Sober Pod - Recovery Podcast

May 6 Don’t we often try to maneuver and manipulate things to meet our needs or demands? We make suggestions and say things when we know we shouldn’t make comments or hints - fuck - even a gesture can be manipulating if you’re doing it right. Looking for ways over or around the problem? Man, there are just too many ways to fuck with shit, huh? Sometimes, the hardest thing to come to grips with is the fact that we don’t have the answers or solutions. And the most important fact: it may not be up to us at all, and it may be someone else’s problem entirely. The fact that we should step the fuck back and not engage never occurs to some of us. In other words, “let it go.” Have you heard that one before? Reflections What are you fucking with? What is it that motivates you to put your nose where it does not belong? Daily Challenge Think about letting go. Here, I will help: “Let it go, let it go. Can't hold it back anymore.” Now, that song is in your motherfucking head all motherfucking day! Ha! That should help. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

Summary - Buy the book! In this conversation, Carl and Chelsea discuss the theme of change and the challenges that come with it. They explore the concept of impermanence and the difficulty humans have in accepting change. They share personal experiences of navigating change and the growth that can come from it. The conversation also touches on the topic of pregnancy and the changes it brings. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the importance of embracing change and finding comfort in the midst of it. The conversation explores the themes of change and impermanence, particularly in the context of recovery from addiction. The speakers discuss how everything in life is subject to change and how accepting this reality can lead to personal growth and the ability to adapt. They share their experiences of coping with change and the importance of having a support system to navigate through difficult times. The conversation also touches on the process of grieving the loss of the old life and identity associated with addiction. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the importance of embracing change and seeking support in order to find peace and stability. Takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 5 Fuck! I remember the day so vividly. Early in recovery, I was walking down the sidewalk with my one-year-old daughter. The sky was so blue and vivid, the grass so green and rich with life. A real estate agent had posted flags on every lawn for a national holiday, and my daughter was walking along and snatching up every single one of them. As we walked along, I had this feeling of goodness wash over me. It was like I had been washed of all the dirt and grime that drinking and living a life of misery had built up over the years. I felt freer than I had ever felt before. I can’t explain it, but I knew I crossed over and joined the good team. I was no longer a baddie playing for the bad team. No longer that hateful, resentful person. I found a spark of joy that seemed to lighten my load. A spring in my step! I took a picture as my little girl stumbled down the sidewalk with multiple flags in each hand. This day, I started to play the game differently. Reflections Have you joined “the good team,” or are you still playing for “the baddies”? What is motivating you today? Daily Challenge Retrace your day yesterday. What little moment sticks out? Where could you have been better? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 4 The only thing constant in life is change. Impermanence is the nature of all things. There is not one thing on this planet that does not go through a constant state of change. Though some things may look permanent and lasting, they definitely are not. Everything. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. is changing right before your eyes. So, why do we have a hard time accepting this reality? Why do we fight so hard against the nature of all things in the Universe? Change will always involve some sort of loss, no matter how positive. Maybe that’s why we have such a hard fucking time? Either way, we don’t have the power to stop it. Do you? Reflections How can you be more comfortable with change? Have you ever looked back on some of the most impactful moments of your life and discovered how crucial they were to your growth as a person? Daily Challenge Buy some new clothes this week. Go shopping by yourself. Pick out what you like. Wear it as soon as possible. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 3 “I'd rather go through life believing I’m an alcoholic/addict than go through life drinking/drugging, trying to convince myself I'm not.” –Unknown What defines an addict or alcoholic? You’re the only one who can determine if you are an addict/alcoholic because it has more to do with your relationship with the drink or drug than anything else. But let’s give it a try here. Two factors determine whether you are an addict or alcoholic. One aspect is that once you start drinking or drugging, you can’t stop; one is too many, and a thousand is never enough. We can’t put the brakes on and always desire more once we start. The next factor is that once we have stopped, we obsess about when we will start again. In certain recovery circles, this is known as "the allergy of the body and the obsession of the mind.” If you have it, you know it, and you can quickly identify yourself as an addict/alcoholic and move forward with that truth. Reflections Do you know you’re an addict/alcoholic? Have you decided how you want to go through life? Daily Challenge Look up: https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/faqs.htm – The words “drinking/drinks/drink” in the Alcohol Use Disorder section at the bottom of the page can easily be replaced with drugging/drugs/drug, etc. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 2 In 2022, I interviewed one of the founding members and drummer, Ryan Dusick, from Maroon 5. And Ryan’s accomplishments in beating skins and matching tempos and rhythms did not compare to what he was doing today. With his newfound sobriety, he has become a therapist and is committed to helping others find and enjoy recovery. He also wrote a book about his journey: "Harder to Breathe - A Memoir of Making Maroon 5, Losing It All, and Finding Recovery". Isn’t that better than playing drums in a rock band? I mean, isn’t it? How well he must sleep at night these days. Less anxiety, a lot less fucking vomit, no pain, just peace and a restful evening. Knowing he did his best to help others in the world do their best, too. That sounds like its own reward. Reflections What makes you happy? Where do you find your peace of mind? Daily Challenge Listen to the episode mentioned by searching for “harder to breathe sober pod.” --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

May 1 The 12 Steps of Recovery do not have a corner on the market of sobriety. There are many ways to get sober. You don’t need to work the 12 Steps, but you should be prepared to live sober. That’s where the 12 Steps help in that process. The 12 Steps borrowed, stole, regurgitated, and reconstituted the same principles that all well-balanced people have lived by since the dawn of time. There is nothing new in the “Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.” It contains nothing that hasn’t been published in all the other helpful books of the past. The principles of honesty, hope, faith, courage, integrity, willingness, humility, brotherly love, self-discipline, perseverance, spirituality, and service have been in place and practiced in various philosophies, faiths, and religions. The only thing that the 12 Steps and A.A. did differently is put it into a language that the addict/alcoholic could understand. The message came with compassion, proper depth, and weight. Reflections Have you ever read the “Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous”? Why not? What could it hurt? Daily Challenge Just read it: https://www.aa.org/the-big-book - For free! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

April 30 Setbacks. Downfalls. Missed mortgage payments. Repossession and desperation. We know the extent of our disease, and it involves more than just feeling like shit all the time. We have creditors and bankruptcy behind us and ahead of us. We have our mother’s wedding ring that we pawned just to get a bottle or bag. We have real damage that can span a lifetime. Disheartening to look back, huh? Sure it is. Who wouldn’t be saddened by a life of fuckery and bullshit? But no matter how messed up it was, it can be overcome. Though it may never feel like it, you can start down the path of redemption. This is the classic story of “The Hero’s Journey,” and it’s the fabric of all good stories. You have refused the call to overcome these deficits a few times, but not this time. This time you can - and will - slay the dragon, bring back the gold, get the girl (or man, we don’t judge), and live. Happily ever after. Reflections Sobriety is not the end of the story; it’s just the beginning. How will the rest play out from here? Are you ready? Daily Challenge Write it out. What’s your journey so far? Write it down. The best is yet to come. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

April 29 The “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous states (on page 52), “We were prey to misery and depression.” Some of us, thank God, can say this isn’t us. But for some of us, it’s the constant theme of our lives. It’s not that we asked for or welcomed it, but we are certain that we are cursed and that misery and depression follow us wherever we go. And some of us (like your illustrious author) relished the idea of being miserable. It was the perfect excuse: the all-encompassing reason to act the way I did, think the way I did - and it was the perfect reason to continue drinking the way I had been. “If you had my life, you’d drink too,” a lot of people exclaim. Some of us have even said those exact words. If you ask anyone with long-term recovery, they will tell you that it does get better and that you deserve to be happy. Reflections Do you believe that you deserve to be happy? Why not? Really? Daily Challenge If you are having trouble with depression, there is help. Visit: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

This is a talk given by Carl D on his experience with Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) and the journey of self-discovery and healing. He discusses the false self and true self in ACA, the 14 traits of ACA, the dangers and lessons learned on the journey, and the promises of ACA. Carl shares his personal experiences and how ACA has helped him find his true self and live a happier, more authentic life. Key Takeaways Buy the 366 Days Sober book from Soberpod! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

April 28 Action. Motherfucker. Action. You can sit around and talk about shit all you want, but if you are not willing to take action on the things that are in front of you, you are wasting your breath. How many times have you said you were going to do “X” (whatever “X” is), and you put it off or thought, “Maybe I can get to that tomorrow”? We procrastinate and put things off all the time. Some people have a nagging sense that something is not right as they get tired and feel worn out and put off making doctors’ appointments. Only to find later that if they had gone to the doctor months ago, they could have stopped their cancer from spreading. But now it’s too late. Most things we put off don’t have such dire consequences, but they greatly impact our daily lives. Reflections What are you putting off today that you should have done weeks or even months ago? Daily Challenge Start doing that shit! Motherfucker! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

April 27 This may be shocking to you, but we all believe in some form of a Higher Power. Some of us put faith in the bottle, and some in the hands of God. Either way, we relied on a power outside of ourselves to guide our actions. For a time, it may have worked in our drinking and using, until it didn’t. As we approach our bottoms and survive the fall, we get asked to consider a new way of living; we are asked to define our personal relationship with God as we understand God. Some of us have such a hard time digesting this new idea. What does one do with this new dilemma? The only thing that is asked of us all is, to be honest, open-minded, and willing. That’s it. Don’t say anything to appease anyone else. This is the beauty of the gift of “spirituality.” We get to define our experience with that still small voice inside us and follow its guidance from faith to belief and beyond, with or without a deity. Reflections Are you enjoying your personal freedom to choose your own concept of a Higher Power? Daily Challenge Have you defined whom your God needs to be? Have you written it down? What characteristics does your God need to have today? Don’t worry. It’s just paper, not a stone tablet. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

April 26 Patience is a virtue. What is a “virtue”? Glad you asked! Virtue is “behavior showing high moral standards.” And the next time you are waiting in line or have been put on hold, try not to lose your shit, would ya? It’s childish and shows a lack of empathy for the person who is trying to get to you. They could be new on the job. They could be distracted by their inner thoughts. Maybe they’re going through the loss of a pet or loved one. The point is, you can be a little less selfish and wait a little longer without calling the manager (fucking Kevins and Karens!) or making a scene. Try. Try to hold your tongue and just let it pass. And it does pass. Reflections How often have you lost your shit in traffic or waiting in line? As though it was all happening to you! Daily Challenge Today, if you have to wait, look for what else you can do in the meantime. What else can you use that time for? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

April 25 Take a fucking break. Even God rested on the seventh day, for crying out loud! We tend to get so caught up in the “go, go, go” of life that we can forget to rest. We don’t need to be “going” all the time. When you were drinking and using, you probably sat for hours not doing anything and were perfectly fine with it, but, for some reason, now that your mind seems to be working (that statement needs evaluating), you act like someone is riding your back with a whip that snaps while he screams, “Yah, mule! Yah!” Stop for a second. Slow down. Breathe. Reflections When was the last time you did absolutely nothing? And planned to do it? What is the most nothing you have ever not done? (Ha! My own Yogi Berra statement!) Daily Challenge Plan a day this month to do absolutely nothing. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

April 24 “It’s all about balance.” – That’s what my sponsor, John, would say to me when I put too much emphasis on one thing or another in my life. And something else would begin to suffer in my life. Sooner or later, my wife complained that I wasn’t spending enough time at home or that “We never go anywhere.” Or I was working too much. Etcetera. It’s partly why, at the end of our introductory lead-in statement, we used to say on Sober Pod, “Listen in moderation.” Because, as alcoholics and addicts, we tend to do everything full-bore (at maximum capacity). We are either all in or not in at all. And this is usually at the detriment of other important things like relationships, health, money, and many other things that desperately need our attention. Reflections Is your life about balance today? Do you seek balance in your life? Daily Challenge Take ten minutes to look at the day you have planned. Is it really balanced? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

April 23 Have you ever tried a meditation app or service? These tools can be powerful and help your recovery in so many ways. From “Calm” to “Headspace” and even “Apple+.” All these apps have one thing in common. The results of meditation can vary from a sense of well-being to lessening depression, anxiety, pain, etc. Meditation has been at the heart of almost every new-age spirituality and major religion for thousands of years. There are different kinds of meditations, and each has its own benefits. Some people breathe deeply, and others just pause, contemplate and wait. No matter what the practice and what you choose, it is only that you start and continue that matters. Try it for a year and see if it changes your outlook or improves your recovery. What have you got to lose? Reflections What experiences have you had with meditation? Do you think it’s bullshit? Have you really tried meditation on a daily basis? Daily Challenge See above. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

April 22 You hate going there. You totally do. Every year you debate whether you should or shouldn’t. You say to yourself, “It’s just one day. What can it hurt?” Well, it hurts you. Because, for whatever reason, you don’t like going to a friend, relative, annual engagement, or whatever. For whatever reason (and there really needs to be only one reason that you don’t want to), you don’t want to go. So, fucking don’t go. It really is that simple. Honestly, nobody will take away your birthday. And if the person/people are mad at you because of it, well fuck them (in a kind way, of course). It’s none of their business why you don’t feel like it or want to. You really don’t have to explain yourself to anybody. The person’s opinion that matters at the end of the day is your own. Reflections When was the last time you attended a function that you just wanted to leave? Why didn’t you? Daily Challenge Today, don’t attend anything you don’t want to attend. Exercise your personal freedom and autonomy. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

Summary In this conversation, Carl and Dr. Alan Berger discuss the concept of emotional sobriety and its importance in recovery. Dr. Berger shares his personal journey of addiction and recovery, highlighting the pivotal moment when he encountered someone who embodied emotional freedom. They explore the idea of emotional sobriety as freedom from expectations and the ability to live from the inside out. Dr. Berger's book, '12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety,' is discussed, with each insight representing a key aspect of emotional sobriety. The conversation emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and personal growth in achieving emotional sobriety. The conversation explores the concept of emotional sobriety and its importance in recovery. It discusses the different stages of recovery, with stage one being physical sobriety and stage two focusing on emotional sobriety. The idea of radical responsibility is emphasized, highlighting the need to take ownership of one's emotions and behavior. The concept of a spiritual bypass is also discussed, cautioning against using spirituality as a means to avoid dealing with emotional trauma. The conversation concludes with the understanding that emotional sobriety is a practice and a journey of progress, not perfection. Takeaways Resources Learn more about Dr. Berger by visiting 4dphd.com Buy the book on Amazon! Read on Kindle! Exploring Emotional Sobriety: Allen Berger and Herb K BUY 366 F***ing Days Sober --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

April 21 We don’t shoot our wounded. This business of getting - and remaining - sober is fucking hard. Is it not? For some of us, it is the hardest thing we will ever do. The personal strife and confusion. The desire to drink and the desire not to drink can be terribly confusing. “Baffling,” even. Some of us get relief right away; for others, it can take months or longer. But it can and does happen. Some of us may feel cursed, even jealous, as we see people have the temptation lifted from them while we still struggle. If this is you, your path may be more challenging, but if you can stay the course, you will find the rewards are just that much sweeter. Reflections Is there something else I can do to ensure my recovery today? Am I doing all that I can? Daily Challenge Have you tried being of service today? Who can you help today? Even if just a little. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message

April 20 There is a story about a drunk who dropped his keys on the street. The drunk was looking for his keys in the dark after the bars had closed. A cop, sitting in his car as the rain drizzled down his window, watched the drunk crawl around on his hands and knees, looking for his keys. The cop noticed that the guy only crawled around underneath the area illuminated by the street light. The cop got curious about the drunk and went over to see if he could help. The officer approached the drunk and asked, “Why aren’t you trying to look in the dark areas where you can’t see?” The drunk looked up at the cop and answered, “Because there’s no light there!” The moral of the story? Look where you can’t see. Poke around a little. Look and feel for the sore spots and address those. Maybe you will find your keys. – get it! Knee slapper! Reflections Are you looking at just the illuminated areas? Have you tried to look into the darkness? Daily Challenge Have you been afraid to address the darker things? Maybe, today, it’s time to get professional help? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/soberpod/message