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The Death Panel


A podcast about issues. Find out more at

A podcast about issues. Find out more at


United States


A podcast about issues. Find out more at




February 2013 - Thora Birch's Creepy Dad

Our panelists discuss economic catastrophe, space rock catastrophe, soft-core porn catastrophe, papal catastrophe, and just what's up with Thora Birch's creepy parents. Which, in itself, is kind of a catastrophe. Plus, we compete to see who can name that tune!


January 2013 - Joan Cusack's Plastic Wig

Our panelists discuss the future of despised video game franchises, the future of wars between the stars, the future of women in combat, the future of Pitfall Harry, and the future of the Snapple lady


November 2012 - Kristen Stewart's Lesbian Appeal

Our panelists discuss watery pecs, Gary Glitter danger, artificial cupcakes, the incredible value of the WiiU, and machines that like to watch.


October 2012 - Rae Dawn Chong's Silver Fox

Our panelists discuss superstorms, drinking their own fluids, flesh recipes, replacing the dead with the freckled and handsome, navigating corn mazes, poking the gods in the eyes, and when pranks go wrong.


January 2012 - Vincent Gallo's Bug Penis

Our panelists review their predictions from the beginning of 2011 and laugh in the face of defeat by making all-new predictions about 2012. Plus, they compete to see who can correctly fuck, marry, or kill ALF, Captain Picard, and War Horse.


September 2011 - Ernest Borgnine's Secret Handshake

Our panelists discuss the Republican presidential race, the potential value of Netflix pornography, which ghost moms are worth a second look, exciting updates from the world of post-pubescent hypnotism, beautiful Irish sex lives, and a horror film called Nell.


August 2011 - Gianna Michaels' Hairline

Our panelists discuss the devastatingly mundane D.C. earthquake, the odds Steve Jobs will be replaced by a cross-dressing dictator, the eerie necklessness of Gov. Rick Perry, airborne urine, Conan the barbarian, 9/11, the epic battle of Magneto versus Flubber, the nature of dubstep, and how to buy a hamster.


July 2011 - Warren Buffett's Cheeseburger in Paradise

Our panelists discuss the news of the News of the World. Plus, the meaning of the debt ceiling, whether or not Swiss rodents come better in pairs, the murderous nature of Captain America, tiger-suited congressmen on the prowl, the relative merits of rocket boots, and pubic grooming.


July 2011 Special - Paul Provenza's Rape Fantasies

Regular panelists Brian Thompson, Christian Walters, and Doctor Atlantis are joined by Paul Provenza, Jamie Kilstein, Dan Dion, Gary Stockdale, and Emory Emory in this special live episode of The Death Panel from high above beautiful Las Vegas, California. Things get a little rapey.


June 2011 - Donny Osmond's Magic Flowbee

Our panelists discuss the creeping replicant problem in the world's pop music. Plus, we ponder how the Amish can commit techno-sex crimes, expose online lesbians for the shams they really are, prepare ourselves for a Mormon president, bat around ideas for bondage play, analyze dreams about living skeletons, suggests methods for killing a person instantly, and blow the lid wide open on this Freemasonry business.


May 2011 - Arnold Schwarzenegger's Pecs and Gut

Our panelists discuss the completely non-criminal world of international finance. Plus, we explore the plight of Nazi filmmakers, wonder why beautiful rappers would visit the White House, theorize about the kind of pornography found in Osama bin Laden's bunker, explore the implications of Arnold Schwarzenegger's wandering seed, and definitively answer your questions about the afterlife.


April 2011 - Margot Kidder's Dental Work

Our panelists discuss the horrors of the impending U.S. presidential race. Plus, we dive deep into the mysteries of the British language, lament the inattentiveness of our wedding-crazed media, explore the joys of throwing balls for fun, ask when is the right time to tell our children about man-on-man action, look for Lois Lane in the bushes, and ponder what kinds of liquids could fit in a Glade air freshener.


March 2011 - Bill Pullman's Fugue State

Our panelists discuss mean, horrible, nasty, no good creatures like the Gingrich. Plus, we reveal our spring wedding guide, complain about your children being all over your Facebook page, ponder the riddles of David Lynch's Duran Duran concert, give advice on how to avoid bears, and talk to a real Canadian about living in an upside-down metric world. (Show notes at


February 2011 - Yaphet Kotto's Death Star Run

Our panelists discuss flaming hot Columbian districts, the uncertain future of a land ruled by mummies, humanity's place in a world ruled by machines, our predictions for the 83rd annual Academy Awards, corning huskies, sticky hands, and the resurrection of the woolly mammoth. (Show notes at


January 2011 - Angela Merkel's Vajazzle

Our panelists discuss their predictions for 2011 and score their predictions for 2010. Will Barbara Walters fall victim to the Hollywood Star Whackers? Will Vladimir Putin get a Brazilian? Will a famous racist finally attack China? Will sex education die with the birds and bees? Will lobsters finally win the right to vote? Judging by our past precognitive successes, probably not.


December 2010 - Percy Jackson's Ghost Dad

Our panelists discuss leaking information, the ultimate fate of your dead pets, the super future of pornography, "liking" and "poking" your "Facebooks", the relative merits of plate tectonics versus the Aurora Borealis, swinger etiquette, and backward clothes.


November 2010 - Sandy Duncan's Treasure Map

Our panelists discuss the state of children's toys and sex organs in San Francisco, the rising threat of zombies and Pogz, the world economic and youth culture implications of Harry Potter's end, the relative merits of Ernest Hemingway's beard versus a T-Rex's useless baby arms, Malaysian ethnic slurs, and the treasure map on Sandy Duncan's glass eye.