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The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast

Health & Wellness Podcasts

Helping you better understand Sex, Porn & Love Addiction; guiding you through the neuroscience of the brain and sharing what we now better understand about the brain's involvement, from childhood development. To help you effect change; find the real authentic you (whose truth self went off at a tangent in childhood); so that as you discover and become re-acquainted with the real you, having learnt to like yourself, you are equipped to be the best that you can be.Maximise the living of an increased quality of life; and on the journey, achieve recovery and sobriety from Sex, Porn & Love Addiction using The Kairos Centre Changement Recovery Online Webinar programme; bringing colour back to life - without shame.What may be the world's first fully comprehensive Video-on-Demand Webinar Programme to help you gain sobriety and Recover from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction patterns of behaviour. First address the unresolved past uncomfortable events and then go after the Compulsive/Addiction activities.

Location:

United Kingdom

Description:

Helping you better understand Sex, Porn & Love Addiction; guiding you through the neuroscience of the brain and sharing what we now better understand about the brain's involvement, from childhood development. To help you effect change; find the real authentic you (whose truth self went off at a tangent in childhood); so that as you discover and become re-acquainted with the real you, having learnt to like yourself, you are equipped to be the best that you can be.Maximise the living of an increased quality of life; and on the journey, achieve recovery and sobriety from Sex, Porn & Love Addiction using The Kairos Centre Changement Recovery Online Webinar programme; bringing colour back to life - without shame.What may be the world's first fully comprehensive Video-on-Demand Webinar Programme to help you gain sobriety and Recover from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction patterns of behaviour. First address the unresolved past uncomfortable events and then go after the Compulsive/Addiction activities.

Language:

English

Contact:

447866097247


Episodes
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Many women (worldwide) became addicted to Sex & Porn during covid-19 lock down

7/12/2024
(Snippets from an Interview by Caroline Brown of "This Crazy over 40's Life Podcast") - Part 4 - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Something shifted during Covid-19 lockdown. Many women enticed to use phones, computers and tablets during lockdown, crossed their own "values" boundaries, as it seemed reasonable to do so (in the unusual circumstances of lockdown). The problem: Once crossed and their brain experienced the novelty, naughtiness, daringness and thrill of seeing a partner on the other side of the screen - went back for repeat. With repeat, came "normalising". With normalising, came further encroachment. Many women have become addicted to sex and/or porn, but either do not know it, accept it, in denial, reject the notion or head buried - you choose which one! Oh no - don't be angry and upset with me. This might be the start of you reclaiming your life. Shall I push on, undaunted? "In for a penny, in for a pound, hey". For others, romantic novels (Fifty Shades of Grey is now somewhat tame) - they have gravitated to "Romance": as the safe search word on Netflix, Apple TV and Amazon Prime. Those movie viewings (with a bit (no - a lot) of spice) is now normalised night cap viewing with a cup of.... before bed. "Just my way of chilling and winding down. "I deserve"; "no harm done". (Oh - by the way - that sounds like the men's (similar) journey into porn! After all - "I'm not doing anything different to what lots of others watch and are doing"; "this is mainstream TV viewing, not a porn site"; "just a tonic before bed". Very British. At least it isn't sex before breakfast - which is not very British!! Which quote do you use - to justify? (Oh dear. Expect a lot of flack and adverse, annoyed feedback for this episode Gary - "Brace, Brace, Brace". Send them here folks: info@kairos-centre.com). Oh dear! Want to know more? Click the link and come get me. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Duration:00:09:15

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"Pinches & Crunches" in Relationships trigger escape into self-soothing with Sex, Porn, Love Addiction

7/5/2024
(Snippets from an Interview by Caroline Brown of "This Crazy over 40's Life Podcast") - Part 3 - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Sameness and/or difference attracts and are bonded together; but something shifted somewhere along the journey. Falling out of love visited the couple, Something about Core Emotional Needs being met, then stopped being met. Also, how it is we trash out Values and become unshackled. Core Emotional Needs and (separately) Values, are two powerful exercises covered in The Kairos Centre’s Sex Addiction Recovery Programme. You need to know your top Core Emotional Needs and the Values you may be trashing. EMDR can then address the unresolved and unprocessed past hurts and traumas. The Kairos Centre have launched a comprehensive Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles Pre-Married prep, Partnerships, Couples, Marrieds, long, long time Marrieds/Partners) bringing together is experience with hundreds of Singles and couples over 19 years and a few books written on the subjects. See the website. Want to know more? Click the link and come get me. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Duration:00:09:33

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Couples Counselling at the right stage in the Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery journey

6/28/2024
(Interviewed by Caroline Brown of This Crazy over 40's Life Podcast) - Part 2 - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Navigating life is challenging. Navigating partnered/couple relationship is even more challenging. Add Sex, Porn, Love Addiction to the mix - when you are still trying to understand self. What are the things hindering you from being the best that you can be. Sex, Porn, Love Addiction is the self-soother escape and avoidance and so that isn't it - alone! Therapy can help. Then therapy to help the couple. All about helping each of you to better understand self. Not about trying to keep the couple together. All about equipping each of you with increased insight and understanding in order to make better "informed" decisions about the future of the relationship, about self and for the benefit of the couple. Want to know more? Click the link and come get me. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Duration:00:10:10

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A female client’s "Goodbye letter" to Porn, Sex (or was it more love Addiction)

6/21/2024
(Interviewed by Caroline Brown of This Crazy over 40's Life Podcast) - Part 1 - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre You can break free of the (perhaps) generational baton of inherited compulsive behaviours and decide - "it stops with me" Here is one such past Kairos Centre client's description of her journey: "A client’s Goodbye letter to porn, sex & love Addiction A goodbye to sex and love addiction letter, written by a woman after 9 months therapy with Gary McFarlane and Kairos Services and following a transformational dance (5 Rhythms) to express the story and journey: Dear Sex and Love Addiction, It’s time for us to part, forever. Goodbye, so long, be gone, don’t look round I’m not wavering, cheerio, it is done. It is finished; I understand you, I see you for what you are, I don’t need or want you. We can no longer be friends because you are a tedious distraction and a liar. You might offer some saturation in happy woozy oozy feelings, but right next to that you bring confusion, isolation, longing, pining, which can never be met. You remind me of what I seek - unity with the Divine and then snatch that from me, into the embrace of want and lust. If I have to part from the dizzy wooziness so be it, no regrets. It comes with too big a price. You have wasted so much of my time, damaged my body and turned me into a killer. With you for company I have behaved like an unfeeling, all consumed, callous bitch. Nothing else mattered. I tricked and conned people, I stole their hearts, I lied, I hurt them and honestly sometimes I didn’t care. When I did care it was unbearable. Crippling guilt - you forgot to mention that would be an outcome! I feel clear in my moving on. I have known you for many years, but without help couldn’t see you 100% clearly, I didn’t know how to find myself and my power and to move you out of my life. But I found that help and I know for certain now that: I am in control of my life not you. I feel free, I feel like I get to choose. My love for people is bigger not smaller, my capacity is not diminished. I give up the soothing and stroking you offered because they were poor coping methods. They created problems and they held in feelings of anxiety that were ready to leave me. Goodbye anxiety. Goodbye shame and narcissism too, you can all move out together. I know there was a tender little girl that was seeking for a need to be met and I honour her efforts. This addiction saw me through some harsh times, it provided fun and humour, risk and adventure. All these things are still in my capacity and I hold on to the good stuff; including a feminine and masculine sexuality which loves intimacy, lets energy move, connects, reassures, holds. I welcome my ecstatic connection with the infinite, however and wherever it may manifest. Goodbye forever sex and love addiction. I no longer need or want you or feel confused by you. You have no role, You take up room. Goodbye". Want to know more? Click the link to get me. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp www.kairos-centre.com info@kairos-centre.com Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane

Duration:00:08:46

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Society has a view about those identified with Sex, Porn, Love addiction - which mostly is not accurate

6/14/2024
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (10) What do you want from Therapy? Where does your view come from? Is it your view or a “hand me down”? Therapy won’t work until you are ready. But if you take too long (as the masses do), then the hand grenade may go off in your face and then you are left picking up shrapnel. Picking up shrapnel is to be re-active. The preference is to be proactive. Make conscious choices, even if wrong choices (at least you know you made then and can own the fallout); rather than choice be done to you (then you can’t own the repercussions). Make sense? CBT= Cognitive Behaviour (Therapy). The Cognitive (your thinking) will always come before Behaviour (the action). Change your thinking before trying to change Behaviour. If you can change your Mind, you can change your life. Whichever addiction you are caught up in (whether Alcohol, smoking, eating, sex, porn, seeking out connection with love, drugs, gambling or gaming), the craving to use are not under direct conscious control. The memory of the positive after effect feelings (feeling-state) drives the repeat behaviour. Your cognitive (thinking/thoughts) is triggered by the neural pathway set up by the past repeat behaviours; so the thought is - I need to have that thing; do that thing - it will make me feel better. So you go after it. Do it again. Get a temporary fix and also further cemented the neural pathway links. You're back on the hamster wheel. Get it! There may be a high level of sincere motivation to stop, but later on the physiology demand for its chemical fix, situational triggers and disturbing/upsetting feelings, causes a PART of the personality to sabotage; not care about the demands of the other PARTS of the personality. I see, I desire, I want, so I take - kicks in – where “Immediate gratification rules again. Want to know more? Click the link and come get me. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Duration:00:12:56

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Sex, Porn, Love Addiction individuals have enough self-given labels on their forehead without needing extras from society

6/7/2024
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (9) Take your eyes off others and do your own battles and fights ….then, after sorting self, maybe you will have more energy to pick up other things and fulfil your best potential in that area, as you become the best that you can be and leave your positive deposit on this earth. The Kairos Centre is all about helping you to see what you cannot see; then you can now go after the stuff, effect change and seek to be the best that you can be, so others can become the best that they can be – without SHAME, bringing colour back to life. Come taste and see! Make the real thing the real thing; prioritise the right thing. Your brain will sideswipe you to focus on non-essentials. What is the real issue? Compulsive and addiction behaviours is causing you to live and experience a lower quality of life, than you are entitled to and deserve. Re-set, re-set, re-set. Get back to the real thing. Your focus is to change the trajectory that you are on. Change it by just one degree and in a year, see where your new trajectory has taken you. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Duration:00:06:49

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Sex, Porn, Love Addiction keeps you in a loop - with unresolved past (t)(T)rauma

5/31/2024
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (8) "What! I no longer need to do traditional 'Talk Therapy', to address my past impactful stuff of life? Tell me more!" Call it a little “t” trauma – that I cannot even see in my lovely family upbringing or big "T". Trauma isn’t only what happens in the Middle East or Afghanistan. It can be the 6 years old whose action man was taken by the boy down the road and when he went to get it, the boys dad slammed the door in his face and told him to go away. It can be the 7 years old little girl whose friend took her Barbie doll and went off with her best friend and was excluded by the two girls. Why do they remember those events 30 years later? "What has those events got to do with me getting so, so annoyed when my patner uses MY stuff and doesn't put them back. I don't mind them being used, just put them...." Getting help can itself be “Shame” and not acceptable to share stuff outside of the family. Many are locked in with their unresolved issues due to culture and family dynamics. Scientific research has established EMDR as effective for post-traumatic stress. Clinicians also have reported success using EMDR in treatment of the following conditions: Panic attacks, Complicated grief, Dissociative disorders, Disturbing memories, Phobias, Pain disorders, Performance anxiety, Stress reduction, Addictions, Sexual and/or Physical abuse, Body dysmorphic disorders, Personality Disorders…..and many, many more. “Trauma is the external wound, not the internal event” – Gabor Mate “Trauma is a story that has not moved on”. It is a “story” because of the truths that your brain made of the event when it unfolded; but it may not be the full reality because of the compromised brain functioning at the time of the event – but it is set up in the body - from what all five senses took in at the time. Get it? Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Duration:00:09:40

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Those with Sex, Porn, Love Addiction patterns of behaviour do not love or like themselves

5/24/2024
Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (7) “Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest or them all”? How do you answer that question for you? Learn to love self, before you can love others. I use that thing called EMDR to work on the distorted image of self. (I am an Accredited EMDR Practitioner in the UK). What is this thing called EMDR? It is Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing. What a mouth full! I can talk about it til the cows come home, but you will still have frowns on your forehead. Watch a few of the video clips: https://youtu.be/9uE04Blfd-Q?si=MrNZZmCAgmTmOUo7 EMDR (Prince Harry) experience https://youtu.be/M2ra8p4MSOk https://youtu.be/bIJZQAr9nQo https://youtu.be/HNdMHuwvF_M https://youtu.be/xZVw-9ThmSM Stop accepting the crumbs off the table. The brain’s dialogue with you can go like this: “It’s better to have someone, than no one; but people are not safe. Keep them at arms-length and be ready to retreat quickly, if you get a whiff or hint that they are unhappy and may finish with you. It is best to torpedo the relationship; jettison it and protect your heart from further pain, before they do it to you. So, throw in a hand grenade (effectively, to create conflict so as to force the other person to have to leave and finish with you); and then the ‘fait accompli’ kicks in, where – ‘I knew they would finish with me at some point’. (When in fact that was not necessarily what they were planning), but more important that you do it to them, before they do it to you, because it hurts less, done that way and you are then in more control of the pain, than if it is done to you and you were caught off guard (again). Make sense? “Do onto others, before they do it to you” – is being played out repeatedly. It all makes logical sense to your brain, even if it doesn’t to you! Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Duration:00:09:25

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Templates get set up in early life, setting the stage for self-soothing & later on Sex, Porn, Love Addiction enters the stage

5/17/2024
On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (6) Have I said this already - "Childhood has a lot to answer"? Maybe just a few times hey! But are you getting it? Don't start at step 5 or 6 with a Recovery Programme or 12 Steps Support. They are absolutely needed, but not yet. Go back to first base. Step 1. Childhood developmental years. Can't find anything there? You had a lovely upbringing. I don't doubt it. I really don't. But you see, that marvellous complex, yet simple brain - seeking to protect us and do the best for us - will avoid repeat impactful stuff happening. One way is to defend us by blocking stuff out of remembrance; problem is, a part of the brain remembers and carries the stuff, but you cannot access it; and why would you want to, when - in childhood - it caused the child you so much pain; but pain you can't access and have no conscious memory about. (but your unconscious does have memory about it!) "That sounds like Freudian psycho-babble stuff Gary". I know. I agree. "I'm not into that stuff". Neither was I. Kicking and screaming with my finger nails dug deep into the carpet, leaving claw marks as I was dragged into Therapy. Yet, those clever busy-body Therapists were right! And then some time later you begin to learn and gain insight into some things. Just a random few learnings (because they come up in todays audio recording) - include things like: - Someone needed to have set boundaries for us. - We all needed a lighthouse ("Good enough" Parents). Otherwise, we are left floundering on the high seas. - The brain will fill in the gaps and the voids. - There are scripts and batons that we will be handing on as parents (to our children). Know them, see them, assess them and decide if change beckons for you. Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Duration:00:12:12

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Childhood development holds the clues to tracking the setting up of Sex, Porn, Love Addiction

5/10/2024
Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (5) What’s a “Russian Doll” (or is it called a Babushka) got to do with Sex, Porn, Love Addiction? I thought you would never ask! “I haven’t bought into that nonsense “Big boys don’t cry”, when I was growing up”. At least, I don’t think so”! That guy called John Bowlby in the 1940’s dared to put together some suppositions that I didn’t like. How dare he put me in a box and think that he knows me. Yet, “Oh my goodness, that stuff he is talking about me; that describes me. I don’t like this. Anyway, I am a complex being made by God and only Sigmund Freud can unravel the complexities of me”. (This was my coping strategy that I used, to avoid getting penetrated and having to go and see those busy-body counsellors and tell them about my growing up stuff, so they could sort me out!) What does your Resistance and Reluctance look like? The inner child (of me) was curled up deep inside the Russian Doll, with layers of protection, to avoid people I give my heart to, hurting me again. Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | Exploring Manhood | Understanding Masculinity | Male Identity | Role of Men in Society |

Duration:00:08:11

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Coping Mechanisms unveiled: Exploring the Role of Sex, Porn, Love Compulsive behaviour

5/3/2024
Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (4) Men are “Wild at heart”. The book (by that title) by John Eldredge – maybe is on to something. (Worth a read guys - and gals). Where there are some things that were not done “good enough” during childhood development, the brain then sets about trying to fill the deficits. Sometimes with coping strategies, such that Sex, Porn and/or Love Compulsive activities enter the mix, after the game console or sports, ain’t doing it well enough. Sex/Porn/Love Addiction is always about self-soothing; escape; to manage emotions - whatever those emotions may be. Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | Exploring Manhood | Understanding Masculinity | Male Identity | Role of Men in Society |

Duration:00:06:41

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Sex, Porn, Love Addiction is indiscriminate between Masculinity & Femininity, but women tend....

4/26/2024
Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (3) Big up the women So much more practical in finding solutions. Teach us please ladies. We need you. Us men have become emasculated by a society. What does masculinity mean? Aren’t there two roles – Masculinity & Femininity? Aren’t they different? Don’t they complement each other, to create a balanced society? Too simplistic Gary? We need someone in our life to role-model the sexual type that belongs to each of us. Without it, so many are floundering on the high seas, trying to do the best with the best that they have been handed. “Life isn’t fair” - I decided, long ago. Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | Exploring Manhood | Understanding Masculinity | Male Identity | Role of Men in Society |

Duration:00:08:00

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Opportunity, Trauma & Attachment: Three ways Sex, Porn, Love Addiction are set up

4/19/2024
Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (2) Impediments to having great relationships Disruption in the bonding in early childhood development with the significant caregivers (usually parents), is a key factor. The male (a father) plays a very important role. Masculinity cannot be supplemented by a mother. It is not "do as I say", it is "do as you see me doing". The eyes take in the largest amount of information during the communication process. What gets set up in childhood, plays out in adulthood, in how we interact with others; seeking to bond, yet avoid repeat hurt. It is called Insecure Attachment. Insecure Attachment in Adulthood, often presents as “Love Addiction”, where the individual is not so much chasing Love, but connection; acceptance; to be inclusive; to be wanted; to be secure. The stuff of Sex, Porn, Love Addiction is indiscriminate. It impacts, in a significant way, LGBTQI. See the latest stats in 2023 research: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/add.16431 https://www.researchgate.net/publication/378528092 Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | Exploring Manhood | Understanding Masculinity | Male Identity | Role of Men in Society |

Duration:00:09:12

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Not a level playing field for the setting up of Sex, Porn, Love Compulsivity

4/12/2024
Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (1) What is Man-ness? There is still a caveman instinct inside of us as men. Has the image got distorted as men try to metamorphize ourselves to fit what society tells us a man should be. Trying to fit what we are really not, is hard work. At some point there may be an increased desire to self-soothe and escape into cyberworld for a while – using sex, porn and/or other compulsive behaviours. Consider this poem: Children Learn What They Live by Dorothy Law Nolte If a child lives with criticism, he [she] learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility, he [she] learns to fight. If a child lives with ridicule, he [she] learns to be shy. If a child lives with shame, he [she] learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with tolerance, he [she] learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement, he [she] learns confidence. If a child lives with praise, he [she] learns to appreciate. If a child lives with fairness, he [she] learns justice. If a child lives with security, he [she] learns to have faith. If a child lives with approval, he [she] learns to like himself [herself]. If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he [she] learns to find love in the world. Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | Exp

Duration:00:08:13

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Deal with trauma before a Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme

4/5/2024
Interview with Roman Mironov of NOFAP (4) Root causes of negative impact on the brain, to cause it to gravitate to self-soothing behaviours? What do you think were the issues which caused your brain to gravitate to self-soothing from those negative impactful behaviours, during those early developing younger years of life (often before puberty)? Bullying, abuse, sexual abuse, parents arguing, witnessing domestic violence, over zealous punishment, comparison with a sibling, never good enough, not fit in, ostracised, parents’ separation and/or divorce, pressure to perform at school, witnessing assaults, fear for safety of self-and/or others…… (What was yours?) Use EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing) to first address the event, BEFORE embarking upon a Recovery Programme or a 12 Steps Programme. Make the first thing the first thing first! You WILL still need a Recovery Programme – to breakdown the negative neural pathways - but by going after the “Cognitve/thinking/ setting up”, you increase the “tendency/propensity” for good outcomes from a Recovery Programme. Make sense? What was and still is the Emotional event for you? Trauma, Anxiety, Stress, Pain, Fear, Panic Attack, Complicated grief, Grieving, Dissociation, Anger, Phobias, Performance Anxiety, Personality disorders…….? “Trauma is the external wound, not the internal event” – Gabor Mate “Trauma is a story that has not moved on”. It is a “story” because of the truths that your brain made of the event when it unfolded; but it may not be the full reality because of the compromised brain functioning at the time of the event; (ie logical brain not fully online at the time) – but it is set up in the body - from what all five senses took in at the time. Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Objectifi

Duration:00:06:41

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Porn use can cause Brain damage

3/22/2024
Interview with Roman Mironov of NOFAP (3) Is porn bad or inherently bad for the brain? I don’t want to be seen as moralising about anyone’s personal values, ethics, standards or morals. What we do know is that experiments demonstrate that porn viewing can do permanent damage to the brain. (We are dealing with lots of porn use over lots of hours; no short periodical or ad hoc use). Once damaged in that way, it is permanent and the deficit cannot be repaired. (“A bit scaremongery Gary”). No, not really. Do your own research. Don’t believe me! A person will not know whether a first few viewings of porn – which will create a template on the brain – will later cause the brain to choose porn as its “go-to” self-soother of choice. You do not choose the compulsion or addictive behaviour of choice. Your brain chooses. Porn use over the years, is not static. Just like illegal drug use and alcohol want increase to give the same high, so porn use likely will increase. The increase tends to be in the form of greater novelty, risk taking, boundary crossing and not getting caught – therefore becoming a greater expert at going underground/hiding - (which "Shame" loves, because Shame is all about “hidden” and “hiding”). Then with increased use, sensitisation to a partner’s body can be set up; fantasy, objectification and dining out on multiple past porn images, become the starter course before being able to have sex. There is then more than two of you in the bed. This is the terrain of Psychosexual Therapy – to help you desensitise. I am a Psychosexual Therapist. Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behaviora

Duration:00:07:36

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Stand up the real you - when Sex & Porn addiction behaviours beckon

3/15/2024
Interview with Roman Mironov of NOFAP (2) This Insecure Attachment thing, has a lot to answer….. Stuff set up in childhood development, has its tentacles in how we are doing our adult lives and relationships. Picture the image of a “Russian Doll”; the layers of the Russian Doll has the smallest version deep inside. That represents the Inner child. Stand up the real you. Which one will stand up? Which one is the real you? The Inner child is deep in the layers seeking protection from ever getting hurt again; because of what the brain is carrying from childhood experiences; things that hurt it; things not in the conscious and so things that even you cannot find or even remember, let alone access; all very unconscious. Problem! You know there is a nice, loveable inner child person deep inside, whom you get a split-second glimpse of. Know you could like, but disappears as quickly as became visible; gone back deep inside, to avoid exposure to repeat hurt. Can you identify with that? Those who can, know what I am talking about. You get it. You also have that experience. Recovery is a journey. You can heal from this Insecure Attachment behaviour. I use EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing) to help clients do so. I am an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working Online with clients based all over the world. Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | NoFap and Porn Addiction Recovery | Sobriety from Pornography Addiction | Pornography Addiction Education | Understanding Porno

Duration:00:07:41

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True Sex, Porn, Love Addiction sobriety is not until one year from last Acting out! Discuss

3/8/2024
Interview with Roman Mironov of NOFAP (1) Don't think about having truly achieved sobriety until one year from the last acting out. “A bit arbitrary Gary. Rather too long, don’t you think?” My reply is that the compulsive and addiction behaviours usually have a few decades start on you. In other words, many clients have been doing the behaviours for decades – often since childhood development. A habit; a hamster wheel behaviour pattern; otherwise more therapeutically called a neural pathway - is well established. It is not going to be possible to wean your brain – your physiology - off the biochemical fix of Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin & Noradrenaline, in a short time frame. There is a “cold turkey” effect. It is not like illegal drugs. The cold turkey effect is mood related. That is what the addiction was set up to manage. And then that thing called “Insecure Attachment” again…. Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | NoFap and Porn Addiction Recovery | Sobriety from Pornography Addiction | Pornography Addiction Education | Understanding Pornography Addiction | Effects of Pornography Addiction | Brain Changes from Pornography Addiction | Pornography Addiction Withdrawal | Coping with Addiction Withdrawal Symptoms | Managing Triggers | Relapse Prevention Strategies | Building Resilience Against Pornography Temptations | Cognitive Behavioral Strategies for Pornography Addiction Recovery | Developing Healthy Coping Mechanisms | Insecure Attachment | <

Duration:00:09:06

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We all need a helping hand in life at some point: Sex, Porn, Love Addiction behaviours needs help

3/1/2024
Interview with Marci Warhaft of "How to ruin your own reputation" Podcast (5) Getting help is not a sign of weakness. Repeated Negative patterns of behaviours, give a glimpse of a problem. I take me into the relationship and is me being me, doing life how I do life – “What’s the problem?”; the problem must be you. There is no problem if there is no problem; but when you know there is a problem – because life just is not working well for you - then you need to lift your head up and acknowledge that you may need a third party (a Therapist) to come alongside you. Do it – even whilst kicking and screaming and your finger nails are leaving marks in the carpet as you are dragged across the carpet into the Therapist's office (or made much easier for you now – Online!) That sounds like my journey; kicking and screaming, that only Freud could unravel a complex being like me! (That was my long time avoidant strategy. "After all, I am a Black man and I aim't sharing me with some busy-body Counsellor. I can do this....") Your partner is going to be a mirror, reflecting "you" back onto you and bringing out/triggering out – you and your stuff. Don’t ditch the partner yet. Maybe work through your stuff first, then decide if you still want to ditch the partner; after all, you are destined to take you and your stuff into any new relationship and repeat the same old, same old. It will just look a little differently with that new partner. Get it? Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships

Duration:00:08:24

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I'm worse than others when it comes to Porn recovery: True or False?

2/23/2024
Interview with Marci Warhaft of "How to ruin your own reputation" Podcast (4) You are not weaker and less robust than others. It is a lie. The behaviours are all about managing emotions, in response to issues in the past - still operating the same way in the present. Once repeat behaviours set in, you are on the hamster wheel and it is difficult to get off. What’s all this got to do with a 6 years old whose Action man or Barbie doll was stolen by the boy down the road or even about someone borrowing your tooth brush but not putting it back and you get so very (OTT) angry when someone don’t put your stuff back after borrowing them? The adult can learn so much about how they are now doing life, by re-visiting the childhood development years. You need to get off the present hamster wheel of negative repetitive behaviours and then create another hamster wheel; but this time, a hamster wheel set up with new positive behaviours, which you repeat over time and not re-open the old negative hamster wheel. That is what The Kairos Centre Recovery Programme is about; creating new hamster wheels; new habits; us Therapists prefer to call - new neural pathways. Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam. Support Our Show Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | Relationships and Reputation | Social Dynamics | Reputation Management | Building Trust | Communication in Relationships | Trustworthiness | Integrity in Relationships | Maintaining Positive Image | Personal Branding | Trust Building Strategies | Honesty in Relationships | Transpar

Duration:00:08:20