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Ep. 22 House of Wax (2005) aka He’s a Greasy Degenerate and I Love Him

Nothing says “mid-2000s” like a movie starring Chad Michael Murray and Paris Hilton. This week we watched House of Wax; which really has nothing to do with the the original House of Wax, aside from, you know, wax. Join us as we watch an extended Scooby Doo episode featuring #noachilleshorror, Jen’s true love (Grunge Daddy), and - HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MUSIC?? Remember to subscribe and review before you split up and search for clues. Shout out - Wit and Glitter Co. Stats/info: 2005,...


Ep. 21 Stay Alive aka Rose Law

Holy Hannah we survived our first live recording! I guess you could say we were able to...Stay...Alive….AYO. This week we recorded a live episode at Minneapolis Crypticon (thanks for letting us do a panel) and we go through 2006’s “Stay Alive.” We both consider this movie a nostalgia love but jeepers is it terrible. Join us as we discuss crunchy zombie children, ghost law, and a personality that matches a dining room hutch. Spare us one of your extra lives and leave us an Itunes...


Ep. 20 Nightmare on Elm Street aka How to Have Pizazz

HAPPY HALLOWEEN YA CREEPS. This week we wanted to address some information about our Podcast for new (or current listeners) and because you’re dealing with a Gemini and a Libra, you’re going to get it delivered two different ways. Don’t feel like joining in on the rant? That’s OK skip ahead to about 11:34 to get started on the actual content and why you listen! This week, on the spookiest week of the year we watch the classic “Nightmare on Elm Street” with our man F.K. Join us as we discuss...


Ep. 19 House on Haunted Hill (1999) aka It’s Actually a Hospital on a Cliff

*Cricket noises* This uh...this movie was not good. It wasn’t even so bad it was good. We watch 1999’s “House on Haunted Hill.” This movie scared the pants off Molly when she was a kid and holy guacamole did it not hold up. Join us as we discuss how it’s not a house (it’s a hospital), the big bads don’t make any sense, and how an entity made out of smoke can’t even go through a door. Subscribe and rate us on Itunes or you’ll be cursed to watch this movie on repeat for the rest of your...


Ep. 18 Gods of Egypt aka Bek-y With the Good Hair

The Kingslayer, Gerard Butler, and the kid from the Blue Lagoon remake walk into a bar. Oh, you thought that was a joke? Nope. That’s just a day on the set of Gods of Egypt. Shockingly, this movie features no Egyptian actors and A LOT of white people.This crap sack of a film brings us Indiana Jones rip offs (#onlythepenitentmanwillpass), video game one liners, and the most confusing family relationships since Shatterstar and Longshot. Subscribe and rate on iTunes or else we’ll tell people...


Ep. 17 Trick 'r Treat aka The Halloween Cheermeister

What do we want? MORE LADY WEREWOLVES! When do we want them? NOW! Check your candy kids and never go to strangers house’s while trick or treating (even though that’s the entire point of the activity). To kick-off the happiest time of the year, we watch our first listener suggested movie, “Trick R Treat!” Put on your holiday best and join us as we discuss jackie-o’s, knife collecting, and spreading the holiday cheer. Subscribe and rate us on Itunes or we’ll come by your house and blow out...


Ep. 16 They Live! Aka OBEY. CHEW BUBBLE GUM. KICK A**

This week we watch a favorite of ours, 1988’s, “They Live!” If you’re looking for a movie with a pro-wrestler as the hero, mullets, theme music, and quips a plenty THIS is your movie. Put on your alien detecting sunglasses and join us as we talk bougie aliens, Roddy Piper’s spectacular performance, and how Jen can’t remember what a garbage truck is called. We’ve come here to kick a** and chew bubblegum...and we’re all out of bubblegum. So pull up those 80’s jeans and listen in. OBEY....


Ep. 15 Drag Me to Hell aka The Case of the Cat Killer

This week we watched a film rife with fly horror and inside wind - Drag Me to Hell. We still hate Justin Long for being such a jerk in Tusk, but we still want to know - does Justin Long have BDE? Sam Raimi somehow knows that all we want out of a horror movie is Haunted Mansion vibes and Looney Tunes rules. Listen as we turn on our evil main character, Christine. Subscribe and give us a good rating, otherwise we’ll send our grandmothers after you to steal your buttons and curse...


Ep. 14 Catwoman aka Do you get it? She’s a cat.

We watch one of the worst “superhero” movies ever. A film that seems to have been developed by a director who took the moniker of “Catwoman” way too literally. If you like R&B stock music, ferris wheel horror, and Halle Berry dunking, we’ve got the movie for you! We ventured into Meowzer’s domain (aka the basement), so you lucky cats get to hear Jen shouting at him for trying to steal her sandwich and Meowzer defying the laws of physics by appearing out of a wall. Get a saucer of milk and...


Ep. 13 (Part 2) Rosemary’s Baby aka The Antichrist Needs Love Too

It’s lucky episode number 13 and not only that, the inspiration for our name! This week we watch 1968’s “Rosemary’s Baby” directed by the POS Roman Polanski. This one’s a long one so, we’ve split it into two episodes for your convenience. Listen in as we discuss this iconic movie and the inspiration it’s brought to pop culture; the good and the bad. A few things to keep in mind, never eat chalky tasting mousse, don’t let turtleneck bastards get you down, and satanists are people too. Let’s...


Ep. 13 (Part 1) Rosemary’s Baby aka You Turtleneck Ba*****

It’s lucky episode number 13 and not only that, the inspiration for our name! This week we watch 1968’s “Rosemary’s Baby” directed by the POS Roman Polanski. This one’s a long one so, we’ve split it into two episodes for your convenience. Listen in as we discuss this iconic movie and the inspiration it’s brought to pop culture; the good and the bad. A few things to keep in mind, never eat chalky tasting mousse, don’t let turtleneck bastards get you down, and satanists are people too. Let’s...


Ep. 12 Godzilla aka Single Working Mom

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “I wonder if a 300 ft. lizard who is running amuck causing chaos in New York city would be able to hide?” The answer is yes, yes it could. This week we re-lived our childhood and found nothing but utter disappointment when watching 1998’s “Godzilla.” Join us as we discuss Godzilla’s workout regime, the 300 eggs rollin’ around inside of her like a bingo cage, and the classic gumball trap. Dig yourself in to this episode and perhaps ruin your childhood...


Ep. 11 Tusk aka A Heartwarming Story About A Man and His Pet Walrus

A movie inspired by a prank job posting for a man in a walrus suit, what could go wrong? The answer - absolutely nothing. Join us as we go full walrus and talk Jen’s top 5 heartwarming pet movies, a main character that we’re meant to hate, and the real mystery of this movie - did Teddy and Ally get it on? We’re #TeamTeddy in this bonkers movie, dive on in with us and learn why! Don’t be a Walrus hater, be sure to subscribe and rate us on Itunes! Stats/info: 2014 - Written and directed by...


Ep. 10 Queen of the Damned aka Twilight did it better

A movie where the title character doesn’t show up until ⅔ into the movie and most of the budget was spent on leather pants, “Queen of the Damned” is one of those rare films that makes you say, “Twilight did it better”. Put on your favorite Disturbed song and headbang with us through the movie that spends way too much time narrating what the characters are doing, instead of giving them dialogue. Subscribe and join our coven of weird, won’t you? Stats/info: 2002 - Directed by Michael Rymer,...


Ep. 9 The Unborn aka HOW OLD ARE YOU? WHAT DAY IS IT?

#nodead kids, #norealkids #nodemonkids. What happens when you take White Bread, Pumpkin Spice, and throw in some blue gloves and demon kids? Gary Oldman and Idris Elba happen. This week we watched “The Unborn” and boy were we amazed at how bad it was. The real mystery/horror of this movie was the age of the characters and the timeline of events. Listen in kids, as we discuss the overuse of establishing shots, slo-motion, and tired creepy Carl (Carl = Barto). Molly eats Doritos under a...


Ep. 8 Leprechaun aka The Thespian

What do you do when some a**holes steal your money? Go after them of course! We watched the 1993 Leprechaun, another “so bad it’s good” horror movie. While the hero of our story, Leprechaun (Lep, for short) is dealing with a shoe compulsion, he manages to remain a master actor and a true thespian, clearly trained with the likes of Sir Ian McKellan. His commitment to his roles is truly astounding, rivaling even that of the great Charlton Heston. Alas, the only thing this film was missing was...


Ep. 7 Poltergeist aka Nobody Cares About Bloody Robbie

CW/TW - We talk a little about the domestic violence/murder of Dominique Dunne. Start at 5 minutes in to skip this. Pro-tip: If you’re going to build cheap cookie cutter developments over burial sites, don’t just move the headstones, move the bodies too, you fools. We watch 1982’s “Poltergeist” and discover that it’s not Carol Anne who is the victim in this movie, it’s poor Robbie, the forgotten child. Gather round as we go over the the great camera work, the ghost goop budget, and ghosts...


Ep. 6 Deep Blue Sea aka Shark M***** F*****, do you speak it?

Sometimes your budget doesn’t cover one fully trained parrot so you have to get two ½ trained ones. This week we DIVE (hahaaaaa) into the 1999 CLASSIC shark film “Deep Blue Sea.” What happens when you put a bunch of a**holes in an underwater facility with super smart sharks? The sharks win...or do they? Strap your goggles on and take a listen as we plunge (we got jokes) into the depths of the Deep Blue Sea. Drown us (can’t stop, won’t stop) with your love and be sure to subscribe! 1999 -...


Ep. 5 Paranormal Activity aka Law and Order: Paranormal Victims Unit

Directed by Oren Peli, starring Katie Featherston and Micah Sloat. We checked out the “real” found footage film, Paranormal Activity. We got the giggles during this recording, so join us in discussing paranormal law and how much of this movie’s budget was spent on string. Since we know this is a hot topic now, we also take time to really dive into the state of the demon economy, particularly the housing market and rising costs of demon college. Remember to subscribe for more legal tips on...


Ep. 4 Death Note aka Daphobia 2 - Electric Boogaloo

Daphobia - noun - extreme or irrational fear of Willem Dafoe. We (unfortunately) watch the 2017 live action Death Note movie, directed by Adam Wingard (Blair Witch, You’re Next), starring Nat Wolff (Naked Brothers Band, Paper Towns), Lakieth Stanfield (Get Out, Atlanta), and Margaret Qualley (Palo Alto, The Leftovers). Episode four gets us talking about when frosted tips are acceptable (pro-tip, it’s never), the differences between Eastern and Western horror, and the rise of excessive 80’s...