Inspiration from the Couch

What in your life do you dread? How do you experience dread? What’s the point of dread? How do we make our dread go away? We dive into all these questions in today’s podcast. Jamie, Avery, and Lucy share their own experiences with dread, and we explore the different ways dread can show up (e.g., Avery’s dread is more anxiety based, and Lucy and Jamie’s dread is more like “I don’t wanna do this!”). We explored the overlap among dread, anxiety, and depression. We talk about how dread comes up for clients in our clinical practices. Lastly we talked about how to manage and reduce our experiences of dread.

Jamie, Lucy, and Avery have found self-compassion to be incredibly helpful in their own lives and in the lives of their clients. In this episode, we talk specifically about how we use self-compassion as parents. We’ve found self-compassion to be especially useful in parenting situations where we are feeling judgment for ourselves or our kids, during transitions, when we are in conflict or feeling irritable, when we need a break, when we’re making a difficult parenting decision or setting a limit, when we’re feeling regretful about the past or worried about the future, and really whenever we’re suffering. In these situations, we’ve noticed that simply naming and observing our thoughts and feelings and getting curious about them (rather than judging them) to be an important first step. Validating and tending to our own feelings can help us feel more calm and clear. Another helpful component of self-compassion is recognizing the common humanity of our experience. When we recognize that we are not the only ones having a particular issue, we feel less isolated. Taking self-compassion breaks, practicing loving-kindness meditation, and visualizing the presence of a supportive person in our lives can help us remember this important tool.

Avery, Jamie, and Lucy are so excited to interview mother-daughter relationship expert, Hilary Truong, MA, LPC! Hilary is a leading voice on keeping mothers and daughters in relationship through the teenage years and beyond. Join us as we discuss what people get wrong about the mother-daughter relationship, what moms and daughters most need from each other, the unique pressures we face as moms, and helpful strategies to repair the mother-daughter relationship. Where to find Hilary: www.hilarymae.com www.instagram.com/hilarymaeco https://hilarymaeco.samcart.com/products/mother-daughter-conversation-game

In this episode, we discuss resentment-how it feels, what kinds of situations may cause it, and what we can do about it. Resentment is defined as a negative feeling in response to a perception of unfairness or being mistreated. We discuss various negative feelings that come up when we’re experiencing resentment and talk through some examples of situations that have made us feel resentful in our own lives. Resentment can make us feel angry, irritable, and on edge and can affect our relationships. We review strategies to help manage our feelings and directly address situations that cause us to feel resentful.

In this episode, we revisit the topic of adult connection and the importance of adult friendships. We review the mental health benefits of social connection (hint: it’s more important than diet and exercise for longevity!). We talk about the advantage of the friend role as compared to other roles. We also discuss what it takes to be a “good friend” and what to do if a friendship becomes unhealthy. Lastly, we provide some advice for deepening friendships.

In today’s episode we talk about the parts and pieces of ourselves that we’ve lost along the way. Some of these might be aspects of ourselves we’re glad to be rid of (like people pleasing or caring about what other people think), whereas there might be other facets of ourselves (like seeking adventure or having/feeling fun) that we’d like to reclaim. We explore how this comes up in our lives and the lives of our clients, driving factors, and ways to notice and reintegrate missing pieces that we like and want back.

Perseverance and grit are great to teach our kids but when is it appropriate for them to quit or change directions? In today’s episode, we talk about all of the complicated reasons that we may pressure our kids to stay with things longer than what’s good for their well-being (including our “own stuff” as parents!). We talk about why quitting can be courageous and how you can assist your kids in taking ownership over that. We give pointers and strategies on how to approach the “quitting” conversation and highlight the importance of curiosity and intentionality. Resource: https://www.amazon.com/Quitting-Strategy-Perseverance_and-Science-Giving/dp/1538722348

Today’s episode is all about fostering financial literacy in our teens and young adults. We start with some of the main financial related concerns we hear from kids during and after college, and we work backwards, highlighting specific tools and skills we can teach our kids before they leave home. We explore methods of payment, tipping, budgeting, and allowance/income. We also talk about natural opportunities to grow these skills, as well as opportunities for financially oriented natural consequences (e.g., how to respond when your teen loses her laptop stylus for the 3rd time in 3 months!). Lastly, we highlight how financial literacy can be complicated: it’s hard to talk openly and directly about finances, and money tends to stir up all kinds of emotions (which makes it even more uncomfortable).

We sometimes forget that one of the most effective things we can do as parents is to simply get out of our kids' way. In today’s episode we talk about the importance of allowing our kids to face natural consequences. We touch on issues that can make it difficult for us as parents to take a step back, and we review specific strategies to help us “get out of the way.” We talk about specific life skills that are easier for our kids to develop without our interference and when it can be helpful to offer support.

In today’s episode, we focus on disappointment, a feeling most of us don’t name or talk about enough. We explore what makes disappointment a harder emotion to acknowledge, highlighting the tendency to quickly detour to anger, judgment, shame, or embarrassment. We discuss our own experiences with disappointment. We talk about how disappointment often presents, including the thoughts, feelings, and body sensations that tend to accompany it. We notice that there’s power in being able to name our disappointment – the trick is in letting disappointment coexist with other, often contradictory, emotions. We explore the relationship between disappointment and our expectations (there’s a strong relationship between these two!), and we talk more specifically about how disappointment shows up in parenting. Lastly we discuss both unhelpful (maladaptive) and helpful (more effective) ways to cope with disappointment.

It’s our 100th episode! We mark the occasion by talking about milestones and taking a walk down memory lane. We discuss the different lessons we’ve learned along the way and relive some of our favorite moments on the podcast. We talk about some of the struggles and disappointments we’ve faced along the way too. One of our favorite parts of doing the podcast is getting to hear from our listeners and we’d love to hear from you! Drop us a line at connect@badassrebellion.com And please don’t forget to rate our podcast on itunes! Check out some of our favorite episodes: Episode 3 Play https://badassrebellion.com/episode-3-play/ Episode 5 Trance of Scarcity Book Club https://badassrebellion.com/episode-5-the-trance-of-scarcity/ Episode 7 Do It Afraid https://badassrebellion.com/episode-7-do-it-afraid/ Episode 13 Compassion https://badassrebellion.com/episode-13-compassion/ Episode 31 Intentional Holiday Season https://badassrebellion.com/episode-31-intentional-holiday-season/ Episode 34 Joy https://badassrebellion.com/episode-34-joy/ Episode 38 Comfort https://badassrebellion.com/episode-38-comfort/ Episode 40 Healthy Relationships, Part 1 https://badassrebellion.com/episode-40-healthy-relationships-part-1/ Episode 41 Healthy Relationships, Part 2 https://badassrebellion.com/ep-41-healthy-relationships-part-2/ Episode 46 Swimsuit Season https://badassrebellion.com/episode-46-swimsuit-season/ Episode 55 Dialectics https://badassrebellion.com/episode-55-dialectics/ Episode 84 Not Enoughness https://badassrebellion.com/episode-84-not-enoughness/ Episode 86 You and Them https://badassrebellion.com/episode-86-you-and-them/ Episode 87 Being Human with Taylor White Moffitt https://badassrebellion.com/ep-87-being-human-with-taylor-white-moffitt/ Episode 90 Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky https://badassrebellion.com/episode-90-unicorn-space-with-eve-rodsky/ Episode 93 Delights of December https://badassrebellion.com/episode-93-delights-of-december/

Today, Jamie, Lucy, and Avery discuss the often misunderstood emotion, envy. In short, envy can occur when someone has something or is doing something that you want for yourself! It often involves some sort of social comparison, usually with people who are similar to us in some way. We talk about the difference between envy and jealousy and why envy often feels “worse.” We share our own experiences with envy, a universal emotion, and what happens when we ignore it.. We also explore the upsides of envy and why it’s important to label envy when it crops up. Resources: https://www.eliseloehnen.com/onourbestbehavior https://www.instagram.com/backwards_hat_dancer/

Love is on our mind as we’re preparing for Valentine’s Day, and today we’re talking about self-love. While we may not be super-fans of the terminology (something about the phrase kind of gives us the ick), but we do actually do love the concept. In this episode, we define “self-love” as loving ourselves unconditionally and taking care of ourselves the way we would someone we love. We touch on the beautiful book The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor and talk about the quote by Glennon Doyle: “I have met myself and I am going to care for her fiercely.”. We end with an exercise to help us hold and treat ourselves with love.

Today’s episode was listener inspired! In this podcast, we talk about what it’s like when the trajectory of our lives is out of sync with what we imagined or expected. We see this during transitions and turning points (whether they are expected or unexpected). We discuss some of the major developmental tasks that we undergo throughout our lives and what it’s like to feel not quite in step with our peers. We also talk about how stories, expectations, having a scarcity mindset, and engaging in social comparison can make us feel even more out of sorts. Lastly, we offer tips and tricks along the way to help navigate all of this change!

It’s the New Year, and resolutions are a hot topic! The concept of “self-discipline” has a tendency to sneak into our conversations about goals and resolutions. So in today's episode, we take a deep dive into self-discipline: what it is, our (unpleasant) emotional reaction, how it can be helpful, and where it can lead us astray. We also offer alternative approaches to the strategy of “have more self-discipline” when we’re trying to make changes in our lives.

One of our favorite analogies when it comes to stressful situations is temperature. Conflict can heat things up and everyone can help keep the environment cool and comfortable. In this episode, we talk about what can cause us to come in “hot” to the holiday season and we discuss strategies that can help us keep ourselves cool.

For many of us, the holidays can feel like a whirlwind! When we’re busy with the hustle and bustle, it can be hard to stay centered and tuned in. In today’s episode, we explore what, specifically, about the holidays pulsl us off center and leads us to disconnect from ourselves. In addition, we share some principles and practices to facilitate a more grounded and connected holiday season.

Today’s episode is all about delight! We explore how to be more present to delight, how to choose and feel more delight, and how delight can bring us together. We share some of our favorite, specific delights of the holiday season and what can interfere with being delighted. We also invite our listeners to join our December delights challenge (join our email list for more info)! Links: https://www.rossgay.net/the-book-of-delights https://www.rossgay.net/the-book-of-more-delights https://www.amazon.com/Power-Fun-Feel-Alive-Again/dp/0593241401

Dr. Ellen Albertson is a psychologist, registered dietician, board certified health and wellness coach, reiki master, and mindful self-compassion teacher. She’s an author and has over 30 years of experience in the healing field. In today’s episode, Ellen joins us for a conversation about mental health and how to “rock your midlife.” She shares several tips on how to change your mindset, empower yourself, improve your relationships, and find joy from her latest book, Rock Your Midlife: 7 Steps to Transform Yourself and Make Your Next Chapter Your Best Chapter. Where to find Ellen: https://themidlifewhisperer.com/ https://rockyourmidlife.podbean.com/ https://www.instagram.com/the_midlife_whisperer/ https://www.youtube.com/@themidlifewhisperer

Today we talk about 7 ways of thinking – 7 cognitive traps – that increase our suffering and increase the likelihood we’ll abandon ourselves. They are: We define each of these, exploring how they show up in our lives. We talk about how to shed these ways of thinking when they no longer serve us. We also discuss what makes these thoughts so sticky, ingrained, and hard to get rid of.