucks Contact us at rav.schnitz@gmail.com Theme song by Russ Worstell