Polishing Turds: A Bad Music Podcast

We wrap up this beast of a series by covering the last four decades of Village People history: from their uncomfortably cringe downfall to their recent return to relevance at the hands of a fascist goon. This ever-dumbfounding narrative winds its way through the topics of Milkshakes, Phone Sex, Copyright Law, German Soccer, and so much more! FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

The Village People hit their stride with such monster hits as "Y.M.C.A." and "In the Navy", proving that mainstream America will go to any lengths to not get the hint as to what their music's really about. We'll analyze the music from the band's golden age while also connecting it to the broader context of the late 70s music scene... You see, by this point Disco has completely overwhelmed American culture, inserting itself into every conceivable medium including breakfast cereals (seriously!). A backlash was inevitable, the most salient example of which was an ill-fated baseball promotion-turned-riot called Disco Demolition Night, which we'll explore in detail. FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

We begin a three part series on the Village People, who for legal reasons we must tell you are absolutely not gay at all... FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

Awww yeah! We're back with another low-effort minisode where we catch up on all the recent goings-on from artists we profiled in the past. Come hear about all the wacky exploits from your favorite Polishing Turds alumni. We've got Cruises with Creed, AI experiments with the Black Eyed Peas, juicy drama from the Cyrus family, and so much more! What better way to start off this horrible, horrible year? FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

You thought American Christmas music was dumb? Wait till you hear what the folks across the pond are up to... This year's Holiday Special examines the annual tradition of the UK Christmas Number One. Each year the British public gets hyped up over which song is going to top the charts on Christmas week. Sounds innocent enough, and yet for whatever reason half the songs they pick make no goddamn sense at all. From schoolgirl choirs to TV characters to insufferable YouTube stars, the British people have proven themselves just as capable of desecrating this holiday as anyone else. Bloody hell, how'd this country colonize half the world? FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

We conclude our interminable Iced Earth series with the dramatic assault of the U.S. Capitol building on January 6, 2021. This riot was facilitated in part by a wacky militia called the Oath Keepers, a group whose membership happened to include Jon Schaffer. As usual we go deep; covering the history of the Oath Keepers as well as the far-right Patriot movement from which they emerged. We also discuss what happened to Jon Schaffer after his arrest, the fairness of his sentencing and whether or not we can truly heal as a nation. FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

How did Iced Earth guitarist Jon Schaffer become a deranged conspiracy theorist? What led him down that toxic rabbit hole, and what exactly are the beliefs that led him to storm the Capitol on January 6? It turns out most of Jon's anger and paranoia was centered around the Federal Reserve system, which conspiracy cranks believe is responsible for a sinister plot to impose a New World Order on the unsuspecting sheeple. But what's the actual truth? What does the Federal Reserve actually do, and why do so many people believe monetary policy is the main instrument of global socialist tyranny? These questions have dire implications for the state of modern political discourse, and that's why it takes two random guys from Wisconsin to break it down on a music podcast. Which is what we're gonna do. For two hours. Enjoy! FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

We cover the bizarre story of heavy metal legends Iced Earth, whose lead member was involved in the January 6 Capitol Riot. (Sorry about all the dog barking in the background lol) Selected Sources: Metal Injection article from 1/6/2021: https://metalinjection.net/politics/is-this-a-photo-of-iced-earths-jon-schaffer-raiding-the-capitol-building "The Fall of Jon Schaffer" by J. Salmeron: https://promethean.substack.com/p/the-fall-of-jon-schaffer "The Radicalization of Jon Schaffer" video by Metal Blast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfWkUsinRbU&t=1071s 2004 interview w/ Schaffer: https://bravewords.com/features/bw-bk-iced-earth-controversy-you-be-the-judge FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

Imagine Dragons have become too popular for their own good; a worldwide backlash is only inevitable! Critics, musicians, and countless Twitter randos unite to take the piss out of this commercial rock behemoth. They are, to put it bluntly, the New Nickelback... All this ridicule naturally hurts Dan Reynolds' feelings, and he responds to it the only way he know how: by making crappy music. Indeed, the songs that bubble up in the wake of Imagine Dragons' fall from grace are easily the most unbearable of their career. But through it all the boys learn some hard-won lessons, and Dan comes out in a better place than ever before. It's actually kinda heartwarming. [Note: since this recording Cal wishes to express his apologies as he has realized that not ALL of Imagine Dragons' songs are in the same key!] FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

In Part II of our series we take on Imagine Dragons at their biggest, their boldest, their most obnoxious stage. During the mid-2010s this "rock" band brought their thunderous stomp-clap earworms to every observable realm of the human experience. Whether you were simply trying to listen to the radio, watch a football game, or take a stroll through a shopping center you COULD NOT escape this band. In this episode we try to parse out just what it is that made Imagine Dragons so commercially successful, and why that's so annoying to old geezers like us. On the flip side, we also talk about some of Imagine Dragons' charitable efforts including their support for Mormon LGBTQ+ youth. We also, quite predictably, go off on random tangents about fast food and obscure PC games. FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

Who are Imagine Dragons? Why has their music dominated every mall, stadium, and TV commercial for the past 10 years? Why do old fogies like us find their music so obnoxious?? Perhaps Imagine Dragons are the industry's final attempt to kill rock and roll. Or maybe their music is a sincere expression of their soul and just happens to sound like that. Either way, the only to find out is to dig in. So get fired up, believers! Cal and Nick are going to dive into the story of the biggest rock band of the modern age; a tale that involves a few strange coincidences and quite a lot of religion... FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

Live Aid - the 1985 worldwide charity extravaganza - has often been called the "greatest concert of all time." So why is it here getting the Polishing Turds treatment? Well, there's more to Live Aid than the iconic Queen set from Bohemian Rhapsody. There's the disturbing, politically-charged famine that inspired the event in the first place. There's a famously inept reunion show from a legendary band backed by a globe-trotting Phil Collins. And of course, there's the lingering, thorny question of where exactly all that money went. We discuss all of these things and more in this brief little minisode! SELECTED SOURCE MATERIAL: https://www.spin.com/2015/07/live-aid-the-terrible-truth-ethiopia-bob-geldof-feature/ https://web.archive.org/web/20180516155623/http://www.sahistory.org.za/sites/default/files/file%20uploads%20/peter_gill_famine_and_foreigners_ethiopia_sincebook4you.pdf https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/nov/19/turn-down-band-aid-bob-geldof-africa-fuse-odg https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1985/07/14/rock-around-the-world/1f4ca02b-a8b2-4bd7-a94c-b60713b59a93/ [Also credit to Bob Geldof's 1986 autobiography Is That It?] FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

It's a brand new millennium. The "Tubthumping" heyday is long gone and most people have forgotten Chumbawamba even existed. But that doesn't mean our quirky comrades are down for the count; on the contrary they're ready as ever to confront this modern tech dystopia with their trademark wit and biting social commentary, in addition to a rather liberal employment of accordions.... As always, inadvertent history lessons come with the territory of discussing this band, and in this episode you'll be treated to a number of delightful tidbits including the sinking of the HMS Glorious, the British traditions of fell running and pantomime theatre, and the controversy surrounding the use of a certain metal band's music to interrogate Iraqi prisoners. Great SPIN article on the use of torture in music: https://www.spin.com/2006/11/music-torture-war-loud/ FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

At long last, it's TUBTHUMPING TIME!! After endless digressions through history, politics, and obscure music scenes we finally arrive at Chumbawamba's era-defining hit. What does "Tubthumping" mean? What inspired its composition? Which creepy pederast mogul pushed it onto pop radio? We're gonna tell you everything you wanted to know about this tune and then some! This episode also includes a special theatrical contribution from the following voice actors. HUGE THANKS to the these talented humans: Jeremy Isabella Peter and Dasha Barnes Peter Mackie Jack Mackie Kseniya Yorsh Jason Dipietro Anthony Howes ...stay tuned for Part IV! FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

Our heroes continue their wayward march toward improbable fame, satiating their anarchic through dalliances with new genres of music, including dance, pop, reggae, and a mysterious unheard-of one which we apparently think exists. And of course this being Chumbawamba, we've supplied the necessary historical context for each esoteric track. Topics of conversation in this episode will include Live Aid, Apartheid, a bitch slap in Parliament, hypocrisies in sampling law and beyond. **Listening to this episode will automatically earn you credits toward a PoliSci degree!** FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

(Okay FINE we'll tell the actual story of Chumbawamba and not a bunch of obscure noisy punk bands you've never heard of!) Before they were pop superstars, they were a misbegotten collection of misfits from the post-industrial wasteland of Northern England. They lived collectively in a dilapidated squat house, sharing all food and money (and, occasionally, each other's bodies). They agitated for revolution and made allies with striking coal miners. And slowly but surely, they came to realize they were made for better things than the insular punk scene which had given them birth. This is the story of the nascent days of Chumbawamba; a band even more beautifully ridiculous than their name suggests. **SPECIAL THANKS TO THE ALMIGHTY TABOR MOUNTAIN!! BUY HIS NEW RECORD "TWIGLIGHT APOLOGIES" TODAY!!** https://tabormountain.bandcamp.com/album/twilight-apologies FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

In 1997 a smash-hit single called "Tubthumping" took the world by storm. Its authors were an eccentric eight-piece outfit from Leeds, England who kept insisting that they were anarchists. Media and fans alike were confused: what did this feel-good drinking song have to do with politics? And what were a bunch of radicals doing making pop music anyhow? This is the story of Chumbawamba... sort of. You see, to understand Chumbawamba's incongruous success as pop star anarchists, you have to know the backstory. Far from an overnight success, this band's roots stretched back 15 years earlier to a small but immensely important scene called anarcho-punk. This movement, spearheaded by the legendary underground group Crass, merged music and radical politics in a manner that was bolder and more aggressive than anyone had ever seen, so much so that even those in the upper echelons of the State began to get nervous! In this episode we tell the incredible story of Crass and the 80s anarcho-punk movement that, however indirectly, led to one of the catchiest singalong anthems of the 90s. Consider this a Prequel to our proper Chumbawamba series. But unlike the Star Wars prequels, this shit is just as good (if not better) than the real thing... FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL ABUSE, KIDNAPPING, AND OTHER GRUESOME SUBJECT MATTER. Hey guys. Remember Viper, that insane meme rapper who sang about the virtues of smoking crack? Well recently he's been arrested on some truly disturbing charges. This story is so monumentally insane that we had to talk about it separately from our regular content. This episode is short and not very funny. There's no music. Quite honestly, the goal of uploading this is less to entertain our audience than to clean our conscience. We won't be offended if you skip this. We'll be back with a real episode soon! FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

Wesley Willis was truly one of the strangest dudes to ever touch a keyboard. A street artist and independent musician from Chicago's south side, Wesley self-produced dozens of CDs before amassing a grassroots cult following among hipsters and music nerds. Wesley was a consummate "outsider artist"; his songs are basically little more than spoken word rants belted over a pre-programmed keyboard track. His lyrics cover all manner of oddities from McDonald's to gangsters to Sucking a Camel's Ass. Wesley himself was a barely-functional eccentric who suffered from schizophrenia and liked to headbutt everyone he met. So why do so many people adore his music? Well it's one of those things you just have to hear in order to understand. His songs are hilarious, charming, and 100% original, and his life story is as tragic and harrowing as anyone you'll read about. Join us on a wild, left-field ride to kick off 2024! ***NOTE: WE ARE NOW BACK ON INSTAGRAM!! PLEASE FOLLOW @polishing.podcast FOR FURTHER UPDATES!!*** Selected sources/supplemental material: "Wesley Willis As Himself" Documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CJ-sHcArHk Posthumous article by David Buck: https://tedium.co/2017/11/16/wesley-willis-remembrance-history/ FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

HO HO HO! We're finally back for our annual Holiday Special! This year we're examining all the ways that Christmas music gets adapted by and tailored to various subcultures in our society. Rednecks, truckers, metalheads, vegans -- they all have their own Christmas songs, and we'd like to pay homage to this shameless pandering by playing 10 of the weirdest, most esoteric Christmas songs that search bars could scour up. Happy Holidays, fam! We love all of you!! [P.S. DUE TO SOME RANDOM FUCKERY BY META, WE HAVE HAD TO SET UP A NEW INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT. PLEASE FOLLOW US AT polishing.podcast. THANK YOU!!] FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com