This episode takes a close look at situations, circumstances, and various cultures (organizational, ethnic, social, familial, etc.) that frequently engage in a shame/blame dynamic, which breeds conflicts. In fact, a sure way for conflict to to get started anywhere is for someone, anyone, but especially someone in a position of leadership to point an index finger at a person and say, He (or she) did it...it's his (or her) fault that this bad thing happened! Shame and blame initially are tied to internal thoughts that eventually get expressed verbally or in writing with emotions like guilt and anger, and are like rubbing two sticks or flints together that are sure to start a spark, or fire, or conflict. The combination of shaming and blaming can quickly create a downward spiral of blazing emotions between two people, a family, within an individual, or spread a fire of anger, bitterness, ill-will, embarrassment, defensiveness, resentment, projection, and a host of negative imaginings and emotions that do nothing to build relationships or generate personal growth. Instead, shame and blame result in people feeling bad, problems not being resolved, it only harms relationships. Both the blamer and the person blamed are negatively affected, as well as any person who joined the conversation and added a negative opinion, accusation, or judgement about the blamer or the blamed person and the bad situation. Even though shame and blame, and their companion, guilt, have a downward pull and can create a seriously negative momentum wherever they occur, there are ways to break these two conflict-mongers and shut down and reverse their downward pull and impact. We will discus healthy ways to address and master conflict, including internal conflict, related to shame and blame, whether someone else pointed a finger at us or we pointed out finger at someone else, or we pointed an accusing finger at ourselves. Join this inspiring conversation, live, or listen in on the conversation using Voice America's on-demand option as we are joined during this episode by Sheila Rivera, nee McDonald, who is the mother of four grown children and four grandchildren. She has been married to Jose Rivera for 26 years. She has wrestled with God to find meaning, purpose, and joy beyond the confines of toxic guilt, shame, and worldly gain. She is the author of a book of prayers for people struggling with abuse, addictions, poor life choices, and low self-worth. She gives her book, entitled Prayers for Reconciliation, Recovery, and Restoration to women who need to know the truth about what God says about them. She offers her book, free of charge, to women in facilities and various groups at the Star of Hope/New Hope program, Santa Maria Hostel/Bambi program, and The Landing, a sex trafficking drop-in center in Houston, TX. She is excited to share her journey of saving grace experienced thanks to a program called Celebrate Recovery, where she served as a facilitator and leader.