Sober Pod - Recovery Podcast

May 27 - Buy the book! Why is it that when we are drinking, we can ignore all the drama and just not care about most things, but as soon as we get sober, we somehow start having opinions about other people’s shit? We start paying attention to what “they” do, how “they” act, and what “they” are saying. It’s like we get so involved in other people’s shit that we don’t have any time for our own. Wait a minute! That’s exactly what it is. How convenient! We spend so much time focusing on other people’s shortcomings that we can no longer pay attention to our own. Seems like another form of denial, doesn’t it? It kind of is. Maybe - just maybe - you can put down that magnificent magnifying mind and point the barrel at the mirror for a while. Reflections Why do you think you are so focused on other people’s faults and not your own? Daily Challenge Today, count how often you think or bitch about someone else or something in your life that you have no control over. You’d be surprised how often you do. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 26 - Buy the book! Here are some thoughts on meditation. Some of us find it best to meditate in the morning as our day begins. Some do it in the evening or even on their lunch breaks. Pages 86-87 of the A.A. Big Book describes some simple rituals around prayer and meditation that might be helpful. There really are no steadfast rules around meditation. The only rule I have found is that you should attempt to do it, no matter how you feel about it or how awkward it might feel. Take your phone out, set a timer for ten minutes, hit the timer, and close your eyes. Open your eyes after the timer goes off. That is a simple beginning. You can add to the practice as time passes, but you must do it to get its benefits. It’s that simple. Most people think they don’t have the time, but trust me, you have the time. You’re not that busy. Reflections Why do you not meditate more? Take a break. Relax. Everybody’s doing it. Daily Challenge Make a comfortable place in your home to meditate. Dedicate a corner and buy a nice meditation pillow. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

Summary Carl reads an excerpt from the book about the spiritual malady. The conversation explores the concept of the spiritual malady and how it manifests in individuals. It delves into the feelings of restlessness, irritability, and discontent that arise from this malady and the various ways people try to fill the void. The importance of examining one's life and identifying areas of brokenness is emphasized, as well as the need for a spiritual healing. The conversation also touches on the role of the 12-step program in addressing the spiritual malady and finding healing. In this conversation, Broken Beth discusses her journey of recovery and the spiritual malady that she believes was present from birth. She emphasizes the importance of actively working the steps and having a spiritual experience to truly understand the emptiness and lack of purpose that addiction brings. Carl D shares his experience of falling in love with the guy at 7-Eleven and how it changed his perspective on life. They discuss the importance of doing the work and not just seeking relief in fellowship. The conversation concludes with a discussion of the promises of recovery and the transformation that can occur. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 25 - Buy the book! It’s one thing to ask for help. It’s another thing entirely to receive it. For some reason, some of us can get the courage to ask someone for help, but when it comes to receiving the help that we asked for, it becomes nearly impossible. We get caught up in old patterns of thinking and self-reliance. We think we know better and give it another “college try.” For whatever reason, we take back the reins of our lives, and we scream one more time into the void, “Yah mule,” like so many other times. When you ask for help, try to remain open. If you knew what to do, you would have done it already. So, give yourself a break. You don’t know the answer. Let someone else have an opportunity to guide you. You never know, it just might work. Reflections Can you receive help? It may not be the help you imagined, but it is help. Consider it. Daily Challenge Ask for help on some small thing today. See if it reduces your load a little. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 24 - Buy the book! My sponsor once led a meeting where he decided the topic would be “The spiritual malady,” and I had no fucking clue what that was. Then, the asshole (my sponsor) called on me to speak. I, of course, tried to bullshit and sound smarter than I was. I fumbled a few words out of my mouth and tried to put some ideas together, but I had no idea. I ended my share as quickly as possible and let everyone get on with their meeting. That meeting led me to look into this “Spiritual Malady” business much closer. So, I hunted the interwebs and found numerous discussions on the topic. Accumulating a rough definition, I began to see that I have always had a “spiritual disease or ailment.” I have always felt separated from everyone and everything. I have had a hole in my soul for as long as I have been alive. From birth, I have had this nagging and gnawing sensation that I had, at some point, lost some magnificent and radiant part of myself that I could never get back. A deepening emptiness that got worse every year and significantly worse whenever I got sober. I know what restless, irritable, and discontent are with every fiber of my being. Reflections Do you know what a spiritual malady is? Do you feel different today? Daily Challenge Write down your definition of a “Spiritual Malady.” --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 23 - Buy the Book! Expectations can really take all the fun out of life. We want something, so we work hard to get it, and when we don’t get what we want, we get discouraged, angry, or upset. It can really get disheartening and make a person want to give up trying. But don’t you fucking think about it! This may be a foreign concept, but the results are not up to you. You don’t have control over the output, only the action. It’s important to consider your motivation when approaching new projects or endeavors. Suppose your intentions are not good, or you only take action for a certain result or reason. In that case, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. Again, taking action is its own reward. The work is your responsibility and the reward, not the results. Reflections Are you taking action for a specific result? What if you don’t achieve it? Will you still do the work? Daily Challenge What do you really want to do? What’s in your heart? What is your life’s task? What do you owe yourself and the world to do? Do that. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 22 - Buy the book! When we live as we have, we find ways to act and behave that are not always in tune with others. We become so selfish and self-centered that we neglect or even forget others altogether. This can cause a lot of undesired friction among families and friends. It takes a real effort to free ourselves from this kind of thinking. But it’s not just our thinking that got us here. It was also our actions. So, it would just be fucking silly to assume that only our new thinking would make it better. It takes direct, consistent action to change our thinking. This new life can only be experienced; it is not something you philosophize or think about. It’s something you do, and we must approach our problems from a new direction and act our way into right thinking and not think our way into right acting. Reflections How much time do you spend thinking about a problem versus acting on your problem? Daily Challenge Take more action today. What can you DO today? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 21 - .Buy the book! There will be a time when your mind calms down. When the buzz stops buzzing, the voices inside your head no longer contemplate suicide or homicide. It will happen quickly - or slowly - but it will happen if you continue to do the things everyone suggests in recovery. There will be days that are full of nothing. The best days of absolute serenity. You will spend hours sitting on your back patio or in your bedroom, reading, playing games with your children, or taking long walks in a park to watch the sunset. You will know peace at some point. Do not confuse the feeling of peace with boredom. This is not complacency. It’s comfort. And at times like this, you must strive to remember how badly you desired these moments. Reflections Do you remember what it was like when you hit bottom? They often call it “The dark night of the soul.” Did you ever have one? Daily Challenge Think of a place in your home filled with peace and comfort. How can you make that place more comfortable? If you don’t have a place, create one. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 20 - Buy the book! Experience, strength, and hope. This is the format we follow when we share with others. This basic format allows us to talk about where we’ve been and how we got here, the process of working a program (transformation), and finally, the encouragement that the listener can do the same. It’s not easy to pour your heart out to strangers, hoping they will someday acquire what you have found. Yet, we do this week after week, and some of us get discouraged at the precession of the “passing parade” of alcoholics and addicts. But after developing compassion and empathy for the addict or alcoholic, the irony is that there is plenty of opportunity to feel compassion and empathy in the rooms of recovery. It can be downright depressing. But on that rare occasion, someone walks in, sits down, opens their ears, closes their mouth, hears the message of experience, strength, and hope, and then stays a while. And they heal. And they do recover. Reflections Have you ever thought about your story of experience, strength, and hope? What is it? Daily Challenge Write it out. Put your story down on paper so you can better communicate it to others. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 19 - Buy the book! Man! You know those moments when nothing goes your way? You struggle to make ends meet, skimp, save, and feel like you’re doing all the right things, and when you least expect it or need it, something else breaks? The car breaks down. The washing machine just stops working. The water heater doesn’t heat. You lose a can of soup. Etcera! Last year was one of the worst years I have had in a long time. It seemed, at every turn, it rained and then poured. I would overcome one thing, and another would pop up to take its place. There is a video (see link below) where this “Irish Uncle loses his soup” and throws a cringy-man-fit you must see to believe. At one point, he shouts, “The madness of life!” And in that scream, I can see all of the anger and frustration that I have ever had; how I have felt throughout the years, at any given time, when things just aren’t going my way. Today, instead of throwing a fit, I can only laugh at the absurdity of my childish desire to make a can of soup “APPEAR!” It’s just soup, for fuck's sake. Reflections When was the last time you threw an adult fit? How did it feel afterward? Daily Challenge Watch: https://youtu.be/Duh-jWfOcvg “Irish Uncle loses his soup.” --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

Support the podcast and buy the book!⁠ In this episode of SoberPod, Carl reads from his book and discusses the topic of anger and losing control. He shares personal experiences of throwing adult fits and reflects on the consequences of such behavior. Carl also introduces a five-step process from Stoicism to manage anger and respond wisely. He emphasizes the importance of self-monitoring, cognitive distancing, postponement, modeling virtue, and functional analysis. The episode concludes with a call to support Chelsea and a reminder to stay active and sober. Throwing adult fits and losing control can have negative consequences and damage relationships. Stoicism offers a five-step process to manage anger: self-monitoring, cognitive distancing, postponement, modeling virtue, and functional analysis. Practicing these steps can help individuals respond wisely and avoid destructive behavior. Supporting others in their recovery journey is important and can make a difference. Staying active and sober is crucial for maintaining sobriety --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 18 - Buy the book Sitting across the room, I could see Edmund was fiddling with his Styrofoam cup and carving a pattern on the sides with his fingernail. Edmund was not like me. He was a much older man, a minority. And I am as non-minority as they come. As we all did, he listened to the opening speaker, and after they were done, they announced, “And Edmund is our main speaker.” I really thought we were nothing alike when I looked at Edmund, but after he began to speak, almost every word that came out of his mouth for the next forty-five minutes was my exact story. All you would have to do is change the names and locations, and it was as though Edmund and I were switched at birth. They say, “look for the similarities and not the differences,” when getting into “the rooms,” but in this case, how could I do anything else? It was literally my story being spoken. Reflections Have you ever heard a stranger tell your story? Are we really that unique? Daily Challenge Find ways to share your story. You never know the impact you might have on someone. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 17 We were “driven by a hundred forms of fear.” This is what the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous says. I couldn’t agree more. How often have you been fearful of not getting something you want or of losing something you have? Out of that sentence, we still have ninety-eight more forms of fear to deal with. WTF! That’s a lot of fear. So many situations, relationships, pain, injury, finances, security, sexual relations, etc. It’s a lot of shit! Too much shit to account for on this page. So, what does one do with all this fear? Well, the Big Book suggests taking an inventory and attempting to see where these natural instincts got misdirected/warped and became our mental liabilities. The thought that we are driven by fear (and mostly in our own heads) can be a shock to some of us, but once it’s put down on paper, the idea becomes all too clear. Reflections Have you attempted anything like this in your life? Is now the time? If you have done it already, what was your takeaway? Daily Challenge Look into the 12 Steps and see if they might help you. For example, search: “12 Steps of A.A.” If you have done them already, review your Fourth Step again. Is there anything you left out? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 16 What are your hands and feet doing right now? Where are they? Really? That’s exactly where you’re supposed to be. Doesn’t that feel good? All your life has led up to this moment, right here, right now. Every decision from birth to this moment has guided you here. Is that not remarkable? Look around you. Are you safe? Do you have food and shelter? Do you? Lucky motherfucker! No matter where you are today, be there. Be aware of every motherfucking thing. Enjoy it to the fullest extent. Take it all in, and remember that you are exactly where you need to be today. Reflections Where did you think you should be instead? Are your thoughts about yourself based on reality? Are your thoughts grounded in gratitude? Daily Challenge Look around you. Be grateful for the basics today. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 15 Fuck! I never call my mother. I really should. She is getting up there in age, and she deserves a better son. It’s hard, sometimes, in the thick of life, to stop and call your parents. Also, sometimes I don’t want to relive the past, and when I see my mother, it reminds me of some fucked-up shit. It’s not that I dislike her. I have a hard time with my emotions relating to the past. It’s why I go to A.C.A. and why I see a therapist. The reason why I feel I should call my mother is two-fold. One: that I really should call my mother and be a good fucking son. She carried me for nine months and put food on the table. She could have given up or given me up, and she didn’t. Two: I need to face the past and let it go. I/We/You need to move on and get over that shit. It was a lifetime ago. Tell you what, if I call my mom, you will call yours. Agreed? Reflections Why do you not call your family? Is there something in the past still disturbing you? Daily Challenge Call your mother/father or guardian. The guardian that tried to raise you. Just make the call. No excuses. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 14 Every day I get up and take long, deep breaths listening to Headspace. Then I watch “The morning wake up” on the app and follow it up with 15 minutes of guided meditation. Toward the end of the meditation, there is a moment when the guy says, “Let the mind think if the mind has been wanting to think.” And I say, “No. Fuck you, mind!” That’s gotten us into a lot more trouble than it’s worth. So, I don’t think. That is my cue to interrupt the mind or my “Self” and take a page from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (Page 63). It is the Third-Step prayer that I have taken the time to memorize. It reminds me of my selfish nature and that I should be focused outside of myself throughout the day. This ritual has become routine and is an important reminder of my recovery today. Reflections Do you have a ritual? Daily Challenge Memorize the Third-Step prayer: God, I offer myself to Thee — to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, That victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy Way of life, May I do Thy will always! (The wording is, of course, quite optional) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 13 We often relate too strongly to our lower self. What do we mean by that? Well, it’s the go-to identity some of us use in our daily lives. We have discussed it as being the “baddie” or “playing for the bad team.” In some psychology circles, they call it “The shadow self.” Sounds kinda ominous. No matter how you define it, that lower self can be a lifelong relationship that is hard to shake. We believe that is what defines us. Being a bad-ass motherfucker, tough as nails, etc. But are we really? And is that what we really want? Sometimes that persona may be needed when defending yourself from some thugs in a grocery store parking lot. Still, it’s seldom the foot you would like to lead with in your daily life. It causes more harm than good. Would you not agree? Reflections What is stopping you from acting on the nature of your higher self? Who do you admire that has led an extraordinary life? Daily Challenge Challenge your sense of self today to lead a mighty life. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

Buy the book! In this conversation, Carl and Chelsea discuss the purpose of their podcast, SoberPod, and the importance of one addict or alcoholic helping another in recovery. They introduce their book, '366 Fucking Days Sober,' and encourage listeners to engage with the daily meditations and affirmations. They highlight the significance of emotional sobriety and challenge the critical inner voice that often undermines self-worth. The conversation touches on topics such as setting boundaries, saying no without guilt, and practicing self-care. The conversation explores the theme of the critical inner voice and its impact on self-perception and behavior. The speakers discuss their experiences with negative self-talk and the importance of challenging and reframing these thoughts. They emphasize the need to confide in others and seek support in order to break free from the cycle of negative thinking. The conversation also touches on the significance of forgiveness and self-compassion in overcoming the critical inner voice. Overall, the speakers encourage listeners to confront and address their negative thoughts and beliefs in order to achieve personal growth and recovery. Takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 12 In the Big Red Book of A.C.A., there are affirmations on page 329 that we should be reading each day. There are 23 of them, and they say things like, “It is okay to trust myself;” “It is okay to feel angry;” “It is okay to say, ‘I don’t know,” and “It is okay to dream and have hope.” As much as I try, I find it hard to believe what I read. Intellectually, I understand that I have inherent value as a human being and/or child of God. Still, in my heart of hearts, there is a voice that says, “You’re not good enough. You don’t deserve it. No matter how hard you try, you will always be less than.” This is what some of us fight against each day we wake up. My current sponsor calls it “88.9 KFUK Radio,” which plays in his head all day, too. What does the radio in your head play? Reflections Do you have an inner voice that is hard to silence? What does it say most of the time? Daily Challenge Visit https://adultchildren.org/meditation - Visit the ACA site and read their daily affirmation book each morning. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 11 It doesn’t have to be this way. It may feel like it, but it doesn’t. You don’t ever have to drink or drug again if you don’t want to. There are many options and pathways to change. You may feel like you have tried them all. But have you? Have you tried them all? Bet you haven’t! But you have attempted to be fucked up. You have tried being stoned and on the low side of the road more often than not. So, why not try something new and not pick up? And, just for today, try something different from what you have done in the past. Today, you don’t have to do what you’ve always done if you don’t want to. Reflections Does it have to be this way today? Am I living a life of freedom or bondage? What has me in bondage? What allows me freedom? Daily Challenge Meditate for 20 minutes today. Pick a comfortable spot and set a timer. Close your eyes and breathe. It doesn’t matter what your brain does. Just keep your eyes closed and breathe until the timer goes off. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message