The Boundless Show

The advice we need most, plus Steve and Candice Watters tell the Boundless origin story, and how to effectively ask a girl out. Featured musical artist: Ellie Holcomb Roundtable: Where Do You Need Advice? As we celebrate 25 years since the launch of Boundless.org, our guests tell how they first heard about Boundless. They’ll also share the ways they’ve benefited personally from Boundless content, areas in which they need advice, and how to prioritize growth as a young adult. Finally, they list some of their favorite show moments through the years. The Dating Manifesto: A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage With Purpose Leave Us a Voicemail Culture: Steve & Candice Watters Tell the Boundless Story Have you ever wondered how Boundless got started? Or where the name Boundless came from? Boundless founders Steve and Candice Watters join us for a special conversation to answer these questions and more. They’ll also share their thoughts on how the world has changed for young adults since Boundless launched in 1998. The Dating Manifesto: A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage With Purpose Inbox: Ways to Ask a Girl Out When pursuing a girl, what are ways to be upfront about asking her out — without being creepy? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in.

Stories of porn addiction recovery, plus finding belonging as a Christian, and how to know if your boyfriend is spiritually mature. Featured musical artist: Liz Vice Roundtable: Overcoming Porn Addiction (Part 2) Pornography addiction is increasingly common today, even among Christians. It’s a struggle many don’t want to admit, and freedom often feels out of reach. But our guests have broken the pornography cycle, and they join us this week to share more from the stories they began last week, including what worked (and what didn’t) and why through God’s grace, freedom from sexual sin is possible. Leave Us a Voicemail Link to Counseling Services Culture: Fitting Into the Family of God Katy McCown and her family moved six times in 10 years thanks to her husband’s NFL career. Uprooting yet again, her feelings of loneliness were acute. As an antidote, she had to aggressively pursue community at church and in smaller circles. She’ll share some of her best tips for making it work, with Scriptural applications for plugging in, welcoming others, and carrying friendships into a new season. She Belongs: Finding Your Place in the Body of Christ Inbox: Is My Boyfriend Spiritually Mature? Her boyfriend is 20 years old and she’s wondering if his maturity is “on par” for his age. She’s nervous about predicting the health of their relational future with little data. How much spiritual maturity should she expect from him right now? Counselor Jerry Jones weighs in.

Stories of porn addiction recovery, plus how God saved a marriage from pornography, and when to talk about past traumas in a dating relationship. Featured musical artist: About a Mile Roundtable: Overcoming Porn Addiction (Part 1) Pornography addiction is increasingly common today, even among Christians. It’s a struggle many don’t want to admit, and freedom often feels out of reach. But our guests have broken the pornography cycle, and they join us this week to share their stories: what worked (and what didn’t) and why through God’s grace, freedom from sexual sin is possible. Leave Us a Voicemail Link to Counseling Services Culture: When Porn Shows Up on Your Honeymoon Mark and Rosie Makinney were on their honeymoon when a terrible secret was discovered — Mark was addicted to pornography. Rosie confronted him and together they began a journey to see if Mark was serious about his sin and if their marriage could be saved. You’ll hear their incredible testimony of God’s redemption, plus Mark’s no-holds-barred account of what he had to give up to finally crush porn’s hold on him. Fight for Love: How to Take Your Marriage Back from Porn Hope Restored Inbox: When To Reveal Trauma to Your Date Everything from past sexual experiences to self-harm, abuse and other traumas can be hard to discuss when dating. If you’ve made decisions you deeply regret, when is the right time to bring them up in a relationship? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in.

When you need a dating “time out,” plus Q&A with Tovares and Safa Grey, and how to respond when your gay friends ask you to affirm their choices. Featured musical artist: Jonathan Cain Roundtable: How to Pause Your Dating Life Dating can be exciting, but for certain reasons you may need to occasionally take a break. How do you know when a pause is necessary? And how long should it be? Our guests share the benefits they’ve seen in seasons of flying solo, and how to make a break work best for you. Oh, we also talk about how to not over-spiritualize non-dating or use it as an excuse for passive behavior or bitterness. Leave Us a Voicemail Culture: Q&A With Tovares and Safa Grey Our friends Tovares and Safa Grey, founders of Godly Dating 101, have returned — this time in person! They address the most common dating questions they get from followers, the biggest mistakes singles make in waiting for a spouse, and lessons they’ve learned since tying the knot. Link to Godly Dating 101 Inbox: When a Gay Friend Asks for Affirmation You have a gay friend who asks for your support of their sexual choices. Amid intense cultural pressure and the desire to love your friend, how do you respond in a God-honoring way? Gender and sexuality analyst Jeff Johnston weighs in.

When friends and family urge you to date, plus Hannah Schermerhorn on lessons she learned in singleness, and being a sympathetic listener. Featured musical artist: Love and the Outcome Roundtable: Feeling Pressured to Date Friends and family are our biggest cheerleaders, but it’s unhelpful when they keep asking, “Have you found someone yet?” If you’ve fielded that question for what seems like the thousandth time, what can you do? We share ideas for responding with grace when others pressure you to date. Leave us a Voicemail Culture: One Woman’s Singleness Journey For Hannah Schermerhorn, being single felt like admitting failure. After a broken engagement, she struggled to put the pieces of her heart together. But through that journey, she learned singleness can actually be a wonderful season with unexpected blessings. She joins us to tell her story, including an assurance that being a single adult doesn’t make you a second-class citizen. A Single Life to Live: Stop Waiting for Your Life to Begin and Thrive Where God Has You Today Inbox: How Can I Listen to a Friend’s Problem? When anyone approaches our listener with a problem, he finds himself wanting to give advice rather than listening and showing compassion. How can he beef up his listening skills? Counselor Linda Miller weighs in.

Discussing how we spent the summer, plus Covenant Eyes’ Sam Black on the church’s role in porn recovery, and how do you stop a panic attack? Featured musical artist: Audio Adrenaline Roundtable: Did You Have a Productive Summer? Now that summer is coming to a close, it’s time to take stock: What went well with this season of longer and supposedly carefree days, and what do you wish you’d done differently? Lisa and our guests started out with high hopes and open calendars, and now admit their share of both highlights and disappointments. If you wish your summer had gone differently (or you’re discouraged heading into fall), we’ll give a few ideas for redeeming the remaining days and staying hopeful for the months to come. Leave us a Voicemail Culture: Why Porn Addicts Need the Church Sam Black is director of recovery education at Covenant Eyes, a trusted ministry designed to help people in their journey out of porn addiction. Sam shares his story and provides reasons and ways the church must (and can) be a safe place of recovery for addicts. Join us for this hopeful and practical conversation about the power of vulnerable community done right. The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography and How to Fix It Find the Victory App Inbox: How to Stop a Panic Attack Whenever our listener faces a stressor – whether it’s money, work or relationships – he finds himself battling a full-blown panic attack. What can he do? Counselor Tim Sanford weighs in.

Recognizing God in daily life, plus cultivating a good relationship with your parents, and what to do when you disagree with your parents’ advice. Featured musical artist: David Dunn Roundtable: Seeing God’s Hand in Everyday Life We look at big, life-changing events and say, “Only God could’ve done that!” But what about the everyday moments? What about the situations that seem entirely ordinary? Is God in those, too? This week we’re talking about the many ways we’re currently seeing God’s hand in our lives, and we’ll give you a few ideas for recognizing Him in yours as well. Leave us a Voicemail Culture: Do You Get Along With Your Parents? One of the hardest parts about becoming an adult is navigating the tricky relational shift with your parents. You want to honor and respect them, but what if they still treat you like a kid? What if you struggle to understand their lifestyle or decisions? What if they’re a bit too clingy or nosy? For Rhonda Stoppe and her son Brandon, the journey has had plenty of ups, downs, and lightbulb moments along the way. In our conversation, they offer hope for a healthy, mature and balanced parent-child relationship. In fact, they’ll even argue that parents and their adult children can (gasp!) become friends. Moms Raising Sons to Be Men: Guiding Them Toward Their Purpose and Passion Rhonda’s Website Inbox: When You Don’t Like a Parent’s Advice Your parents may mean well, but what happens when you flat-out disagree with their advice? Is this a time to take it, ignore it, or call them out? Counselor Joannie DeBrito weighs in.

Butting into a friend’s dating life, plus making church a haven for victims of abuse, and what if your best friend doesn’t like your other friends? Featured musical artist: Austin Stone Worship Roundtable: Getting Involved in Your Friend’s Dating Life Your friend is dating and you see something in the relationship that concerns you. Is it time to speak up? If so, how? How much input should you have in friends’ relationships, anyway? Our guests (one married, one engaged, one single) offer pointers on how to “meddle with grace” in situations like these. Leave us a Voicemail Culture: Is Church a Safe Place for the Abused? Dr. James Reeves felt God call him to make the church he pastored a place of healing for those who’ve been sexually abused. The impact of the church’s ministry has been felt throughout the Dallas community since its inception, and now it is leading the way for other churches to follow suit. Dr. Reeves and Focus on the Family counselor Geremy Keeton discuss why church should be the safest place for those who’ve been abused, and what it looks like to make that happen. The Fearless Series Website The Wounded Heart Link to Counseling Services Link to Articles for Help for Abusive Relationships Inbox: Best Friend vs. Other Friends Your best friend feels he or she doesn’t fit in with your other friends, and isn’t afraid to say so. Is this a problem with your bestie or with everyone else? How can you discuss this in a loving and constructive manner? Counselor Tim Sanford weighs in.

Struggling to find your dream job, plus recovery from religious trauma, and when you’re in a relationship but have a crush on someone else. Featured musical artist: Vertical Worship Roundtable: What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up? Figuring out your career path can be intimidating, and it’s rarely a straight line of opportunities and decisions. Few of us knew for certain what we wanted to do upon graduating from college, and some of us still haven’t found our career sweet spot. What’s the answer? Is it trial and error? Taking another career assessment? Prayer and fasting? All of the above? Our roundtable guests have been there, and they infuse this week’s conversation with practical tips and encouragement for trusting God with our vocational futures. Leave us a Voicemail Culture: Hope After Spiritual Trauma Most Christians have at some point experienced a version of church hurt. In many cases, it’s been emotionally and spiritually traumatic. Whether it’s abuse, rejection, betrayal, moral failure or a massive church split, spiritual trauma is real. In the midst of it (or in the aftermath), how do you stay close to God? How do you trust His heart, and how do you find healing? Counselor Rob Jackson has years of pastoral and clinical counseling experience and has worked with many people on recovery in this sphere. If you’re struggling with pain from church wounds, this discussion may help you move forward. Walking with God through Pain and Suffering Link to Counseling Services Inbox: When You Have a Crush on Someone Else What do you do if you’re in a serious relationship but you have a crush on someone else? Counselor Kari Aho weighs in.

Maintaining hope for your future marriage, plus ways to share the gospel online, and how do you break a cursing habit? Featured musical artist: Nathan Tasker Roundtable: Why Marriage Is Worth It With all the negative messages about marriage these days, it’s easy to wonder: Can marriage really work? Isn’t it easier to remain single? While singleness is itself a great calling, for those who are meant to marry some extra encouragement may be necessary. Our guests this week provide inspiration to stay the course and believe in marriage as a good thing. As Lisa says, “God’s still in the business of making great matches.” If marriage is in your future, there is hope. Leave us a Voicemail Culture: Sharing the Gospel Online Australian evangelist Ryan Hemelaar is taking advantage of life in an increasingly digital age to share the gospel with people around the world — all from the comfort of his home. As the founder of NeedGod.net, he shares exciting stories of what God is doing in online conversations, and why technology is an increasingly effective way to spread the good news of Jesus Christ. Honest Evangelism: How to talk about Jesus even when it’s tough NeedGod.Net Inbox: How Can I Stop Cursing? Using profanity is a persistent struggle for many. Our listener admittedly has a cursing problem and wants strategies for how to stop. Counselor Jerry Jones weighs in.

Knowing God’s voice, plus part two of a conversation on self-control, and how to stop imagining worst-case scenarios. Featured musical artist: Stu Garrard Roundtable: Distinguishing God’s Voice From Mine As Christians, we want to hear God’s voice, but how do we know it’s actually Him speaking? We second-guess a decision or direction, or we put out another proverbial fleece, or we wait for a bright light or booming voice — that never comes. Our guests break down their own challenges in hearing from God, including overcoming the paralysis of not knowing who or what to believe. Leave us a Voicemail Culture: Learning Self-Control (Part 2) You started the year with good intentions, but they were short-lived. Now more than halfway through 2023, all of your goals, resolutions, and “I’ll do betters” have fallen by the wayside. Fortunately, author Drew Dyck is here to help. He’s consulted both the Bible and brain science to find out why self-control is so hard, but also how we can strategically build the muscle to help us form good habits that will go the distance. In part two of our conversation, Drew talks about The Habit Loop, relying on God’s strength, and how to beat technology addiction. Your Future Self Will Thank You: Secrets to Self-Control from the Bible and Brain Science Inbox: Help for Overthinkers Our listener is struggling with overthinking things to the point where he imagines scenarios that don’t happen. Our producer, John Peardon, is no stranger to this — so he’ll encourage us with strategies that have helped him find peace of mind.

Don’t feel left out this summer, plus a conversation on self-control, and breaking up with a friend who isn’t good for you. Featured musical artist: All Sons & Daughters Roundtable: Left Out of Summer Fun? You’re going about your summer and having a good time — until you discover some of your friends planned an event but didn’t invite you. Now that you think about it, a lot of things seem to be happening without you…at least if Instagram has anything to say about it. How do you respond? This week we talk about what makes us feel left out and how we can craft a contented summer regardless of who’s doing what. Leave us a Voicemail Culture: Learning Self-Control (Part 1) You started the year with good intentions, but they were short-lived. Now more than halfway through 2023, all of your goals, resolutions, and “I’ll do betters” have fallen by the wayside. Fortunately, author Drew Dyck is here to help. He’s consulted both the Bible and brain science to find out why self-control is so hard, but also how we can strategically build the muscle to help us form good habits that will go the distance. In part one of our conversation, Drew extols the virtues of self-control, explains why willpower isn’t enough by itself, and how a conversation with his wife helped him take some personal inventory. Your Future Self Will Thank You: Secrets to Self-Control from the Bible and Brain Science Inbox: When a Friend Isn’t Good for You You’re noticing that a friendship isn’t bringing out the best in you, and you’re wondering: Is it time to cut ties? Counselor Kari Aho weighs in.

How to live successfully with roommates, plus Gary Thomas on the desire for marriage, and is coffee addiction sinful? Featured musical artist: Various Artists Roundtable: Tips for Getting Along With Roommates Having a roommate (or more than one) is a great option for young adults who want to save money, live in community, and grow as an individual. But not every roommate situation is created equal; some roommates are naturally easy to get along with while others can be difficult. This week we share the highs and lows we’ve experienced with roommates, how to vet potential candidates, how to have productive conversations (even around conflict), how to set expectations in a living situation, and even how to be a good roommate yourself. Leave us a Voicemail Culture: Gary Thomas on Desiring Marriage Seeing friend after friend get married can feel discouraging if you’re still single with virtually no prospects. Will it ever be your turn? Pastor Gary Thomas, author of “The Sacred Search,” offers advice to those who are in a season of hoping and waiting for marriage. He’ll also suggest ways to grow in maturity and purpose as you seek a spouse. The Sacred Search: Updated & Revised Inbox: Is Coffee Addiction a Sin? We naturally label as “addiction” a dependence on things like drugs and alcohol. But what about caffeine? Is being coffee-dependent a sin? Lisa Anderson weighs in.

Wrestling with doubts about your faith, plus Gary Thomas gives book recommendations, and prioritizing time with your family. Featured musical artist: Abandon Roundtable: What If I Have Doubts About My Faith? At some point in your Christian walk, you’ll have questions about God, faith, the Bible and more. While seeking answers is a good thing, what about entertaining doubts? Does God want us to question Him? Is doubting a sign of a lack of faith — or of not being saved? Our guests open up about things they’ve struggled with and what has helped them seek and trust God amid questions, doubts and dark nights of the soul. Leave us a Voicemail Culture: Book Recommendations From Gary Thomas Summer is here, and with it comes summer reading. Pastor and author Gary Thomas (hello, “The Sacred Search”) is a popular guest who is also an avid reader. If you’re looking for great books to read this summer (or anytime!), be sure to listen in as Gary gives some of his top recommendations across a wide variety of genres. The Sacred Search: Updated & Revised; When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People Inbox: Spending More Time With Family Time is a precious gift — and so is family — so how do you prioritize your loved ones when your days and weeks are jam-packed with work, activities, and other pastimes? Our host Lisa Anderson weighs in.

What guys need in a friend, plus Alisha Plummer on singles in church, and are most Christian men on dating sites OK with premarital sex? Featured musical artist: Aaron Strumpel Roundtable: What Men Need From Friendships Friendships are essential for emotional and relational health; without them, our lives can easily become self-centered and empty. But what exactly do men and women need from their friends, and what should we be willing to give? This week, a group of guys discuss friendship from a male perspective. They share what makes a friendship meaningful, how to go deeper in friendship, and how to call each other out when necessary. Leave us a Voicemail Culture: Including Singles at Church With most churches programmed for couples and families, it’s easy for single adults to feel left out. But Scripture affirms singles as a vital part of the family as well as the body of Christ. Alisha Plummer is a Christian single with constructive ideas for how the church can better integrate its unmarried members. If you’re feeling alone at church, this will be an encouraging discussion. Confessions of a Christian Spinster: Finding Purpose in a Perplexed and Paired-Up Church Inbox: Men and Premarital Sex Our listener says many of the guys she’s met on dating apps say their faith is important — yet they don’t have a problem justifying premarital sex. She’s pretty upset about it. Is this a male problem, or is there something bigger here? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in.

What girls need in a friend, plus Laurie Polich Short on trusting God’s timing, and tips for those struggling in their first job out of college. Featured musical artist: Covenant Worship Roundtable: What Women Need From Friendships Friendships are essential for emotional and relational health; without them, our lives can easily become self-centered and empty. But what exactly do men and women need from their friends, and what should we be willing to give? This week, a group of ladies discuss friendship from a female perspective. They share what makes a friendship meaningful, how to go deeper in friendship, what to do when a relationship fizzles, and more. (Next week: the men!) Leave us a Voicemail Hear Laurie’s Story of Waiting for Marriage! Culture: Trusting God’s Timing What do you do when God says, “Wait”? Or maybe you’re wondering if He’s saying anything at all. Trusting God’s timing and plan is no easy feat. Laurie Polich Short has relied on God during several seasons of waiting, including years of being single (she got married for the first time at age 49). Laurie will share strategies for waiting well, how to listen to God in what seems like silence, and why letting God call the shots is always worth it. Faith, Doubt and God’s Mysterious Timing: 30 Biblical Insights About the Way God Works Hear Laurie’s Story of Waiting for Marriage! Watch Laurie’s Video Series Inbox: Launching a Career She’s struggling with her first job out of college. Is there a way to get a jump-start and make progress when you’re new to the workforce? HR expert Marshonda Dixon weighs in.

Reflecting on 800 episodes, plus more with Dr. Greg Smalley on preparing for a great marriage, and is church membership biblical? Featured musical artist: David Baloche Roundtable: Celebrating #800 Thanks to you, our listeners, we’ve reached our 800th episode! To mix things up, show producer John Peardon and audio engineer Alex Seeley take a turn hosting the roundtable — with Lisa Anderson as their guest. They ask her to reflect on hosting 800 episodes, plus everything from which Bible character she’d want to trade places with for a day, to things she wants Christians to stop doing, and skills she’s used from previous jobs in her current role. Leave us a Voicemail Culture: Preparing for Your Future Marriage (Part 2) Many singles dream of finding a spouse. But after that comes…marriage. Marriage is fantastic, but not easy. Are there things to learn before marriage that will set you up for better success in marriage? To help frame our perspective on what makes marriage work, Dr. Greg Smalley instructs us how to think about love from a godly perspective. In part two, he’ll address how love needs time to grow, plus why true love embraces and endures. Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage Podcast Marriage Assessment Inbox: Should You Join a Church? Most Christians would agree that being part of a local church is important; but is it necessary to be a member rather than just attend? Is that biblical? Lisa Anderson weighs in. Is Church Membership Important?

Dating without losing yourself, plus Dr. Greg Smalley on preparing for a great marriage, and when does a relationship reach the “serious” stage? Featured musical artist: Stu Garrard Roundtable: Don’t Lose Yourself in Dating It happens all the time: Two people fall in love — then go MIA. You don’t see them except when they’re together (if that). But it’s not healthy to lose yourself in another person at any stage, so how can we encourage a healthier approach to dating? What are appropriate boundaries and rhythms to keep in mind? Our guests have walked the dating journey with ups and downs in this area, and they’ll offer ideas for enjoying and getting to know another person without losing your independence. Culture: Preparing for Your Future Marriage (Part 1) Many singles dream of finding a spouse. But after that comes…marriage. Marriage is fantastic, but not easy. Are there things to learn before marriage that will set you up for better success in marriage? To help frame our perspective on what makes marriage work, Dr. Greg Smalley instructs us how to think about love from a godly perspective. In part one of our conversation, he’ll address the principles of commitment, seeking God, and honoring your significant other. Receive the book Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage: 12 Secrets for a Lifelong Romance for your donation of any amount! Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage Podcast Inbox: When Does a Relationship Become “Serious”? He’s not been in a serious dating relationship before, but recently started chatting with a girl who lives 1,300 miles away. He’s planning to visit her soon and sees her as someone he could date. But he’s wondering: When does a relationship reach the “serious” stage, and what does he need to know in light of that? Lisa Anderson weighs in. Boundless Guides to Marrying Well

Finding joy amid depression, plus Jonathan Pokluda on Christians and alcohol, and should high-schoolers date? Featured musical artist: Hollyn Roundtable: Finding Joy When It Feels Impossible Christians are called to live joyful lives; after all, joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit. But how do you find joy when your entire world feels dark and hopeless? Our guests know the deep valleys of depression and anxiety; they have fought for joy in the trenches and have seen God show up. They’ll share their personal journeys as well as insight and encouragement for those struggling to trust God’s goodness from under the heaviness of life’s burdens. Paul’s Book: Beauty in the Browns: Walking With Christ in the Darkness of Depression Link to Counseling Services Culture: What Does the Bible Say About Booze? For Christians, consuming alcohol is a divisive subject. Wherever you are on the “is it OK?” spectrum, there is biblical wisdom around the issue that everyone should consider. Pastor Jonathan Pokluda shares his own relationship, past and present, with drinking, and he and Lisa discuss current cultural cues around alcohol that could benefit from a healthier, God-honoring perspective. Link to Article: The Latest Buzz Around Christians and Alcohol Inbox: Dating in High School Are high-schoolers too young to date? Why or why not? Counselor Geremy Keeton weighs in.

Detoxing from social media addiction, plus more with JP Pokluda on killing bad habits, and is it wrong to date if you aren’t ready for marriage? Featured musical artist: Je’kob Roundtable: How to Detox From Social Media You intend to “just check” your social media accounts, but a few minutes turn into an hour or more of mindless scrolling. You’ve tried to stop before, but the lure of the screen and its endless notifications are too much. You promise to do something about it…tomorrow. If this sounds like you, it may be time for a detox. To help motivate you, our guests describe what has helped them control the time spent on their phones, specifically with social media. They’ll also talk about the life gains they’ve seen as a result, and share ideas for replacing screen time with real relationships. Culture: JP Pokluda on Breaking Bad Habits (Part 2) Why Do I Do What I Don’t Want to Do? Replace Deadly Vices With Life-Giving Virtues Inbox: Dating Without Marriage in Mind Is it wrong to date if you aren’t ready to get married? Counselor Kari Aho weighs in. In Romans 7, the Apostle Paul is candid about his struggle with sin: “Why do I do what I don’t want to do?” Pastor Jonathan Pokluda asks the same question in his latest book (titled exactly that!). We can all relate, but what do we do about it? Is it possible to replace vices with virtues and bad habits with good ones? Is it possible to not let sin have mastery over us? In part two of our conversation, JP will tackle three battles we all face: perception management vs. authenticity, busyness vs. rest, and cynicism vs. optimism.