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Episodes

Episode 23 - Severe Weather: Spinny Cloudy Thing

9/24/2018
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Welcome back everyone! This week, we get topical as we cover weather! We'll talk about how extreme weather led to some civilizations collapsing, the Japanese getting saved by a divine wind, the English getting saved by a Protestant Wind, and a tornado so large people thought it was fog rolling in. It is actually terrifying to think about. And yes, I did watch 'Twister' immediately after recording this episode. Sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Climate_of_Ancient_Rome...

Duration:01:04:13

Episode 22 - Communication: Roman Vuvuzelas

9/17/2018
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Welcome to a less gore-filled episode of Everything's Just Fine! This week, we cover the history of communication, from the beacon fires of Gondor...I mean Europe, to the modern convenience of the cell phone. Also, the first phone call in history was real lame. Sources: https://www.wired.com/2008/03/dayintech-0310/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drums_in_communication http://www.hellenicaworld.com/Greece/ImagesGR/StentorophonicTube.jpg https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_bell...

Duration:01:02:41

Episode 21 - Executions (Part Two): Party Foul

9/10/2018
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Welcome to the final part of our series on executions! While it will be hard to top death by elephant, the methods we cover this week may be even more cruel. We'll learn about the Roman way of punishing mutiny, giant wheels and the men who used them, the Assyrian penchant for removing skin, and the terror of the Brazen Bull. Once again, it gets kind of gross: Sources: http://www.historyrundown.com/10-most-cruel-execution-methods-of-all-time/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scaphism...

Duration:01:05:53

Episode 20 - Executions (Part One): Why Would The Elephant God Allow This?

9/3/2018
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20 episodes! Wow! Great job everybody. This week, we have the first part of our episode on executions. We start simple with classics such as stoning and beheading but we soon move into more imaginative territory. Come along as we go over the excruciating Death by 1,000 Cuts, the Salem Witch-era Crushing (More Weight!), Throwing to the Ashes, Crucifixion, and the morbid - but hilarious - execution by elephant. Man, we really cannot stop screwing over the pachyderms. Sources:...

Duration:01:05:59

Episode 19 - Imprisonment (Part Three): Rectal Knives

8/26/2018
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Welcome to the final part of our series on prisons. This week we cover the unmitigated disaster that is America's prison system. From Civil War prisons, jails in Yuma, accidental decapitations, to the current gang-plagued halls of places like Pelican Bay, we go over quite a bit in our quest to find out where it all went wrong (COUGH *War on Drugs* COUGH). This one may make you a little mad. Sources: http://www.history.org/foundation/journal/summer11/prison.cfm...

Duration:01:21:57

Episode 18 - Imprisonment (Part Two): A High of -42°C

8/19/2018
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We are back with Part Two of our series on prisons. This week we cover the start of everyone's favorite penal colony (Australia), talk about the epidemic of Vampire Bats on Devil's Island, explore the cruelty and cold of Tsarists prisons and Soviet Gulags, and remind everyone why the Nazis were just the worst. Sources: https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/first-australian-penal-colony-established http://www.prisonhistory.net/famous-prisons/devils-island/...

Duration:01:00:15

Episode 17 - Imprisonment (Part One): Cruel By Today's Standards

8/15/2018
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Episode 17 everyone! This week, we go in-depth with humanity's history of imprisonment. Come learn about how son's could pay for the crimes of their fathers in ancient Mesopotamia, the sewer dungeons of Rome, the difference between medieval Italian and German prisons, and the 'Bloody Code' of England. As always, it gets kind of gross. Sources: https://www.ancient-origins.net/history-ancient-traditions/prisons-and-imprisonment-ancient-world-punishments-used-maintain-public-020588...

Duration:00:55:01

Episode 9 - Inbreeding: A Rich Tradition of Xenophobia

5/13/2018
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Hey, welcome back everyone! We were both sick with the plaque so we missed last week, but we are here now to cover everyone's favorite RedTube category: Incest! Follow along as we discuss the walking nightmare that was King Tut, the surprising beauty of Cleopatra, and the sheer amount of intermarriage that went on among European royalty. It gets weird. Sources: http://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/885/20130319/fossils-found-china-show-evidence-inbreeding-early-humans.htm...

Duration:01:01:41

Episode 8 - Combat Sports: Knight Kebab

5/2/2018
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Episode 8 is here! This week, we cover the history and variance of humanity's obsession with combat sports. From stick fighting in Africa, the arena and Rome, and eye-gouging in the Old South, this one has it all. Learn about Milo of Croton and the Ancient Greek fighter who destroyed a school after losing a fight, the 9,000 animals killed in the Roman Coliseum in a single day, and the story of a poor doctor who got his eye plucked from his socket, Kill Bill style. Sources:...

Duration:01:24:19

Episode 7 - Drug Use: Meth Nazis

4/23/2018
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4/20 blaze it, Y'all! Ok, that's enough of that...welcome to Episode 7 everybody. In this episode, we cover the long history of humans ingesting things for the singular reason of getting high. Follow us as we venture to Ancient Greece and their mysteries, medieval monks getting stoned for Jesus, ergot poisoning everywhere, and cover the hilarious Opium Wars! Sorry, did I say hilarious? I meant awful. Sources: http://www.advancedholistichealth.org/history.html...

Duration:00:57:34

Episode 6 - Hygiene: Communal Corn Cob

4/15/2018
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Welcome back, listeners! In this episode of Everything's Just Fine we cover this stinky, dooky-covered history of hygiene. Find out about how wiping was a particularly dirty affair, the issues with going to a Roman bath with an open wound, and the mountains of feces and horse corpses that would accumulate in the streets of many medieval and early-modern cities. Bring your nosegays...things are going to get gross.

Duration:00:55:40

Episode 5 - Technological Unemployment: Machines of Flesh and Blood

4/9/2018
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They're taking our jobs! And they always have been! Welcome to Episode Five everyone! This week we take a look at the long history of machines - be they advanced robots or an inclined plane - taking the jobs of the hardworking men and women of the historical world. Come learn about Eli Whitney and his goddamn cotton gin, how the Romans almost had an industrial revolution over 2,000 years ago, and humanity itself: "the machines of flesh and blood". Sources:...

Duration:00:48:16

Mini-Episode 1 - April Fool's Day: Spaghetti Trees

4/1/2018
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Lincoln is in the sunny land of Florida, so this week we present to you a short episode featuring Mike. Listen in as he goes through a quick history of some of the most sadistic, hilarious, and clever April Fool's pranks in history.

Duration:00:10:13

Episode 4 - Dangerous Jobs: Toshers and Mudlarks

3/25/2018
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Hello everyone! We are back and this week it is all about some of the most dangerous jobs throughout history. Find out why people used to dig through raw sewage on the banks of the Thames, the propensity of donkeys exploding, and the contentious relationship between the Pony Express and their sworn enemies, the ox. It's a fun ride (not for the guy who hit the ox, though).

Duration:00:41:54

Episode 3 - Dentistry: Wolfmouth

3/21/2018
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Welcome to Episode 3! In this - what may be our most cringe-inducing episode yet - we cover the horror that is dental history. Join us as we talk about shoving hair into cavities, the multiple uses of beeswax, 'Waterloo Teeth', and our sneaking suspicion that George Washington did not pay for his fake chompers. Sources: http://www.ancient-origins.net/human-origins-science/jewel-capped-teeth-golden-bridges-9000-years-dentistry-001427 https://www.gentledental-mi.com/ancient-dentistry/...

Duration:00:47:23

Episode 2 - Corpse Disposal: Highway Burial

3/11/2018
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In this episode of 'Everything's Just Fine' we take a trip down memory lane as we talk about the long, sordid history of getting rid of human remains. Come with us as we discuss tree coffins, flushing yourself into your local water supply, and the new tradition we made up: Highway Burial. Trust us, it is going to be huge. Sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_burial https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plague_pit http://spartacus-educational.com/FWWrats.htm...

Duration:00:45:31

Episode 1 - Food: Bacon, Hardtack, and Infant Mortality

3/3/2018
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Episode One of 'Everything's Just Fine' is here! Join us as we talk about the horrors of hunting prehistoric monsters, crippling malnutrition, cannibalism, ridiculous sugar sculptures, and the royalty of medieval Europe having meat-blocked bowels. Sources: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3257829/ http://hbnshow.com/articles/basics-health/history-of-food/ https://www.amazon.com/Food-Antiquity-Survey-Early-Peoples/dp/0801857406 http://pengzi.maruzen.com/ian/m_europe/15food.htm...

Duration:01:03:39