Shades of Strong® | Strength Without Struggle for Black Women

They told us love was supposed to be everything. That if somebody loves you, that’s all you need. But how many times have you felt loved… and still felt completely alone? In this episode, I’m talking about that gap — the one between what people say and what they actually do. Because the truth is, love is not enough when it doesn’t come with support. And I get it. It’s hard to admit that out loud.Especially when you know they care.Especially when they say the right things. But if you’re still carrying everything by yourself…If you can’t fall apart without it turning into a problem…If you can’t rest without guilt or breathe without feeling like a burden…Then it’s time to get honest about what’s really missing. So if you’ve ever felt like something was off in a relationship — even when love was present — you’re not crazy. You’re not needy. You’re not asking for too much.You’re just finally telling the truth about what you actually need. And the truth is: love without support will never be enough. Let’s talk about it.Let’s talk about the difference between being told you matter — and being treated like you do. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

Inspired by the new Netflix series Forever, this Mother's Day episode is a soft but honest conversation about what happens when fear leads the way in parenting. When love is present, but support… isn’t. This isn’t a recap.This is a reflection. Because a lot of us were raised on protection that looked like pressure. On expectations that felt like love, but left little room to breathe. And now, many of us are trying to re-parent ourselves while still holding space for the mamas who did the best they could with what they had. This episode isn’t about blame — it’s about truth.It’s about naming what was missing and choosing to offer ourselves something different.It’s about parenting — our children and our inner child — from trust instead of fear. If today feels complicated, this one's for you. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

Today we’re talking about support yourself during the hard seasons—and what it looks like when you have to be your own safe place. Some seasons are heavy.Some days, getting out of bed feels like a miracle.Some days, breathing through the next hour is the biggest victory you’ll claim. In this episode, I’m sharing what support looks like when you’re in the thick of a thing — when there’s no map, no quick fix, and no easy way to name the weight you’re carrying. We’re sitting with the real and the raw: How support can mean letting yourself fall apart without rushing the cleanup. How being your own safe place might be the softest, hardest thing you do all day. How support during hard seasons often starts with giving yourself permission to not be okay. If you’re in a season where life feels too heavy to dress up in pretty words...If you’re breathing your way through sadness, loneliness, or silent grief...If you’re learning how to stay soft with yourself when the world expects you to be hard... This isn’t a how-to guide.It’s not a motivational pep talk.It’s a soft landing.A real-time reflection.A slow, sacred breath in the middle of the storm. Because even in the thick of a thing, even when you feel like you’re falling apart, you are still worthy of support — especially your own. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

Today we're talking about receiving support as a Black woman—and why it still feels hard, even when it’s soft and real. What happens when someone shows up for you with tenderness and care… and your first instinct is to flinch? What do you do when support is being offered—but your body doesn’t know how to let it in? This episode started with a comment from my daughter…And what should’ve felt like joy, pride, even gratitude—turned into hesitation. Doubt. A quiet refusal to receive. So today, we’re getting into the deep, unspoken patterns around receiving support as a Black woman—especially when you’ve been conditioned to be the strong one, the giver, the safe space for everybody else. We’re talking about the ways emotional safety and mindful care can still feel like a threat, even when we want them. How support can feel unfamiliar.How softness can feel suspicious.And how healing often starts with noticing the moment you want to push it all away. If your Support Language is Emotional Safety or Mindful Care, this one might speak directly to your nervous system.Because this episode isn’t about “being open.”It’s about building the capacity to receive—slowly, gently, without guilt. So if you’ve ever felt yourself shrink when someone tried to hold you,If you’ve ever pushed love away before it could land,If you’re still learning what it means to feel safe in softness… This is your invitation to start again.To be held—without apology.One quiet moment at a time. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

Some days the weight is real, and you’re too tired to carry it, explain it, or make it sound better than it is. For the days when the tears come outta nowhere and your body says, “we can’t keep doing this”... This is a quiet reminder that you don’t owe anyone a breakdown of why you need rest. You don’t have to clean up your exhaustion or justify your pause. You get to be tired. You get to slow down. You get to be held without performing for it. If you’ve been feeling stretched, overextended, or quietly unraveling… this one’s for you. Take what you need, and leave the rest. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

Let’s talk about emotional exhaustion as a Black woman—and what it really means to be held. What if being held didn’t require you to fall apart first? What if it was something you could reach for before you hit the breaking point? This episode was recorded at five o’clock in the morning… no mic, no script, no prep—just me, a heavy heart, and a whole lot of truth. Because sometimes the softest, most honest thing you can do is show up exactly as you are, while you're still sitting in the weight of it. We’re talking about the quiet kind of emotional exhaustion—the kind that creeps in when you’ve been moving for so long, you forget what it feels like to ask yourself what you need. The kind that convinces you being held is too much to ask for. And if your primary Support Language is Emotional Safety…this one might hit extra deep.Because it’s hard to let yourself be held when you’ve spent your whole life being the safe space for everybody else. This one’s not about fixing it.It’s not about pushing through.It’s about pausing long enough to say,“I don’t have to perform today.” So if you’ve been carrying more than your share, if the emotional exhaustion is starting to feel like your normal—this episode is an invitation to come home to yourself. One soft moment at a time. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

What if strength didn’t always have to come after the storm? In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re unpacking what it means to embrace both joy and struggle—without letting one cancel out the other. Because too often as Black women, are taught that joy is something we earn after the hard part is over. That it’s the reward, not the right. But what if we flipped the script? In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re unpacking what it means to embrace both joy and struggle as a Black woman—without letting one cancel out the other. Because too often, we’ve been taught that joy is something we earn after the hard part is over. That it’s the reward, not the right. But what if we flipped the script? Inspired by a powerful moment with my granddaughter, I explore how we’ve been conditioned to lead with the hard stuff first—and how that habit is rooted in generations of inherited struggle. But here’s the truth: your life is big enough to hold both. This episode is your reminder that: Joy isn’t selfish. Ease doesn’t mean you’re lazy. You don’t have to brace for the worst before naming what’s good. Whether you’re navigating grief, growth, or just trying to get through the week without falling apart, this one’s for you. If you’ve been struggling with embracing joy and struggle as a Black woman—or if you’ve been waiting for the next shoe to drop every time something good happens—this conversation will feel like a breath of fresh air. Pull up a chair and let’s talk about reclaiming softness, wholeness, and the audacity to lead with joy. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

What does real support in relationships for Black women even look like? Because we know love without support is a thing—and it’s exhausting. This episode is a deep dive into what happens when you start asking for more than love… when you start asking for love that actually holds you — love that actually supports you. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling unseen or unsupported in a relationship, this episode is for you. Because support in relationships for Black women can’t be an afterthought. I’m sharing a story that still sits heavy on my heart—a moment that showed me love isn’t always enough. That moment shaped how I see relationships, and more importantly, how I receive support. You’ll also hear how knowing your Support Language™ can help you: Recognize when someone simply can’t support you Stop accepting the wrong kind of support Ask for what you need with clarity and confidence Because love is a feeling—but support is a practice. And support in relationships for Black women has to be intentional. After you listen, take a minute to reflect:When was the last time you felt fully supported in a relationship—like, truly held? That’s what we’re naming, claiming, and working toward in this episode. 🎧 Tap in and listen now. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack where we’re having real, behind-the-scenes conversations about redefining strength Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

Honoring your capacity is about choosing ease of exhaustion and creating space breathe, reset, and resst. What happens when the strong one needs a minute? This short episode is a reminder that honoring your capacity matters—especially for strong Black women who are always doing the most. If you’ve been pushing through, this one’s for you. This short episode is a reminder that honoring your capacity matters—especially for strong Black women who are always doing the most. I’m talking about what it means to honor your capacity, choose ease, and show up without overextending yourself. And yes, I’m letting you in on what’s been going on behind the scenes—including something I’ve been dreaming about for a long time.If you’ve been pushing through, this one’s for you. So if you’re looking for a gentle nudge to slow down, reflect, and honor your capacity without guilt—you’ll want to listen Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack where we’re having real, behind-the-scenes conversations about redefining strength Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Rate, Review & Follow the Podcast:If this episode speaks to you, send it to a friend and leave a review. That’s how we get more Black women the support they deserve.

Getting support as a Black woman isn’t always as simple as just asking for it. Because let’s be real—how many times have people tried to “support” you, but instead of feeling lighter, you just felt drained, unseen, or misunderstood? That’s because support isn’t one-size-fits-all. There are specific types of support Black women need, but most of us aren’t getting them in the way that actually makes a difference. In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re breaking down the five types of support Black women need—and why so many of us aren’t receiving them. If you’ve ever felt like people mean well but still aren’t showing up in a way that actually helps, this episode is for you. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why support doesn’t always land the way you need it to The five types of support Black women need and how they show up in real life How to stop settling for support that drains you and start getting support that actually fills you up Key Takeaways: Support isn’t just about people being there—it’s about them showing up in a way that actually matters. If you don’t know how you receive support best, it’s easy to feel like you’re always carrying it alone. When you name your Support Language™, you start making room for the kind of support that truly nourishes you. Why This Episode Matters: Black women are often expected to be strong, but real strength isn’t about doing it all alone—it’s about knowing what kind of support actually sustains you. You deserve support that feels like care, not just obligation. Let’s talk about what that looks like. 🎧 Tap in and listen now. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.com

Setting the tone for the week ahead isn’t about rigid schedules or pushing yourself to do more—it’s about easing into the energy you want to carry with you. Before the world starts demanding things from you, take a moment to breathe, regroup, and move with intention. What You’ll Get in This Episode: Why setting the tone for the week ahead shifts how you experience it How flow can be more powerful than force A simple way to step into the new week feeling more grounded Takeaway: You don’t have to force yourself into a rhythm that doesn’t fit. When you let things flow instead of trying to control everything, you make space for alignment to find you. Breathe. Trust. Move when you're ready. Press play and let’s ease into the week together. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.com

Sometimes, even when we know exactly how we best receive support, it’s just not available in the way we need it. And when that happens, it can feel heavy—especially when we don’t know what to do with all that we’re carrying. That’s where I’ve been these last few days. And today, I just want to share a little bit of what I’m learning about holding space for myself when support feels out of reach. If you’ve been struggling to find the support you need, I see you. I feel you. And I hope this episode meets you right where you are. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Take this quick, insightful quiz to uncover how you best receive support. It’s the first step to shifting from struggle-based strength to strength that centers rest, play, and ease. Follow @shadesofstrong on Instagram for you daily dose of affirmations, reminders, and empowering conversations. It’s where sisterhood meets support, helping you release the weight of doing it all alone. www.shadesofstrong.com

Getting Support as a Black Woman often feels like a struggle. You’re managing everything, showing up for everyone, and doing it all with a strength that people celebrate—but what happens when the support you receive still leaves you feeling unseen and unsupported? In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re breaking down what it means to move beyond surface-level help and start getting the kind of support that truly holds you. From understanding the difference between help and support to naming what you need, this episode offers practical steps to help you feel fully supported. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why getting support as a Black woman often feels like settling for less. The emotional toll of receiving help that doesn’t truly meet your needs. The difference between help and support—and why knowing the distinction matters. Actionable ways to name the support that truly makes a difference in your life. Key Takeaways: Help is temporary, but true support ensures you’re never carrying the load alone. Naming your needs is the first step toward getting the kind of support that holds you. Getting support as a Black woman is about more than receiving—it’s about feeling seen and valued. Why This Episode Matters: Black women are often celebrated for their strength while their needs are overlooked. This episode is about breaking free from the cycle of “just enough” and stepping into a space where you’re fully supported, fully seen, and fully valued. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.com

Letting go isn’t always easy—especially when you’ve poured so much of yourself into something. But gripping tightly to an outcome that’s already shifting away will only leave you stuck, frustrated, and drained. This week, we’re releasing the need to control every outcome. No more forcing. No more fighting for what’s already walking away. Instead, we’re making peace with the unfolding and trusting that what’s meant for us will always find us. What You’ll Get in This Episode: A few reasons letting go of outcomes feels so hard Why trying to force what’s already shifting only leads to more struggle A shift in perspective that will help you breathe a little easier this week Takeaway: There is peace in letting go. Holding on too tightly—whether to plans, people, or expectations—can feel like security, but often, it just keeps us stuck. This episode is an invitation to loosen the grip, trust the unfolding, and find peace in what’s already shifting. Because sometimes, the freedom we’re searching for isn’t in getting what we want—it’s in releasing what was never ours to hold. Affirmation for the Week: "This week, I release the need to control every outcome. I trust that what’s meant for me will find me. I find peace in the unfolding." Take a deep breath and press play. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Take this quick, insightful quiz to uncover how you best receive support. It’s the first step to shifting from struggle-based strength to strength that centers rest, play, and ease. Follow @shadesofstrong on Instagram for you daily dose of affirmations, reminders, and empowering conversations. It’s where sisterhood meets support, helping you release the weight of doing it all alone. www.shadesofstrong.com

Black women are often celebrated for their strength, their ability to handle everything, and the way they show up for everyone else. But what happens when you’re left feeling unseen as a Black woman—recognized for what you do, but never for who you are? In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re unpacking the emotional toll of being unseen and exploring what it means to reclaim your visibility. From the exhaustion of always “being on” to the importance of recognizing yourself first, this episode offers tangible ways to step into a space where you’re valued beyond what you give. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why Black women are often seen for their strength but not their softness. How the emotional weight of always “being fine” impacts your well-being. Why being seen starts with recognizing yourself before others can. Simple ways to reclaim your visibility and let others see you, not just what you do. Key Takeaways: Being seen isn’t just about how others treat you—it’s about how you treat yourself. Strength is only part of who you are—you deserve to be seen in your fullness, including your softness and needs. The first step to making sure others see you is ensuring that you see you. Why This Episode Matters: Feeling unseen as a Black woman isn’t just about external validation—it’s a deeply ingrained pattern rooted in generations of being celebrated for labor instead of humanity. This episode is about unlearning the belief that you have to earn your worth and stepping into a space where you are seen, supported, and valued for who you are. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.com

Releasing the pressure to be more means letting go of the idea that you have to earn your worth. The constant striving to do more, be more, or fix yourself only leaves you feeling drained and disconnected. That weight was never yours to carry. It’s time to put down the pressure of chasing, proving, or fixing. Instead, let’s take a moment to regroup and connect with what’s already here. Wholeness isn’t something you achieve - it’s something you remember. What You’ll Get in This Episode: Why releasing the pressure to be more changes everything How groundedness helps you reconnect with your truth A simple way to walk through this week feeling lighter Takeaway: When you release the pressure to be more, you make space to connect with yourself in a deeper, more meaningful way. Wholeness isn’t something you achieve; it’s something you embrace. Nothing is missing, and nothing needs to be earned. Affirmation for the Week: "This week, I walk in my wholeness. I embrace my enoughness. I am complete, just as I am." Take a deep breath and press play. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.com

Reclaiming support for Black women isn’t just about breaking free from society’s expectations—it’s about creating space for what you truly need in your life, relationships, and daily experiences. In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re diving into the top two Support Languages™ that Black women are craving right now: Room to Breathe and Mindful Care. These results from our Support Languages™ quiz are more than just numbers—they’re reflections of the weight we’ve been carrying for far too long. They’re saying, “We deserve space. We deserve care. We deserve to feel human again.” In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why Room to Breathe is about more than just a quiet moment—it’s about emotional, mental, and spiritual space. What Mindful Care looks like in real life and why it’s more than grand gestures. How knowing your Support Language™ helps you build better boundaries and relationships. Why reclaiming support starts with naming what you need and teaching others how to show up for you. Key Takeaways: Support isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Naming your needs is the first step to reclaiming your space and care. Room to Breathe and Mindful Care are about more than society—they’re about how the people closest to you show up (or don’t). Why This Episode Matters For generations, Black women have been the backbone of everything—families, communities, movements. But holding everyone else up often comes at the cost of our own well-being. This episode is an invitation to unlearn the lie that says, “You have to carry it all alone,” and to start reclaiming the support you’ve always deserved. Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.com

When’s the last time you laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe? Or did something just for the fun of it no agenda, no productivity, just joy? This week, we’re calling in play. Life has been doing what life does - keeping us busy, serious, and sometimes stressed, but it doesn’t have to steal our joy. In this short and sweet Soulful Sunday episode, I’m inviting you to: • Reconnect with what makes you laugh, smile, and feel free. • Let go of the idea that play is only for kids. • Find one moment this week to let loose and invite joy back in. Takeaway: You’re not too grown to play. Play is a necessary part of life. It’s how we refill our cups and remind ourselves that life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured. Affirmation for the Week: “This week, I choose joy. I invite laughter, lightness, and play into my life. I deserve to feel free, happy, and whole.” Free Resources: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.com

Emotional support for Black women hits differently when you let go of the "I got it" mindset. Black women carry so much—juggling careers, families, and life while often telling themselves, “I’ve got it.” But what happens when we hold onto the “I can handle it all” mindset for too long? In this week’s episode of the Shades of Strong Podcast, we unpack the emotional toll of doing it all alone and explore how making space for support can transform the way we live, love, and show up in the world. Inspired by the stories passed down through generations of Black women, this episode dives into: Why many of us resist asking for help, even when we need it most. The cost of carrying expectations we were never meant to bear. How letting go of hyper-independence creates room for the support we’ve always deserved. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: The generational roots of the “I’ve got it” mindset and how it shows up today. The emotional, physical, and relational costs of trying to do it all. Why naming your needs is a radical act of self-care and liberation. How the Support Languages™ framework helps Black women communicate their needs and build meaningful, supportive connections. Key Takeaways: Just because you’ve been doing it all doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. Asking for help doesn’t make you less capable—it makes space for the support you deserve. Knowing your Support Language™ empowers you to guide others in showing up for you in ways that truly matter. Why This Episode Matters: Black women have often been conditioned to be the “strong one,” but strength isn’t about doing it all alone—it’s about knowing when to let go and let others in. This episode highlights the importance of emotional support for Black women and how Support Languages™ offers a culturally relevant way to name your needs and invite deeper connections. It’s an invitation to release the “I’ve got it” mindset and rewrite the story of strength—because, sis, you were never meant to carry it all alone. Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.com

Black women friendships are powerful, but sometimes the support we give and receive doesn’t fully meet our needs, leaving us feeling unseen and unheard. In this week’s episode of the Shades of Strong Podcast, we explore why supportive friendships matter, and what to do when the support isn't giving what it's supposed to give. Black women deserve friendships that truly see them. Inspired by a powerful scene from Being Mary Jane, we explore: The emotional labor many of us carry alone The gaps in mismatched support The importance of safe spaces where we can let our guard down and just be In This Episode, You’ll Learn: The emotional toll of being “the strong one” and why it leaves us drained. How mismatched support keeps Black women feeling isolated. The importance of safe spaces where you’re seen, heard, and held. Why naming your needs through Support Languages™ is the first step toward real connection. Key Takeaways: Most people mean well but don’t know how to support you in the ways you need. Knowing your Support Language™ closes the gap between the care you give and the care you receive. Black women deserve relationships that feel like home—where support is mutual and meaningful. Why This Episode Matters: This episode shines a light on the unique struggles Black women face when it comes to support while offering a culturally relevant solution in Support Languages™. It’s not just about pointing out the gaps—it’s about empowering you to close them, name what you need, and start asking for the support you truly deserve. It’s a call to action to stop settling for surface-level support and start building relationships that feel like home. Because every Black woman deserves to feel seen, heard, and held—without judgment, without struggle, and without being dismissed. This conversation is a powerful step toward creating that reality. Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.com