Your Corner Man

If you coach long enough and at a high enough level eventually you will get outcoached. Sometimes, other coaches have better ideas than you did or prepared their team (business or fighter) better than you did for that particular event. It happens, its stinks, and it hurts! When it happens you have to respond and you need to take responsibility for your failure...but how you respond will have a huge impact on you, your ability to lead, and how your team (organization) moves forward. In this episode, I discuss this reality all coaches will face at some point and offer some simple ideas and suggestions for dealing with this most uncomfortable and humbling of situations. WARNING: Failing to recognize this reality will limit your potential as a coach/leader.

We ALL have a conversation running in our head 24 hours a day 7 days a week. We are constantly talking to ourselves about our goals, our challenges, and our expectations yet most of us are not truly aware of what we are saying to ourselves or the power of this inner dialogue. When we take the time to finally listen to how we speak to ourselves we are often shocked to learn that this internal dialogue is far different than what we might expect. Often times we are constantly running ourselves down, speaking negatively, and forecasting the things we fear most and DONT want to achieve rather than those things we do. Often times our inner dialogue is one of the major roadblocks to achieving our biggest goals and aspirations. In this episode, I discuss the importance of this inner conversation and I offer some simple steps to help you change the tapes in your head and, in doing so, help you get out of your own way in achieving the outcomes you desire.

Taking care of yourself, staying in decent shape, eating well, and showing yourself and your body respect has an impact on both your ability to sustain the energy needed for the long hour's leadership requires and the way your athletes and staff view you. It's a fact and taking the time to take care of yourself sends the right message to your troops. Secondly, you can't expect to be lead others if you can't lead yourself. You cant ask others to do what you will not. Your athletes/employees watch everything you say and do and if you are not taking care of yourself they will see it. Take care of yourself and you will garner more respect... it's true! Send the right message. Put yourself in the best position to lead and sustain. Take care of yourself first and you'll have a distinct advantage over those who don't.

We all have doubts at one time or another. Doubts, like water, can find their way into even the smallest cracks. Suddenly the voice in your head begins to question yourself and the once small crack in your confidence threatens to blow wide open. In my gym we call this voice of doubt "the first voice" and we spend a great deal of time talking about how to ignore the first voice in your head and change that internal dialogue with "the second voice." In this week's episode, we discuss how important it is to be aware of the inner dialogue and how to deal with the doubt that will inevitably show up in competition.

If you want to be a better coach/leader then it is vital you understand your own strengths and weaknesses and that you challenge your strongest and most deeply held beliefs sometimes. Having the confidence to look at and evaluate yourself as a coach can be hard. For many of us, we coach the way we were coached and we loved and revere the men and women who were our teachers. We try and emulate them and often our ideas and concepts go unchallenged. Recognizing our own shortcomings and admitting our mentors may not have had it right all the time can be difficult and rattle us to the core. Having the courage to turn your power eye inward is an essential element to becoming the best coach and leader you can be. In this episode, I discuss this process, my own feelings on the matter, and share some of my own weaknesses ...and encourage you to do the same!

What happens when they have done everything you asked, paid the price, and yet still come up short. If you coach long enough or at a high level this will happen many times in your career. Knowing how to handle your athletes (and employees) after a loss like this is an important part of the job. These moments, although painful offer some of the most powerful teaching moments and shouldn't be squandered. In today's short show I talk about a short four-step formula for helping your athletes or team to overcome a big loss and get back on the road to success.

s or employees they lead. Far too many athletes (employees) are waiting to be motivated in their jobs yet stand by in amazement with they are beaten or replaced by someone with the motivation they seek and lack. There is game time motivation and that's great, but the motivation that creates the GRIT, and perseverance required for elite-level success must come from the player or employees themselves. Pre-game speeches matter, daily motivational moments matter but they are only part of the motivation the athletes need to struggle thru the work and sacrifice needed to achieve big things. "A coach can only fan the flame that burns in you...if you're waiting for your coach to motivate you then you've already lost"

Everyone feels and experiences fear, the trick is turning fear into fire. Learning to help your athletes manage the fear they will inevitably experience at some point prior to competition is one of the most challenging and important aspects of coaching. In this episode, I discuss the subject and offer some easy ways you can use to help your athletes overcome this inevitable situation.

Join me and best selling author Jim Afremow as we talk about his book The Champions Mind. Learn to think, train and thrive. There is a mindset that produces success. In my podcast today I discuss this mindset and how you can adopt this same mindset in your own lives and with your own team or organization.

Fate seldom calls at a time of our choosing! We all wish success occurred on a schedule or on a predictable timeline but it most often does not. Often time our greatest opportunities come when we least expect them and our ultimate success will boil down to our ability to seize upon these rare moments when they occur. Many great and talented athletes have never made it to the top or fulfilled their potential in their chosen sport or endeavor simply because they could only perform to a schedule. This is not to say schedules are not important but life and opportunity DO NOT care about your schedule. As a result, you must be mentally tough enough to stay ready and wait. Waiting, unfortunately, is part of the process many times. It can be frustrating and maddening at times but waiting for your opportunity is often required. The MOST important thing you must do is be ready when the moment arrives. It is also true that the more you work and the more you give to any worthwhile endeavor the greater the chances opportunity will find you. There is an old saying: "the harder I work luckier I get." This is true and opportunity finds those who make themselves available for it. Always be ready and opportunity will find you!

There’s no denying losing a relationship stings. When it’s one that you put your heart and effort into professionally and personally, it hurts even more. Sometimes the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, but as a coach or a leader, you must be willing to let people make the decisions they feel are best for them, even if it is to leave you. On this week’s episode, I discuss what it means to have loyalty tested and ultimately severed. I truly believe that as a leader, the only way to approach your work is to give your absolute best with love in your heart. But there have been times where, ultimately, someone has decided to move on from me, and that’s okay. You’ll hear my thoughts on how to deal with the sting of feeling betrayed, why there’s no point in holding grudges, what the one thing I see when I’m evaluating an athlete, and how you can prepare yourself to accept the blow of having loyalty tested. It’s not a fun or glamorous part of being a coach or leader, but it is an inevitable one. In the long run, everyone goes through this kind of conversation from one side or the other. This week’s show will get you ready for when that conversation happens for you and why the gut punch feeling may never go away but can make you a better leader.

Since I was a kid, there have been many changes in the culture around sports. Something that I have noticed is that kids aren’t as generally as tough as they used to be. In this week’s episode, I discuss my thoughts on the feminization of male sports. What I mean by that is I believe that some kids need to be pushed harder or coached more aggressively and that has sometimes caused issue with the parents, specifically mothers, of my athletes. This topic may be seen as controversial, but it is one I felt needed to be addressed. Coaching a woman is different from coaching a man and you can treat them equally, but you need to coach them differently. You’ll hear my experiences and my philosophies with dealing with mothers of athletes who may be overly protective and who have created an environment that may not be best for their son or daughter, how I am willing to sit down with any parent of my athletes and discuss with them how I best see their training, why I’m not interested in a parent’s evaluation of their son or daughter’s ability, and why coaching in an aggressive way can ultimately help teach excellence. I believe when it comes to sports, parents need to trust the coaches and too often, the dynamic between parent and coach is not conducive for the results we seek. Whether you agree with me or not, you’re going to want to listen.

Trying to get through to someone can be extremely frustrating. You may want to instill them with words of wisdom, but they just might not be landing. As a coach or a business leader, you’re not going to be able to reach every athlete or employee. So, how can you adapt your ways to help drive home your points and philosophies to those who should hear them? In this week’s episode, I discuss a technique that I’ve found extremely helpful to me in these situations. Bringing in a different coach with a different point of view to try and send the same message to an athlete can pay dividends for everyone. Finding someone who shares the philosophies that you do and utilizing their experiences to drive home points can be a powerful tool. This is a common practice in coaching, done by the likes of Alabama football coach Nick Saban, that could be crucial to you in your professional life. Tune in to hear why and how I’ve used this in my career and how it could help you break through to those you can’t seem to reach.

There are plenty of people who quit when the going gets tough and life knocks you down. Jerry Forrest isn’t one of them, as he actually got knocked down not once, not twice, but three times and kept getting up. This wasn’t surprising to those who know Jerry, as I am lucky enough to. On this week’s episode, I had the privilege of sitting down with a fighter who I’ve worked with and whose resiliency I’ve witnessed firsthand: Jerry “The Slugger” Forrest. I was in Jerry’s corner for his recent heavyweight bout with Zhilei Zhang and watched as he battled back from three separate knockdowns to earn a draw. We relive the fight and what was going through his mind during it, break down his career leading up to it and how he’s learned that mental preparation is just as important as physical training, how doing a lot of smack talk before a fight doesn’t mean anything if you don’t back it up, and the changes he made when he didn’t feel invested in. You’ll learn about Jerry’s start in boxing from neighborhood fights to the unique gym he started fighting in, turning pro rather than trying out for the Olympic team, and why he listens to Denzel Washington to get ready for a fight. Our discussion is sure to shed light on principles that anyone can use in their daily lives to help them prepare to tackle their goals. This is an absolute don’t-miss tale of mental fortitude, physical stamina, and why faith in yourself should be borne from sacrifice.

We’ve all heard the term “Cool, calm, and collected” before. The demeanor that you associate with that phrase is what the best coaches hope for themselves and their athletes. Being even-keeled and levelheaded as you’re talking to your athletes or, as a leader in business, your employees will lead to greater success on the field and in the boardroom. Overcoaching and over-leading can be easily corrected. But realizing you’re doing it can be difficult. In this week’s episode, we look at what it means to overcoach and how you can change that behavior. Sharing too much information or having too many people share information is a sure sign of overcoaching. Being frantic or looking overwhelmed during an important moment is also overcoaching. You want to be able to deliver what your athletes or employees need to know and do so in a manner that reaches them and allows them to process it and put it to use. You’ll learn more about why the corner during a boxing match can be an effective place to pick up coaching traits, why self-awareness can be hard to come by but is vital to your improvement as a leader, and why it’s okay to be critical of yourself. This episode has important tips for anyone who has had trouble getting through to those they work with and offers ways to improve your communication skills. They can go a long way wherever you apply them, and you’ll remember to keep your info close to the vest.

Resiliency is not something that’s easy to find. Michael Bentt’s career has shown a lot of it and it’s not lost on him how the ups and downs of his life have helped him find his true calling. On this week’s episode, I had the pleasure of sitting down with a man of many talents and former heavyweight champion of the world as he talks about just how hard it is to get up when life knocks you down. His incredible story of overcoming adversity and finding your passions is a part of our open and honest discussion. Michael and I discuss how his relationship with his father and the death of a friend made him pursue a career in boxing, what went into his celebrated amateur career, how his first professional fight shaped one part of his life, and what it’s like to be labeled a “bum.” You’ll find out more about what it’s like to rebound after an extremely tough loss, why you shouldn’t look past an opponent, especially when it’s for a title fight, how his first career ended with him in a coma, and how a book sparked his second career as an actor. This is an engaging discussion that shines a light on a man who came back from the brink of death to achieve even more great success. Sit down with us and you’ll hear how a boy from the United Kingdom who felt he needed to change his accent to fit in ended up working with director Michael Mann five different times. This is one you don’t want to miss.

Many of us have watched the Olympics and marveled at the amazing skills shown by the world-class athletes. But Ruben Gonzalez watched the 1984 Winter Olympics and thought, “That could be me.” Through pure will and mental toughness, not only did Ruben make his way to the Olympics, but he made it there four separate times. This week’s episode is a truly special one as I sit down with the first ever Olympian to compete in the Winter Olympics in four different decades, luger Ruben Gonzalez. His story is awe-inspiring because his attitude, belief in himself and dedication to hard work helped him achieve his ultimate dreams. Over the course of our conversation, we discuss how a trip to the library and a letter he wrote to Sports Illustrated propelled him into luge, what traits he possessed that made it possible for him to be an Olympian (hint: many weren’t physical), what it was like walking into the opening ceremonies for the first time, and how he trained in Lake Placid, NY but ultimately competed for Argentina. Ruben’s impressive life story has allowed him to become an author and keynote speaker of renown, spreading his message of perseverance and hard work to many. Our talk will resonate with many and may help you feel motivated for more in your personal and professional life. Enjoy this conversation about luge and life and you may even find yourself heading to the library afterwards.

Taking advice from those closest to him was something that Shawn Porter had to learn at an early age. His dad had him in the gym at the age of 4 working out and training to become a boxer. But he credits his dad for also knowing when he needed to be pushed and when somebody else would be more effective to train him. For this week’s conversation, I got to sit down with the two-time welterweight champion boxer and have a unique conversation. We didn’t delve into his boxing career and accomplishments too much. What we spoke about had more to do with what it’s like being coached as a boxer and what traits he’s taken from those that have coached him. There’s plenty to enjoy in this week’s show for anybody who has had trouble getting through to someone and has needed to take a step back and regroup while adjusting their teaching or mentoring style. Shawn talks about what it’s like to have a father as a trainer, why the dynamic of father/trainer works well in the sport of boxing, why learning what makes your athletes tick is an effective coaching tactic, and how he works analyzing boxers as a commentator. He also dives into why Bruce Arians of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers is an effective and winning coach, what the on/off switch means for a boxer, and what he saw in the Lomachenko / Lopez fight from last October. Come for the great discussion on having different coaches in a career and stay for why Shawn pays attention to his opponent’s prefight interviews. This is an interview you won’t want to miss.

Mental and physical toughness are characteristics Eric Kapitulik has strived to achieve his entire life. But it’s not his toughness that he wants to talk about; it’s yours. This week’s episode brings a discussion with the former United States Marine and founder and CEO of The Program LLC for a fascinating look at what it means to be a better teammate and team leader. Eric created The Program, a team building and leadership development company, in 2008, and its mission is “to develop better leaders and create more cohesive teams.” But how he got to that point is just as interesting as what he does each day. We discuss how his life as a three-sport athlete led to him attending the United States Naval Academy and ultimately becoming a Marine, how a coach he never even played for was one of his biggest influences for life philosophies, why being happy with yourself helps you help others, and the values he tries to and hopes to instill in his children. He also breaks down what The Program provides to those who enroll, the way his team makes a plan for a client, and how not everybody will have the same type of training. You’ll learn about mountaineering, climbing summits, participating in triathlons, but why it isn’t sports that teach great life lessons. Tune in this week for tutoring in toughness with a man who teaches it.

Like many people, Charlie Brenneman found himself unfulfilled with his everyday job. While most would look to move to a different company to get a better job, he did something completely different. That’s because Charlie Brenneman isn’t like the rest of us. We begin the fourth season of Your Corner Man with “The Spaniard”, as I sit down with the man who left his Spanish teaching job for the Octagon. The former MMA fighter tells me how he decided to step out of the classroom to dive headfirst into a sport he knew nothing about and “get his butt kicked” by the likes of UFC stars Frankie Edgar and Eddie Alvarez. Brenneman is a fascinating study in getting the most out of your life and taking advantage of a work ethic that won’t quit. We dive in to how his wrestling background gave him perspective on how to deal with a loss, how it ultimately helped him make the leap to combat sports, the commitment it took to train the way he needed to, and what he sees for his future. He discusses how his unique background in teaching and in sports helps him as a speaker for students, his aspirations for his own life and how he wants to live it, what led up to him writing two books so far, and what he wants for his own kids. Charlie is a well-grounded man whose life can provide motivation for those in the boardroom, the classroom, or the ring. This talk certainly is full of plenty of lessons of perseverance and will power. It’s hard not to be inspired by his goals in life and what he’s already accomplished. LESSONS FOR LEADERS · Being able to overcome self-doubt is hard and can take a lot out of you but doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. · How you respond to something negative that happens to you will tell a lot to those around you. · Remember someone who helped you at your lowest and try to be there for people who may be experiencing similar instances in their lives. · Being happy for those succeeding around you speaks volumes about your development. · You can develop the trait of feeling joy for others. Being a sore loser can be worked passed. · Life changes can be scary and making big decisions in the workplace can have consequences. But if you believe in your gut that it’s the right move, you can follow that path more confidently. · People that you recognize as the best at what they do are extremely valuable to learn from. · It’s very noticeable to others when you’re accountable and you work hard. It can only help you going forward. · Wanting something and being willing to pay the price are two completely different things. · Take what you’ve learned from teachers and coaches and put those lessons back into the world. · Surround yourself with the right people to help you succeed. You will, in turn, help them succeed as well.