Grey Areas with Petra Bagust

What does it actually look like to choose your family? Not just love them, but live with them, day in and day out, across generations and cultures? In this kōrero, Petra sits down with All Black legend Sir John Kirwan and his daughter – volleyball player, business owner and young mum – Francesca for a warm, wide-ranging conversation. They talk intergenerational living, the Italian way of life, and what it means to build a family that stays. Francesca grew up between Auckland, Japan and Treviso, speaking Italian at home, saying goodbye to one set of grandparents to see the other, and learning early how belonging can exist in more than one place. While living in New Zealand with her husband Luca and their baby son Carlo, under the same roof as John and Fiorella, they embraced intergenerational community – and she wouldn't have it any other way. John opens up about the things he got wrong as a young father, the months away, the career-first years, and the profound gratitude he has for the grandparents who stepped in when he couldn't be there. He talks about the role sport played in building resilience in his children, why compromise is the non-negotiable foundation of communal living, and what his own father said to him in a hospital room that changed everything. We also get into John's six pillars for mental health and wellbeing in the second half of life, from managing your energy and ‘habit stacking’ to understanding what your brain actually needs, as well as his new community, Second Half. This is a conversation about the slow, generous work of living alongside the people you love most - it's about the big picture. Support the show: greyareas.nz/support Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tarryn Stokes won the 12th season of The Voice Australia at 40, making her the oldest winner in the show's history. But long before the blind audition that stopped the judges in their tracks, she'd spent years singing backing vocals for Guy Sebastian and Jessica Mauboy, leading worship in churches, and quietly wondering if she'd already missed her moment. In this kōrero, Tarryn opens up about growing up in a musical family with a grand piano in the lounge, and how singing has always been her native language. We talk about her ADHD diagnosis three years ago, the shame it lifted, the lightbulb it switched on, and why she thinks it's no coincidence that so many creatives share that wiring. Tarryn also shares what it actually takes to stand on a stage and sing in front of a nation when every nerve in your body is telling you to turn and run - the visualisation techniques that got her through The Voice. We get into the dynamics of life after a win on reality TV, the manager who called out of nowhere, the record deal with Universal, and the realisation that nobody was coming to do the hard work for her. And we talk honestly about mum guilt, the juggle of touring with young kids, redefining what success looks like, and what it means to write a song for someone you love. Tarryn's new single Rubies and Gold is out now. It’s a beautiful song about knowing your worth, written for her niece. It's upbeat, generous, and sounds exactly like her. Support the show: greyareas.nz/support Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tarryn Stokes won the 12th season of The Voice Australia at 40, making her the oldest winner in the show's history. But long before the blind audition that stopped the judges in their tracks, she'd spent years singing backing vocals for Guy Sebastian and Jessica Mauboy, leading worship in churches, and quietly wondering if she'd already missed her moment. In this kōrero, Tarryn opens up about growing up in a musical family with a grand piano in the lounge, and how singing has always been her native language. We talk about her ADHD diagnosis three years ago, the shame it lifted, the lightbulb it switched on, and why she thinks it's no coincidence that so many creatives share that wiring. Tarryn also shares what it actually takes to stand on a stage and sing in front of a nation when every nerve in your body is telling you to turn and run - the visualisation techniques that got her through The Voice. We get into the dynamics of life after a win on reality TV, the manager who called out of nowhere, the record deal with Universal, and the realisation that nobody was coming to do the hard work for her. And we talk honestly about mum guilt, the juggle of touring with young kids, redefining what success looks like, and what it means to write a song for someone you love. Tarryn's new single Rubies and Gold is out now. It’s a beautiful song about knowing your worth, written for her niece. It's upbeat, generous, and sounds exactly like her. Support the show: greyareas.nz/support Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Born in Aotearoa, raised in the highlands of Papua New Guinea, and transplanted to suburban Melbourne at age ten, Safina Stewart has spent most of her life figuring out where home is. As an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander artist, educator, and storyteller, she's had to find that answer from the inside out. In this kōrero, Safina opens up about growing up as a "bush pikinini," not learning to read until she was 18, and the quiet devastation of arriving in Australia as a child with no map for the path ahead. We talk about the 2023 Voice referendum, what it cost her community, and how it lit a fire in her art. Safina shares, with remarkable honesty, the years she spent in a marriage marked by domestic violence and sexual assault, and how becoming a mother became both her anchor and the beginning of learning to love herself. We also explore perimenopause through an Indigenous lens, the power of community and the myth of the individual, equity scholarships, and the grief of losing her brother, musician and artist Stuart Fergie, to covid complications. This is a conversation about survival, defiance, and the deep, generous kind of love that holds people together across generations and cultures. This episode covers confronting topics including domestic violence, sexual assault, and suicidal thoughts. Please be kind to yourself as you listen. If you need support: Safe to Talk (sexual harm): 0800 044 334 or text 4334 — available 24/7 Women's Refuge: 0800 733 843 — available 24/7 Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text 4357 — available 24/7 1737 — Need to talk? Call or text 1737 to speak with a trained counsellor, any time Support the show: greyareas.nz/support Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kia ora e te whānau! In the melee of mid-life - which can be dense, frantic and fabulous all at once - we need spaces to listen to each other and to ourselves, and it’s useful to navigate those gritty ‘grey areas’ together. This season, we aren’t holding back - digging deep into topics that matter most to us right now like hormones, skin, aging parents, courage and keeping on keeping on (and we add a little sparkle for good measure)! Hormone Health: Dr Lara Briden joins Petra in person to give us more hormone hacks and mid-life metabolism love. Intergenerational Living: Sir John Kirwan and Francesca Kirwan share the realities of modern family life. Skin & Body Wisdom: We tackle nore of the "unspoken" stuff—from GSM (Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause) to skincare science with Dr. Iona Weir. Taking Action: The powerhouse Brodie Kane joins us to talk about finding your voice and making moves. Purpose & Determination: We sit down with Barbara Dreaver to discover what drives her. Heart of the Matter: Real talk on the intersection of marriage and menopause. Plus, so much more… don’t miss an episode! Hit the Follow button right now on your favourite podcast app to get notified the moment Season 9 drops. Grey Areas: Because life isn’t black and white, and the magic is in the middle. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, I sit down with the legendary Lucy Lawless — actor, director, and all-round creative force — for a real conversation about what it means to embrace midlife - to dig into the surprise and delight of this season. Lucy shares how her fifties have brought a renewed sense of drive and possibility. We talk about learning to take risks, staying open to being changed by others, and the freedom that comes from trying, even when success isn’t guaranteed. From her role in Pike River to stepping behind the camera as a director and tackling bold creative projects, Lucy’s still challenging herself to keep saying yes to the things that scare us. Support the show: ⁠greyareas.nz/support⁠ Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In our fast-paced, image-oriented world, it's no surprise that our relationship with food - especially as our bodies change in midlife - can sometimes be fraught. In this kōrero, Claire Turnbull, a seasoned nutritionist and author of, End Your Fight with Food, opens up about her personal challenges and provides insights into the complex world of eating, self-image, and holistic well-being. We dive into some of her key teaching to inspire and guide us toward a healthier relationship with our bodies, brains and plates. This episode tackles some confronting topics - if you need help, contact Lifeline on 0800 543 354 or text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7). Or get in touch with Eating Disorders Association of New Zealand if you need help finding a private provider in your area by phoning Ph 0800 2 EDANZ or emailing info@ed.org.nz Support the show: ⁠greyareas.nz/support⁠ Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I sit down with legend of the screen, print and airwaves, Jesse Mulligan for a candid conversation. We chat about being described as an 'enigma', his unique thought processes and difficulties parenting in a digital age. Jesse also opens up about the only time he cried on television, his challenges navigating romantic and professional relationships and his surprising perspective on ego and responding to criticism. This kōrero offers an authentic glimpse into Jesse’s unique blend of honesty, humor, and empathy. Support the show:⁠greyareas.nz/support Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Endometriosis affects at least 1 in every 10 women in Aotearoa New Zealand — that is a staggering number. In this episode, mother and content creator Fatima Savea opens up about her long struggle with severe menstrual pain and undiagnosed endometriosis, which took a serious toll on both her physical and mental health. Fatima shares how she and her husband, Julian Savea, only discovered the condition when they were trying to conceive their second child - a journey that finally brought long-overdue answers. Later in the episode, I’m joined by gynaecologist Dr. Amelia Ryan, who specialises in the management of endometriosis and pelvic pain. We delve into the complexities of this often misunderstood condition - from its causes and symptoms to the body’s inflammatory response. Dr. Ryan explains the multifaceted nature of endometriosis, including its links to the immune system, genetic factors, and how it can present differently across life stages. She also highlights the shift in diagnostic approaches and emphasises the importance of holistic care, and personalised treatment plans. Dr. Ryan offers valuable, practical advice on managing chronic pain and navigating the healthcare system. We also discuss the growing awareness around understanding your menstrual cycle - and why this knowledge is such a powerful tool for self-advocacy and wellbeing. Support the show: ⁠greyareas.nz/support⁠ Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode Jess Quinn shares her courageous journey from surviving cancer as a child to becoming an amputee and dealing with endometriosis. Jess talks about her path to self-acceptance, the very real challenges and joys of motherhood without the convenience of two legs, and her advocacy work for women's health. Emphasizing radical acceptance and her life as ‘an open book’ with boundaries, Jess delves into her mission to help others advocate for themselves and embrace their unique stories. She also reflects on the power of community support, because we are designed to do tough stuff alone and the significance of vulnerability in fostering connections. Support the show: ⁠greyareas.nz/support⁠ Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TJ Power is the best-selling author of The DOSE Effect and a neuroscientist who teaches people, young and old, how to fix their brains. By paying attention to how we’re wired, and what we spend our time doing, we can change our brain chemistry in remarkably simple and effective ways. In our social media-soaked frantic society it’s easy to accidentally ‘hack’ our motivation getting cheap rewards that don’t last and lead to addictive and unfulfilling behaviours. In this chat TJ gives us plenty of tips for how to get our brains back on track to feeling and functioning fabulously. Support the show: ⁠greyareas.nz/support⁠ Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this interview, I sat down with the inspiring, go-getter Nadia Lim. Our conversation covers cookbooks, chickens, sunflowers, and the seasons of life. Nadia also opens up about her relationship with her husband Carlos, the importance of self-care, community and resilience. This is a deeply candid discussion filled with valuable insights, plenty of laughs, and reveals the highs and lows of juggling family, career, and living alongside nature. Share this episode with a friend and make sure to grab a copy of Nadia’s new cookbook, Nadia’s Farm Kitchen. Support the show: ⁠greyareas.nz/support⁠ Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this interview, I sat down with beloved kiwi musician Stan Walker. Our conversation covers his multidimensional career, his journey with identity, the importance of maintaining boundaries, and protecting his peace. He speaks openly about his growing understanding of forgiveness, the effects of trauma, and the long-term process of healing and self-acceptance. Stan also emphasises his dedication to his family, health, and bringing hope, life, healing, and joy through his music. I really admire Stan for his vulnerability, honesty and courage and I’m so excited to share this kōrero with you all. This episode covers some confronting topics, including sexual abuse. If you need help you can always reach out to Safe to Talk⁠ confidentially, any time on 0800 044 334 or text 4334. Support the show: greyareas.nz/support Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As you and most of the world know, Dame Jacinda is the former Prime Minister of New Zealand and recently published her best-selling memoir, A Different Kind of Power. Our cross-hemisphere conversation covers identity, servant leadership, politics and her immense sense of responsibility. We also chat about the brand new documentary, Prime Minister, (and having partner Clarke Gayford turning the camera on her at home), and her latest offering, Mum’s Busy Work, a children’s book. I loved gaining more insight into her early life, the family and faith that shaped her. As well as hearing what it was like balancing the demands of early motherhood and running a country. As my local Mt Albert MP, I have long admired Jacinda for her bravery and empathetic leadership, in spite of her self doubt, and I am so excited to be able to share this heartfelt conversation with you all. Support the show: https://greyareas.nz/support Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Season 8 of Grey Areas launches tomorrow! And just like the first sensational seven seasons my guests will wrangle with the challenging, embrace the mystery and celebrate the wins - I’m excited to dig into the grey areas of life with my NEW guests and you. Can’t wait! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this bonus episode of Grey Areas, we bring you the full interview with neuropsychiatrist Dr Greg Finucane for episode 1 of this season, ‘When ADHD meets perimenopause’. A conversation that turned out to be unexpectedly emotional – and incredibly clarifying. We talk about why so many women, including me, are getting diagnosed with ADHD in midlife, and how perimenopause can cause the carefully stacked house of cards that is our coping mechanisms to start to fall. Greg and I tackle what’s happening in the brain, how diagnostic systems work (and sometimes don’t), and whether ADHD is really a disorder – or just a different way of being in the world. This episode is personal. I share parts of my own story: the grief, the relief, the letting go of old narratives. We also talk meds, stigma, late diagnosis, and how many of us have spent decades holding ourselves to impossible standards. If you've ever found yourself asking “what’s wrong with me?” – or wondering if it’s too late to figure it out – this conversation is for you. Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Support the show: https://greyareas.nz/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In part two of my conversation with Dame Anne Salmond, we go deeper - into wānanga (the meeting of ideas), into te ao Māori (Māori worldview), and into the kind of thinking that could help us live better together. Dame Anne speaks about her decades-long relationship with her Māori mentors, Eruera and Amiria Stirling, and how those relationships rewired her understanding of the world. We talk about what it means to live in a relational way - and how te reo Māori doesn’t just name the world, it can reshape it. This kōrero makes space for where anthropology meets awe, and scholarship meets soul. We also talk about tapu and mana, and how those concepts aren’t just beautiful - they are power filled. We discuss Te Tiriti o Waitangi, not as a document of rights and rules, but as a sacred gift exchange rooted in respect. We touch on binary thinking, politics, creativity, and the purpose of universities - and why the best ideas are born in spaces where words can be blown about by the wind and shone on by the sun. This conversation is a gift. It’s a call back to care, and forward into complexity, beauty, and balance. Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Support the show: https://greyareas.nz/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this first part of our kōrero, I sit down with Dame Anne Salmond—a thinker whose mind is vast, and whose heart is very much rooted in the soil of Aotearoa. Dame Anne is an anthropologist, writer, and one of our most decorated scholars, but what shapes her most is relationship - whakapapa, whenua, and whānau. We start where all good conversations should: at the kitchen table. Dame Anne tells me about her wild and wonderful upbringing in a family of nine kids, where dinner was frequently like a full-blown debate club, and learning happened between bites. We talk about difference - political, personal - and why being able to think, laugh and disagree together is something worth holding on to. She also shares the love story behind Waikereru, Longbush Reserve, the eco-sanctuary she and her husband Jeremy created near her childhood haunts on the outskirts of Gisbourne, and how that land became a place of healing, beauty, and belonging for them both. This part of the conversation is full of life - stories of childhood, whakapapa, parenting, joy, grief, restoration, and deep connection to place. It's the foundation for the rich ideas we explore in part two. Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Support the show: https://greyareas.nz/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I sit down with biochemist Dr Libby Weaver, a nutritionist, speaker, and author of 13 books (soon to be 14). Libby brings a holistic lens to wellbeing, combining science, nutrition, and emotional insight in a way that’s both practical and also deeply human. We explore the gap between what we know and what we do, and why that gap exists. Libby unpacks the power of belief systems – how they quietly shape our choices, our habits, and even our health. We talk about stress, sugar cravings, hormone changes, perimenopause, self-talk, and the importance of iron, all woven through with her gentle encouragement to be curious, not critical. What I loved most is Libby’s message that our bodies are not betraying us – they’re whispering to us. And if we pause to listen, we might just discover the kind of deep wisdom and clarity we’ve been hunting for in all the wrong places. This kōrero is science-meets-soul, and a gentle nudge toward greater kindness – to ourselves, and to our brilliant, hardworking bodies. Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Support the show: https://greyareas.nz/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, I sit down with Amanda Luxon. Amanda is a former teacher, Myers-Briggs coach, lifelong learner – and yes, the ‘First Lady’ of New Zealand. Our conversation isn’t about politics (though it inevitably comes up), but about difference, understanding, and friendship – because even though in many ways we’re chalk and cheese, we’ve been friends for years. We first connected over our shared passion for fighting human trafficking, but on a long summer walk earlier this year, we found language for just how differently we see the world – and how fascinating and enriching that can be. Amanda shares her deep love of the Myers-Briggs personality typing framework, which has helped her understand her own strengths as an ISTJ, and helped her see me, an ENFP, with more clarity and appreciation. There’s humour, honesty, and a whole lot of heart in this kōrero as we explore how personality differences play out in parenting, partnership, and even public life – and how making space for our differences can bring us closer. Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker. Support the show: https://greyareas.nz/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices