The Unhinged Father

One in eight men globally report mental health disorders. Seventy percent will avoid seeking help entirely. Only one in four men who admit to depression will ever go to therapy. Robbie found those numbers deeply concerning — and then realized he'd been one of them for most of his adult life. This isn't a therapy pitch. It's not a dadfluencer telling you that dads have it hard. It's a real conversation from someone who spent years white-knuckling his way through depression and anxiety, calling it stress, calling it tiredness, telling himself that needing help made him less of a man — until he finally figured out what was actually going on and why he'd been so resistant to facing it. Robbie opens up about his own ongoing struggles with anxiety and depression, his ADHD diagnosis, why he still doesn't have a therapist right now, and the one reframe that changed how he thinks about all of it — you're not asking for help, you're refueling. Topics covered: why men are culturally wired to avoid asking for help and where that wiring comes from, the gradual signs Robbie now recognizes when he's heading into a depressive cycle, why suffering in silence doesn't protect your family — it just makes them watch you suffer from the outside, what getting help actually looks like when therapy isn't your starting point, why naming it out loud to one person is sometimes the only first step you need, and the hardest truth in the episode — the version of you that never asks for anything, never shows weakness, never admits to struggling — that version isn't strong. That version is alone. If this one resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear it. There are a lot of men carrying things they don't have to carry alone. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

There are two guys Robbie wants to talk about. One brushes his teeth with brake fluid, hasn't communicated a feeling since 1987, and thinks vulnerability is something that happens to other people. The other one is so emotionally available he makes Miss Rachel look like Brock Lesnar. Both of them are a problem. And somewhere between these two caricatures, real men — real dads — are supposed to figure out who they're actually supposed to be. This is the masculinity episode TUF has been building toward. Not a lecture on what you should be. An honest look at where we're at, what we're being sold, and what it actually looks like to show your kids the full picture of what a man is — strong when they need a wall, goofy when they need a goofball, and emotionally present when they need someone to sit on the floor with them. Robbie is an Enneagram 8. Vulnerability doesn't come naturally. This episode is him working through it out loud — and making the case that the strongest version of a dad is the one who can do all three. Topics covered: the manosphere and why the brake fluid masculinity model has real costs for your kids and your marriage, what's actually missing on the other extreme, why your family needs different things from you at different times and why knowing which one to give them is the whole job, the specific moments where Robbie has shown his boys each side of him, and why controlled chaos — emotion plus reason — is the most powerful thing a man can develop. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

We are raising the first generation of kids who will never know a world without screens, infinite content, and instant gratification — and most of us are figuring it out as we go. In this episode, Robbie gets real about his own phone habits, why "tough shit, go be bored" is actually good parenting, and how to raise kids who can live in the real world without being left behind in the digital one. No anti-technology rants. No shame for parents who hand over the tablet sometimes. Just an honest, practical conversation about what it means to be screen-smart — for your kids and for yourself. Topics covered: why boredom builds better kids, the difference between overscheduled and overstimulated children, how to set guardrails without going full Amish, and why the example you're setting right now matters more than any rule you put in place later. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

If you're a dad in your 30s or 40s who hasn't seen a doctor in years, still thinks you can eat like you're 22, and keeps telling yourself you'll "get healthy later" — this one is for you. Because later has a way of becoming never. Robbie gets brutally honest about skipping physicals for five years, his history with high blood pressure and high cholesterol, the slow reality of losing weight after 35, and why getting healthy isn't vanity — it's showing up for your kids in the way they deserve. Topics covered: why dads avoid doctors and what it's actually costing you, realistic approaches to weight loss and fitness with a newborn and a full schedule, the mind-body connection nobody talks about, and why wanting to look good for your wife is a completely valid reason to get in shape. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

"Am I failing as a parent? Am I screwing my kids up?" If those thoughts have crossed your mind lately, this episode is for you. Because when your kid's behavior goes sideways during a big transition — new baby, new school, new house — it's easy to take it personally. And that's exactly when you make it worse. Robbie walks through a year of nonstop change in his own family and gets honest about what his kids' tantrums were really telling him — and what his own reaction was actually saying about him. This episode is less about fixing your kid and more about understanding what's happening in both of you. Topics covered: why transitions cause behavioral explosions in kids, what your child's nervous system is actually doing during a meltdown, how your emotional state pours gasoline on the fire, and practical tools that have actually worked — not just in theory, but in Robbie's house last week. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

Everyone checks on the pregnant woman. The moment that baby arrives, the world moves on — and mom is left bleeding, sleep-deprived, hormonally wrecked, and expected to figure it out. As a dad of three, Robbie has seen this up close, and he's not going to pretend it isn't happening. This episode is for every dad who has ever said "she's fine" when she's clearly not — and for every mom who wishes her partner actually understood what she was going through. Honest, direct, and from someone who admits he was a complete dipshit the first time around and had to figure it out the hard way. Topics covered: what actually happens to a woman's body and hormones after birth, why the healthcare system largely abandons moms the moment the baby arrives, how to be a real partner instead of a well-meaning bystander, and what Robbie does differently now on baby three versus baby one. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

A few hours before heading to the hospital for the induction of his third son, Robbie sits down and hits record. No prep, no plan — just everything going through his head in real time. The fears, the work pressure, the sleep deprivation already starting, and what he's learned about himself across three kids that he wishes he'd known going into the first. If you're about to become a parent — or you're already in it and wondering why it feels harder than you expected — this is the episode you didn't know you needed. Topics covered: the anxiety nobody talks about before baby three, managing work expectations during paternity leave, how Robbie went from being a "complete shithead" as a new dad to the father he is today, and why having kids either forces you to grow or exposes exactly where you haven't. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

You know what you want to change. You've known for a while. And every time you get close to starting — something comes up, you talk yourself out of it, or you decide you'll just do it tomorrow. And then tomorrow becomes next week becomes next year. Sound familiar? Robbie gets into the thing that's actually blocking most people from making real changes in their life — and it's not motivation, it's not discipline, and it's not time. It's the starting. And there's a specific reason that first step feels so impossible, and a specific way to make it less so. Topics covered: why the start is always the hardest part and what to do about it, the difference between being kind to yourself and coddling yourself back into complacency, why the all-or-nothing mentality is killing your progress, and how to build the grit to just go — even when you're not fully ready and never will be. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

Not a resolution episode. Not a "new year new me" pep talk. This is Robbie sitting down with a notebook, going through every area of his life that actually matters, and being honest about where he's at and where he wants to go — health, family, friendship, faith, business, and the legacy he's trying to leave for his kids. If you've been meaning to slow down and think about what you actually want your life to look like — not the highlight reel version, the real one — this is a good place to start. Topics covered: why health is the foundation everything else is built on, the challenge of making real friends as an adult man, how faith fits into Robbie's life without the evangelical sledgehammer, what legacy actually means when you're 38 with three boys, and why the podcast exists in the first place. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

Five months. No episodes, no Instagram, no consistency. A new baby on the way, a house sale, a move, increased work pressure, and a slow slide back into some old habits Robbie thought he'd left behind. This is that episode — the honest return where he doesn't pretend the absence didn't happen or that he has it all figured out now. If you've ever been working on yourself and then watched life quietly undo some of that progress — this one will feel familiar. The point isn't that you'll never fall off. The point is what you do next. Topics covered: what five months of life chaos actually looks like, why falling off the wagon doesn't mean starting from zero, the difference between a regression and a setback, why modern parents seem more stressed than previous generations, and how to get back on track without the all-or-nothing spiral. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

Younger generations are delaying marriage, skipping kids, and walking away from the white picket fence entirely — and honestly, Robbie gets it. The cost of having a family has never been higher, divorce rates reshaped an entire generation's view of commitment, and social media has made everyone else's life look better than yours. So is it still worth it? Robbie gives his most direct, unfiltered take on why he believes it is — while being completely honest about how hard it's been, the fertility challenges, the financial pressure, and the version of himself he had to become to show up for his family the way they deserve. Topics covered: why young adults are opting out of marriage and parenthood, the real financial barriers to starting a family in 2025, what's actually killing marriages (hint: it's not just compatibility), why having kids forced Robbie to become a better man, and his honest take on the childfree lifestyle. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

Your kid throws their plate across the room and your first thought is "what the hell is wrong with you?" — which is a completely normal thought to have, and also exactly the wrong place to start. Because your kid isn't being a jerk. Their brain just doesn't work like yours yet. And how you respond in that moment says a lot more about your emotional regulation than theirs. Robbie gets into the discipline conversation he actually has with himself — the threats that go too far, the consequences that get unreasonable, and what it looks like to be a firm parent without becoming a dictator about it. Topics covered: why kids aren't capable of adult reasoning and what that means for discipline, the difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting and why it matters, how your own emotional state shapes every interaction with your child, and practical approaches that build respect instead of fear. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

Every parent wants to raise good kids. But somewhere along the way, "good" got replaced with "successful" — the right grades, the right sport, the right college. Robbie thinks we've got the priorities backwards, and in this episode he gets into what he's actually trying to build in his kids and why legacy matters more than achievement. This isn't a lecture on parenting philosophy. It's a real conversation about what kind of people you want your kids to become — and how the identity you build inside your family right now is the most powerful force shaping that. Topics covered: why achievement-focused parenting misses the point, what it means to create a family identity and why it matters, the difference between raising kids who perform well versus kids who are genuinely good people, and the one question Robbie keeps coming back to — what do you want your kids to leave behind? Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

Somewhere between "toxic positivity" and "embrace the grind" culture, most people are living in a weird middle ground — pretending they're okay when they're not, doom-scrolling through other people's highlight reels, and wondering why they feel like they're falling behind. Robbie doesn't have a lot of patience for either extreme, and in this episode he gets into why. This is the episode for anyone who's tired of being told to just think positive — but also tired of the performative suffering and self-pity that's become equally trendy online. Real life is hard. That's not a trauma response, it's just Tuesday. And there's a way to acknowledge that without using it as a reason to stop showing up. Topics covered: why toxic positivity is actually harmful and not just annoying, the difference between having grace for yourself and letting yourself completely off the hook, what it actually looks like to embrace difficulty without performing it for social media, Robbie's own ongoing struggle with the all-or-nothing mentality, and how to keep going when things are legitimately hard without pretending they aren't. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

Mental health awareness has come a long way — and that's genuinely a good thing. But somewhere between "it's okay not to be okay" and where we are now, something got twisted. Diagnoses became identities. Anxiety became a reason not to do hard things. And a lot of people stopped asking whether getting better was actually the goal anymore. Robbie isn't anti-therapy and he isn't minimizing real mental illness. He deals with his own anxiety and depression and he's open about that. But he's also willing to say what a lot of people are thinking but afraid to put into words — that the conversation has gotten unbalanced, and that accountability and growth are still part of the equation. Topics covered: how mental health awareness shifted from "get help" to "this is my identity," why bad therapy can be worse than no therapy, the difference between acknowledging your struggles and letting them define your limits, the missing conversation about accountability in the mental health space, and what real growth actually looks like when you're dealing with anxiety or depression. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

We won't let kids walk to the park alone, but we'll hand them an unsupervised portal to the entire internet. We bubble-wrap them from scraped knees and then wonder why they can't handle hard emotions. If that contradiction bothers you too, this episode is going to feel like a long exhale. Inspired by Jonathan Haidt's "The Anxious Generation," Robbie breaks down the overprotection paradox — and why the thing we think is keeping kids safe might actually be what's making them fragile. Topics covered: why kids are physically tougher than we think and emotionally less equipped for the online world than we realize, the concept of anti-fragility and what it means for how we raise our kids, why boredom and risk are actually essential to child development, and how to find the balance between protecting your kids and accidentally raising someone who can't handle real life. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

Robbie went to UC Santa Barbara, started as a biochemistry pre-med student, burned out completely, switched to sociology, and graduated with a degree he freely admits he uses mostly for bar trivia. He's not bitter about it — but he does have some strong opinions about what nobody tells 18-year-olds before they sign up for six figures of debt. This isn't a college-bashing episode and it's not a "just go, it builds character" episode either. It's the honest middle ground — the one that actually looks at the real problems in the system without pretending there are easy answers. Topics covered: why not everyone should go to college and why that's okay to say out loud, the predatory reality of student loans that nobody talks about, what Robbie would tell his own kids about higher education, the value of trade schools and alternative paths, and how to think about the college decision without the noise from either political extreme. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

It happened at the park. Robbie's two-year-old is heading up the slide, mom is ready to intervene, Robbie is standing back watching him figure it out. Three seconds later the kid makes it down fine — and then immediately slips trying to climb back up and faceplants. Turns out they were both right. And that's kind of the point. This episode is about why two parents who see things differently aren't a problem to solve — they're actually what your kid needs. The real issue isn't that you disagree. It's what happens when you can't manage that disagreement without making your kids carry the weight of it. Topics covered: why conflicting parenting styles actually create a more balanced environment for kids, the one thing that does real damage when parents disagree, how Robbie and his wife handled a punishment he genuinely thought was wrong — and what that looked like in practice, and why presenting a united front matters more than being right. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

From ages 24 to 28, Robbie was, in his own words, not the person he wanted to be. Drinking too much, eating like hell, not going to the gym, not pulling his weight at home, checked out emotionally, shoving everything down and calling it strength. His wife had to put up with the brunt of it. He's still a little ashamed of it. This episode isn't a redemption arc wrapped up neatly with a bow. It's an honest look at what that version of himself actually cost, what finally started to shift it, and what he still struggles with now — specifically the inability to admit he can't do something until he's already dropped the ball on it. Topics covered: what self-sabotage actually looks like in a young husband and father, why repressing everything doesn't make you stronger, the specific patterns Robbie still catches himself falling into, the difference between changing who you are and dialing in the best version of who you already are, and why having kids either forces you to grow up or exposes exactly where you haven't. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather

During a Valentine's Day bedtime routine, Robbie's five-year-old said one of the things he appreciates most is that mom and dad like each other. That they hug and kiss. That they show affection. It was a small moment that turned into a bigger thought — about what kids actually feel when they see their parents genuinely connected, and what they feel when they don't. This isn't a lovey-dovey episode. It's a real conversation about what it means to keep your marriage visible to your kids — not perfectly, not performatively, but consistently — and why that visibility is one of the most important things you can give them. Topics covered: why kids experience parental affection as physical safety, what happens to kids' nervous systems when mom and dad are in conflict, why Robbie grew up in a house where affection wasn't visible and what he's doing differently, the masculinity angle — you can be a strong protector and still show your wife love in front of your kids, and why "keep the wolves away" means more than just physical protection. Send a message about the episode! Support the show https://linktr.ee/unhingedfather