The Courage to Be

⁣⁣⁣As International Women’s Month comes to an end ⁣I’m back on The Courage to Be podcast with previous guest Monique Carayol to explore “The Courage to Be a Real Woman in Business”. ⁣ Each time I talk with Monique I am reminded of what it means and how it feels to get under the surface quickly and gracefully. We jump into some big topics and I'd love to hear your personal reflections/experiences on what we share. We explore what gets in the way of talented woman showing up as themselves, what it means to bring our magic to the world and what can hold us back. We talk diversity, both in the workplace and at home and what it means to ask for the support we need to pursue our purpose. If you haven't yet listened to Januarys episode with Monique, here is the link https://sineadmillard.com/podcasts/brave-leadership-with-monique-carayol/ Monique talks about leadership from a place of deep experience gained from starting as a PA in the NHS and navigating her way to a board level executive director. As always, thank you for listening.

Happy New Year everyone, I'm excited to kick off the year in conversation with Monique Carayol. Monique talks about leadership from a place of deep experience gained from starting as a PA in the NHS and navigating her way to a board level executive director. Monique won the PRECIOUS Outstanding Woman in the Public Sector award in 2017. I share this because of course it’s a huge achievement, but more so because I had one hour with Monique and in that short time I could feel what it meant to be in Monique’s company. I was reminded of my previous guest Owen Eastwood “to belong is to be seen, and to be accepted and respected for who you are” and I felt all of this in Monique’s company. ⠀ Check out Monique's podcast Be Yourself, Back Yourself and Make it Happen. Thanks for listening. Sinéad x

⁣⁣Today, I am joined by Sinéad and Gillian from Intuitive Eating Ireland. Sinéad, a mental health nurse and nutritional therapist, and Gillian, a mental health social worker and yoga teacher, have created an online community aimed at deconstructing diet culture and harmful attitudes towards weight loss and nutrition. Our conversation goes beyond intuitive eating, exploring how to listen into our body’s individual cues and to unlearn all the rules and judgements from all the external sources in your life. If you are not already following Sinéad and Gillian take a look at their instagram page here. If you enjoy the podcast, your support in any form would be great, rating or leaving a comment on Apple, clicking on follow on spotify or share it on your social platforms. I'd really appreciate it. Sending love, Sinéad

⁣⁣“Whakapapa., You belong here”. This conversation is an absolute gem. I don’t really have a licence to say that, do I?! But this weeks guest really had an impact and inspired much reflection (days after!), I am so pleased to finally get to share it with you all.⠀ I’m joined by Owen Eastwood, one of the most in-demand performance coaches in the world and author of the book Belonging. Over the past decade, Owen has worked with some of the most elite teams and groups in the world, including Gareth Southgate's England Football team, the Command Group of NATO, the South African Cricket Team, corporate leadership teams, elite ballet and the British Olympic team.⠀ The stories Owen shares are both personal and from his work. Each brings insight and energy. ⠀⠀ I'd love you hear any reflections you might have.⠀

⁣I promised a bonus episode this week, so here it is! This was a special one as I got to sit around my kitchen table, coffee in hand with my wonderful guest by my side, such a treat! So much so I may have forgotten we were recording at times!⠀ Today’s guest is Sonica Mushi from Crossroads Counselling. We delve deep into many of "The Courage to Be" themes from approval seeking to external validation, understanding what’s healthy and what’s too much, We talk about bringing more of ourselves to each interaction, "going below the surface" and the difference it makes. How to recognise unhelpful patterns and replace them with healthier ways to cope, self sacrifice and knowing that we can choose where to give without compromising our own needs.⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Let's just say Sonica's background is pretty extensive so we got to cover off quite a lot in this conversation! ⠀ ⠀ Link in bio or over on your favourite podcast app. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ I'm back in June with Season Four, but for now, thank you all for listening. Sinéad x

This week, I am joined by the wonderful Marian Boswall, for those of you who know Marian or enjoy her awe-inspiring grid, you’ll know what I mean when I say this was a very special episode. And if you haven’t yet come across Marian, you’re in for a treat. Marian is a leading landscape architect and founder of MBLA studios, best known for creating stunning gardens in sensitive or historic settings. As always here on The Courage to Be podcast, we go beyond everyday business! We explore the topic of voice and what it means to use your voice in a way that is truly meaningful, Marian shares her love for writing, her beliefs, both new and old and we talk love, nature and childhood memories. ⠀ ⁣I can only describe this conversation as nourishing and wonderfully up-lifting. Check out Marian's instagram page for daily inspiration and beauty. Thank you so much for listening.

This week I was inspired to talk about values. I've pulled an extract from my conversation with Dr Steven C Hayes (Episode 34), bestselling author of A Liberated Mind. I love how Steven explores the topic of values; bringing more intentionality and presence into our life, seeing the sweetness in our pain, the yearning behind our hurt. Our values inform how we spend our time and energy, but its not always as straightforward as it seems. Connecting to our innate values can be challening. Society can often send some mixed messages around what "matters", be that receiving more popularity, attaining more financial status or adhering to certain beauty standards. But as we grow and evolve we have the opportunity to really uncover what truly matters and when we start to live out our life in a way that aligns to our vlaues we feel that deeply, it builds an inner peace. Often times, we walk through this world not really knowing what our values are, but tuning into what makes us tick is available to each and everyone of us. In the second half of this epsiode, Steven offers up some great ways to begin to open up to what matters, what we value, what we truly care for. There are many definitions of values, one I find helpful is that of Dr. Gregg Henriques of James Madison University: “Values are what we deem important and worthy in life. They inform how we spend our time and energy. We often inherit them from our families of origin, and then add, swap, and/or modify our values based on education and experience as we age. Often times, we walk through this world not really knowing what our values are, which can be problematic. If we don’t have a clear understanding of what makes us tick, then we’ll have a hard time trying to change pieces of ourselves (or authentically responding to others in a healthy manner). Awareness first, choice second.” If you think this episode could help someone else, please do share. As always, thanks for listening. Sinéad x

A rare condition struck Vanessa Potter with blindness and paralysis almost over-night. In 2012 Vanessa's life was ticking along just fine. It wasn’t perfect, but she had a successful career and a loving family. Vanessa had just taken time out to set up a new business and hang out with her children. Unfortunately fate had other plans and Vanessa was hit with a mystery illness leaving her blind, paralysed and reeling. The year it took for Vanessa's sight to return changed her life and recovery was anything but usual. Vanessa’s response to her illness was to document the entire journey via an mp3 player. Her curiosity and quest for answers led her to Cambridge University, persuading neuroscientists to help her research her incredible visual rebirth. After collaborating on an EEG project that invited members of the public to see and hear their own mindful brainwaves translated into music and art, Vanessa was invited to give a TEDx talk in Ghent. Vanessa published her first book, Patient H69: The Story of my Second Sight, in 2017. Vanessa's curiosity didn't end there, she publishes her latest book Finding My Right Mind: One Woman's Experiment to Put. Also, you can listen to Vanessa's podcast where she will "look at what happens when meditation is challenging and how it can sometimes nudge up again trauma. I’ll ask why my inner critic needs a name (and an outfit) and how perfectionism is the worse aspiration I can have." As always thank you for listening.

This week I explore the topic of noticing with the wonderful Lucy Allen friend and business partner. We talk about what it means to notice and the many forms that noticing takes; noticing our thoughts, writing our thoughts down, noticing and leaning into our feelings, the pleasant and the unpleasant. We link it back to self-understanding. Acknowledge the difference between conscious and unconscious living. I'd love to hear your views on this. Sending love, Sinéad

⁣This week I speak to the amazing Jenny Keane..."when we open conversations about sex and sexuality, we normalise something that IS SO NORMAL."⠀ We explore the true power of wellness, to move between stress and ease. We look at changing the script around sex and sexuality - questioning the beliefs we hold and the narratives we've inherited. ⠀ We unpack pleasure and what it really means, the practice and the discipline of bringing more pleasure into our life. ⠀ We explore sex education, what we have learnt and what we need to re-learn. Jenny’s teaching makes sex education simple, fun and unashamedly normal. "Science is complicated, exploring sex shouldn’t be and your pleasure is personal.”⠀ ⁣I urge you to get curious! Oh and please share this episode, let's play a role in Jenny's mission which is to ⁣ignite a sexual revolution in Ireland.⠀ You'll find Jenny on Instagram or you can check out her website for more info on her offerings. As always thank you so much for listening.

Today, I explore the value of questioning what we have been taught in all areas of our life. To ask ourselves “who told me that?”. In whatever area of life we are looking at, be that our views on love, health, sex, success, career…we must ask ourselves ”what do I want to unlearn and what do I want to re-learn in this area”? This theme is particularly fitting this week, as yesterday I spoke to the wonderful Jenny Keane on the topic of sex and sexuality, an opportunity to explore some of the beliefs mandated to us by society around sex and how that has instilled some shame and embarrassment around the topic. More to come on that in next weeks episode! “Half of wisdom is learning what to unlearn.” Larry Niven Here is the conversation with Alain Bottoin on the topic of love that I promised to share. As always, thank you for listening.

NEW EPISODE: This week over on The Courage to Be podcast, I talk about how to stay with unpleasant feelings, the tougher feelings that we all encounter in any one day, why we are conditioned to avoid pain and what's the benefit of bringing it closer. Hey, I even wrote a poem at the very end - perhaps lockdown is takings its toll!⠀ ⁣I am moving to weekly episodes, no more seasons, you will find a new episode every Friday morning wherever you listen to your podcast. I would love your support on this so please do subscribe, you can hold me accountable! I've got some great guests lined up for the coming weeks. ⠀ Sending love. ⠀ ⠀

This week I talk about rejection and why it hurts. I look at why we are so susceptible to feelings of rejection, why it hurts so badly and how we can release its grip of rejection. Here is a link to a study which I have referenced "Emotional responses to interpersonal rejection" Here is a study that illuminates the 'pain' of social rejection. As always thank you for listening.

This week I speak to Stephen Rowbotham, a British rower. Born in the West Country, tennis and rugby were always his sports as a boy. Stephen lived in Belgium and Spain as a teenager and then went to Durham University to do Economics which is where he started to row. After three years, Stephen was in the Great Britain u23 squad and in 2004 he was selected for Athens Olympics. Six weeks before the Games he was dropped and singled out for poor performance of the boat. Four years later he was standing on the medal podium in Beijing with an Olympic Bronze medal around my neck. In today's conversation, Stephen opens up about what it was like to be dropped from the boat so close to the games and what motivated him to get back up and make it to the Beijing Olympics. As always, please do share your feedback and thank you for listening.

⁣I thought long and hard about what to focus on in this week's solo episode and I landed on sharing with you some podcasts, insights and general themes that have resonated with me lately and, that have been very useful. I talk to what it has been like to practise sitting with more uncomfortable feelings, to acknowledge and feel not just the pleasurable moments but the painful moments too. To stay with feelings of hurt, anxiety, frustration and more, instead of becoming distracted or “busy”. I reflect on some of the wonderful insights that Dr. Edith Eger shared in her conversation with Russell Brand and why I listened to this particular conversation three times! I also refer to the work of Tara Brach who has been a voice of calm and inspiration for me in recent months. I touch on radical transparency, what it means for the podcast and in more generally, in life. Oh and, I explore prayer too. I know everyone's situation is very different right now so listening to a podcast might be a complete stretch for some and perhaps not for others. I have been popping my headphones on at any opportunity and when time is extra tight (and homeschooling has completely taken over my life) I listen in bed. I hope you can enjoy this or take away a nugget or two of inspiration. Please share any thoughts, I love hearing from you. Here are the links that I refer to in my podcast today: https://luminary.link/zZQAgirhedbhttps://www.tarabrach.com/cultivating-courageous-heart/

In today's episode, I am interviewed by Elizabeth Cairns. I talk about how The Courage to Be has evolved, what is means in very simple terms and my aspirations for Season Three. Hope you enjoy it and thank you so much for listening.

After facing a life-threatening disease, 37-year-old Kiko Matthews set herself the challenge of becoming the fastest woman to solo row across the Atlantic, unassisted with no previous experience of rowing. As you’ll hear in today’s episode, half way through her training, her brain tumour came back. But to the surprise of many, that didn’t stop Kiko from believing she could accomplish her goal. "Sitting in the middle of the Atlantic ocean, with the closest humans to me located in space, it was easy to wonder...how the hell did I get here? The feat not only helped Kiko achieve a world record but also gave her the opportunity to give back to the very people that helped her survive. Join me as I finds out exactly what it takes to break the Atlantic rowing record after brain surgery. Click here to find out more about Kiko.

In todays conversation, I speak to Patricia Lindo, founder and CEO of Style Incorporated. Style Incorporated is a niche executive headhunting agency focused on the Luxury Fashion & Design Industry. Patricia (also known as Pat), takes us back to her earlier years, growing up in Sheffield and of Jamaican heritage, Pat's Mother had a huge influence on her life. "Pat hold your head up, walk straight and be proud of who you are" were her mothers words. As a result, from an early age, Pat became very sure of herself and independent. At the age of 15, Pat decided to study fashion and after four years in University she moved to London to pursue her interest in the Fashion Industry. Pat was introduced to a world she had never experienced before, in her words "it was like a comedy show". She shares, with depth and meaning, many stories and experiences she had along the way. In particular the experience she gained with each role she pursued and what it was like to work in such a high pressured and competitive [fashion] industry. But deep down, Pat was craving more. An entrepreneur at heart, Pat decided to set-up her own business in 1997, which today is known as Style Incorporated. Pat describes her relationship with faith; how it enables her to pause, reset and slow down. She talks about her experience with her healer and how this played an important role in Pat moving away from the materialistic world and instead choosing a simpler way of living. We talk about the nature of the fashion industry, the pace, the competition and the pressure. As Pat contemplates the next chapter for Style Incorporated she shares her passion for creatives and in particular, providing a pillar of support for these young creatives and the challenges they may face. To connect with Patricia or the team at Style Incorporated click here Style Incorporated Connect. As always, thank you so much for listening.

In today's episode, I draw on a wonderful quote by Carl Rogers where he defines authenticity as being the author of one's life. This quote resonates strongly as it talks to the empowering nature of authenticity. To feel empowered, to take ownership, to take charge, to be intentional, across every area of your life. What better feeling could we ask for, to feel like we are creating rather than reacting? Unfortunately, we don’t always take advantage of the freedom we have to create our own life. Of course, the extent to which we have autonomy varies, for example, if you work for an organisation you must work within the scope of the company culture. Yet even so, you can look for ways to create more autonomy at work. I've seen clients do it and reap the benefits. Have a look at your life, both personal and professional, ask yourself "am I reacting or am I creating? "Can I look for more ways to create autonomy?" As always, thank you all for listening.