The Dysregulated Podcast

Send Me a Message! This week, anxiety hit me in a way that genuinely scared me. Not just the usual panic or dread—but the fear of anxiety itself. When it spirals beyond my control, when I’m bedridden for days, sweating, hiding from the world, and feeling powerless to stop it… that’s when the real bad thoughts creep in. I felt like anxiety could take me down at any moment, and I wouldn’t be able to get back up. But somehow, I crawled out of my anxious den. I went for a run, got a haircut (despite the social anxiety!), and even found some joy watching the mighty Newcastle Knights claim victory. It was a brutal week, but I made it through. In this episode, I break down what it's like when anxiety becomes overwhelming, how I fought back, and what helped me regain control. -- Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! Discover Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) with 'The Dysregulated Podcast'! Episode #3: Pros and Cons Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! In this episode of The Dysregulated Podcast, I take you back to one of the most pivotal moments of my entire life —my first kiss. But this isn’t just a nostalgic teenage memory; this was the moment that set everything in motion. From high school struggles and crippling self-esteem issues to the deep insecurities that shaped my identity, this night ignited something far bigger than I ever could have realised at the time. Looking back, I can see that this was the spark that ignited my Borderline Personality Disorder. This is lived experience that only this show provides. No other mental health podcast goes this deep, is this raw and is this vulnerable. This is where the mayhem started! And I am still feeling the effects of my teenage trauma today. -- Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! In this follow-up to My Therapy Reflections #8 (Part A), I take a clearer look at why my workaholic identity is feeling under threat—and why that makes me so damn anxious. Like so many of my parts, the workaholic exists to protect me, keeping me constantly busy so life doesn’t have the chance to bring me down. Always on guard, always working, always driven by pure anxiety. But maybe—just maybe—building my entire identity around being the hardest worker in the room isn’t the healthiest way forward. Maybe there’s a better way. Or maybe I’m just a confused kid with autism and BPD, struggling with identity and anxieties that never seem to let up. Watch this space though, because I'm determined to figure out what on earth I should be aiming at! -- Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! Following my last therapy session, my anxiety was still super high—so I decided to run with it! In this episode of The Dysregulated Podcast, I share how I went for a run (big deal) to help soothe my anxious mind. Did it fix everything? No. But did it help? Absolutely. Despite feeling so mentally drained, today turned out to be surprisingly productive—therapy sesh, two podcast episodes, and a run even! Sometimes, you just gotta show up and face anxiety head-on. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! In this episode of The Dysregulated Podcast, I reflect on an unusually difficult therapy session—one that left me feeling worse instead of better. My anxiety has been at an all-time high, and the very foundation of my workaholic sub-part is being challenged, leaving me feeling unsettled and unsure. It’s been a massive day, even before therapy, and I break down the emotions, thoughts, and struggles that came with it. I'm a wounded warrior in this one. -- Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! In this episode of 'The Dysregulated Podcast' I take an in depth look at the problems plaguing the NSW public mental health system. Over 200 psychiatrists in the public system have indicated their intention of resigning from NSW Health. This is a disastrous outcome for the people of NSW. Although pay is at the heart of this battle, it isn't necessarily about money. This is about funding a failing system and attracting enough mental health professionals to ensure the NSW mental health system can provide for those that desperately need it. -- Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! In this episode of The Dysregulated Podcast, I take a look at the all-too-familiar "Dexy Blues"—the wave of anxiety and depression that hits when stimulant medications like Vyvanse and dexamphetamine start to wear off. I share my experience with these emotional crashes, how my prescription had to be adjusted to soften the blow, and some quick tips to help avoid those tough afternoons. I also reflect on my friends' experiences, how these medications affect her differently and showing how reactions to even the same drugs can vary from person to person. If you're on ADHD meds, I think you’ll really relate to this one! ---- Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! In this episode of The Dysregulated Podcast, I explore the vital role Seroquel plays in my ability to get a good night's sleep and how its absence leaves me battling through the day. Sleep deprivation exacerbates the negative ruminations that seem to take centre stage of my psyche, and today, they’ve been particularly focused on my inner workaholic—the sub-part of me constantly pushing to apply for new jobs and to (hopefully) improve my life! That is one part of me that doesn't slow down, even if the self has! Join me as I do my best to explain the challenges of sleeplessness, self-criticism, and the weight of unrelenting expectations, all before the Seroquel kicks in and I finally get some rest! - Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! Today has been one of those days—the kind where inspiring and motivated emotions go missing. Which is especially tough when you're in an interview trying to present the best version of yourself. That was today's challenge. But that’s the thing with mental ill health—you don’t always get to pick and choose the good days and the bad. And today was not a good one. Listen as I describe in real-time the feeling of "blergh", the state of being where inspiration, motivation and belief in oneself goes missing. -- Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! In this episode of The Dysregulated Podcast, I dive into the power of anger—not the destructive kind, but the controlled, purposeful anger that drives action and transformation. After years of feeling stuck in a career dead-end, trapped by the grip of anxiety, I have used an old trick to shift my mindset. The key? Getting angry! Angry enough to demand more for myself. I explore how channelling anger can override fear and hesitation, offering the strength to push past self-doubt and take bold steps forward. This episode is about finding the fire within, using it to break free from stagnation, and turning frustration into the fuel needed to pursue something greater—like finally using that hard-earned degree! If you’ve ever felt stuck or powerless, this episode will challenge you to rethink anger as a tool for growth and change. It’s time to stop simmering in frustration and start using it to fuel your next move. - Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! In this episode of The Dysregulated Podcast, I take you through my end of year medication review with my psychiatrist. From continuing my taper off certain meds to saying goodbye to others completely, and a revamped approach to managing my ADHD, I share the challenges of finding a balance that works. Tune in as I reflect on the impact of these changes on my mental health, focus, and daily life, and what it all means moving forward! - Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! Follow my journey living with mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way. Lived experience is the driving force of this podcast, and through this lens, my stories are told. This is a raw, honest, and authentic account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future. Support the show To support the show, CLICK HERE You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! After 11 months of sobriety, I’ve found myself back at square one. In this episode, I open up about my journey with alcohol, the challenges of staying sober, and the reasons behind my relapse. Despite nearly a year without drinking, I struggled to see the big rewards I had hoped for—a new job, a partner, or tangible signs of improvement. My "deal" with the universe felt unanswered. I discuss life with autism and social anxiety, navigating solo outings like Oasis tribute shows, and battling the ever-present negative inner monologue. This led me to reconsider alcohol—not as a vice, but as a "tool" to ease social anxiety and improve confidence, much like medication helps with ADHD. However, I explain the reality that alcohol has never truly solved these challenges, especially when it comes to quieting my inner critic or helping me connect with others. This is an honest reflection on relapse, loneliness, and the complex role alcohol plays in managing social struggles and mental health. 🌱 If you’ve faced similar challenges with sobriety, relapse, or social anxiety, I hope this episode offers solidarity and support. You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! In this episode of The Dysregulated Podcast, host Elliot Waters reflects on a significant change in his emotional landscape: the flattening of extreme emotions. No more crying in the shower or panic attacks in bed. Stability is the norm—a welcome change—but it’s not all smooth sailing. While life without drastic downturns and hospital trips is a relief, Elliot opens up about the challenges of finding genuine positive emotion amidst this newfound balance. Contentment feels out of reach, with anxiety quietly lurking in the background, and inspiration—often fuelled by strong positive emotions—seemingly elusive. Join Elliot for an honest exploration of what emotional stability in his dysregulated world means, the void that has emerged, and the next steps to rediscover pure happiness and creative spark. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to go from chaos to calm, but still feeling as though you are “stuck,” this episode will sound familiar! You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message! In this episode of The Dysregulated Podcast, I reflect on a successful two weeks of annual leave. For the first time in years, my car, room, and even the house is all clean—and have stayed that way for over a week! It might sound silly, but those with ADHD will understand this all too well. Not only that, but I also laminated a heap of podcast posters (mindfulness exercise) and put them all around Newcastle! I even looked after our family cat Mabel this week, and everything around me is in order. Unbelievable! I do thank my medication Vyvanse, along with my decision to create a vision for the two weeks, build some structure and routine into my days, as helping me navigate away from the blockages ADHD can cause. But ADHD remains a cruel disorder, as I reflect on a friend who just lost their job due to unmanaged ADHD challenges. This stark contrast reminds me how vital treatment and support are. Tune in for my raw, genuine and very real account of what life is like living with ADHD.