Start with Small Steps

What if you haven't failed at something once or twice — you've been failing at the same thing for decades? Last week was public failure. This week it's private, repeated, long-term failure. And it's harder in a different way. For me, that thing is weight. I've been trying to lose it since I was a child. And what I eventually figured out about all those attempts changed the entire way I look at failure. Private Failure Has Its Own Weight No one sees you stepping on the scale at six in the morning. No one sees the attempt that was working until it stopped. The people in your corner see the headlines — a good week, twenty pounds gone — but not the daily private reality. Private failure is lonely. And the accumulation of it can start to feel like evidence that you are simply broken in this one particular way. The Fresh Start Trap Our culture loves the clean-slate story. But fresh starts often require throwing away everything learned from the last attempt. Jenny Craig out, Weight Watchers in — and you're back at the beginning, carrying nothing forward. After years of this, Jill realized: what if the knowledge from the last attempt was actually valuable? What if she didn't need to start over — she just needed to iterate? Building a Toolkit from Every Attempt Every attempt gave her something: the trainer fourteen years ago taught fitness science she still uses today. Weight Watchers gave her a food framework she still applies. Every time she thought she was starting over, she was actually carrying something forward — a principle that had become second nature, a piece of self-knowledge she didn't have before, a habit that had quietly snuck in. The Wrong Question — and the Right One 'Why can't I make this happen?' assumes the problem is willpower or discipline. But what if something else is actually going wrong — something metabolic, hormonal, or structural — that no amount of grit can fix? Changing the question from 'what's wrong with me' to 'what is actually going wrong' opens a completely different door. Iteration Is Not Failure on Repeat Iteration is progress. It's what happens when you make small incremental adjustments and try again — not a complete overhaul, just a nudge here and a nudge there. Every attempt is a little better than the last. You're not the person who keeps failing at the same thing. You're the person who keeps iterating on a hard problem. And you are not done yet. Closing When you look at a long history of attempts, the thing that's actually happening is not an unbroken record of failure. It's an unbroken record of getting back up. That stubbornness — the quiet, unglamorous stubbornness of refusing to stay down — is actually the thing. Next week we talk about what happens when those iterations finally reach the right conditions. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, life coach, or mental health professional. Any habits, strategies, or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or counseling advice. Results vary — small steps look different for everyone. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

What if you haven't failed at something once or twice — you've been failing at the same thing for decades? Last week was public failure. This week it's private, repeated, long-term failure. And it's harder in a different way. For me, that thing is weight. I've been trying to lose it since I was a child. And what I eventually figured out about all those attempts changed the entire way I look at failure. Private Failure Has Its Own Weight No one sees you stepping on the scale at six in the morning. No one sees the attempt that was working until it stopped. The people in your corner see the headlines — a good week, twenty pounds gone — but not the daily private reality. Private failure is lonely. And the accumulation of it can start to feel like evidence that you are simply broken in this one particular way. The Fresh Start Trap Our culture loves the clean-slate story. But fresh starts often require throwing away everything learned from the last attempt. Jenny Craig out, Weight Watchers in — and you're back at the beginning, carrying nothing forward. After years of this, Jill realized: what if the knowledge from the last attempt was actually valuable? What if she didn't need to start over — she just needed to iterate? Building a Toolkit from Every Attempt Every attempt gave her something: the trainer fourteen years ago taught fitness science she still uses today. Weight Watchers gave her a food framework she still applies. Every time she thought she was starting over, she was actually carrying something forward — a principle that had become second nature, a piece of self-knowledge she didn't have before, a habit that had quietly snuck in. The Wrong Question — and the Right One 'Why can't I make this happen?' assumes the problem is willpower or discipline. But what if something else is actually going wrong — something metabolic, hormonal, or structural — that no amount of grit can fix? Changing the question from 'what's wrong with me' to 'what is actually going wrong' opens a completely different door. Iteration Is Not Failure on Repeat Iteration is progress. It's what happens when you make small incremental adjustments and try again — not a complete overhaul, just a nudge here and a nudge there. Every attempt is a little better than the last. You're not the person who keeps failing at the same thing. You're the person who keeps iterating on a hard problem. And you are not done yet. Closing When you look at a long history of attempts, the thing that's actually happening is not an unbroken record of failure. It's an unbroken record of getting back up. That stubbornness — the quiet, unglamorous stubbornness of refusing to stay down — is actually the thing. Next week we talk about what happens when those iterations finally reach the right conditions. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, life coach, or mental health professional. Any habits, strategies, or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or counseling advice. Results vary — small steps look different for everyone. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

Have you ever failed publicly — in a way that everyone around you could see? I did. I walked away from a high-status, well-paying job with no backup plan, no other offer, and no real financial cushion. And everyone in my world was watching. This is the first episode in my Bouncing Forward mini-series, and it's about exactly that — not bouncing back to where you were, but bouncing forward to somewhere better. Why Some People Don't Come Back Public failure carries a specific kind of weight — the humiliation, the awareness that people are watching, the fear that what you did will define how they see you. I've watched people fold under that weight, cutting off friendships, avoiding eye contact, never recovering. This episode is about making sure that doesn't happen to you. The Job She Left A high-demand company, team awards (the hardest ones to win there), 100+ hour work weeks, and then a boss who made clear that the punishing pace was now the permanent expectation. Jill's best friend cleared out her entire office in one visit and said: you're done here. Three weeks later she walked out with no job lined up — and everyone knew it. Resist the First Life Raft The temptation in public failure is to grab whatever comes along first, just to stop the bleeding. Jill did the opposite. She analyzed what had made her miserable, what she had actually loved, and built a clear picture of what the next role needed to look like. New hire training, for example, had been one of the highlights of her month — that was going on the list. The Shift: From Job-Seeker to Evaluator The moment she got clear on what she actually wanted, the dynamic changed completely. She was no longer interviewing for jobs — they were auditioning for her. She needed to be convinced this company would make her happy. That shift in mindset changed everything about how she approached the search. The Landing Is More Important Than the Fall Three weeks after making her list, Jill found the job she spent the next fifteen years in. Everyone sees you fall. But everyone also sees where you land. If you can hold out long enough to aim the landing — to figure out what the next chapter actually needs to look like rather than just stopping the bleeding — the bounce forward becomes something real. Closing Whatever your situation looks like — a relationship, a city, a business, a role in your family — the fears are probably similar. What am I going to do? How will I pay for this? But if you can resist grabbing the first life raft and instead ask: what does the next chapter need to look like? — that's where the real bounce forward happens. Next week we talk about private, long-term failure. Different kind of hard. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

Do you need a reinvention — or just a reset? In this episode I'm getting honest about the gap between wanting something in your life and actually deciding to go after it. This isn't about blowing everything up. It's about stopping the drift and quietly, firmly, pointing yourself in a new direction. What Does a Real Reset Look Like? Most people who try to reset their lives go too big — new city, extreme diet, dramatic quit. Three months later they're exhausted. A reset isn't a reinvention. It's a readjustment of your trajectory. Small, consistent course corrections compound into big change over time. Desire vs. Decision In your 20s you have plenty of desire. By your 50s you realize desire without decision is just a fantasy. A decision is expensive — not always in money, but in comfort, habit, and excuses. The shift happens when you stop wanting and start committing daily, not someday. The Cost of Drifting Drift feels harmless because it's slow. Health drifts. Finances drift. Relationships grow distant. And then one day you look up and a decade is gone. The good news: you don't have to fix it all at once. You just have to stop drifting and start steering. Subtraction Before Addition Every meaningful reset requires giving something up first — scrolling, convenience eating, saying yes to everything, avoiding hard conversations. What are you protecting that is actually keeping you stuck? What are you unwilling to give up that's costing you your future? Consistency Is the Unsexy Secret Speed is overrated. Stability compounds. Whether it's filling one garbage bin a week to organize your house, or committing to one daily walk, small reliable actions done over time get you further than any dramatic leap. I've lost 80 pounds. It wasn't one big moment — it was a thousand small ones. You don't need a new life. You need a slightly new direction and the willingness to move toward it today — one small step at a time. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

You can't stop the river. You never could. And yet most of us spend enormous amounts of energy trying to do exactly that — managing outcomes, controlling other people's reactions, bracing for every possible risk, paddling furiously against a current that was never going to turn around. In this episode, I want to offer a different way of thinking about it. Not giving up. Not going passive. But understanding the difference between fighting the river and learning how to read it — and positioning yourself to move through life with a lot more power and a lot less exhaustion. The Illusion of Control We tell ourselves that if we work harder, think harder, or plan more carefully, we can make life behave the way we want it to. But control is an illusion — for health, finances, other people's behavior, the economy, aging, and most of the things that matter most to us. The exhaustion so many people feel in midlife isn't weakness. It's the result of spending years fighting the laws of physics. Water goes where water goes. Recognizing that is not defeat. It's the beginning of something much more useful. Strength Pushes. Wisdom Positions. In your 20s, brute force often works — you paddle hard and it gets you somewhere. In your 30s and 40s, you start building systems and pushing harder. But there's a point where the current is stronger than your effort, and the kayak metaphor becomes useful: you don't control the depth of the water, the speed of the current, or the rocks beneath the surface. What you do control is the angle of your paddle, where you aim the nose of your boat, and whether you panic or stay focused. That shift — from trying to control to learning to position — is where real power lives. Positioning Yourself in Real Life Positioning isn't abstract — it's concrete and specific. For your health, it might be a 15-minute walk, resistance training twice a week, an extra half hour of sleep, or eating more protein first. For your career, it might be learning one skill your workplace values, or moving toward the part of your work that energizes you rather than drains you. The story from my own career says it plainly: the turning point wasn't working harder. It was stopping trying to be someone else and positioning myself where my actual strengths could compound into results. Reading the River — Including the Imaginary Ones A skilled kayaker reads the water — ripples, shadows, movement patterns. They know that fast water isn't always dangerous and still water isn't always safe. A lot of the rivers we're exhausted from fighting aren't even real. They're future catastrophes, replayed conversations, worst-case scenarios we've constructed in our heads. Learning to read the actual current — asking what is actually happening right now, not what we fear might happen — is one of the most practical stress-reduction moves available to us. When the Boat Flips Over Maturity isn't never flipping the kayak. It's knowing how to roll it back up. Misreading a current, hitting a rock, panicking at a curve — these are part of learning the water, not proof that you've failed. The goal isn't perfection or avoiding all the pitfalls. The goal is perseverance, a little grit, and the willingness to get back in the boat and keep reading the river better than you did before. You're not behind. You're not done. You haven't messed this up. You're learning how to read the water — and that may be the most powerful thing you do this season. This week, just one small step: one walk, one phone call you've been putting off, one "no" you've been avoiding, thirty minutes blocked off for something that will move your career forward. Not ten steps. One. Adjust the angle. The river keeps moving, and so do you. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video...

Most people don't fail at life because they weren't smart enough or talented enough. They struggle because no one ever gave them the ground rules. Twelve years of school, and rarely does anyone sit you down and say: here is how you build a life that doesn't quietly fall apart on you. That's what this episode is about. **The Foundations: Money That Doesn't Wreck You** The first two ground rules are financial, and they're not complicated — they're just unpopular. Don't carry consumer debt, and live below your means. Consumer debt is a quiet life-wrecker: invisible in the moment, compounding in the background. The gap between what you earn and what you spend is where real freedom lives. It's not about being cheap — it's about being intentional. Lifestyle inflation is real, and resisting it is how you actually get ahead. **Protect Your Health Before It Drifts** Your body is the vehicle for everything you do — your energy, your relationships, your ability to show up. And most people don't feel the consequences of their health decisions until they're deep into them. Maintaining your health is dramatically easier than rebuilding it. The ground rule is simple: don't be perfect, but don't let things get too far gone. Move, sleep, eat real food, get checkups. **The Drift Principle** Most of life's biggest problems aren't sudden events — they're slow drifts that go unnoticed until they become a crisis. You don't wake up $40,000 in debt one day. You don't suddenly have a broken marriage. You drift there, one small decision at a time. Understanding the drift principle changes how you read your own life. Small corrections are cheap. Big corrections are expensive — in time, money, and sometimes relationships you can't fully recover. **Audits, Compasses & Enough** Doing regular life audits — even a simple one with coffee and a journal twice a year — keeps the drift visible before it becomes irreversible. Having a compass (knowing where you actually want to go and what's non-negotiable) protects you from ending up wherever the wind takes you. And knowing what "enough" looks like for you personally keeps you from trading things that actually matter for things that won't satisfy. **Personal Principles & the Long Game** Three to five personal principles — not a long list, just a short one that you genuinely live by — become the needle on your compass when everything else is uncertain. And underneath all of it is the long game: small steps, done consistently, that compound over time. The person who exercises three times a week for twenty years is a different physical being than the person who does it sporadically. Consistency beats intensity every time. Pick one area today and ask yourself honestly: am I drifting? You don't have to fix everything. You just need to notice it. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

What does it actually mean to use AI and still feel like yourself? In this episode, Jill breaks down her personal approach to AI — not the flashy, let-it-do-everything version, but a quieter, more honest one. If you've ever felt uneasy about AI but couldn't quite explain why, this one's for you. Top Topics Covered: 1. Why AI Makes So Many of Us Uncomfortable It's usually not about being afraid of technology. Most people are really worried about three things: taking jobs from others, getting fed fake information, or pretending to be someone they're not. Naming that discomfort is the first step. 2. The "Jill Method" of Using AI Three simple rules for using AI without losing yourself: use it as a mirror, not a mask. Let it reflect your thinking back to you — not replace it. The moment it starts covering for you instead of clarifying you, that's the line. 3. AI Isn't New — We Just Didn't Call It That Remember when Amazon started suggesting books you might like? That was AI. It's been woven into our lives for a long time. What's changed is how smart and conversational it's become — not what it fundamentally is. 4. The Job Question Nobody Wants to Answer Yes, AI will change some jobs. The internet did too. But the internet also created millions of jobs no one could have imagined in 1990. History gives us reason to be cautious — and reason not to panic. 5. Using AI to Think Better, Not Less The best use of AI isn't outsourcing your ideas — it's sharpening them. Use it to find holes in your thinking, practice hard conversations, organize your thoughts, or understand something confusing. It's the assistant you could never afford to hire. Takeaway: This episode isn't anti-AI or blindly pro-AI. It's about finding your own honest middle ground. Tools don't steal your authorship — abdicating your thinking does. When AI helps you become a clearer, stronger version of yourself, that's exactly what it's for. And when it starts to feel like a mask? That's when Jill puts it down. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

What if the problem isn’t your budget—but your income? When cutting expenses isn’t enough, it’s time to rethink how money actually works. This episode breaks down practical, realistic ways to earn more without burning out. Episode Title When Budgeting Isn’t Enough: How to Earn More Without Working Yourself to Death Episode Summary This episode wraps up a multi-part series on money by shifting the focus from cutting expenses to increasing income. After learning how to budget, categorize spending, and manage money responsibly, the conversation turns to a hard truth: sometimes the math simply doesn’t work without earning more. Drawing from personal experience and insights inspired by Tiffany Aliche and How to Get Good with Money, the episode explores why income is tied to value, replaceability, and visibility—not effort alone. It reframes earning more money as a strategic, skill-based process rather than a moral judgment or measure of self-worth. Top Topics Covered Why Working Harder Isn’t the Answer The episode explains why long hours and exhaustion don’t automatically translate into higher pay. Income is connected to market value, how specialized a role is, and how easily someone can be replaced. Understanding this removes shame and helps people think more clearly about their options. Asking for a Raise—With Evidence Rather than emotional appeals, raises should be approached with data. A “brag folder” becomes a powerful tool for tracking accomplishments, customer impact, time saved, and problems solved. This evidence makes performance visible and reduces anxiety during reviews and salary conversations. Becoming Harder to Replace Learning one critical skill deeply can change an entire career trajectory. Specialization, not job titles or degrees, often creates leverage. The episode highlights how focusing on overlooked problems or difficult tasks can dramatically increase stability and income. Recognizing Hidden Skills Skills aren’t just technical. Teaching, organizing, calming upset people, troubleshooting, and managing projects all carry real value. Personal life experiences—like leading volunteers or handling conflict—count and can be translated into paid work. Side Hustles That Don’t Drain Your Life Side income doesn’t have to mean building an empire. The episode explores low-setup, low-stress options that align with existing strengths, from short-term projects to platform-based work that fits into real life. Key Takeaways Making more money isn’t mysterious—it’s strategic. Income grows when skills, needs, and visibility align. The most powerful step is taking responsibility for understanding personal value and learning how to place it wisely. Whether through negotiating pay, building expertise, changing roles, or adding a small side income, progress comes from intentional, realistic action. When expenses can’t shrink further, increasing income becomes the other half of the equation—and it’s one that can be approached one small step at a time.

Money doesn’t just live in your bank account—it lives in your gut, your sleep, and your sense of safety. What if saving wasn’t about restriction, but about relief? This episode breaks down how emergency savings can completely change your relationship with money. In this episode, the conversation explores how deeply emotional money can be and how fear, panic, and avoidance often shape financial decisions more than logic ever does. Drawing from lived experience and insights from Get Good With Money by Tiffany Aliche, the discussion walks through practical, realistic ways to build emergency savings, reduce anxiety, and regain control. The focus isn’t on becoming wealthy overnight, but on creating stability, resilience, and peace of mind through intentional saving and smarter systems. Top Topics Covered The Emotional Cost of Money Money problems often show up as panic, dread, and sleepless nights. When bills arrive or emergencies hit, the lack of savings can trigger fear and avoidance. Understanding that money is emotional—not just mathematical—is the first step toward change. Emergency Savings and the “Squirrel” Mindset Emergency savings are framed as protection, not deprivation. Using the analogy of squirrels storing acorns during good times, the episode emphasizes saving when life is calm so emergencies don’t lead straight to debt and chaos. The Power of the First $1,000 Building even a small emergency fund can break the cycle of constant debt. Once there’s a buffer, unexpected expenses no longer require credit cards, and financial momentum finally begins to shift. The Noodle Budget A “noodle budget” identifies the bare minimum needed to survive if everything goes wrong. Knowing this number removes fear and clarifies how much flexibility actually exists in everyday spending. Automating Savings and Separating Accounts Automating savings and separating money into purpose-driven accounts removes decision fatigue and emotional stress. Bills get paid, savings grow quietly, and spending money becomes clear and guilt-free. Key Takeaways Emergency savings create calm, not limitation. Having money set aside reduces panic, improves sleep, and allows better decisions during crises. Over time, savings transform money from a source of fear into a tool for freedom. Priorities matter more than appearances. By focusing on what truly brings value—rather than constant small purchases—long-term goals like security, retirement, and meaningful experiences become possible. Money works best when it’s intentional and invisible. Systems that move money automatically make consistency easier than willpower ever could.

Money doesn’t have to feel scary, confusing, or overwhelming. It can become calm, clear, and even empowering. This is where learning to get good with money really begins. This episode begins a new series focused on building a healthier, calmer relationship with money. It explores how fear, avoidance, and past experiences shape financial behavior, and how learning simple, practical systems can replace panic with clarity. Drawing inspiration from the book Get Good With Money by Tiffany Aliche, the episode focuses on understanding money emotionally first, then practically, so long-term change can actually stick. Top Topics Covered Money and Emotional Stress Money is rarely just about numbers. Anxiety, fear, and avoidance often come from early life experiences and repeated financial struggles. This episode explores how recognizing those emotional patterns is the first step toward changing them. Budgeting Without Panic Budgeting is reframed as awareness, not restriction. Instead of obsessing over every dollar, the focus is on simply understanding what comes in, what goes out, and where money actually lives. Knowledge replaces fear when money stops being a mystery. Simple Categories That Create Control Expenses are broken into clear groups—fixed bills, usage-based bills, and flexible spending. Seeing money this way makes it easier to identify where change is possible without feeling deprived or overwhelmed. Systems That Support Real Life Automation, multiple accounts, and separating bill money from spending money help reduce stress and protect progress. These systems aren’t about perfection—they’re about creating guardrails that make consistency easier. Key Takeaways Getting good with money starts by removing shame. Past mistakes don’t need to be relived or punished—they just need to be acknowledged and left behind. Progress comes from moving forward with better information, not perfect behavior. Money improves when it becomes neutral. Like cleaning up a spill with a towel, financial missteps don’t require panic or self-judgment. They require calm action and follow-through. A healthy relationship with money creates stability, confidence, and peace of mind. Wealth isn’t the first goal—emotional safety is. When fear is removed, better financial decisions naturally follow.

We explore the power of listening to tough life stories—not to compare pain, but to understand human endurance, build compassion, and rediscover resilience. From personal family history to generational trauma and wisdom, the episode invites us to step beyond our own moment and tap into the deep well of human experience. By hearing how others have navigated impossible situations, we gain perspective—and a path forward. Top Topics Covered: 1. The Story That Sparked It All A reflection on the host’s grandmother who lived through extraordinary hardship—from immigration to loss, poverty, and displacement. Discovering her story through research led to a deeper appreciation of what past generations survived and why those stories matter. 2. Why Our Struggles Feel So Heavy Our suffering often feels unique and overwhelming, not because it’s worse—but because it’s all we know. Without knowledge of the past, we miss out on the wisdom and perspective of those who lived through hardship with far fewer resources. 3. Pain Is Not a Competition Acknowledging the suffering of others doesn’t erase our own. Instead, it grounds us in shared human experience and helps us carry our own burdens with more context and humility. 4. Generational Resilience and Lessons Each generation faced its own form of chaos, danger, and uncertainty—from the Great Depression to nuclear war anxiety, to Gen Z’s digital saturation. Understanding this helps bridge divides and connects us through shared struggle, not blame. 5. Where to Find Real Stories If you didn’t grow up hearing these stories firsthand, they’re still out there: in your community, your church, libraries, senior centers, volunteer work, or even through memoirs and biographies. Real people, real wisdom. Takeaways: This episode isn’t about dismissing modern pain—it’s about expanding our lens. The quiet strength of people who had no roadmap, no information, and no guarantees is deeply instructive. We aren’t the first to face hard times, and we don’t have to figure it out alone. When we connect with others—across generations, cultures, and stories—we discover that human resilience is not extraordinary; it's ordinary people doing the next right thing. We learn to act even when we’re afraid. To take small steps, like those before us. And to remember that strength doesn’t come from avoiding pressure—it comes from walking through it. Their stories shape our own, if we choose to listen.

265: The Power of Pretending: How Psychological Halloweenism Can Improve Your Life In this episode, we explore a fascinating and unexpected idea: pretending your way into better choices. It might sound counterintuitive, especially in a culture that champions authenticity. But what if tapping into a different persona, even temporarily, could make you braver, healthier, and more productive? Welcome to the concept of psychological Halloweenism—the practice of stepping outside your own identity to access traits you need in the moment. Inspired by a quote from Jim Henson—“Life’s like a movie. Write your own ending. Keep believing. Keep pretending.”—this episode dives into how adopting a different mindset or character can push us toward growth and better decision-making. Top Topics in This Episode 1. The Science of Pretending and the Brain's Role Pretending isn’t about being fake—it’s about gaining perspective. When we imagine how someone else would approach a problem, the brain pulls from our own experiences and merges them with that imagined personality. This creates mental distance from our usual behavior patterns, helping us think and act in new, more productive ways. 2. Lessons from Childhood: Halloween and Beyond Kids know this intuitively—put on a superhero costume and suddenly they’re bold and unstoppable. That confidence boost doesn’t have to be limited to childhood. Adults can benefit from stepping into different roles too, whether it’s through visualization, intentional behavior changes, or playful role-play. 3. Psychological Halloweenism in Action We look at a 2016 study that showed how pretending to be someone else—like a narrow-minded librarian or a creative poet—helped people think more creatively. The specific persona didn’t matter; what mattered was getting outside their default mindset. 4. Real-Life Role Models and Borrowed Traits From imagining a friend who’s super organized to channeling a bold, assertive personality in tough situations, you’ll hear practical stories about using alter egos to face challenges. Whether it’s Grocery Shopping Jill, a fictional rule-setter who keeps spending in check, or a fitness-minded adventurer friend, these personas offer clarity and motivation. 5. Power Poses and the Missed Message We revisit the infamous “power pose” concept, not as a failed body language trick, but as an example of missing the point. It wasn’t the pose that created confidence—it was the story and persona behind it that mattered. Without imagination and internal narrative, the magic falls flat. 6. Odysseus and Rule-Based Self-Control Drawing inspiration from Greek mythology, the episode illustrates how we can create systems to protect ourselves from our own impulses. Just as Odysseus tied himself to the mast to resist the sirens, we can adopt personas that follow pre-set rules to avoid self-sabotage. Key Takeaways Sometimes, we need to borrow courage, discipline, or creativity. Pretending to be someone who already has the traits we lack in the moment can help us overcome inertia, make better choices, and reach our goals. This doesn’t fracture your identity—it builds a bridge to the person you want to become. Whether it's Grocery Shopping Jill, a fearless adventurer, or a highly organized roommate, those alter egos can be powerful guides. Using psychological Halloweenism gives us a break from self-judgment, allowing action and growth where there might otherwise be resistance. Pretending, far from being fake, can be one of the most authentic steps toward change. So the next time you're stuck, ask: Who would handle this better? Then, pretend you’re them—just long enough to take the next right step. This episode is your invitation to explore what it means to grow through imagination and intentional identity-shifting. Who might you become—if only for a moment—to move forward in your...

Getting to Yes with Yourself: The Art of Inner Negotiation In this episode, we explore one of the most underrated yet powerful skills in personal growth: learning how to negotiate with yourself. Drawing inspiration from William Ury’s book Getting to Yes with Yourself, we unpack the internal barriers that often sabotage our goals—not external resistance, but the silent friction within. Whether it’s sticking to a health plan, changing careers, or taking time off, the hardest “yes” to get is often from ourselves. This episode offers practical insights into self-awareness, emotional honesty, and the tools of effective internal dialogue. It's about learning to listen to your true needs, treating yourself with empathy, and crafting realistic solutions when life doesn’t go as planned. Top Topics Covered: 1. The Hardest Person to Convince is You We often think the struggle lies in convincing others—our boss, our family, or our friends—but in truth, the biggest obstacle is internal. This episode opens with the reminder that we must first believe in our decisions before we can pursue meaningful change. The first "yes" must always come from within. 2. Understanding BATNA: Your Backup Plan A key negotiation concept, BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement), is explored through a personal lens. If your original plan—like taking an expensive vacation—falls through, what’s your alternative? Maybe it’s a cozy weekend in the woods. We discuss how to turn a “not now” into a satisfying “instead.” 3. Listening to What You Really Need What looks like a luxury car might actually be about needing safety. What sounds like a dream vacation might just be a cry for rest. By taking a step back—or going “to the balcony” as Ury calls it—we can see the deeper emotional drivers behind our surface-level goals. 4. Facing Old Fears and Updating Them Much of our resistance to change comes from outdated fears. We dive into how these past experiences show up in new contexts, often holding us back. The goal isn’t to dismiss the fear but to acknowledge it, understand its origin, and gently update it based on current reality. 5. From WATNA to Minimum Viable Progress The episode also introduces WATNA (Worst Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) and how to redefine “failure.” Sometimes, the smallest action—like a 10-minute workout—is still a win if it keeps you moving. It’s about flexibility, compassion, and defining the bare minimum you can accept without giving up. Key Takeaways: Negotiating with yourself isn’t about tricking yourself into doing hard things—it’s about respect. Real change doesn’t come from bullying yourself into action but from having honest, thoughtful conversations with your inner self. You’ll learn that getting a “yes” from yourself starts by recognizing your true needs, challenging outdated beliefs, and being flexible enough to find the next best solution. This episode will inspire you to rethink how you make decisions and how to create a path forward even when the ideal solution isn’t possible. It’s not about perfection—it’s about progress that sticks. Whether you're trying to improve your health, make a big life shift, or simply feel less stuck, the art of internal negotiation might just be your most valuable tool. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://startwithsmallsteps.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

In this episode of Start With Small Steps, we explore why so many New Year’s resolutions fall apart just weeks into January—and how to make lasting changes instead. This isn’t about motivation hacks or dramatic transformations. It’s about starting where you are and making your goals achievable every day, even on your worst days. We’ll break down why giant goals often fail and how shrinking the entry point can lead to real, sustainable progress. Whether you’re hoping to get healthier, become more consistent with prayer or writing, or simply want a better routine, this episode provides practical advice to help you build habits that last. Top Topics: Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Fail We begin by recognizing the common trap of high-intensity resolutions—new planners, intense workouts, strict diets—that often fizzle out by mid-January. This failure isn’t about laziness or lack of discipline. It’s usually about starting too big, too fast, without any on-ramp or plan for consistency. The Power of Starting Small Small steps aren’t about lowering your standards—they’re about making your goals actually doable. Whether it’s reading one page a day, putting on workout clothes without requiring yourself to exercise, or eating one extra vegetable, these steps reduce friction and bypass resistance. Your brain doesn’t fight small goals. Consistency Over Perfection The core habit matters more than performance. Instead of tracking everything or aiming for high metrics, the focus should be on doing something most days—even if it’s small. This creates momentum and makes it easier to jump back in after setbacks. How to Design Sustainable Habits You’ll learn three practical rules: 1) Start from where you are now. 2) Shrink your habit until it fits your worst day. 3) Separate the habit of practice from perfect performance. It’s not about running fast—it’s about running consistently and learning what works for you. Making It Work for Your Personality Different people succeed in different ways. For some, writing goals in a journal is powerful. For others, like Jill, visual cues like post-it notes or image boards throughout the house are more effective. The goal is to find what works best for you—and stick with it. Key Takeaways: Start with one or two areas that would make the biggest difference in your life and build around that. Don’t try to fix everything at once. A single paragraph, one prayer, a quick walk, or five minutes of effort can grow into meaningful transformation over time. The real secret? Create habits so small and easy that you’ll do them even on your worst days. Focus less on the impressive and more on the consistent. You don’t need a perfect plan or a fancy setup—just a realistic, manageable action you’re willing to repeat. Start today, start small, and keep going. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://startwithsmallsteps.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational...

Episode 262 – How to Stop Blowing Things Out of Proportion In this episode, we’re talking about something all of us struggle with: keeping perspective. Our minds are wired to detect danger, but that often means we blow small things way out of proportion while simultaneously ignoring real issues that truly deserve our attention. The episode explores how our brains misclassify urgency and importance, and how that can quietly sabotage our peace, health, and even our relationships. From missed emails to health warnings, from unreturned texts to loud notifications, the brain often spirals into stress mode. But not everything is a crisis—and learning how to properly categorize problems can help us avoid unnecessary suffering and focus on what actually matters. This is a learned skill, not a personality trait, and it’s one we can all improve with intentional thought and calm practice. The Mind’s Misclassification System Our brains aren’t wired for truth—they’re wired for survival. That means we often inflate small inconveniences into full-blown emergencies and ignore critical but quiet signals. Whether it’s eye health affected by early diabetes or financial dangers masked by everyday distractions, we learn how to distinguish real threats from perceived ones. The Urgent vs Important Grid Drawing from frameworks like the Franklin-Covey model, the episode shows how urgency often drowns out importance. Trash day might be urgent, but your health may be quietly deteriorating in the background. Learning to prioritize whispering “important” tasks over shouting “urgent” ones can dramatically shift your stress levels. Learning the Art of Proper Scaling By asking practical questions like “Will this matter in a year?” or “Is this truly irreversible?”, we begin to deflate the balloon of anxiety. Most so-called catastrophes are just discomforts in disguise. The power of reframing through small questions and honest labeling is highlighted as a method to regain peace and focus. Physical and Emotional Reset Techniques Crisis often feels like chaos, but many stress reactions can be calmed with simple physical resets—taking a walk, unclenching your jaw, or breathing deeply. Physical grounding helps mental recalibration and reduces exaggerated thinking. Using Repairability and Delayed Judgment One powerful trick: delay the conclusion. Just because something feels overwhelming now doesn’t mean it’s permanent. Asking “Is this repairable?” and “What’s the next best step?” helps avoid spiraling and puts situations back into manageable scope. 🧠 Takeaways Perspective is not a natural state—it’s a practice. Every moment we react with panic, we miss the opportunity to respond with clarity. Most things that feel like disasters are just stress in disguise. Not every email needs your soul, not every mistake defines your worth, and not every bad day equals a bad life. The key is learning how to scale things back to their true size and practicing this regularly—especially in moments of calm. By shifting from catastrophizing to curious questioning, we become more grounded, more compassionate with ourselves, and more focused on the things that truly matter. Practicing perspective means reclaiming our peace, our energy, and our lives from the chaos of constant urgency. This episode is a guide, a conversation, and a reminder that you can return to balance—one small, thoughtful step at a time. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://startwithsmallsteps.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

The Doors of Possibility – Living with the Gift of Maybe In this episode, I explore how uncertainty, instead of being our enemy, can actually be our greatest source of growth. Inspired by The Gift of Maybe by Allison Carmen, I reflect on how we can shift our mindset from fear and rigidity to curiosity and openness—one small step at a time. I share a few tools that have changed my life, especially when facing uncertainty or big decisions. These aren’t complex frameworks but simple, powerful mental exercises that invite peace, clarity, and even joy into difficult or confusing situations. Top Topics Discussed The Door of Visualization I explain how imagining life decisions as “doors” can give us clarity we didn’t even know we had. Our bodies often know what we want before our minds do. This tool helps us listen to that inner wisdom. The Elevator of Maybe When things feel overwhelming, this mental image of an elevator gives us a pause from overthinking. It’s a neutral space—where no assumptions exist—and it helps us return to the present moment. Breaking the Routine with Small Shifts Sometimes, it’s not about grand gestures. I share how changing my morning routine opened up more joy and freedom in my life. Tiny acts of “maybe” lead to massive internal change. The Possibility Journal I talk about how this tool helps track “what if” experiments in life, from trying new habits to breaking old thought patterns. It’s a gentle, low-pressure way to embrace growth. Takeaways The biggest takeaway from this episode is that we don’t need to have all the answers. Life is unpredictable. But within that unpredictability lies opportunity. When we stop catastrophizing and start experimenting—even a little—we invite transformation. Fear is often loud, but it isn’t always true. Maybe helps us pause, breathe, and take the next small step. Whether you’re starting something new or stuck in a familiar loop, just asking “what if” can be the beginning of a better path. The tools shared in this episode—doors, elevators, journals—are just ways to bring more awareness to our thoughts and feelings. They’re invitations to stop running from uncertainty and start living within it, fully and with hope. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://startwithsmallsteps.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

The Shadow Isn't the Monster: Embracing the Gift of Maybe In this episode, we explore the emotional toll of uncertainty and how it often tricks us into believing disaster is inevitable. But what if the worst-case scenario isn’t guaranteed? What if uncertainty isn’t the enemy, but a doorway to possibility? We reflect on The Gift of Maybe by Allison Carmen and how a single word—“maybe”—can shift the way we handle fear and the unknown. Through a deeply personal story of a cancer scare, we see how even the most terrifying experiences can lead to unexpectedly positive outcomes. How Fear Amplifies Uncertainty Fear takes small problems and casts them as massive threats. This discussion opens with relatable examples—like horror movie shadows—to show how our minds exaggerate what we don’t understand. Overplanning and the Illusion of Control We often try to outrun fear by planning every possible outcome. But all the preparation in the world doesn’t ease uncertainty. It just makes us live the fear twice. “Maybe” as a Mental Reset Inspired by The Gift of Maybe, we explore how using the word “maybe” softens negative thinking and creates space for hope without forcing optimism. Challenging Your Inner Narrator That dramatic voice in your head predicting doom? It’s not always telling the truth. We talk about how to gently challenge it and ask the simple but profound question: “Are you sure?” Takeaways: When we stop trying to be certain and start allowing space for the unknown, we give life a chance to surprise us. Maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem. Maybe there’s a better ending ahead. Maybe, just maybe, you don’t know the whole story yet. Let’s start doubting our doubts. Let’s start listening less to the fear-driven narrator and more to possibility. After all, most of the blessings in life didn’t come from certainty—they came from the unexpected. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://startwithsmallsteps.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

Escaping the Certainty Trap: Revisiting “The Gift of Maybe” In this episode, I explore how the desire for comfort and security can slowly become a trap. Inspired by The Gift of Maybe by Allison Carmen, this story is both personal and universal—how striving for a safe life can quietly limit our growth, and how a single word—“maybe”—can help us shift our mindset, challenge our fear, and open up to new possibilities. I reflect on my own life, particularly how after years of chaos in my childhood, I worked hard to create a life of comfort: a stable job, predictable routines, a peaceful home. But when faced with a seemingly perfect job opportunity, I froze. The change triggered panic, not because it was wrong, but because it threatened my carefully controlled world. That’s when The Gift of Maybe entered my life. What started as a book I planned to review for the podcast unexpectedly turned into a mirror I wasn’t prepared to look into. The author’s story mirrored mine—how unexpected change can become transformative, even when it first feels like loss. Comfort as a Hidden Trap: Comfort can build slowly, through routines and security, until it becomes a prison of predictability. I explore how this happened in my own life and how I didn’t notice it creeping in until change knocked on the door. Addiction to Certainty: Certainty feels safe, but it’s an illusion. I discuss how we can become overly attached to control, resisting anything that disrupts our expectations—even when it’s a good thing. The Power of “Maybe”: The word “maybe” isn’t indecision—it’s possibility. Inspired by Allison Carmen’s work, I talk about how shifting our mindset can help us embrace change without fear. Takeaways from the Episode: This episode is a reminder that certainty isn’t always the prize we think it is. When we cling too tightly to stability, we shrink our world. “Maybe” gives us the space to grow again. It’s okay to feel fear, but don’t let it make your life smaller. You can take small, brave steps toward a more expansive life. If your life feels safe but stagnant, maybe it’s time to consider what possibilities you’ve been avoiding—and maybe, just maybe, it’s time to say yes to something new. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://startwithsmallsteps.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

Feel Better in Five: Small Changes That Make a Big Difference In this episode, we’re revisiting the powerful teachings from Feel Better in Five by Dr. Rangan Chatterjee. It’s a book that has resonated deeply because of its practical, compassionate approach to health. Instead of aiming for massive lifestyle overhauls, Chatterjee introduces a system of five-minute “health snacks”—simple, actionable steps that make caring for your mind, body, and heart accessible to everyone. The Health Snack Philosophy We break down the core concept of health snacks—tiny five-minute actions designed to reduce stress, improve focus, and boost energy. These aren't big changes, but they’re consistent, achievable steps that can truly shift your well-being over time. Three Pillars of Well-Being: Mind, Body, Heart This episode explores how wellness isn’t just about physical fitness. We look at how small practices—like deep breathing, stretching, or emotional check-ins—can rejuvenate not just the body, but also your mental clarity and emotional resilience. Health Recipes and Customization Dr. Chatterjee’s idea of “recipes” that combine mind, body, and heart actions is a game-changer. Whether you're dealing with anxiety, low energy, or back pain, pairing specific actions together creates powerful results. And you’re encouraged to create your own. Practical Applications in Daily Life From watching calming nature videos to going for quick walks, we talk about real-life examples of how these tiny practices can become sustainable habits. The point isn’t to be perfect—it’s to be present and intentional. Takeaways: This episode is a reminder that taking care of yourself doesn’t require a gym membership or a full-day retreat. It can start with five mindful minutes. By embracing small actions and dropping perfectionism, you build momentum and confidence in your ability to support your health. You’ll come away with ideas for crafting your own personal “health snack” routine, recognizing patterns in your day when a quick mental, physical, or emotional reset can make a real difference. This isn’t about doing everything right—it’s about doing something kind for yourself, every day. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://startwithsmallsteps.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.