Shades of Strong® | Strength Without Struggle for Black Women

At 56 years old, I’m walking into a Black woman’s dream I’ve carried for decades — sitting in New York, preparing to speak with agents and an editor from one of the Big Five publishing houses… about my book. This moment didn’t come fast, but it came faithfully.And in this short, heartfelt episode, I’m reflecting on what it means to finally say yes to the calling — after years of wrestling, resisting, and wondering if it was too late. Because this isn’t just about publishing a book.It’s about legacy.It’s about healing.It’s about breaking patterns for every Black woman who’s ever whispered, “I don’t want to be strong anymore.” So if you’ve ever questioned the timing of your dream…If you’ve ever felt like you missed your moment…This episode is a gentle reminder that what’s for you is still for you.It may be delayed — but it is never denied. This is a Black woman’s dream.Delayed, yes.But still divine. Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

We say it all the time — check on your strong friend — but do we really know what that means? In this Support Snippet, Shirl goes deeper than the surface-level reminder and speaks directly to what it looks like when strong Black women go quiet. When the one who always holds everyone else down suddenly pulls back. When the “I’m fine” doesn’t really mean fine anymore. If you’re the strong one, or you love someone who is, this short but powerful episode will help you think differently about how support shows up, who it’s for, and what’s hiding in the silence after we stop over-functioning. Because here’s the truth: The strong friend gets tired too. And when she stops showing up the way she always has — it’s not drama. It’s a signal. In this episode, you’ll hear: What it really means to check on your strong friend Why many strong Black women feel invisible when they stop doing The emotional weight of being “the dependable one” How silence can signal the need for support A gentle reminder that strong women deserve to be held too Whether you’ve been the strong friend, ignored the strong friend, or realized that you are the strong friend… this conversation is for you. Because shifting from being a strong Black woman to being a supported Black woman?That’s the real work.And it starts with noticing. Need space to unpack your own strong friend fatigue? Shirl is holding space for Black women who are ready to rest, reflect, and receive support without guilt.Book a 1:1 Support Session HERE. Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Are you tired of being the strong one? The one everyone depends on but rarely checks in with? That's what we're getting into today... ewhat happens after you finally lay that weight down — when you stop over-functioning, stop fixing, stop pretending you’re okay... and the phone stops ringing. What happens when you finally stop?When you set the boundary? When you pause the all the doing? It’s quiet. But instead of peace, you’re sitting in discomfort. Maybe even grief.Because what shows up after the pause — that silence, that stillness — can feel personal. In this episode, I’m talking about the uncomfortable part of rest.The identity crisis that shows up when you’re no longer being needed every day.And the emotional shift that happens when you’ve built your worth on being dependable — and now you’re not sure who you are without it. If you’ve ever said, “I’m tired of being the strong one,” this episode will hit home. I'm diving into what it feels like to stop over-functioning, to rest, and to wrestle with who you are when being needed isn’t your identity anymore. If You’re Tired of Being the Strong One, Here’s What You’ll Hear: Why rest can feel like grief when your identity was built around being needed What it really feels like to stop over-functioning The weight of being invisible when you stop doing everything What the “but then what?” moment reveals about your support needs Why the pause is not failure — it’s the beginning of your becoming If you’ve been asking yourself: Who am I if I’m not the strong one anymore? Why do I feel so off when I finally rest? What if nobody notices I’ve stopped showing up? This episode is for you. And if you’re sitting in that “but then what?” space — and it feels like too much to carry alone, let me hold space for you in a 1:1 Support Session. These sessions aren’t about fixing. They’re about slowing down and making room for the version of you who’s ready to be held too. Book Your Support Session HERE . Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Sometimes the support we need doesn’t come with a loud arrival or a clear answer. Sometimes, it shows up in the in-between. The pause. The waiting. The quiet moments where nothing feels certain — but you’re still held. In today’s reflection, we explore what support can look like when you don’t have the words yet. When things feel unclear. When you’re sitting in the fog, trying not to force clarity. This is about honoring the space between prayers and answers, effort and outcome. The pause is not a void. It’s a form of support too. Whether you're resting, questioning, or just catching your breath, you’re not alone in that pause. This episode holds space for the Black woman who’s doing her best to trust what she can’t yet see — and still deserves to be supported right now. Listen in and share this with someone who needs to know she doesn’t have to be “on” all the time to be worthy of support. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well When You're All You've Got

You’ve put down strong. You’ve tried the self-care Sundays, the soft life rituals, the silence and the scented candles. But somehow, you still feel like you’re holding it all by yourself. In this episode of Shades of Strong, Shirl unpacks why self-care and softness — while nourishing — were never meant to replace real support. She breaks down the difference between comfort and being held, and shares why so many Black women are left feeling unsupported even while doing all the “right” things to care for themselves. You’ll hear: Why soft life vibes can feel good, but still leave you depleted The pacifier metaphor that will shift how you see comfort vs. support How Support Languages offer a deeper way to receive the care you actually need What happens when we grieve the strong Black woman identity but don’t replace it with anything real And how we can honor our mothers and grandmothers by choosing differently This is a loving call-in — not to abandon softness, but to go deeper than what looks good on the surface. If you’ve ever felt like self-care just wasn’t cutting it anymore, this conversation is for you. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well When You're All You've Got

This week on Shades of Strong, we’re going all the way in. I'm sitting down with Dr. Cecily Moore for a raw, layered conversation about what it really costs to carry the “strong Black woman” narrative — and what it actually takes to start living well, for real. Dr. Cecily brings her lived experience, research, and wisdom to the table as we talk about the exhaustion, the generational weight, and how so many of us are ready to put it all down. Together, we unpack: What the “strong Black woman” narrative steals from us, and why so many are finally saying, “I don’t want to do it like this anymore.” How wellness for Black women is not just individual, but communal — when a Black woman is well, everybody connected to her benefits. The emotional and cultural impact of being expected to serve, sacrifice, and hold it together — even when you’re falling apart on the inside. Why self-advocacy, boundaries, and true support are non-negotiable for our healing (and what it actually looks like in everyday life). The church, the workplace, the family — where the strong Black woman myth keeps showing up, and how we’re learning to question it. How unlearning strength-as-sacrifice is an act of resistance and the beginning of generational healing. You’ll also hear personal stories — from both Dr. Cecily and myself— about what it feels like to try to be “everything to everybody,” the grief that comes with letting that go, and the joy that’s possible on the other side. If you’re a Black woman who’s ever felt like your well-being is always last on the list, this one is for you. And if you care about Black women, it’s for you too. About Dr. Cecily Moore Dr. Cecily Moore helps therapists, counselors, and helping professionals unlearn the Strong Black Woman narrative so they can move from survival mode into sustainable wellness. She’s a licensed therapist, educator, researcher, and the creator of the Reappropriate, Redefine, Recover™ framework — guiding Black women toward nervous system healing, spaciousness, and self-reclamation. Cecily is a military wife, a mom of two, and she’s never met a Strong Black Woman she couldn’t help begin the journey of unlearning that sh*t. Connect with Dr. Cecily Moore here. Timestamps – What You’ll Hear and When: 00:00 – Intro & Why This Conversation Matters 06:20 – Dr. Cecily’s Story: Postpartum Depression and the Cost of Strength 10:25 – Generational Strength: Grandma, Mama, and Us 15:50 – Research, Lived Experience, and the Grief of Unlearning "Strong" 17:20 – The Support Language Behind the Therapist Chair 21:31 – The Pacifier Metaphor: Replacing "Strong" with Support 24:54 – Watching Her Learn to Rest: Dr. Cecily’s Mom and the Reclamation of Joy 28:06 – Church, Faith, and the Conditioning of "Strong" 36:18 – When Strength Is Rooted in Fear: Mothering Black Boys 41:15 – Receiving as a Skill: Support Languages and Accessibility 49:00 – Final Words: Unlearning "Strong" as a Mental Health Intervention Resources to Support You: Download Cecily’s Free Audio + Mindset guide: Unlearn That Sh*t Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes When You're All You've Got

So earlier this week I talked about what it feels like when you don’t have anybody to reach for. But what about when folks are around — and you still feel alone? That’s a whole different kind of grief. This episode is about that space. The space where people love you, but they don’t really see you. Where the help is supposed to be there… but somehow, you’re still carrying it all. If you’ve ever looked around and thought, “Why does no one notice how much I’m holding?” — this one’s for you. What You’ll Hear in This Episode: What Being Seen feels like when it’s missing How to stop swallowing that quiet grief Real talk about what support really requires Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes When You're All You've Got Learning to Hold Yourself When No One Else Does When Everything Feels Heavy

What does receiving support as a Black woman look like when there’s no one to call, no one to reach for, and no one checking in on you? In this episode, we're getting real about what it means to be your own support system when you’re literally all you’ve got. Not because you’re too proud to ask. Not because people keep letting you down. But because the support just isn’t there. I share my personal story of navigating lonely seasons, the grief that comes from having no one to lean on, and how I learned to show up for myself in the meantime. But I also speak to the ache — the soul-deep longing to be supported for real. This episode is not about pretending it’s okay. It’s about naming what’s hard, holding space for it, and finding tenderness even in the absence. What You’ll Hear in This Episode: The grief of not having anyone to reach for The difference between being strong and being supported What receiving support as a Black woman looks like without a support system The small but powerful ways grace held her through it How to start with what’s real, even when it's not enough Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Learning to Hold Yourself When No One Else Does When Everything Feels Heavy

The world is a lot right now. Some weeks feel heavier than others, and this has been one of those weeks. I wasn’t about to just move like nothing was happening, so I came to the mic to sit with it for a minute. So let's pause, take a deep breath, and remind ourselves what it feels like to held. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

Have you ever rewritten the same text five times just to make sure it didn’t sound too harsh? Ever softened your “no” so it wouldn’t feel like rejection? Ever held back your truth to avoid being called “too much”? Yeah… me too. In this episode, I’m naming the emotional labor Black women carry just to be seen as “easy.” I’m talking about the constant back-bending, the tiptoeing, the fear of being left — and how all of that is tied to the way we’ve been conditioned to over-care. I talk about the fear of being misunderstood, the pressure to be liked, the desire not to make things weird. I share what it looked like for me to stop bending, stop rewriting, and stop managing everyone else’s comfort just so I wouldn’t be left. We explore the weight of emotional labor — how it shows up in our texts, our boundaries, and the ways we shrink ourselves to stay connected. And I offer a truth that might be hard to sit with: support that costs you your peace isn’t really support. This one is for the Black woman who’s tired of carrying everyone else’s reactions. Because support should feel like ease — not emotional gymnastics. And emotional labor and support are not the same thing. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

What do you do when you need to fall apart… but there’s no one there to hold you? This Support Snippet is me sitting with that exact question — and remembering what emotional care looked like back when I didn’t have to ask for it I’m reflecting on what emotional care looked like before life got complicated — and what it means to create that kind of care for yourself now. I’m taking you back to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches made with intention, quiet afternoons that felt like exhaling, and the kind of support that didn’t require me to be okay first. No fixing. No pressure. Just presence. These days, I’m the one everyone leans on — and maybe you are too. So I’m also naming what it feels like to carry that weight quietly, especially as a Black woman, and what it means to admit you still need to be held. If you’ve been moving through your days on autopilot, missing the kind of care you didn’t have to ask for, this episode is for you. Because emotional care for Black women isn’t optional. It’s necessary.And we shouldn’t have to hold it all in just because nobody’s offering to hold us. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

For so many Black women, emotional safety started in the kitchen. The smell of Blue Magic, the sizzle of a straightening comb, the sound of “Hold your ear” — those weren’t just routines. They were rituals. In that chair by the stove, we found connection, care, and permission to let our guards down. Those moments — ordinary as they seemed — were often the first time emotional safety showed up for us.We didn’t always have the words for it back then, but we felt it. And these aren’t just memories. They’re reminders.Reminders that emotional safety is still possible, even if it looks different now. For Black women navigating life without those small sacred spaces, this episode is an invitation:To name the need.To remember you still deserve to be held.And to reclaim the truth that emotional safety isn’t new — it’s something we’ve known in our bones all along. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

When we talk about loyalty, most of us think about relationships, family, or friendships. But there’s another kind of loyalty we don’t talk about enough — our loyalty to struggle. As Black women, we’ve been taught that struggle is part of who we are. That staying in relationships, jobs, or communities that drain us somehow proves our strength. That choosing ease means we’re abandoning our people, our roots, or our role as the “strong one.” Choosinng suppot is not about abandoning your people or being selfish. It’s about telling the truth: you don't owe struggle your loyalty and staying in struggle is costing you more than leaving ever will. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

We love to romanticize Ruth and Boaz like it’s the ultimate love story — but what if it’s really a story about being supported... for once? In this first episode back after my summer break, I’m digging into the part church never talked about: the quiet power of being chosen without earning it, being cared for without proving you deserve it, and receiving without struggle. This episode isn’t about marriage or fairy tale endings — it’s about softness, legacy, and what happens when you position yourself to be supported... and then pass that support down. In this episode I share:• Why support is often missing in the way the church teaches Ruth’s story• What Ruth teaches us about positioning ourselves to be supported• Why Boaz’s role wasn’t savior — it was support• What it looks like to pass support down through generations Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

Let’s talk about protecting your peace — and whether that’s really what you’re doing… or if you’re just getting your lick back in silence. In this minisode, I’m breaking down the Room to Breathe Support Language™ — the kind of support that shows up as space, quiet, and the ability to step away without guilt. But I’m also naming the moments when we call it “protecting our peace,” and it’s really a low-key way of making somebody else feel the pain we didn’t say out loud. I even share a moment with my therapist that made me pause and ask myself if I was healing — or just withholding. If Room to Breathe is your Support Language, or if you’ve ever needed space but didn’t quite know how to take it without using it as a shield, this episode is for you. This episode is a reminder that space is sacred — but only when it's rooted in care, not control. You don’t have to go silent to feel safe. You can protect your peace and still stay connected to the people who love you right. Take your time. Take your breath. Just be honest about why you need it. In this episode, I talk about: What Room to Breathe actually looks like When silence becomes a weapon instead of self-care That one therapy session I’ll never forget Why relief isn’t the same as revenge How to know when your peace is real and when it’s rooted in proving Resources to Support You: Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

I’m just gonna say it — I get annoyed when I see Black women using the phrase “women of color” when I know they mean Black women. In this episode, I’m talking about why that bothers me, where I think it comes from, and what it’s actually costing us to keep softening, shrinking, or diluting our language — especially in spaces that are supposed to be built for us. I share a recent moment that made me want to reflect out loud. Not to be messy, but because I think it’s time we talk about what happens when we keep trying to make ourselves more acceptable — even in our own healing work. This isn’t about being divisive.It’s about being clear.Because when we say Black women, we’re not excluding anybody — we’re finally being honest. Resources to Support You: Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

They told us love was supposed to be everything. That if somebody loves you, that’s all you need. But how many times have you felt loved… and still felt completely alone? In this episode, I’m talking about that gap — the one between what people say and what they actually do. Because the truth is, love is not enough when it doesn’t come with support. And I get it. It’s hard to admit that out loud.Especially when you know they care.Especially when they say the right things. But if you’re still carrying everything by yourself…If you can’t fall apart without it turning into a problem…If you can’t rest without guilt or breathe without feeling like a burden…Then it’s time to get honest about what’s really missing. So if you’ve ever felt like something was off in a relationship — even when love was present — you’re not crazy. You’re not needy. You’re not asking for too much.You’re just finally telling the truth about what you actually need. And the truth is: love without support will never be enough. Let’s talk about it.Let’s talk about the difference between being told you matter — and being treated like you do. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

Inspired by the new Netflix series Forever, this Mother's Day episode is a soft but honest conversation about what happens when fear leads the way in parenting. When love is present, but support… isn’t. This isn’t a recap.This is a reflection. Because a lot of us were raised on protection that looked like pressure. On expectations that felt like love, but left little room to breathe. And now, many of us are trying to re-parent ourselves while still holding space for the mamas who did the best they could with what they had. This episode isn’t about blame — it’s about truth.It’s about naming what was missing and choosing to offer ourselves something different.It’s about parenting — our children and our inner child — from trust instead of fear. If today feels complicated, this one's for you. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

Today we’re talking about support yourself during the hard seasons—and what it looks like when you have to be your own safe place. Some seasons are heavy.Some days, getting out of bed feels like a miracle.Some days, breathing through the next hour is the biggest victory you’ll claim. In this episode, I’m sharing what support looks like when you’re in the thick of a thing — when there’s no map, no quick fix, and no easy way to name the weight you’re carrying. We’re sitting with the real and the raw: How support can mean letting yourself fall apart without rushing the cleanup. How being your own safe place might be the softest, hardest thing you do all day. How support during hard seasons often starts with giving yourself permission to not be okay. If you’re in a season where life feels too heavy to dress up in pretty words...If you’re breathing your way through sadness, loneliness, or silent grief...If you’re learning how to stay soft with yourself when the world expects you to be hard... This isn’t a how-to guide.It’s not a motivational pep talk.It’s a soft landing.A real-time reflection.A slow, sacred breath in the middle of the storm. Because even in the thick of a thing, even when you feel like you’re falling apart, you are still worthy of support — especially your own. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

Today we're talking about receiving support as a Black woman—and why it still feels hard, even when it’s soft and real. What happens when someone shows up for you with tenderness and care… and your first instinct is to flinch? What do you do when support is being offered—but your body doesn’t know how to let it in? This episode started with a comment from my daughter…And what should’ve felt like joy, pride, even gratitude—turned into hesitation. Doubt. A quiet refusal to receive. So today, we’re getting into the deep, unspoken patterns around receiving support as a Black woman—especially when you’ve been conditioned to be the strong one, the giver, the safe space for everybody else. We’re talking about the ways emotional safety and mindful care can still feel like a threat, even when we want them. How support can feel unfamiliar.How softness can feel suspicious.And how healing often starts with noticing the moment you want to push it all away. If your Support Language is Emotional Safety or Mindful Care, this one might speak directly to your nervous system.Because this episode isn’t about “being open.”It’s about building the capacity to receive—slowly, gently, without guilt. So if you’ve ever felt yourself shrink when someone tried to hold you,If you’ve ever pushed love away before it could land,If you’re still learning what it means to feel safe in softness… This is your invitation to start again.To be held—without apology.One quiet moment at a time. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com