Couples Therapy In Seven Words

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/susan-morgan-taylor/. Are you a woman in a couple, and your sexual desire seems to have vanished? Are you a man in a couple with one of those women? What’s going on? What can you do about it? Our guest in this episode, Susan Morgan Taylor, specialized in helping couples dealing with this sort of desire discrepancy. And she learned how to help others by going through it herself. We talk about how she discovered her own keys to sexual awakening, and how she works with couples to help them find theirs. Susan’s websites are https://www.PleasureKeys.com and https://www.pathwaytopleasure.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/my-wife-died-and-was-having-an-affair/. What if you found out your recently deceased wife had been having an affair for years? How can you handle the shock of betrayal? And what should you do about telling the adult kids or not? In this episode we talk about the letter we received from Les, whose wife of 45 years had died suddenly, leaving him to discover the affair she had been having with her high-school boyfriend. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/shelley-lewin/. Our guest for this episode, Shelley Lewin, was a successful international model when she realized that her life wasn’t working for her, especially when it came to relationships. So she embarked on a journey of personal growth and training which led to her becoming a relationship coach, offering help to individuals, couples, and organizations. And she’s written a book, Uncomplicated Love, to share what she’s learned. We talk about Shelley’s approach to helping people find and foster satisfying, healthy relationships. Shelley’s website is https://tracoaching.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/owen-marcus/. It turns out men and women are different. And therapy tends to be women’s territory, even with male therapists, as I (Bruce) can certainly attest: after all, it’s women who want to come to therapy, and men who usually resist. Our guest in this episode, Owen Marcus, has developed programs that provide the kind of environment that lets men feel safe enough to open up—which has great effects on their relationships with others, including the women in their lives. Owen’s website is https://meld.community/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/phyllis-leavitt/. How might the insights of psychology help heal our country? How does unhealed trauma lead to the polarization and discord we’re experiencing? Our guest in this episode, Phyllis Leavitt, has applied her knowledge and experience as a psychotherapist for three decades to those issues, and written a book, America in Therapy: A New Approach to Hope and Healing for a Nation in Crisis. Phyllis’s website is https://phyllisleavitt.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/sharon-costanzo/. When our guest in this episode, Sharon Costanzo, got married and had children, she encountered a common problem, no less vexing for being so common: she found she was carrying a disproportionate load of household responsibilities even as she worked outside the home full-time. Her experience, often painful, of working through changes with her husband to create a more collaborative relationship gave her insights and skills that she now shares with her coaching clients. Sharon’s website is https://www.respectedandconnected.com. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/kristal-desantis/. I (Bruce) have often observed that men these days seem to be at a loss in knowing how to be men. The old default assumptions about how we’re supposed to show up in relationships, especially with women, seem not to work anymore. Our guest for this episode, Kristal DeSantis, is a therapist who specializes in helping men figure out how to navigate relationships. And she’s developed a model, called the STRONG model of Relational Therapy. We talk about her work, and her recent book, STRONG: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man. Kristal’s website is https://www.strong.love/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/artemisia-de-vine-2/. We interviewed our guest in this episode, Artemisia de Vine, a few weeks ago in Episode 153 (this one is 162). Artemisia is an expert on sexual fantasies, and we had a fascinating conversation about it. Recently Artemisia discovered that Rina Trevi, a podcaster and coach, had plagiarized her work, and Artemisia confronted her about it. What followed was inspiring to us, especially since Bruce’s book on betrayal and forgiveness is just about to be released. Artemisia and Rina appeared together on Rina’s podcast, and described how they turned this situation into an opportunity for grace, compassion, accountability, and clarity. Artemisia’s forthcoming book is The Spirituality of Smut: The Surprising Wisdom of Sexual Fantasies. Her website is https://www.artemisiadevine.com/. Our previous conversation with Artemisia is at https://brucechalmer.com/artemisia-de-vine/. You can hear the podcast episode with Artemisia and Rina at: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5TONUvFUCjOgzQx1GJE4gI Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is out on June 4, 2024—so if you’re reading this after that date, it’s available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/the-f-word/. In this episode we talk about a short film, “The F-Word.” Besides being hilarious, this film touches on themes that often come up in couples work. What if parents differ about what constitutes appropriate conduct for their children? What if one parent thinks the other is doing something harmful to their children? We also talk about Bruce’s forthcoming book Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/laurie-groh/. How can couples navigate conflicts and differences? What are some of the challenges couples face at different stages of life? Our guest in this episode, Laurie Groh, applies her training from the Gottman Institute, Terry Real, Esther Perel, Harville Hendrix, and others to help couples heal. Laurie’s website is https://shoresidetherapies.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/eric-fitzmedrud/. What leads someone to recognize that they are polyamorous? How can getting consent be sexy? How can men learn to “be a better asshole”? These are some of the topics we talk about in this episode with our guest, Dr. Eric FitzMedrud. His recent book is The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex. Eric’s website is https://drericfitz.com. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/can-you-forgive-rape/ . What are the limits of forgiveness? Can you forgive even the worst sort of violations? I (Bruce) have worked with many people who are struggling with this question. In part, it depends on what you mean by “forgive.” Does forgiveness have to imply that you’ll try to restore your relationship? Or might you forgive someone, but still not trust them? Could you see forgiveness as getting the poison out of you? Ann Lamott famously noted that not forgiving someone is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die. Along the way, we also talk about people getting canceled, trigger warnings, microaggressions—basically, a lot of stuff that might generate angry emails. Try to be kind, don’t panic, and have faith (our seven words) as you respond. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness-its-almost-here/. Bruce’s book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again, is getting closer to its release. In this episode we talk more about various kinds of betrayal Bruce encounters in his work with couples. It’s often infidelity, but there are other sorts of betrayal as well. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. For the audio-only version of this podcast, visit https://ctin7.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. What is betrayal? Why is it so painful? And how do you recover from the shock, get past the anger, and figure out how to move on? In this episode we talk about the kinds of betrayal Bruce encounters in his work with couples. It’s often infidelity, but there are other sorts of betrayal as well. We touch on secret cross-dressing, porn and masturbation, financial malfeasance, and other examples. And we put in a plug for Bruce’s forthcoming book, to be called Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/marisa-flood/. How can you turn conflict into connection? Our guest in this episode, Marisa Flood, is a relationship coach who specializes in helping couples learn the skills they need to thrive. Marisa’s website is https://conflict2connection.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/dene-logan/. How can we reclaim the healthy masculine and feminine aspects we each have within us? And how does reclaiming those aspects help couples? Our guest in this episode, Dené Logan, uses her understanding of depth psychology, informed by her own experience, to help couples along the path to more fulfilling relationships. Dené’s website is https://denelogan.com/, and her forthcoming book is Sovereign Love: A Guide to Healing Relationships by Reclaiming the Masculine and Feminine Within. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/artemisia-de-vine/. Our guest in this episode, Artemisia De Vine, is an expert on sexual fantasies, an expertise she developed through her work as a professional dominatrix. We talk about the meaning of sexual fantasies, and how understanding them can unlock deeper connection and spiritual growth. Her forthcoming book is The Spirituality of Smut: The Surprising Wisdom of Sexual Fantasies. Artemisia’s website is https://www.artemisiadevine.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/sarah-watson/. Sarah Watson is a sex therapist and educator. Having grown up with little education about sex herself, Sarah now works with parents to help them have age-appropriate conversations with their kids about sex. Sarah also cohosts a podcast about menstruation with a focus on people who have bleeding disorders or experience extreme menstrual bleeding. Sarah’s website is https://simplesexeducation.com, and her Instagram handle is @swsxtherapy. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://youtu.be/OBA56wRhpI4. Our guest for this episode, Dr. Leanna Wolfe, was an anthropologist at heart before she knew the term. She tells us about her own experiences of sexual exploration, her anthropological work in Mexico, India, Papua New Guinea, and Africa, and her studies of polygamy, polyamory, and sexual violence. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/kathy-slaughter/. What is polyamory? What can people in monogamous relationships learn from the experience of people practicing polyamory and other forms of ethical non-monogamy? Our guest in this episode, Kathy Slaughter, brings their own experience in a polyamorous family to their work with people considering and practicing polyamory. Find out more about Kathy’s work, including information on the Ethical Polyamory Apprenticeship program, at the Soaring Heart Center’s website, https://www.soaringheartcenter.com/, and on Instagram at @soaringheartindy. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.