Overcoming Betrayal & Addiction

Health & Wellness Podcasts

The Overcoming Betrayal and Addiction podcast, featuring Dr. Rob Weiss and Tami VerHelst, presents a conversational Q&A style discussion drawn from listener questions about sex and porn addictions, infidelity, cheating, and hard work required to heal relationship betrayal. Dr. Rob and Tami are very good at engaging people struggling with painful life issues in a useful, respectful way. They also invite you to join them on their live weekly webinar (Mondays, 5 p.m. Pacific at https://bit.ly/DrRobandTami), where they answer questions live Dr. Rob is Chief Clinical Officer for Seeking integrity Treatment Centers. He is a 25-year licensed therapist, a PhD sexologist, and author Sex Addiction 101, Prodependence, and Out of the Doghouse, among other books. Tami is Chief Relationships Officer for Seeking Integrity LLC. Tami brings over 30 years of personal addiction knowledge, helping supply struggling individuals and couples with the resources and direction they need to heal.

The Overcoming Betrayal and Addiction podcast, featuring Dr. Rob Weiss and Tami VerHelst, presents a conversational Q&A style discussion drawn from listener questions about sex and porn addictions, infidelity, cheating, and hard work required to heal relationship betrayal. Dr. Rob and Tami are very good at engaging people struggling with painful life issues in a useful, respectful way. They also invite you to join them on their live weekly webinar (Mondays, 5 p.m. Pacific at https://bit.ly/DrRobandTami), where they answer questions live Dr. Rob is Chief Clinical Officer for Seeking integrity Treatment Centers. He is a 25-year licensed therapist, a PhD sexologist, and author Sex Addiction 101, Prodependence, and Out of the Doghouse, among other books. Tami is Chief Relationships Officer for Seeking Integrity LLC. Tami brings over 30 years of personal addiction knowledge, helping supply struggling individuals and couples with the resources and direction they need to heal.

Location:

United States

Genres:

Health & Wellness Podcasts

Description:

Twitter:

@SexandHealing

Language:

English

Contact:

747-234-4325

Website:

https://sexandrelationshiphealing.com/

Email:

info@seekingintegrity.com

Episodes

I Have Relapsed. I Feel Terrible. What Do I Do Now?

5/6/2022

Dr. Rob and Tami answer some of your questions on this week’s episode. One listener had relapsed over the weekend and doesn’t know where to go from here. Dr. Rob has some helpful and encouraging advice to help you contusion on this path of sobriety and recovery. Dr. Rob and Tami also answer the question of how trauma and abuse relate to addiction, and if it’s truly possible to recover from multiple addictions at once. TAKEAWAYS: [:30] How do you create safety and intimacy? [2:25]...

Duration:00:31:34

I’m so Freaking Angry at Him. How Could My Addict Hurt Me Like This?

4/29/2022

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about how you can process your hurt and anger after you’ve found out about your spouse’s infidelity and addiction. When Tami began her recovery journey, she also had to process a lot of angry emotions and she discovered that it was triggering hidden abandonment wounds. Your initial emotions might not be what they seem, and Tami offers advice on how you can dive deeper within yourself to help process the pain. TAKEAWAYS: [:35] The cheating is now just gone to porn...

Duration:00:31:10

When You Put in the Work, You Will See the Benefits

4/28/2022

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about how betrayed spouses can take care of themselves, especially if their addict is not showing up in a way that they need to. They also answer a question from an emotional man, who has been in recovery for the last two years, and use it as a showcase on why recovery really does work when you put in the work. When you commit 100%, you will see the results. TAKEAWAYS: [:45] My SA husband never wants to have sex. What gives? [6:10] As a betrayed partner, you need...

Duration:00:26:21

I Don’t Trust My Addict Husband

4/28/2022

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about what to do when you’ve caught your addict watching some really uncomfortable and ethically questionable porn. They also discuss how betrayed spouses can move through grief and forgiveness in a healthy way without holding on to resentment. All this and more in this week’s episode! TAKEAWAYS: [:35] Caught my husband watching incest porn. What do I do? [2:15] You need to find a specialist in this field and not a general therapist. [3:40] I’ve lost a lot. As the...

Duration:00:27:16

Why Do Addicts Have Attachment Issues?

4/19/2022

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about attachment theory and why understanding how this affects addicts differently than a “normally” attached person. Tami also explains what the FANOS acronym is and how you can incorporate it with your partner to be better in tune with your needs and their needs. All this and more on this week’s episode! TAKEAWAYS: [:45] Can you please help me understand attachment theory? [1:55] Addicts lack trust. Why call somebody for help when I can just drink? [2:55] Dr....

Duration:00:28:04

My Recovery Is the Priority For Us to Have a Relationship

3/30/2022

Dr. Rob answers today’s questions on disclosures, setting up healthy boundaries, and the impact of trauma in addiction. He describes the difference between bottom-line and middle-circle behaviors and what to do to heal your relationship. He shares that Seeking Integrity exists to help addicts go to the underlying issues that drive their addiction. TAKEAWAYS: [:25] My addiction is MB with porn and fantasy. At the disclosure, can you tell how much detail to disclose and when and...

Duration:00:29:53

Addicts Are Deeply Troubled People

3/30/2022

Dr. Rob answers today’s questions without Tami as she is off making snow angels with her grandkids. He talks about how addicts do what they do, not because of their feelings towards their partners or loved ones but as a way for them to escape their reality and have control over their deep troubles. TAKEAWAYS: [:25] I’m having a very hard time believing that my sex addict husband can love me and do these things. Can you tell me your view on this? [1:00] If the person knew how to stop...

Duration:00:28:37

What to Disclose to Family Members About Your Addiction

3/18/2022

In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami answer questions about what to disclose to family members, what dissociations are, and how to get to telling the truth faster. They also highlight that despite the fact that they enjoy answering these questions, their treatment programs can really help someone in active addiction get unstuck. TAKEAWAYS: [:25] I’m in the early hypersexual stage of my journey. Am I postponing his recovery by continuing to have regular sex with my SA husband? [1:30] Dr....

Duration:00:33:56

Intimacy Is Not Only About Sex, It’s About Connection

3/11/2022

Dr. Rob and Tami talk in this week’s episode about dealing with your addiction first before being able to get into a successful relationship that you want and deserve. They also talk about how integrity from your partner is important and why you need to set up healthy boundaries for yourself as your partner goes through recovery. TAKEAWAYS: [0:25] Do you treat addiction to sexual fantasy like addiction to porn? What are the recommended next steps to achieving real-life romance and/or...

Duration:00:30:01

Can I Trust the Polygraph Test?

3/11/2022

Rob and Tami discuss some of the challenges a betrayed spouse might go through when learning to love and trust their addict again. Tami shares her thoughts about polygraphs and why they’re not the end-all solution many betrayed spouses are hoping for. All of this and more on this week’s episode! TAKEAWAYS: [0:55] My SA has been lying to his CSAT. What should I do to prepare for our CSAT session together? His birthday is also coming up. How can we still have a good time? [3:45] What do...

Duration:00:27:00

I Can’t Undo the Past But This Is How I’m Going to Right the Ship

3/4/2022

In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami talk about focusing on your internal recovery first before seeking to make peace with your spouses. It’s important to face your truth, build on your recovery journey, and build emotional resilience to manage the day-to-day things that happen in life. TAKEAWAYS: [0:20] My SA husband confessed he felt aroused when he saw our nine-year old granddaughter wearing a bathing suit. Does that mean he is attracted to children? Or is it triggered from adult...

Duration:00:31:55

Addicts Can Change If They Are Willing To Do The Work

2/18/2022

In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami share from their own experience about recovery not being an absolute but a constant effort of working through your struggle. Growing honesty and owning up to your recovery every day is very important in order for change to happen and make a positive difference. TAKEAWAYS: [0:25] How do you create a healthy sex plan? [2:40] Dr. Rob explains what sex and intimacy looks like within recovery. [5:00] Are there tips on how to regain trust and emotional...

Duration:00:30:29

Betrayed Spouses Shouldn’t Be Too Nice and Should Voice Their Needs

2/18/2022

Dr. Rob and Tami answer this week’s questions that focus on how to deal with relapsing addicts coming out of treatment. Betrayed spouses shouldn’t accept too much from the recovering addict’s behavior. They need to take care of themselves first and need to think about their own future, assessing if they would be happier staying or leaving to focus on themselves. Everybody gets to choose. TAKEAWAYS: [1:15] In your experience, do you find people with porn addiction to have a tendency to...

Duration:00:28:31

What Does Good Couples Therapy Look Like?

2/9/2022

Dr. Rob and Tami understand that being with a sex addict for years can be hard to accept. They answer a question from a betrayed spouse who has been separated from her partner for over three years, and still sees no progress in his addiction despite him going to CSAT meetings. What should she do? Dr. Rob and Tami also answer a question on what good and healthy couples therapy looks like, and what they should do prior to going into a session in this week’s episode. TAKEAWAYS: [0:30] My...

Duration:00:28:53

Who Did My Husband Cheat On Me With? I Need to Know Their Names!

2/9/2022

In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed spouse that is having a hard time moving forward a year after her SA’s disclosure. She wants to know the names of the women he cheated on her with. Dr. Rob and Tami explore why knowing more answers does not give you the closure and healing you are seeking, what to do, and some of the best ways you can move forward in your marriage despite the hurt. TAKEAWAYS: [0:35] I have been in recovery for the past 10 months. [8:10]...

Duration:00:31:47

My Betrayed Partner Keeps Threatening Divorce

1/21/2022

In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami answer questions around betrayal trauma and how to help your betrayed partner find safety. They invite you to read Dr. Rob’s books, listen to podcasts, join support groups and workshops to not only work on your recovery but find the right support group as well! TAKEAWAYS: [0:25] It has been 10 months since I disclosed to my wife my use of porn and lies. She has tried to work things out with me but has been asking for a divorce back and forth. How do I...

Duration:00:36:10

How Can an Addict in Denial Get Well?

1/14/2022

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about how you can help someone when they refuse to see themselves as an addict. Dr. Rob has unfortunately seen this happen with recovering addicts, who one day have a revelation that they’re not an addict, they’re just ‘sexually librated’. Dr. Rob and Tami also talk about the difference between casual porn use vs. when it’s a problem, and ho to handle shame and guilt when you’re on a path to recovery. TAKEAWAYS: [0:25] My partner doesn’t think he’s a sex addict. He...

Duration:00:34:50

Sociopaths Don’t Have Empathy

1/6/2022

Dr. Rob and Tami dive in and answer questions about healthy sexuality, working through triggers and grief, sociopaths and more. Seeking help and knowing when to walk away are important factors into your recovery. They’re also starting an online series specifically for porn addicts. Tune in to find out more! TAKEAWAYS: [0:25] How would you describe healthy sexuality for singles who want to wait for marriage? [2:15] No one is required to have sex and in a certain circumstance. You get to...

Duration:00:29:01

The 12-Step Program and How To Help Your Partners Through It

1/4/2022

In this week’s episode, Rob and Tami talk about the 12-step program, ambivalent love and how partners can support addicts through their own roller coaster of emotions during betrayal. Rob and Tami reiterate that only you can take care of yourself and get to control how you feel in any situation. TAKEAWAYS: [0:25] My boyfriend sexualizes strangers on Tinder. Is this behaviour healthy or normal? [1:10] Dr. Rob explains that not all people see the underlying issue and justify their...

Duration:00:32:23

How Do I Date Sober as a Sex Addict?

12/22/2021

Dr. Rob and Tami walk you through the steps you need to take to have healthy boundaries as a sex or love addict that’s going through the dating process. They also explain what intimacy looks like, and how you know you’re picking an open and healthy partner for you as you go through sober dating. Dr. Rob also shares when it’s a good idea to reveal to your new partner that you’re an addict in this week’s episode. TAKEAWAYS: [0:35] 22 months into recovery, what should I expect as a...

Duration:00:26:27