The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast

You need to keep your guards up. The stuff (which is now in your past), will keep trying to trip you up. You need to apply effort in order to maintain the hard earned and carved out gains; but gains there are; very tangible; very real. You did it. Not a programme. You did it. I could lead the horse to water, but as a facilitator, I could not make it drink. (By the way, I wasn't calling you a horse)! When you drink; when you drank; you made incremental steps toward your best life, without sex, porn, love addiction. Let's celebrate together. I am your greatest cheerleader. No photos please, of me wearing my ra ra skirt running around the field cheering you on. That photo won't look good on Facebook. Save my blushes - please. Have these podcasts been helpful to you or not? I have only ever had one feedback. (Let me look into the systems to get your regulate feedback), but for now, are you willing to take time out of your active day to send me a message with a thumbs up or down? Maybe say something else about the usefulness. Text, WhatsApp, email or other; you choose, but do say something to me if I am to go on to a next new Series. Ta Tel +44 7866097247 Email: info@kairos-centre.com Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

One such tool - is your Support Structure of people that you can call upon when triggered and the going is tough on a particular day - to get you through that day. Who is in your Inner circle of three close support contacts? Don't go it alone. Don't be an island; "Shame" loves that and rubs its hands with glee - "Got ya". Talk to the three. Tell them your needs. Get agreement to be there for you day and (night!). You will reciprocate in the future. Test the friendship and use it. Then set about carving out one or two others from your Middle circle (who know nothing about the addiction) that you are lining up to replenish the Inner circle of three; in case one of the three can no longer fulfil that role. Fish and hunt for Middle circle friends from your existing social haunts, like the gym buddies, sports buddies, hobbies, clubs, church etc - places that you frequent on a weekly basis. Be "purposeful & intentional" as you invest over time, to develop closer relationships with one or two middle circle acquaintances that eventually can be moved into the Inner circle. Got it? The same then applies to the Outer circle infrequent acquaintances that you get ready to move into the Middle circle over time. Remember, no quick fixes; but it moves you out of the unhealthy associates that pull you back into the addiction. This is longer term work. Want some help? Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

When all else fails; when all the tools have not helped; when you're triggered and battling the near eleventh hour; when you are about to act out. You know it; it seems inevitable; deja vu. You have been hear before; oh so many, many times. So annoying; so frustrating. You know the morning after the night before, is coming; you know the self recrimination will follow; the guilt; the regret; the increased shame; the self loathing; the remorse is an understatement. Yet, you are on a trajectory (with seemingly) no hope of pulling back. Learn to R.U.N. Want to know more about R.U.N? Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey and help you to better understand and see Cognitive Distortions and their insidious role as a part of the Preparation stage, keeping the Cycle of Sex Addiction in tact.. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

Know you, know self, know your brain. It is not always your bestest bestest bff. It often is working against what is good for you, at the behest of what it perceives as being right for you - in the moment. But not all your senses have been consulted beforehand. It does not always tell you the whole truth and nothing but the whole truth. In fact, it can very brazenly sabotage what is good for you, in its assessment of what it believes it is doing to protect you from discomfort. It is "Preparation" to act out activities - coming out of your "Cognitive Distortions; your thinking distortions; your misguided thinking; your ulterior motivation thinking. Remember that CYCLE OF SEX ADDICTION - viewed on a clock face - going clockwise - as stages you go through, from: •ACTING OUT; to •REGRET; to •RECONSTITUTION; to •DORMANT; to •TRIGGER; to •PREPARATION; back to ACTING OUT Call it out. Name it. Shame it. Expose it. It isn't true. It isn't truth. It isn't the best for you. Cognitive Distortions will keep on keeping on showing themselves. What are yours? If you don't know what they are; if you don't spot them; can't spot them; don't change them - you are 10 minutes from acting out; from them biting you in the bum again and again and again and again and again and again and again....... Get it? Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey and help you to better understand and see Cognitive Distortions and their insidious role as a part of the Preparation stage, keeping the Cycle of Sex Addiction in tact.. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

You have heard me repeatedly rabbit on with this mantra haven't you? What you do not understand, you have no hope of influencing; no hope of changing or even embark upon the change process - (and change is a process from A to Z). Why? Because the stuff you don't understand, lives in the unconscious. It works away below the "Mission Impossible" infra red light and no loud alarm is triggering to bring it to your attention. What you must, must, must, must do, is move the stuff from the unseen; from the un-understood; from the invisible; from the unconscious, into the conscious; therefore above the "Mission Impossible" infra red light, so the alarm is triggered. Why? Because what you can now see; can now better understand; you get a chance now to affect; to influence; to change. Problem! Change is a process. Just because you can see it; you can better understand it, does not mean you can change it IMMEDIATELY. What you must recognise, however, is that change has begun; because you can now see the problem. It can never be the same again, even if it is not yet changed. You have now embarked on the stages of change. Change has begun. Be patient and build consistently - one brick upon another - one at a time - consistently. Then you will reach your destiny - that of sobriety. One such hiddenness is that of understanding your Negative Core Beliefs, which are fundamental drivers influencing and shaping how you are doing life; thus beckoning self soothing behaviours that cause you to turn to sex, porn, love addiction acting out activities. Get it? Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

We will say that Sex/Porn/Love Addiction is set up in one of three ways - Opportunity, Attachment issues and/or Trauma. Trauma is not necessarily limited to big events that happen in a war zone. It is also the impact on a seven years old, whose Game Console is taken by a friend and when they knock on the friends door to get it back, a parent slams the door saying "It isn't yours; I bought it for my child". The child runs home crying, but there is not a parent who fights their corner. Self-soothing from even low key trauma events and occurrences, can lead to compulsive self-soothing behaviours from a young age. Over time, the brain comes across and gravitates to more intense patterns of behaviours, such as Sex/Porn/Love compulsivity activities. Treat and process trauma first, before embarking on a Recovery Programme or 12 steps group; otherwise the unresolved and unprocessed trauma will bite you in the bum again, at a later date when the perfect storm appears. Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

We can't change what we cannot see and do not understand. This is me doing life how I do life. What's the problem? There is no problem (to us), if there is no problem. But the truth is, we know some things are not working right in life, but we don't understand why or what. Change has not and cannot even begin. When we gain greater insight and understanding, then change has become. We have moved the stuff from the unconscious into the consciousness. It can never be the same again. It is visible. We have used a highlighter pen to make it very visible. We now have choice. Some may choose to do nothing with the insight. The Change process is stalled and goes no further. Those who do something with the insight, move the change process along a continuum to the next level. Change has truly began. It is not complete and we are still some way away from where we want to be; but fact is, change is happening. It is a process. There is a Timeline to change. We are now firmly on the Timeline; the stages of change; the continuum. We will reach a place of transition. "I am still not where I want to be, but praise God, I am not where I use to be". Let The Kairos Centre journey with you through the Change process to reclaim your life and be the best that you can be with this one time life that you get to live. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

Managing triggers is just one aspect of the recovery process. Not unique to sex/porn/love addiction; it manifests in many other trauma areas, such as childhood sexual abuse that keeps on keeping on being triggered in adulthood. How did the triggers get set up. Childhood development holds the clues. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing) may hold the keys. Really? No way? Does it come with a guarantee - this EMDR stuff? What is it about? Go after the setting up of the addiction, rather than go straight to tools to first stop the behaviours. Give EMDR a try. It works! Described as "Rewiring your life: A radical therapy based on eye movements can desensitise painful memories, heal hurts and aid transformation at warp speed". Here is a link: https://aeon.co/essays/how-emdr-helps-to-reprocess-traumatic-memories-at-warp-speed. The Kairos Centre use EMDR regularly with numerous clients with great outcomes. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

The cave man instinct to protect us from the mammoths & sabertooth cats is alive and kicking in our 21st Century way of doing life, as it played out back then. The dangers have changed, but nonetheless, the brain (our cognition) convinces us of a danger that is not real and the body comes to alert repeatedly through the day, ready to protect us, unless we can calm our thinking and take it off guard duty. Our thoughts, our thinking, our cognition leads to our behaviour. Not the other way round. So change cognition before you try to change behaviour. "If you can change your thinking, you can change your life". It is that stark. Really, it is. Don't believe the lie people. Use the rest of your other senses to cross-examine your cognition. Get a re-set in your mind using the tools provided by The Kairos Centre - involving Grounding (to address Dissociation); Breathing (deeper and longer, instead of short shallow - panic); Suck a lemon; and going to your Calm/Peaceful/Restful place - with tapping to soothe the left & right brain. The use of those Neurotramitters/neurochemicals in the body - for self-soothing - is not the way and is only a 5 minutes wonder - then the unwanted kick back. Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

....but it isn't that complicated! At least not when you read the material from public friendly neuroscientists like Dr Caroline Leaf. "The Pleasure Principle" - What's that about? Another very clever Neuroscientist (Dr Struthers) has brought together the individual role played by each of those (neurotransmitters/neuropeptides/brain chemicals/biochemicals - whatever they are properly called). This is where I get ready to run for my bunker, for fear of the wrath of a grieving female partner - when I say that Sex Addiction is not about porn images. Porn is only the needle, to get those chemicals into the body. What chemicals? Here's what Dr Struthers says (in summary): As a man goes through the day, testosterone increases with each stare, fantasy and anticipation, creating the desire for sex; norepinephrine (I can't pronounce it) - is being released, getting the brain primed and alert for action; serotonin release creates excitement for the anticipated payoff; dopamine focus the mind, as a reminder to the brain, where and what it did the last time to find the reliable payoff. As the activity starts, endogenous opiates give a rush of euphoria; Oxytocin and vasopressin bind the images and experience together. The next acting out session, to repeat the process, is just a moment away. I wonder what all this looks like for women? Let's ask Dr Struthers. Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

We do need to pay much attention to those Childhood development stages and how they may have shaped how we go on to do our adult relationships: "Come close; I want you close; I need you close; I need to own you for myself; you're too close; move away; give me space; this is stifling; i need more from you; you're not the one for me; blowing you up". Any of these ringing true or resonate with you? It is called sabotage. Go after the sex/porn/love addiction first and have " Mrs Porn" on her way out, to give Couples counselling more varsity to succeed. Yet, don't not do anything about the the couples relationship whilst doing the sex/porn/love addiction work; since you might unwittingly leave the couple too long and end up burning bridges that you can't repair or get back. Then psychosexual Therapy may become necessary, if an identifiable disorder has development. Three distinct areas of work, with different skill sets. We do them all at The Kairos Centre. Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

Early years fostered, Adopted, Immigrate, parents separation & divorce, verbal, physical, sexual and/or spiritual abuse, Boarding school, premature birth, incubated, mothers post-natal depression, alcoholic, drug use, parent working away a lot, emotionally absent even when they are home - are just some contributing causes for setting up INSECURE ATTACHMENT - which may later manifest in how the adult child will go on to do interpersonal relationships. We all need a lighthouse that is stable during the earliest years of childhood development. A black hole void gets set up; that insecure Attachment behaviours try to fill, when that childhood development period is not negotiated through in a "good enough" manner. There then follows, attempts throughout adulthood relationships to repeatedly repeatedly use conscious and unconscious processes to try to fill the void = LOVE ADDICTION. Want to know more and better understand? In all your getting, get understanding. Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

You feel insecure in close relationship with another and so the brain provides strategies to "control" the relationship, but is so unconscious that you deny you are doing any such thing. Attachment is more accurately Detachment; yet a pining to be close to at least one other. Strange contradiction hey! In your quest for sobriety, don't go for long strides and big leaps. Successful recovery and achieving sobriety, is more about small bite size, incremental, but progressive steps. YOU can do this. Come on. Get up. Dust off. Get back in the fight. Remember, one degree shift or small change in your thinking and behaviour patterns, means that in one year, the trajectory of your life will have taken you into a tangent and positive outcomes that you dreamed about and never thought to be possible. Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

Core Emotional Needs, such as Approval, Attention, Security, Respect (and more) get depleted over time and as human beings, getting them met, and kept topped up, is not optional. We will consciously, but mostly unconsciously Fight/Flight/Freeze in order to get them met. They desire to be met. You are in danger zone for Acting out, as a way to fulfil those needs - temporarily. Yet, temporarily (at the time), is good enough and promises a fix. Fight may take the form of passive-aggressive. You are out of sort with a partner and you know that they know; they are worried that because of it, you may Act out; but you throw caution to the wind and don't care. In fact, quietly, you are pleased they fear you might act out. That is a way you get back at them and give them their "comeuppance". You know what Flight response looks like don't you? That is when you run into the arms of "Mrs Porn" or "Mrs Sex" or the pursuit of love & affection. Here is my definition of Flight: You move yourself out of the place where you perceive that your Core Emotional Needs are not being met and instead, put yourself in a place where you perceive your Core Emotional Needs will more likely be met. Freeze, isn't entirely freeze! It is more about "just getting on with life". Just don't think about it. Throw caution to the wind. Self-pity maybe. Getting Core Emotional Needs met is not negotiable. At some point you will be doing Fight/Flight/Freeze, to get them met. Better understand the dynamics. Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

Just like similar poles of a magnet repel each other, so it is that Narcissism and Empathy also repel each other. They cannot co-exist in the same place together - in unity. Either you will have more of one and less of the other being played out or less of the other and more of one! Get it? Here's the deal. One MUST become less and the other become greater. Which one is the greater in your life? Let The Kairos Centre help you to make EMPATHY the dominant trait that is played out in your life. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

Do the Maths. Remove shame and sex addiction breaks down. Remove Narcissism; more accurately, transform Narcissism (over time) into Empathy and sex addiction breaks down. Learn how to make shame visible; walk of the page; become touchable - using The Kairos Centre "Shields" exercise. Many clients initially, find it difficult to identify with and own Narcissism until we break it down. Come and learn more about these two dominant features of sex/porn/love addiction. Let The Kairos Centre unravel it for you. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

Having completed the extensive History Taking (by asking lots of questions over three sessions) to build a profile of our clients from birth to current age, we then give feedback and diagnosis. That includes an hypothesis as to the Role, Function & Purpose which the behaviours serve. It is important not to hide behind the feedback which finds that something happened to you in childhood development; therefore current behaviour patterns are not your fault. Not true! Not a level playing field, but own the fact that when you became an adult, you are responsible for your positive choices and negative choices. The sobriety and recovery that you therefore achieve from positive choices, belong to you. I do something strange with my clients. I do brain surgery. I cut the top of the skull off and lift out their brains. I put it on a chair next to them and explain that their brain is not their best friend during the recovery programme. It will sabotage, until treats & rewards kick in and it can see good reward for good behaviour. None of this make much sense? Let The Kairos Centre unravel it for you. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

The Kairos Centre Recovery Programme is about the couple recovery, not only the person with the addiction behaviours - where you are in a partnered relationship. Sit in the seat or walk in the shoes of the partner affected and see life from their vantage point - if you dear - if you can! Difficult to stay with it since to do so means subduing and turning off inclinations toward narcissism. Take a glimpse through their lens before narcissism kids back in. Empathise with their pain. Even that empathy will take you only so far in your quest for sobriety. "White knuckling it" will last only so long. It runs out of puff? "Round and round the mulberry bush you go" again after a short while. Remember that the umbrella of Shame covers both of you and so will also take the partner into hiding as well as you. The Kairos Centre work with multiple numbers of partners (particularly female partners) adversely affected and traumatised by the addiction behaviours of the other. Let us support you. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

Change has begun when you can see the problem; moved it from the unconscious to the conscious. It does not, however, mean that you have changed it immediately you recognise and can see the problem; but change has begun. Get up, dust off and get back in the fight. You can do this. Let The Kairos Centre come alongside you with support. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show

"My word is my bond". When I was a lawyer, this was an overriding priory and principle. Maybe in the past you have made repeated promises to yourself to stop and/or change the behaviours, but you have not followed through and are disenchanted. Get up, dust off. Get back in the fight. Those that achieve change are those that got up, dusted off and got back in. Take your journey and resolve up a level. Create a written Agreement with yourself as a promise to use best endeavours to achieve particular outcomes. The Agreement is to be printed, signed and referred to from time to time during your journey. It is to act as a reminder that your signature represents your honour; your word; your bond; your resolve; your incentive to fulfil that which you have Agreed. Let The Kairos Centre help you with such a document - which takes the form of a Couples (if you are in a couples relationship) Recovery Plan. Let the team at The Kairos Centre Team show you how. Presented by The Kairos Centre: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp Probably the world's first comprehensive Online webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction Recovery Programme, where you discover the real, authentic you; get to like you and positioned to become the best that you can be and on the journey, Recover and gain Sobriety from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction. Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Connect with me on Youtube: Gary McFarlane https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/ https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Facebook: @Kairoscounseling Twitter: @GaryMcFarlane Linkedin: The Kairos Centre - Addiction Therapy Website: kairos-centre.com bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412 Support the show