No Substitutions, Please

Noah and Louisa prove that even when you think the plantains sitting on your counter couldn't possibly be usable, they find a way to surprise you. Also, Noah gets his Puerto Rican tarjeta revoked. Join our Patreon! Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Fill a tortilla, surround it with sauce, bake cheese on top—what's not to love? Well, let Noah and Louisa tell you. Join our Patreon! Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

Even as sharp a customer as garlic, in the end, surrenders and sweetens in a constant low heat. Noah and Louisa talk about why people seem unable to realize that's what they're supposed to be making. Join our Patreon! Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

The thing about a cheap cut of meat is that, once you figure out how to properly cook it, it stops being cheap really quickly. Noah and Louisa dig into one of the best-known examples. Join our Patreon! Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

A jiggly monument to the wonderful flavor of fresh dairy, or the least stressful dessert in the world if you're paying attention? Noah and Louisa help you decide. Join our Patreon! Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

And now for something completely different—instead of picking a food and dunking on the people who can't get it right, Noah and Louisa talk about how they weren't always the masterful cooks and podcast hosts you hear before you today. And there's a big announcement, to boot. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License.

A Certified Good One,™ according to Louisa! No food we have ever covered on this show has more deserved being compared to a boat, so we're just going to hit the accelerator on this one. These are the appetizer equivalent of a VIking funeral, in that they are small vessels you set on fire and there's usually alcohol involved. What else do you need to know? Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

The substance that binds American childhoods together. Whether you like it plain-Jane mayonnaise or fancy, sharp, and full of stuff that isn't tuna, you've had this before, and you probably know exactly how you feel about it. Noah and Louisa tell you their part of the story. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Noah and Louisa succumb to a silly meme. No, they're totally not using it as an excuse to talk about the fondation of every truly transcendent meat dish. How dare you insinuate that? Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Why are there so many foods with real gross names? Noah attempts to get over it while Louisa extols the virtues of this triple- (or quadruple-, if you're not a coward) chocolate pie. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

We know what you're all thinking: this show needs more discussion of The Odyssey. Noah and Louisa oblige. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

We know what you're all thinking: this show needs more discussion of Star Wars. Noah and Louisa oblige. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

The Mediterranean dish that proves if it's liquid, you can poach eggs in it. Noah and Louisa meant to talk about that food for an hour and change; the culinary gods had other plans. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union between two of the most important foods in global culinary history: picadillo and plantains. Noah and Louisa, neither of them capable of holding their peace (even for a moment), rhapsodize about the results. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Just as the monsters who will do battle with the gods at Ragnarök were ferried aboard the keratinous Naglfar, this fungal fleet ferries the flavors of cream cheese, scallions, bacon, and breadcrumbs, and more to your felicitous guests. So Noah and Louisa talk about them, using much less disgusting metaphors. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

The official* dish of Dracula Day, a Midwestern comfort classic, and (if you're Noah) a possible explanation for historical events of great importance, this is also the hardest food to pronounce we've ever done on this show. * may not be true Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

It is risen—and by "it," we mean the temperature in your oven as you cook this delectable meal. Noah and Louisa discover that they have very different frames of reference when it comes to this Easter classic. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

If only this had never been invented, the Great Recession could've been avoided. Noah and Louisa talk about the food that put housing, healthcare and more entirely out of an entire generation's economic reach. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Humanity has labored for millennia to discover the perfect breakfast. Well, wonder no more: a flavorful, rich, creamy sauce ladled over flaky, golden bivalves of bread. Noah and Louisa rhapsodize about an honorable diner food even further than this description already does. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

From the dark Satanic mills of nineteenth-century London, to the misty watercolored (false) memories the United States seems to have about the way Ireland was, to the table at everyone's St. Patrick's Day celebration, this is . . . actually, it's pretty great. So, of course, Louisa and Noah find the people who ruined it all. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on BlueSky. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon, @nsmckinnon.bsky.social on BlueSky. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz. Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.