Stall It with Darren and Joe

Is it weirder to want to marry Nala from the Lion King or Cat Dog? Darren and Joe debate as they look to answer one listeners question inspired by Joe's recent tale of discovering hentai via his mother's new T-shirt. Another listener wants to know what mundane experience we will come to miss in the next ten years in the same way we miss renting a video from Xtra-vision - And of course, there's no end to Joe's suggestions as he predicts a world without cows where we all pay for goods via biometric eye scanners. And forget about Charlestown Athletic - Darren's putting together a new team and it's animals only. Send in your questions to StallIt@GoLoudNow.com

Joe has been on an odyssey, travelling across Dublin in a day filled with ever more bizarre, curious and excruciating people, places and situations. His day of adventure brought him from underwhelming escape rooms to midday strip clubs, and left him wondering what lay behind Dublin's closed doors. He spent some time in the company a gang of urinal destroyers, more time being harassed by a flock of hyper-irritating TikTok clowns, and (strangest of all) being ambushed while kayaking down the Liffey, by a man who was definitely not a fan. Meanwhile, Darren has been the victim of a drive-by-shouting. The Dublin portal gets picked apart, as does the sub-genre of Hollywood superstar vanity projects. And there’s plans afoot for a stage version of Joe’s food truck story, Spice Bag: The Musical.

Darren predicted the people would never turn on him – this week we learn he was sorely mistaken. Joe has identified the talent that separates him from the rest of us, and he’s really going for it. Your questions lead us to contemplate what might await us living a life as Crash bandicoot, and we weigh up the best of the local animals.

Darren catches Joe hitting the sun beds, and we discover this is a part of a whole new approach to Joe's grooming. We hear about the potential for circuses in the Gaeltacht, and that leads us down a rabbit hole trying to understand the widespread fear of clowns, and a sinister viral trend that made clowns so hated they had to retire Ronald McDonald. Some questions about the ocean lead us to a difference of opinion over some big claims about disappeared civilisations, and we end up hearing about zombie viruses rising from the thawing soil in deepest Siberia. And we, at last, decide to figure out if a real-life Death Star could be constructed.

We’re weighing up the very best category of pint, and hearing tips from listeners on the various body parts of Christian saints scattered across the land. A lifetime of kissing absolutely everyone gets little love, while life spent inside a horror film as a duo attempting to outrun the killer holds a certain appeal. A question about life in a barn full of animals, or your home full of farmyard animals, sparks a surprisingly in depth discussion on the pros and cons of all variables.

We resume normal business with several issues to iron out. Joe has been making more big claims that need to be contested, but somehow Darren has managed to upset Eoin to the point Joe is now off the hook. As Joe’s food truck empire grows at a staggering rate Darren reveals he’s been holding out on sharing a secret family recipe for curry sauce. We weigh up the pros and cons of joint weddings, from sharing fireworks to who has to sit in the front seat in the wedding car. Darren has started a new habit of walking that’s entertaining nobody, while Joe has finally found a source of cringe that’s too much even for him – in the surprisingly complex world of hardcore cosplay from 19th century France.

Joe's stomach is rumbling again and it's becoming a bone of contention in the studio, There's also a lot of fish talk - probably too much - as we return to your queries. One listener has been trawling through the archives and spotted a serious inconsistency in one of Joe's stories, while another has the lads giving fairly predictable answers to which is their favourite planet. A listener has a suggestion for a charity event that will put Joe's latest big talk to the test, very publicly. And we weigh up some eternal states of mild discomfort.

Is any man truly beautiful? Is Darren Conway a perfect example of God's handiwork, or a distant second to Real Madrid's Jude Bellingham? Joe sees deception everywhere and argues that all beauty in the male form is in fact faked, particularly when it comes to Jude. Darren has been helping to hang tellys and worries he might have left a ticking time bomb clinging on to some plaster board, while Joe's attempts at DIY have left an entire family afraid to put their toothbrushes in their bathroom cabinet. And there's a debate on authenticity in life and sport, with Darren leaning towards the hipsters and their instagramable pizza, while Joe wants something that bit more real from his existence.

As Joe's venture into the world of hospitality looms large, there's only one question on everyone's mind - Will he accept tips? The lads consider where they'd hide if they were the subjects of a nationwide manhunt, and Darren reveals his reluctance to leave Dublin, even at the expense of his own life. Joe once again claims he'd last in a UFC fight by running laps of the ring, and they both make quick work of a question about the ideal ratio for hot drinks, and berate the dreaded watery handshake. Send in your questions to StallIt@GoLoudNow.com

We weigh up the best technology to bring with us the stone age, and hear Joe’s take on a particular period in history as he lays out some theories of mushroom inspired communication from the past. Darren gets an education on the powers of various saints, and picks his own favourite from the canonised crowd. There is a twist in the tale of the now, partially hostage, food truck, and we at long last get the big reveal of what Joe will be selling on his path to becoming a fast food magnate. Meanwhile, Darren’s patenting a very particular kind of cheese, and all of this food business has turned Joe into a real man. And there’s animal talk, from cursing parrots, to cuddly peacocks, and foxes with the zoomies.

We return to the bonus episode with more on Darren’s new found taste for jumping through windows, which has now escalated to kicking beds. We hear about Joe’s views on climbing Mount Everest, and if it is an impressive feat or not, and hang-gliding across the breadth of Dublin city centre. We get the big reveal on the food truck, and there’s much thought given to which celebrity most deserves a punch in the face.

Darren and Joe return to the studio after the success of the live show, and bring with them talk of bizarre CIA mind games, intriguing subcultures, and student revolts against the faculty. There's of course plenty of talk of the live show, from human centipede jokes to a rush to take home some Barry Keoghan cardboard cut outs, and Joe's strange encounters in the show's aftermath.

Maybe Joe's crystal has some power after all, seeing as both the lads have enjoyed two big weeks - Joe has wrapped shooting on his short film which he hopes will shine a spotlight on a part of our recent past that often gets ignored and Darren has stepped into a spotlight of his own after being crowned Dublin's Best Celebrity. Gracious enough to still grant us with his time after his big win, Darren tells us all about the night, which included his first ever trip to Coppers and a potential foray into politics. Joe reveals the content of his pockets includes but is not limited to 5 sets of keys, a door knob and a poker chip. And Darren explains why he got more Easter eggs than Joe's kids did.

There’s a tug of war afoot between factions of the Stall It audience this week, as the supporters of Joe lock horns with those who object to some of his most recent claims. And a brain buster about sneaky home invasion pranks leads to (much) talk of jumping through windows at 3am, postcards from the future and a haunted bathroom mirror.

Joe’s tales of crystals and their magic powers returns but it’s coming up against some opposition this week, and he has a fight on his hands to win over the crowd. However, he has won over one local cat, who appears to be drawn to the high vibrations inside Joe’s house. There’s a lesson on quantum physics for Darren, some theories on “the sound of the universe”, and a disappointing (for Darren) crash course in Egyptian history. As Darren finds himself nominated as one of Dublin’s most loved celebrity we ask if the idea of him becoming Mayor of Dublin is really that far-fetched? And once he’s in the Mansion House, how would Darren spend his year in the big job?

You come to us for advice this week, as we offer guidance on navigating a potential combustible conflict around a bike and a door; assess a proposed route for Darren to get into heaven; debate the pronunciation of icebergers; analyse a call for mass surveillance of the restaurant industry, and we hear a very odd tale of a very odd late night encounter from one listener.

Darren arrives to record the podcast all shook up after a trip to the doctors quickly turned into a scene from Venom, not helped by his general feelings of confusion caused by watching Jedward eating a roast dinner at 10pm on a Tuesday. Joe descends into the glittering world of all things crystals and emerges with a supposed piece of a meteor to help improve his mood and give him a more positive outlook. It doesn't stop him from getting into a row though after he slips up on Mother's Day. The two lads also brainstorm ideas for a potential Worst Film of the Year winner but can only come up with Oscar worthy ideas, and they wonder whether Ireland's latest Oscar winner, Cillian Murphy, is as aloof as he may seem. Although, with their track record of embarrassing interactions with celebrities, they may not want to meet him even if they could.

One of our listeners treats us to a particularly cinematic gift this week, which somehow leads to Joe making big claims about cloning, and Darren telling tall tales about tractors. The lads are introduced to a new geographical term, and an education on the history of Ireland's most famous graveyard. We have questions about quizzes, and urban legends about gameshow mishaps. And a listener comes for Joe over a big, and seemingly inaccurate, claim he made about a very significant foodstuff.

Joe's really done it this time - He's bought a food truck! But, it's too big for his garden and too heavy for his car to pull so whether his mystery food venture will be up and running in time for the live show on the 6th of April remains to be seen. The discussion sparks a memory for Darren about a unique breakfast location in Finglas during his childhood and Joe talks about his recent trip to a cafe with it's own unique selling point of making all decorative memorabilia themselves. The various days of celebration at the creche frustrate Joe and teach Darren about the latest children's cartoons and might even encourage him to read a new book. Buy tickets to the live show on Ticketmaster now!

Were you to live life as the owner of a dog-sized insect, which species of creepy crawly would you choose as your companion? We spend an unreasonable amount of time exploring the many potential pitfalls of life as the custodian of giant snails, bees and flies. We also discuss the hairstyles of history's most famous vampires, from Dracula to Count Duckula. There's a discussion on the lesser known Baldwin brothers, and consideration given to the scourge of ghost-on-ghost crime.