No Substitutions, Please

For our first Hispanic Heritage Month episode, we take on one of Noah's most beloved exemplars of boricua cuisine: the exquisite combination of plantain fried to its golden peak, sharp garlic oil, and savory pork cracklings that goes with everything—from roast pork or chicken to seafood stews. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Louisa and Noah knew they had to do something special for the half-century mark, and this episode has everything you could want. Start with a base of classic food almost everyone has experienced; top it with an over-pretentious recipe from a member of our rogues' gallery; slather on some comments that reveal far, far more about the authors than anyone wanted to know; wrap all of that up in a little discourse about culinary colonialism; enjoy! We sure did. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Back after a two-week hiatus! Among the lordliest of the fried foods, these delicious, simple, crispy balls of ground beans and fresh herbs are some of the best things you can put in a pita. Noah and Louisa track down some tips for especial success. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Cobbler by any other name would taste as sweet—which is good, because this stuff has more minor variations than Beethoven. Noah and Louisa get to the bottom of all of them. You know, where the peaches are. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Melted cheese, rich tomato sauce, crispy breaded chicken, well-sauced noodles: what's not to love? Why not ask Noah, who will spend most of this episode telling Louisa he'd rather be eating something different. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Lend us your ears, and in silk-smooth voices, Noah and Louisa will have you in total amaizement as they describe the shuck and awe of the summer salads, all based on those golden pearls of sweet glory. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

The perfect lunchbox dessert, without which no bake sale is complete. Noah and Louisa reminisce about these fudgy squares, whose present as a no-fuss baked good would surely astonish the people who (supposedly) invented it as a fine dining treat. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

A beloved mainstay of many a summer barbecue, whether you like it with spicy vinegar, grown mustard, or that thick brown ketchup Kansas City calls barbecue sauce. Louisa discusses the importance of making an effort, while Noah tries to hang on to his faith in humanity. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Have you ever wondered why this breakfast food is associated with the French? Well, Noah and Louisa have no answers for you there—but they'll spend plenty of time talking about how to make a delicious little bread dish, and all the ways people have failed to improve upon it. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Were you expecting hot dogs? Hamburgers? Some other American food that might be appropriate for the 4th of July? What podcast did you think this was? Noah and Louisa take you back to the Eastern Hemisphere on a journey through Britain, Portugal and Japan to wax poetic about the wonders of battered cod and haddock. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

No summer barbecue or 4th of July cookout is complete without someone bringing a big container of this stuff. Which is interesting, because if you've ever talked to anyone about it, you quickly learn two things: 1) everyone has their own recipe, and 2) no one seems to actually like it all that much. Noah and Louisa try to figure out why. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

There are few pleasures in life as simple as butter, garlic, and good shrimp—or so you'd think. Noah and Louisa discover that a lot of people have rather interesting ideas on how such a classic combination can be . . . well, is "improved" the right term? Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

The preferred breakfast of traitors, Popes with weird egg deficiencies, and white people getting their weekend drunk on. Noah and Louisa break down every facet of this brunch staple. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

The Florida Keys: bright sun, blue waves, warm sand, haunted dolls—all things that go perfectly with the cool, refreshing taste of key lime juice swathed in rich condensed milk. (We're assuming here. Neither of us have been.) Noah and Louisa tell you about their agreed-upon favorite pie, and the occasions where it might be served. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

If the Sirens had sung of sweet tomatoes, glistening with rich olive oil, paired with refreshing cucumber, and scattered with pearl-white feta, to the illustrious Odysseus, he would have never returned to his rocky island home. Fortunately, it would be several millennia before all of those things came together in a salad bowl—which means it was several millennia and a few years before people started ruining it. Noah and Louisa fill you in. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

As we all know, food is at its most delicious when it is served in triangles. This salad, with its bacon and chives and its creamy blue cheese dressing, conjures the fantasy of eating an entire head of lettuce. (You can't make Noah mention the tomatoes.) It's our third episode of Salad Days. You know the deal: people are going to absolutely ruin this thing. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Basil. Cheese. Tomato. Oil. Long ago, the four ingredients sat together in harmony. Then everything changed when a bunch of people chucked some balsamic vinegar in there for some reason. Noah and Louisa investigate why people can't just leave well enough alone. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

The only thing Noah likes less than cherry tomatoes and hard-boiled eggs in his salads are people who supposedly like those things finding ways to get around the fact that they're key ingredients. So, for the first episode of our Salad Days, he and Louisa talk about all the different ways people try to get around a very simple recipe. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

It's the king of custards, the despot of desserts, the envy of every other meal-ender—and, as Louisa and Noah discover, the bane of a lot of cooks cursed by iffy ovens or too willing to cut corners. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.

Let's welcome spring into our lives with a tribute to one of the greenest vegetables around—and, we think you'll agree, one of the most variegated episodes we've ever done. Noah and Louisa discover that there are some people who just shouldn't be allowed near a produce section. Follow us: @NoSubsPlease on Twitter. @NoSubsPlease@mastodon.online on Mastodon. @NoSubsPlease on Cohost. Noah: @elderrumbao on Twitter, @nsmckinnon@laserdisc.party on Mastodon. Louisa: @louisa@mastodon.xyz Our theme is Street Food, by FASSounds, and is governed by the Simplified Pixabay License. Our cover art includes work by artist Kirsty Pargeter.