NeverNarc

You’ve worked so hard to pull yourself and your life back together again. You deserve to feel proud of yourself for all you’ve overcome! Truly it shows how much strength and resilience you have and how incredible you truly are. What we’ve noticed though is that sometimes we’ll allow our strength to work against us by powering through when what we really need is to invest time and energy - on a regular basis - focusing on our own healing and growth. If you don’t prioritize this in your life you may seem fully functional. But often there’s some gaps in your heart and mind that a person with selfish or even nefarious intent can slip in and get a foothold. You know who specializes in doing that and is highly skilled in finding the gaps to leverage? Narcissists. The last thing you want is to go from the frying pan into the fire. Sadly, it happens. A lot. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we take a look at 5 personal issues we hide away in our hearts that can make us vulnerable to another narcissist slipping into a gap and gaining a foothold in your life. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

It’s not healthy to live in hiding, isolating from others, or always in a vigilant mode, in fear of getting involved with a toxic person. We want you to be proactive about your life - moving forward, building the kind of life you want, feeling hopeful and confident in who you are, having so much to look forward to. But as you move forward in life you’re going to pass through seasons and stages that by their very nature can cause you to be more vulnerable or even targeted by a narcissist. When you’re aware that you’re in a life season like this you can put some guard rails in place that not only protect you but even help you grow. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy and join our conversation today as we consider 5 life seasons that can make you vulnerable to another narcissist worming their way into your life. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

Being in a significant relationship with a toxic narcissist guarantees you’ve experienced life altering woundedness of the soul. Even though it may have been months or even years since you extracted the narcissist from your life, the survival mode mechanisms can remain in the way you live out your days. You may be functional but you’re not truly free. This is Part 3 of a 3-part series bringing to light signs and symptoms pointing to dimensions of yourself that still need proactive help to heal, repair, rediscover, and restore important aspects of you and your life. In Part 3 we’re going to shine a light on symptoms indicating your sense of purpose and future self is still struggling. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy and join our conversation today as we discuss recognizing when you’re free from the narcissist but not the fallout of what you’ve been through. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

Being in a significant relationship with a toxic narcissist guarantees you’ve experienced life altering woundedness of the soul. Even though it may have been months or even years since you extracted the narcissist from your life, the survival mode mechanisms can remain in the way you live out your days. You may be functional but you’re not truly free. This is Part 2 of a 3-part series bringing to light signs and symptoms pointing to dimensions of yourself that still need proactive help to heal, repair, rediscover, and restore important aspects of you and your life. In Part 2 we’re going to shine a light on symptoms indicating your self-concept is still struggling. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we discuss recognizing when you’re free from the narcissist but not the fallout of what you’ve been through. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

Being in a significant relationship with a toxic narcissist guarantees you’ve experienced life altering woundedness of the soul. It’s great that you’ve disengaged yourself from that narcissistic relationship but just because you don’t have the narc in your face every day doesn’t mean you’re truly free. There’s been too much water under the bridge to assume you’ll bounce back to who you were before. Just because you’re functional going about your day doesn’t mean you’re truly free either. You’ve made it through the worst part. Now’s the time to focus on proactively healing you. Today is the start of a 3-part series during which we’ll bring to light the signs and symptoms pointing to areas of yourself that still need proactive help to heal, repair, rediscover, and restore important aspects of you and your life. In this episode we’ll unpack symptoms that point to how much your heart is still hurting no matter how “okay” you try to be. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we share our thoughts about recognizing when you’re free from the narcissist but not the fallout of what you’ve been through. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

It’s a really good thing that more and more people in the general population are becoming familiar with the concept of narcissism. However, the term “narcissist” is being thrown around a bit too loosely and it waters down the understanding of what that really is. Just because someone can be self-absorbed, insensitive, arrogant or act like a jerk a lot doesn’t make them a narcissist. It’s important you learn to recognize the differences between them otherwise you may make seriously wrong decisions concerning your relationship and interactions with them. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we share our thoughts about how to discern a plain jerk from a toxic narcissist. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

We view the start of a new year like the start of a new chapter in life. It’s exciting to think of the possibilities, isn’t it? Our tendency is to go straight into making resolutions and setting goals. But before you get too far into that thought process, wouldn’t it make sense to clarify the big picture foundation so when you do set goals you know they’re aligned with what you want your life characterized by? Whether we realize it or not, we all operate by a sort of "Constitution". The problem is, if you haven't been deliberate about identifying and enforcing your Constitution you wind up living in default mode, reacting to people and situations. ​Your days become filled with to-do's and demands from all sides and can feel like you've lost sight of your autonomy regarding how you allocate your time and energy week after week. This week I have another bonus workbook for you that offers a starting point to get back on track with who you are and what kind of life you want to have - a life that you absolutely love, one that’s deeply fulfilling to you and makes a difference in the lives of others. In today’s episode Wendy, Carol and I share the answers and insights we gained from walking through the exercises in my Beautiful Life Personal Constitution Workbook. You can download your complimentary copy of the Beautiful Life Constitution Workbook by going to: https://annettechesney.com/beautiful-life-constitution ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

You invested a whole year of your life into 2023! It had its ups and downs, successes, failures, joys, and heartbreaks. Along the way you learned a lot about what to do and what not to do. You learned more about who you are and who you want to be. You gained a lot of insights, but may also have gained some unwanted baggage along that won't serve you well moving forward. In today’s episode we’re going to get a bit creative as Carol, Wendy, and I walk you through our personal insights from using my workbook, “Creative Exercises For Year End Reflection.” This episode is a replay from the beginning of 2023, but still holds true moving into 2024. You can download your complimentary copy of Creative Exercises For Year End Reflection by going to: https://annettechesney.com/year-end-reflection I think you’ll find this workbook provides a simple and interesting way to evaluate your year, identify and affirm insights, then prepare yourself for a wiser, more successful 2024. I’d be willing to bet you’ll be surprised at what you learn about yourself and the perspective you gain as you complete each exercise. So now, pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join us as we share our insights about what we’ll unload and what we’ll pack with us moving into the new year. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

In our previous 2 episodes we kicked off the holiday season with a 3-part Christmas series by revisiting the classic Dickens story, A Christmas Carol, and 3 ghosts come to visit Ebeneezer Scrooge throughout the night on Christmas Eve - The Ghost of Christmas Past The Ghost of Christmas Present The Ghost of Christmas Future As you might imagine, the appearance of each ghost person was rather unnerving for Ebeneezer. The most unnerving part though was realizing that each ghost was there to show him something about his life. Today we’re going to we’re going to invite The Ghost of Christmas Future to provide a foreshadowing of what our future will look like, depending on which path we select in the present. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as share some ideas about how to deal with Christmas Carol Ghosts of the Future. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

In our previous episode we kicked off the holiday season with a 3-part Christmas series by revisiting the classic Dickens story, A Christmas Carol and the 3 ghosts who come to visit Ebeneezer Scrooge throughout the night on Christmas Eve - The Ghost of Christmas Past The Ghost of Christmas Present The Ghost of Christmas Future As you might imagine, the appearance of each ghost person was rather unnerving for Ebeneezer. The most unnerving part though was realizing that each ghost was there to show him something about his life. Today we’re going to we’re going to invite The Ghost of Christmas Present to reveal default perspectives we may be operating from that are impacting our ability to enjoy this season and our daily lives overall. Don’t worry - we’re not here to judge. We’ll be doing the same evaluation for our own lives too in these conversations. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy and join our conversation today as share some ideas about how to deal with Christmas Carol Ghosts of the Present. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

In the classic Dickens story, A Christmas Carol, 3 ghosts come to visit Ebeneezer Scrooge throughout the night on Christmas Eve - The Ghost of Christmas Past The Ghost of Christmas Present The Ghost of Christmas Future As you might imagine, the appearance of each ghost person was rather unnerving for Ebeneezer. The most unnerving part though was realizing that each ghost was there to show him something about his life… …decisions he had made that brought him to where he was today …how his attitude and perspective were impacting him and others around him …and the outcomes the current trajectory of his life would lead to Spoiler Alert! These 3 ghosts did Ebeneezer a huge favor because they helped him to see things in a new light, and make changes before it was too late. As a result, Ebeneezer Scrooge made some changes. By making those changes he wound up living a much happier life, rich with relationships and blessings. In this 3 part series, you can consider us the ghosts that will help you evaluate the same in your life. Don’t worry - we’re not here to judge. We’ll be doing the same evaluation for our own lives too in these conversations. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we share some ideas about how to deal with Christmas Carol Ghosts of the Past. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

Even though stores started putting up Christmas decorations about 2 months ago, we’re now officially on the other side of Thanksgiving here in the States and the Christmas season is in full swing! Depending on where you’re at in your healing journey embracing the spirit of the season may come with some mixed emotions - for good reasons. It’s crucial that you understand how and why the holiday season can impact the areas of your heart where you’re most vulnerable. Don’t put it past the narcissist to attempt to hoover you back in with various strategies. It’s more common than you think & strategic for the narcissist to leverage the season. We want to help you be wise in how you handle your heart and proactive in positioning yourself to have a truly beautiful holiday season. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we talk about how to protect your heart at the holidays and enjoy the spirit of the season. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

In our previous 2 episodes we shared 10 tactics narcissists use against you to create a really twisted version of a carnival Fun House that is meant to keep you off balance, distort your self-concept, and train you not to trust your own judgment. In Part 3 of this series we’re going to look at another 5 tactics that were used against you: Hoovering Baiting Ghosting Intermittent Reinforcement Idealize, Devalue, Discard We’re going to share our thoughts about… So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we talk about head games that narcissists play to make you feel crazy and why it may still be impacting you more than you realize. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

In our previous episode we shared with you how narcissists create a really twisted version of a carnival Fun House that is meant to keep you off balance, distort your self-concept, and train you not to trust your own judgment. We shared 5 head games they play and discussed why they did it, how they did it, and why you may still be living in a reactive posture to what was conditioned into you. In Part 2 of this 3 part series we’re going to look at 5 more tactics that were used against you: So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we talk about head games that narcissists play to make you feel crazy and why it may still be impacting you more than you realize. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

Have you ever been in a Fun House at a carnival when you were growing up? You never knew what to expect as you moved from one section to the next. There’s mirrors all around that show wildly distorted images and make it hard to tell where to move forward. When you look in the mirror you see a bizarrely distorted image you barely recognize gazing back at you. In the next section the floor splits and starts moving and tilting in crazy angles under your feet. All your attention and energy is focused on not falling down. Next you’re sent through a maze where freaky looking clowns unexpectedly jump out at you until you’re gunshy to turn the next corner. Being in a long term relationship with a narcissist can leave you feeling like you’re fighting your way out of a Fun House that’s no fun at all. It’s a nightmare. Even after you’re out of the narcissists version of the Fun House you can still be struggling. You look in the mirror and don’t recognize yourself anymore. Something good happens and you can’t enjoy it because you’re on guard in anticipation of something bad popping out from around the next corner. Instead of creating your new beautiful life after you’re free from the narcissist's grip, you’re still feeling off balance and disoriented, stuck in survival mode…maybe even for years. What’s going on here? This is the first of 3 episodes where we’ll walk you through 15 tactics narcissists employ to make you feel this way and try to keep you feeling this way. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we talk about head games that narcissists play to make you feel crazy and why it may still be impacting you more than you realize. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

When you’ve lived through narcissistic abuse it’s common to come out of that struggling with issues surrounding boundaries. Narcissists are skillful at systematically eroding even strong boundaries. As a matter of fact, especially when it comes to a Category 3 type of narcissist, they look at your boundary and say to themselves, “I’ll take that challenge”. To them it’s entertaining and a mark of superiority to manipulate you bit by bit into giving up ground until the boundary you used to have doesn’t exist anymore. They’re so good at this that often you’re not even aware it’s happening until you wake up and realize you’ve been the frog in the kettle and now you’ve lost so much ground that you feel like a shadow of yourself and you’re not sure how to turn things around. Just because you’re no longer dealing with that narcissist on a daily basis doesn’t mean your boundary issues have been resolved. Boundaries have to do with what you have predetermined is acceptable or not acceptable, and what you’re doing to protect who you are, how you live, and what you have. Being in a long term relationship with a narcissist means all those lines have been deliberately blurred AND you’ve been made to feel guilty if you even try to reset any type of boundary to reclaim yourself. This means we’ve got some work to do! So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we talk about how godly people build and repair good boundaries. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

If you’re a regular listener to the podcast you know that usually Carol Pavlik and Wendy Ockers join me as cohosts for our conversation. Today is something a bit different. I recently recorded an interview featuring Carol for Comfy Conversations, which is one of the features in my membership, Beautiful Life Academy. This episode showcases Carol's expertise and experience helping women put their lives back together again. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join us as we share some thoughts about how to create your own custom designed life do-over. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

Sometimes you hear something from the perspective of another person that just jumps out and smacks you between the eyes. I stumbled across a quote that caught my attention and made me ponder the point the author was making. Since this marks NeverNarc Podcast’s 50th episode, I thought it would be fun and maybe yield some great insights to gather a few thought provoking quotes and talk about whether we agree or disagree and why. Plus we may discover some helpful insights, validating truths, and principles to apply along the way. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join us as we share some thoughts about 3 provocative quotes from others pertaining to healing and growth after narcissistic abuse. 👇 If NeverNarc Podcast has been a help to you please consider leaving a review on the podcast platform you use and sharing about the podcast with others who can benefit from it. Thanks! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

There’s no doubt that being in a long term relationship with a narcissist is trauma inducing. Your assumptions about who you are and what’s possible for you have been shattered. You were robbed of your relational innocence and blissful optimism. Your total viewpoint has experienced a radical paradigm shift that isn’t pleasant or pretty. Whether you realize it or not, you’re standing at a crossroad. You’re faced with important decisions about what attitude and perspective you’ll embrace, which impacts the story you tell yourself about yourself and your future. You have 3 general paths to choose from. Path #1 - Unconsciously live your life with the perspective of a beaten puppy - assuming danger is all around, acquiescing your power, living stressed out and fixated on finding security rather than exploring opportunities. Path #2 - You can adopt a defensive posture stemming from the mindset that it’s you against the world and nobody is coming to save you. The outcome down this path is you turn into a jaded, snarling, suspicious caricature of who you once were or could be. Then there’s Path #3 - You can willfully choose the viewpoint of an overcomer, the head not the tail, a joyful, powerful warrior Daughter of the Most High. Going down either of the first two paths is effortless. They’re practically default settings after narcissistic abuse. The problem is that you’ll be miserable for years to come, and Satan will be laughing because he won. The third path will require a lot of you to traverse it. Especially in the early stages because you’ll feel like you’re fighting to clear the path of rocks and overgrown vegetation. It’s hard work, but if you stick with it your life will become better than you ever dreamed possible. This path will also transform how you view everything, but in really good ways. There’s a lot riding on the path you select and which viewpoint you adopt, so we need to talk about it! Pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy and join us as we discuss why trauma changes how you view everything and how to find the balanced, healthy perspective you need to write the beautiful next chapter of your story . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com

It might surprise you to hear that although we haven’t yet met, I already know some things about you. I’d be willing to bet that no matter what you’ve been through in the past or what kind of day you’re having in the present, you do your best to always think of the wellbeing of others. You’re a good friend. You’re respectful to others. You show kindness to your family and friends when they’re struggling and grace when they blow it. You’re quick to forgive them. You encourage their efforts, cheer them on, and celebrate their wins. You’re there for others when they need you. You’ll quickly put others first and do thoughtful things for them. You genuinely like your friends and enjoy who they are, quirks and all. That’s the kind of person you are toward others, whether strangers or close friends. The big question is, why aren’t you being that kind of person to yourself? We think it’s time to call out this issue in love, because you deserve better. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join us as we discuss the need to start doing unto yourself like you graciously do unto others. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CinderElla No More Coaching Program Become your best self, living your best life after narcissistic abuse! For info go to: annettechesney.com/cinderella ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Download the free Narc Encounter Spectrum Overview For info go to: annettechesney.com/overview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questions? Email: annette@annettechesney.com