40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

Better looking gay men have it easier. More matches, more attention, more forgiveness in every room they walk into. Gay culture did not invent pretty privilege but it turned it into a full contact sport, and gay men over 40 have been taking the hits for decades. Today I go solo and deep on why gay culture amplifies appearance-based hierarchies beyond anything straight culture produces, what the better looking guy is actually carrying that nobody talks about, and why the real damage is not the privilege itself but the moment you handed your self-worth to a community that was never going to give it back. Key Takeaways: About Rick Gay men over 40 are done negotiating. Done tolerating careers that don't fit, relationships that stopped working, and lives built for someone else's approval. Rick Clemons is the coach, speaker, author, and podcast host who meets them there and helps them decide what comes next. Rick's approach is direct, grounded, and unapologetically adult. No therapy-speak. No motivational fluff. Just honest conversation and a clear path forward for gay men ready to stop flirting with change and actually make it. He is the author of Frankly My Dear, I'm Gay and the forthcoming Perfect Detour: A Gay Man's Guide to Handling Life's Plot Twists...and His Own Bullshit. His highly acclaimed podcast, 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk, has built a devoted global following of gay men navigating midlife and beyond with honesty and zero apology. Rick works with gay men on the real stuff: identity, relationships, sex, career, aging, finances, family, and the loneliness nobody wants to admit to. His standard is simple. Stop negotiating your gay life. Live like you mean it. No fears, no excuses, no apologies. Connect With Rick Website Instagram Facebook Community Monthly Chats

Aging hits different when you’re a gay man over 40. The body shifts. Friends disappear. Mortality stops being abstract. In this raw conversation, Ken Breniman, author, therapist, and leader of naked yoga for LGBTQ+ men, dives into death awareness, grief, body shame, loneliness, and why avoiding mortality keeps you negotiating your life. We talk orangutans in Borneo, naked yoga as radical body acceptance, and the courage it takes to face the truth about aging. If you’re over 40 and still pretending you have unlimited time, this episode will wake you up, to stop negotiating your gay life. Live like you mean it. Key takeaways: Death Awareness Is Not Morbid. It’s Clarifying.When you stop pretending you’re immortal, you stop tolerating what drains you. Mortality sharpens decision-making.Body Shame Doesn’t Expire at 40.Naked yoga isn’t about exhibitionism. It’s exposure to truth. Aging bodies deserve presence, not critique.Loneliness Doesn’t Fix Itself.Community takes intention. Waiting to “feel ready” keeps you isolated longer than you admit. About Kenneth Ken Breniman is a queer healer, writer, and elder-in-training who helps people dream more and dread less in uncertain times. He is a licensed clinical social worker, certified yoga therapist, and thanatology-informed grief educator whose work explores aging, intimacy, grief capacity, and personal death awareness, especially within LGBTQ+ communities. Ken is the author of a three body solution, an award-winning speculative sci-fi novel that uses humor, absurdity, and imagination to explore gerotranscendence, life force, and what it means to grow older without hardening or checking out. Drawing from grief work, primatology, contemplative practice, and storytelling, Ken blends depth with playfulness to make difficult conversations feel human, accessible, and even joyful. He lives with his long-time partner and believes the future belongs to those willing to stay curious, stay tender, and evolve together. Connect With Ken Website Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Most men spend years trying to fix their relationships by fixing the other person. Mike Elliott, LGBTQ+ ally, tried that too. It cost him his marriage. The Relational Leadership Mentor and Men's Initiation Guide rebuilt his entire life after divorce by doing the one thing men are trained to avoid: looking directly at themselves. Through a three-part framework of initiation, integration, and inspiration, Mike now guides men who are done sleepwalking through their relationships and ready to lead from something real. Mike and Rick get raw about what it actually takes to stop being reactive, take radical self-responsibility, and build a life anchored in presence instead of performance. Key Takeaways: Why self-improvement content often makes men feel more lost not lessWhat initiation actually means and why every gay man over 40 has already been through oneHow your deepest wound becomes your most powerful tool for connectionThe difference between integration and just surviving what happened to youWhy radical self-responsibility is not self-blame but the only real path forward About Mike Mike is a Relational Leadership Mentor and Men's Initiation Guide, working with men who want to have it all. He guides them to lead with Relational Authority, anchored in initiation, integration, and inspiration. Having been adopted twice and walked through the dark night of divorce, he rebuilt his life from the inside out. Now cohost of "The Sacred We," he helps men transform their relationships, starting with themselves, and create legacies of love, presence and purpose. Connect With Mike Website Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Gay men over 40 have been watching themselves disappear from screens, from conversations, and from their own community's narrative for decades. Rich Burns got fed up and built the antidote. The Humanitas Prize-winning creator and star of "The Disappointments" turned personal professional failure, romantic wreckage, and the specific ache of gay male invisibility into a series with over 4 million views and a global audience that stretches far beyond the LGBTQ+ community. Rich and Rick go deep on why older gay men are still being erased, what it actually costs to tell the truth on screen, and why humor is not a coping mechanism but a weapon. Key Takeaways: Why gay men over 40 are still invisible in media and what one man did about itHow Rich used personal humiliation and career setbacks as creative rocket fuelThe financial reality most gay men live with that Hollywood keeps airbrushing outWhat 4 million views taught Rich about the universal power of gay male experienceWhy humor is not softening the blow but telling the whole truth About Rich Rich Burns is the writer, star and creator of the Humanitas Prize-winning digital series The Disappointments. He also created and serves as the head writer for the Netflix original series Mermaid Magic which debuted August 2024 at #1 on Netflix Kids, with a second season coming. He developed and wrote on the Netflix reboot of the animated series Winx Club - The Magic Is Back. He served as head writer on two other recent Netflix chart toppers: DreamWorks’ Spirit Riding Free and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. Additionally, Rich was a staff writer at Walt Disney Feature Animation, scripting successful sequels to Brother Bear (Annie Award-nominated for Best Feature - Screenplay), The Fox and The Hound and The Little Mermaid, among others. His screenplay The Dunes of Overveen, based on a true story about a gay artist in Amsterdam who led a resistance raid against the Nazis during WWII, won an Outfest Award. Connect With Rich & Watch The Disappointments Website Instgram - The Disappointments Instagram - Rich Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Many gay men over 40 are reinventing themselves after layoffs, burnout, or careers that no longer fit. Creativity becomes survival, not a hobby. In this candid conversation, Kit Roughhouse shares how a job loss, a Los Angeles gay bar, and a long-suppressed creative voice gave rise to his alter ego and career as a gay erotica writer. his episode explores why erotic storytelling matters, how gay men use fantasy to explore identity and confidence, and what it means to create meaningful work later in life. It strips away shame around desire and reframes erotica as honest storytelling rooted in lived experience. Key takeaways: Why creative reinvention often begins after loss or disruptionHow gay erotica reflects identity, confidence, and belongingWhat it takes to claim your voice later in life without apology About Kit Kit Roughhouse is a writer of M/M erotica who was born in a gay bar in East Hollywood sometime in his late 20s. The bar closed years ago, but Kit keeps its spirit alive through his gleefully sexy smut, shot through with humor and humanity. Follow Kit Roughhouse on BlueSky for frequent updates on his writing and various gay obsessions. He's also active on Instagram. Connect With Kit Website Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Why do so many gay men spend their lives trying to belong, and still feel unsafe being themselves? This episode explores the deeper layers of belonging, authenticity, and self-trust through the lens of body-based wisdom. Devin Scott, a licensed social worker and body wisdom coach, shares his journey beyond traditional therapy into somatic practices, mindfulness, and Eastern philosophy. The conversation unpacks how high-performing gay men often learn to abandon themselves in order to fit in, and how true belonging begins with feeling safe inside one’s own body. With honesty and vulnerability, Devin also reflects on a recent breakup and what it revealed about self-worth, safety, and pleasure. This is an invitation to stop performing belonging and start living it. Key takeaways: Belonging without self-trust creates exhaustion, not connection.The body often knows the truth long before the mind is ready to admit it.Safety with yourself is the foundation for authentic relationships and pleasure. About Devin Devin Scott, NBC-HWC, LMSW, helps people reconnect with their inner wisdom and move through life with greater authenticity. As the founder of Find Your Meaning, he blends body-based coaching, mindfulness, and psychological insight to support clients who feel disillusioned by traditional systems of healing. His work often draws people who have carried the weight of trauma or grown tired of “playing the game” of societal expectations, and who are now searching for something deeper, more sustainable, and more whole. With training in social work, nutrition, somatic practices, and energy healing, Devin’s approach reflects both rigor and breadth. He combines elements of psychotherapy, bodywork, and fitness with the grounding philosophies of Buddhism and yoga—without requiring clients to adopt a fixed belief system. His sessions emphasize integration: mind and body, science and spirituality, personal history and present possibility. A particular passion is his study of Leela, a thousand-year-old Indian board game that encodes spiritual teachings about human life. Devin is co-authoring a modern translation of its Sanskrit guide, bridging ancient wisdom with modern psychology and anatomy so Western audiences can explore life’s challenges as opportunities for growth. This work mirrors his philosophy with clients: emotions and struggles are not pathologies to erase but messages with purpose, pointing toward new directions of meaning. Connect With Devin Website Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

What happens when your body is permanently changed—and you still choose to show up fully alive? This episode features Dallas Oliver, a gay man and esophageal cancer survivor diagnosed at just 39. Dallas shares his journey through chemotherapy, radiation, major surgery, and life without an esophagus, along with the realities most people never talk about: intimacy, identity, food, energy, and grief. Out of that experience, he created a weekly LGBTQ cancer support group to offer the kind of space he couldn’t find when he needed it most. This conversation is raw, honest, and deeply human-centered on survival, chosen family, and the power of community in healing. Key takeaways: Cancer doesn’t just change the body: it reshapes identity, intimacy, and daily life.LGBTQ cancer survivors face unique challenges that deserve affirming, honest spaces.Community is not optional...it’s a critical part of healing and survival. About Dallas He was born and raised in South Georgia and left at age 23 after coming out in Piedmont Park, boarding a plane soon after for Portland, Oregon. He spent the next 14 years there living more fully as himself, with some of my most meaningful time spent in rural southern Oregon, on and around the Wolf Creek Radical Faerie Sanctuary. In 2018, he felt a strong pull to return to Atlanta, where he launched his career in massage therapy. It was also here that he faced and survived stage 3 esophageal cancer. Each chapter of his journey—geographical, professional, and deeply personal—has shaped who he is today: a 43-year-old gay man living without an esophagus, grounded in resilience, authenticity, and lived experience. Connect With Dallas Website Facebook Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Prostate cancer rarely announces itself. For many men, especially gay men over 40, the first sign comes too late. PSA testing can catch prostate cancer early, yet most men avoid the conversation or assume no symptoms means no problem. World renowned urologist Dr. Arthur L. Burnett II breaks down what every man needs to know about prostate and urological health, PSA testing, and why waiting for symptoms is a dangerous mistake. The conversation tackles cultural shame, medical avoidance, and how masculinity myths keep men from advocating for their health. This episode is a wake up call for gay men who want more years, better sex, and control over their bodies as they age. Key Takeaways from the Podcast: Why prostate cancer often shows no symptoms until it is advancedWhen gay men over 40 should ask for PSA testing and why it mattersHow health literacy and early action change long term outcomes About Dr. Bennett Arthur L. “Bud” Burnett II, M.D., MBA, FACS, is a trail-blazing and globally recognized urologist, educator, and researcher at Johns Hopkins University, where he has worked for more than 40 years. He serves as the Patrick C. Walsh Professor of Urology, Director of the Male Consultation Clinic. As a barrier-breaking leader, he is recognized as the first Black person to have achieved milestones in the urology profession as professor of urology at Johns Hopkins University, President of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America (SMSNA), and Board Member of the American Urological Association. Dr. Burnett has devoted his professional life to advancing patient care, performing thousands of prostate and urologic surgeries and pioneering minimally invasive, nerve-sparing techniques that help patients recover faster and maintain quality of life. His groundbreaking research on erectile function helped make oral therapies like Viagra possible, and he continues to innovate treatments that improve outcomes for men and women alike. Connect With Dr. Burnett Website Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Many gay men over 40 struggle with eating disorders, addiction, and shame while appearing successful and in control. Bulimia, compulsive behaviors, and secrecy often go unnoticed until a breaking point like divorce forces the truth into the open. In this unfiltered conversation, Kyle shares his personal experience with bulimia, recovery, and rebuilding identity after divorce as a gay man over 40. This episode confronts body image, food control, sex addiction, and emotional isolation in the gay male community. It exposes why secrecy keeps men stuck and how recovery begins with honesty, support, and connection later in life. Key takeaways: Why eating disorders and addiction remain hidden among gay men over 40 How bulimia, shame, and control are deeply connected What recovery and reinvention actually require after divorce About Kyle Kyle is an Emmy Award winning journalist with more than two decades in print and television. He started freelancing for his local paper in high school, specializing in arts and entertainment reporting. After interning at “The Dr. Phil Show” and NBC Los Angeles in college, he returned home to the DC area and worked in government procurement. Kyle has become a vocal advocate for men facing eating disorders. Kyle’s perspective is unique: it’s shaped by his decades-long journalism career and by his personal journey through recovery, which he’s shared, with remarkable candor on his own podcast and in community forums. His stories connect deeply because so many in our LGBTQ+ circles struggle in silence, wrongly believing these issues are rare among men. Kyle’s podcast - The Tangle With Kyle Ridley - helps men realize they aren’t alone in what they’re experiencing. With his steady social following, Kyle is making it easier for men to talk about challenging stories and find support. Connect With Kyle Website Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Negotiating love feels responsible until you realize it is costing you your self-respect. For many gay men over 40, relationships quietly turn into endurance tests disguised as commitment. You tolerate distance. You excuse confusion. You call chemistry connection and safety love. In this eve before Valnetines Day episode, Rick Clemons exposes the heated rivalry (with cheeky, but wise observations from the HBO Max series by the same name) playing out beneath your dating patterns. The fight between choosing comfort or choosing truth. This conversation cuts through avoidance, people-pleasing, and half-choices that keep men stuck repeating the same emotional loop. You will walk away clearer about where you are negotiating, why honesty feels risky, and what changes when you stop disappearing in the name of love. It’s about seeing your own bullshit clearly enough to stop flirting with half-choices. This is the Perfect Detour moment where you stop negotiating and start living like you mean it. Key takeaways: Endurance is not devotion.If love requires you to disappear, you’re not committed — you’re negotiating.Chemistry opens the door. Capacity determines whether love stays.Most men keep choosing heat over honesty.Truth builds intimacy faster than approval ever will.Being lovable keeps you safe. Being honest makes you alive. About Rick Rick Clemons is a kick-ass coach, captivating speaker, and tell-it-like-it-is podcast host bringing a no-nonsense approach for gay men over 40 to see their own bullshit, stop flirting with decisions, hook up with life, and never go back. If you’re still explaining your life, you’re not ready for Rick. His line in the sand is simple: stop negotiating, or stop pretending you want more. Stop Negotiating Your Gay Life After 40. Live like you mean it — no fears, no excuses, no apologies. Connect With Rick Website Facebook Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Many gay men over 40 quietly panic when sex stops working the way it used to. Erections feel unpredictable. Anxiety creeps in. Porn, media, and aging myths make it worse. Men’s coach Shay Doran brings a grounded, no nonsense perspective to performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, stress, medication side effects, and the emotional pressure gay men carry into the bedroom. This conversation reframes sexual performance as a whole life issue, not a broken body problem. When stress, self worth, and identity are addressed, desire and connection often follow. The episode challenges shame based thinking and replaces it with curiosity, honesty, and a better understanding of sex after 40. Key Takeaways from the Podcast: Why performance anxiety is often a stress response, not a sexual failureHow porn and cultural expectations distort confidence for gay men over 40What actually helps rebuild intimacy, trust, and desire without shame About Shay Shay Doran is a men’s coach, specializing in helping men fix erection problems & performance anxiety. After experiencing this himself, Shay has now helped men around the world overcome erection problems & feel normal again. Connect With Shay Website YouTube Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

In this powerful midlife conversation, Ralph Brewer, author of Rebuild: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man, unpacks the universal relationship challenges men face, gay or straight. From anxious attachment and dead bedrooms to boundaries, neurodivergence, and long-term monogamy, this episode reveals how male relationship patterns cross orientation lines. Ralph shares his journey from heterosexual marriage and divorce to becoming a leading voice in men’s relationship coaching, while Rick connects these insights directly to gay men navigating midlife transitions. This episode is a must-listen for men ready to rebuild relationships with clarity, self-awareness, and support. Key take aways from this episode Attachment styles, especially anxious attachment, and how it impacts gay and straight men in nearly identical ways.Boundaries aren’t about control; they’re about self-respect and emotional safety.Community and honest self-reflection are essential tools for rebuilding relationships after loss, divorce, or identity shifts. About Ralph Ralph Brewer is the author of REBUILD – The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man, The Dead Bedroom Fix, Divorce Panic, Red Flags, and Real Talk: No Bullsh*t Life Advice for Young Men. His work has been read and listened to by hundreds of thousands of men around the world. Through his writing, podcast, and global men’s community, Ralph has become one of the most trusted voices helping men navigate the modern landscape of relationships, masculinity, and personal transformation. Ralph’s journey started the hard way. After going through a painful divorce and personal collapse more than a decade ago, he found himself questioning everything — his role as a man, a father, and a partner. What began as his own process of rebuilding evolved into an international movement. Today, his message reaches hundreds of thousands of men each week through his books, videos, and the growing Help For Men organization. Connect With Ralph Website Instagram Facebook Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

In this bold and eye-opening episode, I sit down with male boudoir photographer Trey Fox to explore how intimate portraiture helps men reclaim confidence, reconnect with their bodies, and see themselves through a more empowered lens. Trey shares the artistry and psychology behind photographing men—from building trust and consent to creating a safe, shame-free environment for vulnerability and expression. During this episode we explore the misconceptions surrounding erotic photography, the emotional transformations clients experience, and the challenges of navigating this profession while in a relationship. Whether you’re curious about male boudoir, body positivity, or redefining masculinity, this episode offers a candid and inspiring look inside Trey's world. Key take aways from this episode Explore how photography can be healing. Trey’s male boudoir sessions help men confront insecurities, reclaim self-worth, and see themselves with fresh eyes.Learn why trust is everything. Building safety, clarity, and consent is essential for intimate portraiture, and it transforms the entire experience.Discover why masculinity is evolving, and how more men are seeking spaces to express vulnerability, sensuality, and authenticity without judgment. About Trey Trey Fox is a full-time professional photographer specializing in intimate, transformative portraits for men. Over the past two decades, his distinctive approach has helped clients embrace their sensuality and sexuality, seeing themselves not just through their own eyes, but as others truly see them. The experience goes far beyond creating beautiful photographs. Many clients walk away with a renewed sense of confidence and a deeper connection to themselves - one that lingers long after the camera is put away. Because of his deep respect for discretion and privacy, Trey has been entrusted by a wide range of men- from corporate executives and public figures to everyday guys - to create striking, one-of-a-kind portraits in extraordinary locations across the country and abroad. Connect With Trey Website Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

In this episode, author Peter Leahy shares his powerful late-life coming out story towards true authenticity. In this episode we explore what it means to shed old personas, embrace your identity at any age, and rewrite the stories you once hid behind. From navigating professional masks to discovering emotional freedom through writing, Peter’s memoir Glowing Up Gay has resonated with thousands for its raw honesty and relatable truth. Whether you’re coming out later in life or reclaiming parts of yourself you’ve long avoided, this episode is a bold reminder that it’s never too late to become who you really are. Key take aways from this episode Authenticity isn’t immediate—it’s practiced. Coming out later in life often means unlearning years of hiding and slowly stepping into wholeness.Labels can connect or confine. Understanding LGBTQ+ language helps people find belonging while honoring their own identity.Your story matters. Writing, sharing, or even speaking your truth can create healing and inspire others on their own journey. About Peter A self-proclaimed “ideas guy,” Peter worked in marketing for over twenty-five years. For many years, he saw himself as a coward – too scared to admit that he was gay and embrace who hewas. Throughout his 20’s and 30’s, his active life was masked with what he believed was “normalcy,” but underneath it he was tormented by sadness, emptiness and most importantly, self-loathing, Finally, he summoned the courage to walk away and eventually become a proud (and fabulous) gay man. Now happily married to his husband for over five years, he lives in California with our Chihuahua Zoey, the queen of our household. Connect With Peter Website Instagram Facebook LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

In this powerful episode, David Osterman shares his journey from late-life self-discovery to addiction recovery that is nothing short of extraordinary. David opens up about coming out in his 40s, surviving meth addiction, rebuilding after a life-threatening fall, and finding purpose as a coach for gay men seeking confidence, clarity, and truth. Together, we dive into identity, resilience, executive-level marketing strategies, and the courage required to rebuild your life from the inside out. If you’re navigating reinvention, queer identity, or recovery, this episode hits deep. 3 Key Takeaways From This Episode: creates space for rebirth and reinvention.gay men are missing to thrive About David David Osterman is a proud father of three and a survivor of life’s toughest challenges. After struggling with addiction and surviving a near-fatal fall from a third story building during his meth use, David spent four months in the hospital recovering from broken feet and a back injury, learning to walk again. Now one year sober and thriving, he came out at the age of 42 and has embraced his journey of self-discovery and transformation. As an aspiring gay life coach and certified NLP practitioner, David looks help men over 45 navigate late-in-life awakenings, overcome personal obstacles, and embrace their authentic selves. He has been featured on podcasts sharing his story of resilience, courage, and transformation, proving it’s never too late to rebuild and thrive. Connect With David Facebook LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

Loneliness is one of the most unspoken struggles among gay men, especially as we age, get sober, or outgrow old social circles. In this powerful conversation, licensed therapist Chris Tompkins unpacks why so many gay men feel disconnected even when surrounded by people, apps, and nightlife. This episode explores how sobriety, shame, dating apps, and societal expectations quietly fuel isolation, and what it actually takes to build authentic connection. From the “wounded healer” journey to embracing singleness, self-acceptance, and values-based living, this episode invites gay men to stop chasing validation and start creating lives rooted in truth, alignment, and meaningful connection. Three Key Takeaways Loneliness isn’t a personal failure, it’s often a byproduct of disconnection from self.Sobriety can reveal who and what is genuinely aligned in your life.Real connection begins when your values, actions, and identity are congruent. About Christopher Chris Tompkins is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who specializes in working with adult gay men. He is also the author of the award-winning book Raising LGBTQ Allies: A Parent’s Guide to Changing the Messages from the Playground. In addition to being a therapist, Chris is a writer and public speaker. His work has been featured on TEDx, NBC, HuffPost, Psychology Today, The Advocate, and more. Connect With Christopher Website Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

In this intriguing episode, Dr. Mark Broomfield, author of Black Queer Dance, Gay Men and the Politics of Passing for Straight, explores the complex intersections of race, queerness, masculinity, and identity. It's a deep dive into the realities queer men of color face in dance, performance spaces, academia, and everyday life, including the pressure to “pass,” racial surveillance, and the politics of being “almost straight.” Mark and Rick share deeply personal stories that reveal how culture shapes expression, safety, and authenticity. This conversation shines a critical light on representation, lived experience, and what it truly means to embody queer identity in a racialized world. Key take aways from this episode Learn the cultural pressures Black queer men face around masculinity, performance, and the expectation to “pass” in different social environments.Discover how identity is strategically navigated, sometimes for safety and sometimes for self-preservation, especially for queer men of color.Learn why representation in dance and performance matters, and how history, stereotypes, and lived experience shape the queer Black artistic journey. About Mark Mark Broomfield, Associate Professor of English, Founder and Director of Performance as Social Change at SUNY Geneseo, holds a PhD in Critical Dance Studies from the University of California, Riverside, and an MFA from the University of Michigan, is a London-born award-winning scholar, artist, and performer of Jamaican heritage. His book Black Queer Dance: Gay Men and the Politics of Passing for Almost Straight, is a groundbreaking exploration of black masculinity and sexual passing in American contemporary dance that examines core themes about the freedom of movement, freedom of expression, and sexual freedom and what they reveal about how we all move through the world. Watch for Broomfield’s soon to be released Danced Out documentary. Connect With Mark Website Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

In this powerful episode, LGBTQ+ historian and collector Adrian Cardwell shares how his project, Badge of Pride, is preserving 30 years of queer history to ensure our stories are never forgotten. From the AIDS crisis to modern-day equality movements, Adrian’s journey reminds us that visibility, unity, and storytelling are the backbone of our community’s strength. We explore what it means to protect queer archives, how personal stories shape collective progress, and why showing up—especially in politically divisive times—matters more than ever. Our stories aren’t just history—they’re our legacy, our power, and our connection to each other. 3 Key Takeaways From This Episode: How storytelling and archiving protect LGBTQ+ legacy and visibility. The role of Badge of Pride in connecting and empowering queer communities. About Adrian Adrian Cardwell is the founder and executive director of Badge Of Pride, an organization dedicated to activating LGBTQ+ history through artifacts and storytelling. For more than 30 years, Adrian has been building a nationally significant collection of Queer history—over 10,000 artifacts—through relationships with LGBTQ+ activists and communities around the world. After a more than 25-year career in corporate leadership, directing national sales and marketing for a global telecommunications firm and serving on international committees to expand broadband access in underserved and conflict-affected regions, Adrian pivoted in 2022 to launch Badge Of Pride. His goal: to bring this collection out of the shadows and into public spaces as a tool for truth-telling, resistance, and connection. He is the curator of Badge Of Pride: From Silence…To Celebration!, the largest artifact-centered exhibition of LGBTQ+ history ever presented in Texas, and a bold counterpoint to today’s climate of censorship and cultural erasure. Connect With Adrian Website Instagram Facebook LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

In this soulful and unfiltered conversation, singer-songwriter Mike Maimone—a former accountant turned queer creative force—shares how love, loss, and midlife reinvention shaped his music and life. From finding love across an age gap with late partner Howard Bragman, to channeling grief into his upcoming album and book, Guess What, I Love You (out February), Mike opens up about rediscovering purpose after heartbreak. Together, Rick and Mike dive into healing, queer resilience, and what it means to live unapologetically authentic—no fears, no excuses, no apologies. Three Key Takeaways Reinvention knows no age limit: Mike’s switch from accounting to full-time musician proves it’s never too late to follow your authentic rhythm.Love isn’t defined by age—it’s anchored in shared values and authenticity; Mike and Howard’s story shows how connection outlasts external assumptions.Grief can become creative fuel: Mike transformed loss into art, launching an album and book that honor memory by turning pain into performance. About Mike Originally a business school graduate and accountant, Mike Maimone made his way into full-time music through Chicago’s blues scene, drawing comparisons to legends like Randy Newman and Leon Russell. He has since performed more than 100 shows annually, appearing at festivals such as Lollapalooza, Riot Fest, and Summer Camp, while sharing stages with Blues Traveler, Plain White T’s, and Company of Thieves. His music has been placed on TV soundtracks and even featured at Wrigley Field. In 2023, Maimone released Borrowed Tunes, Vol. 2, followed by sold-out shows in Los Angeles, New York, and Chicago, with proceeds benefiting The Trevor Project. A live album, Songs for You, Alive in Chicago, followed in early 2024. His forthcoming album Guess What? I Love You, available for pre-order in limited-edition vinyl and CD formats, will include handwritten lyrics, liner notes, and photos, further underscoring the deeply personal nature of the project. Connect With Mike Website Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

What happens when fatherhood meets unapologetic pride? David Morgenstern, founder of GADDIES, is redefining what it means to be a gay dad through bold branding, community, and connection. From the evolution of GADDIES as a lifestyle brand for gay fathers to navigating visibility, partnerships, and authenticity, this episode explores how storytelling and representation can reshape culture. Discover how GADDIES built an inclusive space for dads who started their families in different ways—and why visibility still matters for LGBTQ+ parents everywhere. 3 Takeaways: How GADDIES empowers gay dads to show up boldly in family and culture.The business strategy behind creating authentic LGBTQ+ brands.Why representation and intergenerational connection fuel real progress. About David Nobody gets the importance of community quite like the gays. From feeling like outsiders to finding people who love us without reservation, we know both the pain of being tribeless and the joy of true belonging. When David and his my husband became dads, he craved more ways to connect with others on this wild, beautiful ride called fatherhood. He was looking for celebration. A space where families like his could feel seen, supported, and full of pride. That’s why he started Gaddies: to build something bold and joyful for us. The first brand created specifically for gay dads, Gaddies exists to elevate our stories, spark connection, and create community. Whether you’ve been a dad for decades or you’re taking baby steps towards first time fatherhood, Gaddies wants you to to feel seen and inspired to parent with pride. Connect With David Website Instagram Facebook Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies