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Episodes

Episode 17 - Imprisonment (Part One): Cruel By Today's Standards

8/15/2018
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Episode 17 everyone! This week, we go in-depth with humanity's history of imprisonment. Come learn about how son's could pay for the crimes of their fathers in ancient Mesopotamia, the sewer dungeons of Rome, the difference between medieval Italian and German prisons, and the 'Bloody Code' of England. As always, it gets kind of gross. Sources: https://www.ancient-origins.net/history-ancient-traditions/prisons-and-imprisonment-ancient-world-punishments-used-maintain-public-020588...

Duration:00:55:01

Episode 16 - Disgusting Jobs: An Empire Built on Pee

8/6/2018
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Psst, hey kids...wanna learn something gross? I hope so, because this week's episode is all about dooky. Find out how humans throughout history have cleaned up feces, stretched out innards, robbed graves, turned bones into baby chew-toys, and checked on the health of their king by methodically checking their leavings. Honestly, I don't know how this show continues to get more disgusting week-to-week. It is a real accomplishment. Sources: https://www.bbc.com/news/business-35958730...

Duration:00:57:49

Special Guest Episode 1 - Science Deniers: Everyone's Bigfoot

7/30/2018
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Welcome to our first Special Guest Episode! This week we are bringing in our friend Nathanael, an expert in all things weird. In this episode we discuss the history of science denial and its implications across the years. Come hear about anti-vaxers (dumb), those who thing aliens built the pyramids (dumb), cryptids (awesome and dumb), and Skinwalker Ranch (totally real). It gets esoteric (i.e. really damn weird).

Duration:00:44:10

Episode 15 - Sexually Transmitted Diseases: Soup Can Condom

7/22/2018
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We are back with a regular show (finally)! This week, prepare to be grossed out as we cover humanity's history with sexually transmitted diseases and all the really dumb ways we have tried to cure them (mercury poisoning incoming!). Follow us as we take you from the Egyptian injections of sandalwood oil into your urethra, Leviticus' slightly unorthodox method of treating gonorrhea, and the return of that old stand-by: Leeches! Seriously, it is really disgusting. Sources: The Bible (for real)...

Duration:00:51:35

Mini-Episode 3 - Short Faced Bear: Nature's Great Wall

7/9/2018
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Mike is gone again so this week Lincoln is bringing you another short episode, this time about that slayer of men and bringer of pain...the Short Faced Bear. Come along on this quick journey as we explore this monstrous creature and the consequences faced as it ran into another great predator: Man! (Cue 'Bambi' hunter theme). It will be a violent delight. Sources: https://www.livescience.com/2747-caveman-modern-human-win-olympic-gold.html...

Duration:00:12:24

Episode 14 - Construction: Good Job, Slaves!

6/24/2018
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Welcome to this week's full-fledged episode! This week, we cover a user-requested topic...Construction! Follow along as we go from the Paleolithic to modern times as we talk about mud bricks, Roman concrete, massive safety lapses, and the pitiable life of the slaves used to build everything from ziggaruts to the Colosseum. Sources: https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/careers/2018/01/09/workplace-fatalities-25-most-dangerous-jobs-america/1002500001/...

Duration:01:07:02

Mini-Episode 2 - Cryptids: Cat-Faced Worms

6/18/2018
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We got a short one for you this week since we were done a host, but it is a good one. Lincoln goes over the history of cryptids and covers some of the more ridiculous ones from throughout time. Want to learn about man-eating trees, giant cat-faced lizards, and the vicious, man-eating, Irish river otter? Then you've come to the right place. Sources: http://cryptidz.wikia.com/wiki/History_of_Cryptozoology_Timeline https://io9.gizmodo.com/5814976/cryptids-that-turned-out-be-absolutely-real...

Duration:00:13:41

Episode 13 - Travel (Part Four): Death Balloons

6/10/2018
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The final episode of our series on travel has arrived! This week we go over the relatively recent history of successful air travel while covering those lovable idiots who tried (and failed) to fly in times past. Follow along as we discuss the deadly year of 1985, the idiocy of using hydrogen in your rigid air ships, Germans bombing infants, and much more. Sources: https://science.howstuffworks.com/transport/flight/classic/ten-bungled-flight-attempt1.htm...

Duration:00:55:34

Episode 12 - Travel (Part Three): Drowned While on Fire

6/3/2018
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Part three is here! This week, we get into the nitty gritty of trains and cars as we examine the horrifying job of stopping trains with big sticks, exploding Sunday School kids, the death traps that are early cars, and Ford's unwillingness to spend more than a few cents to keep its customers from burning to death. It is a lot of fun. Sources: http://oldphotoarchive.com/stories/train-travel-in-the-1800s-15-photos/4...

Duration:00:58:58

Episode 11 - Travel (Part Two): Sunburned to Death

5/29/2018
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Welcome to Part Two of our series covering travel! This week, we go over humanity's long relationship with the sea as we cover early mariners and their crappy boats, piracy, kamikaze, scurvy, and sea monsters! Come learn about Julius Caesar's encounter with pirates in his younger days and see how he earned his reputation for ruthlessness early, the turnabout naval captain William Kidd, the British refusing to take practical advice from a Scottish guy, and how WWI U-Boats kept having...

Duration:01:20:42

Episode 10 - Travel (Part One): Oxen Roofs

5/21/2018
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Episode 10! This week, we have part one of our first multi-part episode and the topic is about traveling. For this one, we are going to talk about hoofing it...literally. Come along as we talk about leaving grandma to the wolves because you had to follow the herds, the danger of horse archers, the drunken little people of the Pony Express, and the Native American's favorite form of 19th century entertainment: Watching ill-prepared white people drown themselves, shoot their families, and use...

Duration:01:06:14

Episode 9 - Inbreeding: A Rich Tradition of Xenophobia

5/13/2018
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Hey, welcome back everyone! We were both sick with the plaque so we missed last week, but we are here now to cover everyone's favorite RedTube category: Incest! Follow along as we discuss the walking nightmare that was King Tut, the surprising beauty of Cleopatra, and the sheer amount of intermarriage that went on among European royalty. It gets weird. Sources: http://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/885/20130319/fossils-found-china-show-evidence-inbreeding-early-humans.htm...

Duration:01:01:41

Episode 8 - Combat Sports: Knight Kebab

5/2/2018
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Episode 8 is here! This week, we cover the history and variance of humanity's obsession with combat sports. From stick fighting in Africa, the arena and Rome, and eye-gouging in the Old South, this one has it all. Learn about Milo of Croton and the Ancient Greek fighter who destroyed a school after losing a fight, the 9,000 animals killed in the Roman Coliseum in a single day, and the story of a poor doctor who got his eye plucked from his socket, Kill Bill style. Sources:...

Duration:01:24:19

Episode 7 - Drug Use: Meth Nazis

4/23/2018
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4/20 blaze it, Y'all! Ok, that's enough of that...welcome to Episode 7 everybody. In this episode, we cover the long history of humans ingesting things for the singular reason of getting high. Follow us as we venture to Ancient Greece and their mysteries, medieval monks getting stoned for Jesus, ergot poisoning everywhere, and cover the hilarious Opium Wars! Sorry, did I say hilarious? I meant awful. Sources: http://www.advancedholistichealth.org/history.html...

Duration:00:57:34

Episode 6 - Hygiene: Communal Corn Cob

4/15/2018
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Welcome back, listeners! In this episode of Everything's Just Fine we cover this stinky, dooky-covered history of hygiene. Find out about how wiping was a particularly dirt affair, the issues with going to a Roman bath with an open wound, and the mountains of feces and horse corpses that would accumulate in the streets of many medieval and early-modern cities. Bring your nosegays...things are going to get gross.

Duration:00:55:40

Episode 5 - Technological Unemployment: Machines of Flesh and Blood

4/9/2018
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They're taking our jobs! And they always have been! Welcome to Episode Five everyone! This week we take a look at the long history of machines - be they advanced robots or an inclined plane - taking the jobs of the hardworking men and women of the historical world. Come learn about Eli Whitney and his goddamn cotton gin, how the Romans almost had an industrial revolution over 2,000 years ago, and humanity itself: "the machines of flesh and blood". Sources:...

Duration:00:48:16

Mini-Episode 1 - April Fool's Day: Spaghetti Trees

4/1/2018
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Lincoln is in the sunny land of Florida, so this week we present to you a short episode featuring Mike. Listen in as he goes through a quick history of some of the most sadistic, hilarious, and clever April Fool's pranks in history.

Duration:00:10:13

Episode 2 - Corpse Disposal: Highway Burial

3/11/2018
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In this episode of 'Everything's Just Fine' we take a trip down memory lane as we talk about the long, sordid history of getting rid of human remains. Come with us as we discuss tree coffins, flushing yourself into your local water supply, and the new tradition we made up: Highway Burial. Trust us, it is going to be huge. Sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_burial https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plague_pit http://spartacus-educational.com/FWWrats.htm...

Duration:00:45:31

Episode 1 - Food: Bacon, Hardtack, and Infant Mortality

3/3/2018
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Episode One of 'Everything's Just Fine' is here! Join us as we talk about the horrors of hunting prehistoric monsters, crippling malnutrition, cannibalism, ridiculous sugar sculptures, and the royalty of medieval Europe having meat-blocked bowels. Sources: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3257829/ http://hbnshow.com/articles/basics-health/history-of-food/ https://www.amazon.com/Food-Antiquity-Survey-Early-Peoples/dp/0801857406 http://pengzi.maruzen.com/ian/m_europe/15food.htm...

Duration:01:03:39