
The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent
Betty Martin, D.C.
Why would most people endure unwanted or unsatisfying touch, rather than speak up for their own boundaries and desires? It’s a question with a myriad of answers – and one that Dr. Betty Martin has explored in her 40+ years as a hands-on practitioner, first as a chiropractor and later as a Somatic Sex Educator, Certified Surrogate Partner and Sacred Intimate. In her client sessions, she noticed a pattern wherein many clients would “allow” or go along with discomfort or unease rather than speak up for what they wanted or didn’t want. Betty discovered there was a major component missing for people -- the confidence that we have a choice about what is happening to us.
In her framework, “The Wheel of Consent®” Betty traces the fundamental roots of consent back to our childhood conditioning. As children, we are taught that to be “good” we must ignore our body’s discomfort and be compliant: to finish our food even if we’re full, to go to bed - even if we’re not tired, to let relatives hug and kiss us even if we don’t want to. We learn that our feelings don’t matter more than what is happening, and that we don’t have a choice but to go along, whether or not we want it.
As adults, this conditioning remains with us until we have an opportunity to unlearn it, which is why consent violations are often only called out after the violation has occurred - because we have not been taught or empowered to notice our boundaries, much less value or express our internal signals as the unwanted action is happening.
In this book, Betty guides the reader through the Wheel of Consent framework, and shares practices to help us recover the ability to notice what we want and set clear boundaries.
Duration - 17h 24m.
Author - Betty Martin, D.C..
Narrator - Madelon Guinazzo.
Published Date - Friday, 17 January 2025.
Location:
United States
Description:
Why would most people endure unwanted or unsatisfying touch, rather than speak up for their own boundaries and desires? It’s a question with a myriad of answers – and one that Dr. Betty Martin has explored in her 40+ years as a hands-on practitioner, first as a chiropractor and later as a Somatic Sex Educator, Certified Surrogate Partner and Sacred Intimate. In her client sessions, she noticed a pattern wherein many clients would “allow” or go along with discomfort or unease rather than speak up for what they wanted or didn’t want. Betty discovered there was a major component missing for people -- the confidence that we have a choice about what is happening to us. In her framework, “The Wheel of Consent®” Betty traces the fundamental roots of consent back to our childhood conditioning. As children, we are taught that to be “good” we must ignore our body’s discomfort and be compliant: to finish our food even if we’re full, to go to bed - even if we’re not tired, to let relatives hug and kiss us even if we don’t want to. We learn that our feelings don’t matter more than what is happening, and that we don’t have a choice but to go along, whether or not we want it. As adults, this conditioning remains with us until we have an opportunity to unlearn it, which is why consent violations are often only called out after the violation has occurred - because we have not been taught or empowered to notice our boundaries, much less value or express our internal signals as the unwanted action is happening. In this book, Betty guides the reader through the Wheel of Consent framework, and shares practices to help us recover the ability to notice what we want and set clear boundaries. Duration - 17h 24m. Author - Betty Martin, D.C.. Narrator - Madelon Guinazzo. Published Date - Friday, 17 January 2025.
Language:
English
Title and Credits
Duration:00:00:17
Acknowledgments
Duration:00:02:42
Foreword
Duration:00:06:00
Introduction: An Inquiry
Duration:00:17:31
Part 1, Chapter 1: Two Offers
Duration:00:38:17
The Three Minute Game
Duration:00:04:16
Chapter 2: Defining Receiving and Giving
Duration:00:11:58
Chapter 3: The Quadrants
Duration:00:10:26
Chapter 4: About Pleasure
Duration:00:18:15
Chapter 5: About Touch and Sex
Duration:00:14:35
Part 2, Chapter 6: In Search of the Quadrants
Duration:00:37:55
Chapter 7, Lesson 1: Waking Up the Hands
Duration:00:34:36
Chapter 8, Lesson 2: Finding the Take-Allow Dynamic
Duration:00:49:02
Chapter 9, Lesson 3: Finding the Serve-Accept Dynamic
Duration:00:28:44
Summary of the Lessons
Duration:00:02:54
Chapter 10: Introduction to the Labs
Duration:00:13:27
Chapter 11, Lab 1: Exploring the Take-Allow Dynamic
Duration:01:25:54
Chapter 12, Lab 2: Exploring the Serve-Accept Dynamic
Duration:01:27:39
Chapter 13, Lab 3: Play
Duration:00:18:30
Part 3, Chapter 14: The Wheel of Consent
Duration:00:36:48
Chapter 15: The Direction of the Gift
Duration:00:27:54
Chapter 16: The Doing Half
Duration:00:25:40
Chapter 17: The Done-To Half
Duration:00:14:56
Chapter 18: The Receiving Half
Duration:00:52:28
Chapter 19: The Giving Half
Duration:00:40:12
Chapter 20: The Taking Quadrant
Duration:00:49:11
Chapter 21: The Allowing Quadrant
Duration:00:41:38
Chapter 22: The Accepting Quadrant
Duration:00:34:13
Chapter 23: The Serving Quadrant
Duration:00:30:25
Part 4: Social and Spiritual Implications, Chapter 24: Domain, Boundaries, and Limits
Duration:00:16:16
Chapter 25: Desire
Duration:00:14:15
Chapter 26: Consent
Duration:00:13:18
Chapter 27: Spiritual Implications
Duration:00:09:33
Chapter 28: Social Implications
Duration:00:08:39
Chapter 29: Conclusion
Duration:00:04:21
Chapter 30: More About My Work
Duration:00:06:36
Intro to Bonus Chapters
Duration:00:00:18
Chapter 31: Bonus Tracks
Duration:00:28:01
Chapter 32: Sex and Eros
Duration:00:10:21
Chapter 33: About the Genitals
Duration:00:22:22
Chapter 34, Lab 4: Take-Allow with the Option to Include the Genitals
Duration:00:20:00
Chapter 35, Lab 5: Serve-Accept with the Option to Include the Genitals
Duration:00:27:11
Chapter 36: Playing with Sex
Duration:00:05:43
Chapter 37: Playing with Power and Surrender
Duration:00:07:00
Chapter 38: For Partners
Duration:00:05:51
Chapter 39: For Helping Professionals
Duration:00:05:55
The Authors
Duration:00:02:42