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Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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Described by George Hook as the greatest Irish player never to make it and described by everyone else who knows him as a shallow, self-obsessed idiot.

Described by George Hook as the greatest Irish player never to make it and described by everyone else who knows him as a shallow, self-obsessed idiot.
More Information

Location:

Ireland

Description:

Described by George Hook as the greatest Irish player never to make it and described by everyone else who knows him as a shallow, self-obsessed idiot.

Language:

English


Episodes

‘He was basically saying I’m Leinster and Ireland’s unsung hero’

5/18/2018
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So I’m lying on the floor in Bilbao airport – in shock

Duration:00:05:32

It turns out that I’m not as blue-blooded as I thought

5/11/2018
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In fact my ancestors – brace yourselves, goys – are from Munster

Duration:00:06:02

‘Priced out of Killiney? That’s what you get for choosing an orts degree!’

5/4/2018
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Ross has done a whole series of ads for the ‘Irish Times’ property section

Duration:00:05:54

Kielys of Donnybrook could be lost forever

4/27/2018
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Surely Ross can come up with a plan to save a little bit of southside heritage...

Duration:00:06:06

‘I can sense Sorcha tensing up when Honor is asked, “Do you reject Satan?”’

4/20/2018
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It’s one of the biggest days in the south Dublin social calendar

Duration:00:06:15

‘I’m not posting bail for Conor McGregor. He dresses better than I do’

4/13/2018
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Ronan wants to go to New York and hab a woord with his heerdo.

Duration:00:05:19

‘People need to realise ‘Room to Improve’ is just a TV show. It’s not reality’

4/6/2018
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You’d have to be up early in the morning to get one over on Lauren, though - and when I say early, I mean before the Happy Pear goys are turning cortwheels on Greystones beach.

Duration:00:05:34

‘I’ve chosen Vladimir for my Confirmation name. After Vladimir Putin’

3/30/2018
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I grab my jacket and I perform my famous Ironmonger Act – I make a bolt for the door.

Duration:00:05:18

‘It’s 500 yoyos to secure a seat, non-refundable in the event of cancellation’

3/23/2018
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Rude restaurants – in Ranelagh – are back and the family has a booking

Duration:00:06:07

‘Bouncy castles attract undesirables. They’re not for People Like Us’

3/16/2018
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Just when Ross thought there were no more tears, the floodgates open in Bucharest

Duration:00:06:09

‘You’re going to need to find another sucker – Mother’s Day or no Mother’s Day’

3/9/2018
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Ireland are playing Scotland – but I know my old dear well enough to know when I’m being blackmailed

Duration:00:05:41

‘You went down a different route, Sorcha. You had a family. Three beautiful children. Plus Honor’

3/2/2018
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The Mount Anville past pupils breakfast is like LinkedIn with egg white omelettes and epic insincerity.

Duration:00:05:56

‘Why am I driving a shit cor? Because rugby is no longer a guarantee of anything’

2/23/2018
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It’s hord to put into actual words the power of my new, one-seat, electric, company cor, other than to say it’s like if you fixed four wheels to Sorcha’s hair dryer, then tried to drive the thing to work.

Duration:00:05:53

The Gord goes: ‘Do you ever inquire as to what your daughter gets up to online?’

2/3/2018
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‘You’d better look at the video she posted three days ago’...

Duration:00:06:00

‘To my ears, Irish always sounds like someone is hurting a Norwegian’

1/12/2018
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Ross isn’t on board with Sorcha’s Irish resolution – and it’s about to blow up in his face

Duration:00:06:02

I’m the most high-profile Irish rugby player who never got the Leaving?’

1/5/2018
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The dude who rings is called Mister Something-Something. His name isn’t important. He says he’s from the Deportment of Education and he has some good news for me.

Duration:00:05:42

‘Oh my God, it’s Christmas – and we’ve just been told there’s no room at the Inn’

12/22/2017
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Honor goes, “What the fock are we doing in Cork anyway?” and I end up having to laugh because it’s honestly like listening to myself.

Duration:00:05:53

‘Don’t forget to leave a very, very large gin and tonic out for, ahem, Rudolph!’

12/12/2017
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“Honor has never been sentimental about Christmas. Do you remember the first time we ever watched the Late Late Toy Show together as a family? And she said she wanted to smash all of the toys with a hammer just to make all the other children cry?”

Duration:00:06:24

‘Dave came back from that HR course like a soldier who’s been to war and can’t speak about it’

12/8/2017
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Dave from the office was in chorge of payroll until he did a course in human resources in the Smurfit Business School in Blackrock and returned to work six weeks later having lost his sense of smell, his sense of taste and – most tragically of all – his sense of humour.

Duration:00:06:15

‘Grandad!’ Rihanna-Brogan shouts. ‘Don’t call me that! Call me Rosser. Or Rossmeister’

11/30/2017
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Ross O’Carroll-Kelly is a grandfather and his old man is building a prison called Robbin’ Island.

Duration:00:05:50

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