That Checks Out

The guys discuss when a $35 t-shirt and front row seats can’t guarantee a laugh, how buying a gorilla at a Halloween party will get you prison time, and why a hot glue gun and a dream is detrimental to the battery industry.

The guys discuss when a pizza place is “kinda closed” right now, how when a wife misses her husband (6 times) it results in a huge headache, and why you should never prematurely terminate a hunt for lost chop sticks.

The guys discuss how lack of regular physical exertion can lead to a trifecta of near death experiences, when a trip to Canada can get you in an ambulance and the Guinness World Record Book, and why Coca-Cola and endless hams leads to gator obesity.

The guys discuss exactly what is the most important item to pack when skydiving, why having an opinion while working retail in Scotland requires wearing a helmet, and how if 2 sailors can scrape up a sign no title is necessary to transfer ownership of a WWII submarine.

The guys discuss why all Mountain Dew should be opened by day 29, how owning a boat directly relates to an endless supply of free goats, and when a “First Name” salutation assures an effective recruitment campaign.

The guys discuss how to enjoy a meal on an unstable surface, when violating a statue makes you fertile, and why a brown notebook can literally halt the waffle distribution in Tennessee.

The guys discuss how the calendar can dictate entertainment, why it’s important to jump ahead almost an hour today, and when you realize you’ve been had knowing you sometimes just gotta sing along.

The guys discuss how smoking in birdcages is next to impossible yet eating a sandwich is not, why being a healthy Frolfer makes you way more popular during wedding season, and when removing your wide-brimmed hat assures you a free fifty pound Tarpon.

The guys discuss how Damon’s saved soul qualifies him as a hero, when “six to a stick” is the only acceptable measurement for a green coaster on your table, and why turtle tunnels are essential in preventing train derailment.

The discuss how flexible scheduling only guarantees frustration and not employment, why they will never put ATMs in funeral homes, and when a dog tossed over the fence to a polar bear will definitely be be caught with left hand and get you free admission.

The guys discuss how a pizza party makes every bank robbery more memorable, why swimming with pants on is imperative when you have a shellfish allergy, and when it’s justified to shoot a bear with an “alleged” drug problem.

The guys discuss what’s the actual probability of being shot at 300 yards by a girthy bush, why you would never brag about the 30 acres you inherited from your Uncle Roland, and how path proximity is crucial when sounding the alarm for the leash police.

The guys discuss who really benefits from having a fake family member at times, why a departed loved one should only expect a heavenly high five, and how a reckless semi driver can unknowingly reach hero status in the wake of his chaos.

The guys discuss how you never use the first beak when pulling an accurate measurement, why you can't expect 145 tons of black market chicken to be any cooler than room temperature, and when is the ONLY TIME you'll ever hear a mourner say "we're all better off". instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdt facebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandted Recorded at Audiohive Podcasting Hosted on Transistor.fm

The guys discuss why choosing the correct prison activity can definitely change your sentence, how the lower your avocados hang the thicker your guacamole gets, and where your pizza literally comes out of the oven hot as lava. instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdt facebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandted Recorded at Audiohive Podcasting Hosted on Transistor.fm

The guys discuss how timing is everything when it comes to a pebble exchange, why there’s so much collateral damage with Damon’s misdirected wishes, and when is the appropriate time to report a pee-soaked neck pillow. instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdt facebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandted Recorded at Audiohive Podcasting Hosted on Transistor.fm

The guys discuss when it is most important to wake up early in Finland, why someone telling you how hot your mom was leads to and early 80’s Rampage, and how death metal was monumental in the 1880’s to detour men from hosiery and booze. instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdt facebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandted Recorded at Audiohive Podcasting Hosted on Transistor.fm

The guys discuss why it’s fiscally responsible to always know where your driveway is, what makes the first 60 seconds of a random Central Florida garage sale so dangerous, and when showing “kindness” to your neighbors can get you life in prison. instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdt facebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandted Recorded at Audiohive Podcasting Hosted on Transistor.fm

The guys discuss when a wafflestomp proves you did not cheat at Chinese Chess, how Canadians simply do not tolerate pretend witchcraft, and why having a mullet and an unpopular last name will get your bread an end cap display at your local grocer. instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdt facebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandted Recorded at Audiohive Podcasting Hosted on Transistor.fm

The guys discuss when 25 minutes means it’s time to drop the purse and start the car, how wood testosterone is 17% greater than ball testosterone, and why holiday eye contact is so imperative in avoiding wang fractures. instagram.com/thatchecksoutwdt facebook.com/thatchecksoutwithdamonandted Recorded at Audiohive Podcasting Hosted on Transistor.fm